eclipse last part

involved. This theory is supported by
the sheer number of victims, and by the fact that there seems to be no pattern in the choice of victims.

From Jack the Ripper to Ted Bundy, the targets of serial killings are usually connected by similarities in
age, gender, race, or a combination of the three. The victims of this crime wave range in age from
15-year-old honor student Amanda Reed, to 67-year-old retired postman Omar Jenks. The linked
deaths include a nearly even 18 women and 21 men. The victims are racially diverse: Caucasians, African
Americans, Hispanics and Asians.

The selection appears random. The motive seems to be killing for no other reason than to kill.

So why even consider the idea of a serial killer?

There are enough similarities in the modus operandi to rule out unrelated crimes. Every victim discovered
has been burned to the extent that dental records were necessary for identification. The use of some kind
of accelerant, like gasoline or alcohol, seems to be indicated in the conflagrations; however, no traces of
any accelerant have yet been found. All of the bodies have been carelessly dumped with no attempt at
concealment.

More gruesome yet, most of the remains show evidence of brutal violence — bones crushed and
snapped by some kind of tremendous pressure — which medical examiners believe occurred before the
time of death, though these conclusions are difficult to be sure of, considering the state of the evidence.

Another similarity that points to the possibility of a serial: every crime is perfectly clean of evidence, aside
from the remains themselves. Not a fingerprint, not a tire tread mark nor a foreign hair is left behind.
There have been no sightings of any suspect in the disappearances.

Then there are the disappearances themselves — hardly low profile by any means. None of the victims
are what could be viewed as easy targets. None are runaways or the homeless, who vanish so easily and
are seldom reported missing. Victims have vanished from their homes, from a fourth-story apartment,
from a health club, from a wedding reception. Perhaps the most astounding: 30-year-old amateur boxer
Robert Walsh entered a movie theater with a date; a few minutes into the movie, the woman realized that
he was not in his seat. His body was found only three hours later when fire fighters were called to the
scene of a burning trash Dumpster, twenty miles away.

Another pattern is present in the slayings: all of the victims disappeared at night.

And the most alarming pattern? Acceleration. Six of the homicides were committed in the first month, 11
in the second. Twenty-two have occurred in the last 10 days alone. And the police are no closer to
finding the responsible party than they were after the first charred body was discovered.

The evidence is conflicting, the pieces horrifying. A vicious new gang or a wildly active serial killer? Or
something else the police haven ’t yet conceived of?

Only one conclusion is indisputable: something hideous is stalking Seattle.




It took me three tries to read the last sentence, and I realized the problem was my shaking hands.

“Bella? ”

Focused as I was, Edward ’s voice, though quiet and not totally unexpected, made me gasp and whirl.

He was leaning in the doorway, his eyebrows pulled together. Then he was suddenly at my side, taking
my hand.

“Did I startle you? I ’m sorry. I did knock. . . . ”

“No, no,” I said quickly. “Have you seen this? ” I pointed to the paper.

A frown creased his forehead.

“I hadn ’t seen today ’s news yet. But I knew it was getting worse. We ’re going to have to do something .
. . quickly. ”

I didn ’t like that. I hated any of them taking chances, and whatever or whoever was in Seattle was truly
beginning to fright
en me. But the idea of the Volturi coming was just as scary.

“What does Alice say? ”

“That ’s the problem. ” His frown hardened. “She can ’t see anything . . . though we ’ve made up our minds
half a dozen times to check it out. She ’s starting to lose confidence. She feels like she ’s missing too much
these days, that something ’s wrong. That maybe her vision is slipping away. ”

My eyes were wide. “Can that happen? ”

“Who knows? No one ’s ever done a study . . . but I really doubt it. These things tend to intensify over
time. Look at Aro and Jane. ”

“Then what ’s wrong? ”

“Self-fulfilling prophecy, I think. We keep waiting for Alice to see something so we can go . . . and she
doesn’t see anything because we won ’t really go until she does. So she can ’t see us there. Maybe we ’ll
have to do it blind. ”

I shuddered. “No.”

“Did you have a strong desire to attend class today? We ’re only a couple of days from finals; they won ’t
be giving us anything new. ”

“I think I can live without school for a day. What are we doing? ”

“I want to talk to Jasper. ”

Jasper, again. It was strange. In the Cullen family, Jasper was always a little on the fringe, part of things
but never the center of them. It was my unspoken assumption that he was only there for Alice. I had the
sense that he would follow Alice anywhere, but that this lifestyle was not his first choice. The fact that he
was less committed to it than the others was probably why he had more difficulty keeping it up.

At any rate, I ’d never seen Edward feel dependent on Jasper. I wondered again what he ’d meant about
Jasper’s expertise. I really didn ’t know much about Jasper ’s history, just that he had come from
somewhere in the south before Alice found him. For some reason, Edward had always shied away from




any questions about his newest brother. And I ’d always been too intimidated by the tall, blond vampire
who looked like a brooding movie star to ask him outright.

When we got to the house, we found Carlisle, Esme, and Jasper watching the news intently, though the
sound was so low that it was unintelligible to me. Alice was perched on the bottom step of the grand
staircase, her face in her hands and her expression discouraged. As we walked in, Emmett ambled
through the kitchen door, seeming perfectly at ease. Nothing ever bothered Emmett.

“Hey, Edward. Ditching, Bella? ” He grinned at me.

“We both are, ” Edward reminded him.

Emmett laughed. “Yes, but it ’s her first time through high school. She might miss something. ”

Edward rolled his eyes, but otherwise ignored his favorite brother. He tossed the paper to Carlisle.

“Did you see that they ’re considering a serial killer now? ” he asked.

Carlisle sighed. “They ’ve had two specialists debating that possibility on CNN all morning. ”

“We can’t let this go on. ”

“Let’s go now, ” Emmett said with sudden enthusiasm. “I’m dead bored. ”

A hiss echoed down the stairway from upstairs.

“She’s such a pessimist, ” Emmett muttered to himself.

Edward agreed with Emmett. “We’ll have to go sometime. ”

Rosalie appeared at the top of the stairs and descended slowly. Her face was smooth, expressionless.

Carlisle was shaking his head. “I’m concerned. We ’ve never involved ourselves in this kind of thing
before. It ’s not our business. We aren ’t the Volturi. ”

“I don’t want the Volturi to have to come here, ” Edward said. “It gives us so much less reaction time. ”

“And all those innocent humans in Seattle, ” Esme murmured. “It’s not right to let them die this way. ”

“I know,” Carlisle sighed.

“Oh,” Edward said sharply, turning his head slightly to look at Jasper. “I didn ’t think of that. I see. You ’
re right, that has to be it. Well, that changes everything. ”

I wasn ’t the only one who stared at him in confusion, but I might have been the only one who didn ’t look
slightly annoyed.

“I think you ’d better explain to the others, ” Edward said to Jasper. “What could be the purpose of this? ”
Edward started to pace, staring at the floor, lost in thought.

I hadn ’t seen her get up, but Alice was there beside me. “What is he rambling about? ” she asked Jasper.
“What are you thinking? ”

Jasper didn ’t seem to enjoy the spotlight. He hesitated, reading every face in the circle — for everyone
had moved in to hear what he would say — and then his eyes paused on my face.




“You’re confused, ” he said to me, his deep voice very quiet.

There was no question in his assumption. Jasper knew what I was feeling, what everyone was feeling.

“We’re all confused, ” Emmett grumbled.

“You can afford the time to be patient, ” Jasper told him. “Bella should understand this, too. She ’s one of
us now. ”

His words took me by surprise. As little as I ’d had to do with Jasper, especially since my last birthday
when he ’d tried to kill me, I hadn ’t realize that he thought of me that way.

“How much do you know about me, Bella? ” Jasper asked.

Emmett sighed theatrically, and plopped down on the couch to wait with exaggerated impatience.

“Not much, ” I admitted.

Jasper stared at Edward, who looked up to meet his gaze.

“No,” Edward answered his thought. “I’m sure you can understand why I haven ’t told her that story. But
I suppose she needs to hear it now. ”

Jasper nodded thoughtfully, and then started to roll up the arm of his ivory sweater.

I watched, curious and confused, trying to figure out what he was doing. He held his wrist under the edge
of the lampshade beside him, close to the light of the naked bulb, and traced his finger across a raised
crescent mark on the pale skin.

It took me a minute to understand why the shape looked strangely familiar.

“Oh,” I breathed as realization hit. “Jasper, you have a scar exactly like mine. ”

I held out my hand, the silvery crescent more prominent against my cream skin than against his alabaster.

Jasper smiled faintly. “I have a lot of scars like yours, Bella. ”

Jasper’s face was unreadable as he pushed the sleeve of his thin sweater higher up his arm. At first my
eyes could not make sense of the texture that was layered thickly across the skin. Curved half-moons
crisscrossed in a feathery pattern that was only visible, white on white as it was, because the bright glow
of the lamp beside him threw the slightly raised design into relief, with shallow shadows outlining the
shapes. And then I grasped that the pattern was made of individual crescents like the one on his wrist . . .
the one on my hand.

I looked back at my own small, solitary scar — and remembered how I ’d received it. I stared at the
shape of James ’s teeth, embossed forever on my skin.

And then I gasped, staring up at him. “Jasper, what happened to you? ”



13. NEWBORN

“THE SAME THING THAT HAPPENED TO YOUR HAND, ” Jasper answered in a quiet voice. “




Repeated a thousand times. ” He laughed a little ruefully and brushed at his arm. “Our venom is the only
thing that leaves a scar. ”

“Why?” I breathed in horror, feeling rude but unable to stop staring at his subtly ravaged skin.

“I didn ’t have quite the same . . . upbringing as my adopted siblings here. My beginning was something
else entirely. ” His voice turned hard as he finished.

I gaped at him, appalled.

“Before I tell you my story, ” Jasper said, “you must understand that there are places in our world, Bella,
where the life span of the never-aging is measured in weeks, and not centuries. ”

The others had heard this before. Carlisle and Emmett turned their attention to the TV again. Alice
moved silently to sit at Esme ’s feet. But Edward was just as absorbed as I was; I could feel his eyes on
my face, reading every flicker of emotion.

“To really understand why, you have to look at the world from a different perspective. You have to
imagine the way it looks to the powerful, the greedy . . . the perpetually thirsty.

“You see, there are places in this world that are more desirable to us than others. Places where we can
be less restrained, and still avoid detection.

“Picture, for instance, a map of the western hemisphere. Picture on it every human life as a small red dot.
The thicker the red, the more easily we — well, those who exist this way — can feed without attracting
notice. ”

I shuddered at the image in my head, at the word feed. But Jasper wasn ’t worried about frightening me,
not overprotective like Edward always was. He went on without a pause.

“Not that the covens in the South care much for what the humans notice or do not. It ’s the Volturi that
keep them in check. They are the only ones the southern covens fear. If not for the Volturi, the rest of us
would be quickly exposed. ”

I frowned at the way he pronounced the name — with respect, almost gratitude. The idea of the Volturi
as the good guys in any sense was hard to accept.

“The North is, by comparison, very civilized. Mostly we are nomads here who enjoy the day as well as
the night, who allow humans to interact with us unsuspectingly — anonymity is important to us all.

“It’s a different world in the South. The immortals there come out only at night. They spend the day
plotting their next move, or anticipating their enemy ’s. Because it has been war in the South, constant war
for centuries, with never one moment of truce. The covens there barely note the existence of humans,
except as soldiers notice a herd of cows by the wayside — food for the taking. They only hide from the
notice of the herd because of the Volturi. ”

“But what are they fighting for? ” I asked.

Jasper smiled. “Remember the map with the red dots? ”

He waited, so I nodded.

“They fight for control of the thickest red.

“You see, it occurred to someone once that, if he were the only vampire in, let ’s say Mexico City, well




then, he could feed every night, twice, three times, and no one would ever notice. He plotted ways to get
rid of the competition.

“Others had the same idea. Some came up with more effective tactics than others.

“But the most effective tactic was invented by a fairly young vampire named Benito. The first anyone
ever heard of him, he came down from somewhere north of Dallas and massacred the two small covens
that shared the area near Houston. Two nights later, he took on the much stronger clan of allies that
claimed Monterrey in northern Mexico. Again, he won. ”

“How did he win? ” I asked with wary curiosity.

“Benito had created an army of newborn vampires. He was the first one to think of it, and, in the
beginning, he was unstoppable. Very young vampires are volatile, wild, and almost impossible to control.
One newborn can be reasoned with, taught to restrain himself, but ten, fifteen together are a nightmare.
They ’ll turn on each other as easily as on the enemy you point them at. Benito had to keep making more
as they fought amongst themselves, and as the covens he decimated took more than half his force down
before they lost.

“You see, though newborns are dangerous, they are still possible to defeat if you know what you ’re
doing. They ’re incredibly powerful physically, for the first year or so, and if they ’re allowed to bring
strength to bear they can crush an older vampire with ease. But they are slaves to their instincts, and thus
predictable. Usually, they have no skill in fighting, only muscle and ferocity. And in this case,
overwhelming numbers. ”

“The vampires in southern Mexico realized what was coming for them, and they did the only thing they
could think of to counteract Benito. They made armies of their own. . . .

“All hell broke loose — and I mean that more literally than you can possibly imagine. We immortals have
our histories, too, and this particular war will never be forgotten. Of course, it was not a good time to be
human in Mexico, either. ”

I shuddered.

“When the body count reached epidemic proportions — in fact, your histories blame a disease for the
population slump — the Volturi finally stepped in. The entire guard came together and sought out every
newborn in the bottom half of North America. Benito was entrenched in Puebla, building his army as
quickly as he could in order to take on the prize — Mexico City. The Volturi started with him, and then
moved on to the rest.

“Anyone who was found with the newborns was executed immediately, and, since everyone was trying
to protect themselves from Benito, Mexico was emptied of vampires for a time.

“The Volturi were cleaning house for almost a year. This was another chapter of our history that will
always be remembered, though there were very few witnesses left to speak of what it was like. I spoke
to someone once who had, from a distance, watched what happened when they visited Culiacán. ”

Jasper shuddered. I realized that I had never before seen him either afraid or horrified. This was a first.

“It was enough that the fever for conquest did not spread from the South. The rest of the world stayed
sane. We owe the Volturi for our present way of life.

“But when the Volturi went back to Italy, the survivors were quick to stake their claims in the South.




“It didn ’t take long before covens began to dispute again. There was a lot of bad blood, if you ’ll forgive
the expression. Vendettas abounded. The idea of newborns was already there, and some were not able
to resist. However, the Volturi had not been forgotten, and the southern covens were more careful this
time. The newborns were selected from the human pool with more care, and given more training. They
were used circumspectly, and the humans remained, for the most part, oblivious. Their creators gave the
Volturi no reason to return.

“The wars resumed, but on a smaller scale. Every now and then, someone would go too far, speculation
would begin in the human newspapers, and the Volturi would return and clean out the city. But they let
the others, the careful ones, continue. . . . ”

Jasper was staring off into space.

“That ’s how you were changed. ” My realization was a whisper.

“Yes,” he agreed. “When I was human, I lived in Houston, Texas. I was almost seventeen years old
when I joined the Confederate Army in 1861. I lied to the recruiters and told them I was twenty. I was
tall enough to get away with it.

“My military career was short-lived, but very promising. People always . . . liked me, listened to what I
had to say. My father said it was charisma. Of course, now I know it was probably something more. But,
whatever the reason, I was promoted quickly through the ranks, over older, more experienced men. The
Confederate Army was new and scrambling to organize itself, so that provided opportunities, as well. By
the first battle of Galveston — well, it was more of a skirmish, really — I was the youngest major in
Texas, not even acknowledging my real age.

“I was placed in charge of evacuating the women and children from the city when the Union ’s mortar
boats reached the harbor. It took a day to prepare them, and then I left with the first column of civilians
to convey them to Houston.

“I remember that one night very clearly.

“We reached the city after dark. I stayed only long enough to make sure the entire party was safely
situated. As soon as that was done, I got myself a fresh horse, and I headed back to Galveston. There
wasn’t time to rest.

“Just a mile outside the city, I found three women on foot. I assumed they were stragglers and
dismounted at once to offer them my aid. But, when I could see their faces in the dim light of the moon, I
was stunned into silence. They were, without question, the three most beautiful women I had ever seen.

“They had such pale skin, I remember marveling at it. Even the little black-haired girl, whose features
were clearly Mexican, was porcelain in the moonlight. They seemed young, all of them, still young enough
to be called girls. I knew they were not lost members of our party. I would have remembered seeing
these three.

“‘He’s speechless, ’ the tallest girl said in a lovely, delicate voice — it was like wind chimes. She had fair
hair, and her skin was snow white.

“The other was blonder still, her skin just as chalky. Her face was like an angel ’s. She leaned toward me
with half-closed eyes and inhaled deeply.

“‘Mmm, ’ she sighed. ‘Lovely. ’

“The small one, the tiny brunette, put her hand on the girl ’s arm and spoke quickly. Her voice was too




soft and musical to be sharp, but that seemed to be the way she intended it.

“‘Concentrate, Nettie, ’ she said.

“I’d always had a good sense of how people related to each other, and it was immediately clear that the
brunette was somehow in charge of the others. If they ’d been military, I would have said that she
outranked them.

“‘He looks right — young, strong, an officer. . . . ’ The brunette paused, and I tried unsuccessfully to
speak. ‘And there ’s something more . . . do you sense it? ’ she asked the other two. ‘He’s . . .
compelling. ’

“‘Oh, yes,’ Nettie quickly agreed, leaning toward me again.

“‘Patience, ’ the brunette cautioned her. ‘I want to keep this one. ’

“Nettie frowned; she seemed annoyed.

“‘You’d better do it, Maria, ’ the taller blonde spoke again. ‘If he ’s important to you. I kill them twice as
often as I keep them. ’

“‘Yes, I’ll do it, ’ Maria agreed. ‘I really do like this one. Take Nettie away, will you? I don ’t want to
have to protect my back while I ’m trying to focus. ’

“My hair was standing up on the back of my neck, though I didn ’t understand the meaning of anything the
beautiful creatures were saying. My instincts told me that there was danger, that the angel had meant it
when she spoke of killing, but my judgment overruled my instincts. I had not been taught to fear women,
but to protect them.

“‘Let’s hunt, ’ Nettie agreed enthusiastically, reaching for the tall girl ’s hand. They wheeled — they were
so graceful! — and sprinted toward the city. They seemed to almost take flight, they were so fast — their
white dresses blew out behind them like wings. I blinked in amazement, and they were gone.

“I turned to stare at Maria, who was watching me curiously.

“I’d never been superstitious in my life. Until that second, I ’d never believed in ghosts or any other such
nonsense. Suddenly, I was unsure.

“‘What is your name, soldier? ’ Maria asked me.

“‘Major Jasper Whitlock, ma ’am,’ I stammered, unable to be impolite to a female, even if she was a
ghost.

“‘I truly hope you survive, Jasper, ’ she said in her gentle voice. ‘I have a good feeling about you. ’

“She took a step closer, and inclined her head as if she were going to kiss me. I stood frozen in place,
though my instincts were screaming at me to run. ”

Jasper paused, his face thoughtful. “A few days later, ” he finally said, and I wasn ’t sure if he had edited
his story for my sake or because he was responding to the tension that even I could feel exuding from
Edward, “I was introduced to my new life.

“Their names were Maria, Nettie, and Lucy. They hadn ’t been together long — Maria had rounded up
the other two — all three were survivors of recently lost battles. Theirs was a partnership of convenience.
Maria wanted revenge, and she wanted her territories back. The others were eager to increase their . . .




herd lands, I suppose you could say. They were putting together an army, and going about it more
carefully than was usual. It was Maria ’s idea. She wanted a superior army, so she sought out specific
humans who had potential. Then she gave us much more attention, more training than anyone else had
bothered with. She taught us to fight, and she taught us to be invisible to the humans. When we did well,
we were rewarded. . . . ”

He paused, editing again.

“She was in a hurry, though. Maria knew that the massive strength of the newborn began to wane around
the year mark, and she wanted to act while we were strong.

“There were six of us when I joined Maria ’s band. She added four more within a fortnight. We were all
male — Maria wanted soldiers — and that made it slightly more difficult to keep from fighting amongst
ourselves. I fought my first battles against my new comrades in arms. I was quicker than the others,
better at combat. Maria was pleased with me, though put out that she had to keep replacing the ones I
destroyed. I was rewarded often, and that made me stronger.

“Maria was a good judge of character. She decided to put me in charge of the others — as if I were
being promoted. It suited my nature exactly. The casualties went down dramatically, and our numbers
swelled to hover around twenty.

“This was considerable for the cautious times we lived in. My ability, as yet undefined, to control the
emotional atmosphere around me was vitally effective. We soon began to work together in a way that
newborn vampires had never cooperated before. Even Maria, Nettie, and Lucy were able to work
together more easily.

“Maria grew quite fond of me — she began to depend upon me. And, in some ways, I worshipped the
ground she walked on. I had no idea that any other life was possible. Maria told us this was the way
things were, and we believed.

“She asked me to tell her when my brothers and I were ready to fight, and I was eager to prove myself. I
pulled together an army of twenty-three in the end — twenty-three unbelievably strong new vampires,
organized and skilled as no others before. Maria was ecstatic.

“We crept down toward Monterrey, her former home, and she unleashed us on her enemies. They had
only nine newborns at the time, and a pair of older vampires controlling them. We took them down more
easily than Maria could believe, losing only four in the process. It was an unheard-of margin of victory.

“And we were well trained. We did it without attracting notice. The city changed hands without any
human being aware.

“Success made Maria greedy. It wasn ’t long before she began to eye other cities. That first year, she
extended her control to cover most of Texas and northern Mexico. Then the others came from the South
to dislodge her. ”

He brushed two fingers along the faint pattern of scars on his arm.

“The fighting was intense. Many began to worry that the Volturi would return. Of the original
twenty-three, I was the only one to survive the first eighteen months. We both won and lost. Nettie and
Lucy turned on Maria eventually — but that one we won.

“Maria and I were able to hold on to Monterrey. It quieted a little, though the wars continued. The idea
of conquest was dying out; it was mostly vengeance and feuding now. So many had lost their partners,




and that is something our kind does not forgive. . . .

“Maria and I always kept a dozen or so newborns ready. They meant little to us — they were pawns,
they were disposable. When they outgrew their usefulness, we did dispose of them. My life continued in
the same violent pattern and the years passed. I was sick of it all for a very long time before anything
changed . . .

“Decades later, I developed a friendship with a newborn who ’d remained useful and survived his first
three years, against the odds. His name was Peter. I liked Peter; he was . . . civilized — I suppose that ’s
the right word. He didn ’t enjoy the fight, though he was good at it.

“He was assigned to deal with the newborns — babysit them, you could say. It was a full-time job.

“And then it was time to purge again. The newborns were outgrowing their strength; they were due to be
replaced. Peter was supposed to help me dispose of them. We took them aside individually, you see,
one by one . . . It was always a very long night. This time, he tried to convince me that a few had
potential, but Maria had instructed that we get rid of them all. I told him no.

“We were about halfway through, and I could feel that it was taking a great toll on Peter. I was trying to
decide whether or not I should send him away and finish up myself as I called out the next victim. To my
surprise, he was suddenly angry, furious. I braced for whatever his mood might foreshadow — he was a
good fighter, but he was never a match for me.

“The newborn I ’d summoned was a female, just past her year mark. Her name was Charlotte. His
feelings changed when she came into view; they gave him away. He yelled for her to run, and he bolted
after her. I could have pursued them, but I didn ’t. I felt . . . averse to destroying him.

“Maria was irritated with me for that . . .

“Five years later, Peter snuck back for me. He picked a good day to arrive.

“Maria was mystified by my ever-deteriorating frame of mind. She ’d never felt a moment ’s depression,
and I wondered why I was different. I began to notice a change in her emotions when she was near me
— sometimes there was fear . . . and malice — the same feelings that had given me advance warning
when Nettie and Lucy struck. I was preparing myself to destroy my only ally, the core of my existence,
when Peter returned.

“Peter told me about his new life with Charlotte, told me about options I ’d never dreamed I had. In five
years, they ’d never had a fight, though they ’d met many others in the north. Others who could co-exist
without the constant mayhem.

“In one conversation, he had me convinced. I was ready to go, and somewhat relieved I wouldn ’t have
to kill Maria. I ’d been her companion for as many years as Carlisle and Edward have been together, yet
the bond between us was nowhere near as strong. When you live for the fight, for the blood, the
relationships you form are tenuous and easily broken. I walked away without a backward glance.

“I traveled with Peter and Charlotte for a few years, getting the feel of this new, more peaceful world.
But the depression didn ’t fade. I didn ’t understand what was wrong with me, until Peter noticed that it
was always worse after I ’d hunted.

“I contemplated that. In so many years of slaughter and carnage, I ’d lost nearly all of my humanity. I was
undeniably a nightmare, a monster of the grisliest kind. Yet each time I found another human victim, I
would feel a faint prick of remembrance for that other life. Watching their eyes widen in wonder at my




beauty, I could see Maria and the others in my head, what they had looked like to me the last night that I
was Jasper Whitlock. It was stronger for me — this borrowed memory — than it was for anyone else,
because I could feel everything my prey was feeling. And I lived their emotions as I killed them.

“You’ve experienced the way I can manipulate the emotions around myself, Bella, but I wonder if you
realize how the feelings in a room affect me. I live every day in a climate of emotion. For the first century
of my life, I lived in a world of bloodthirsty vengeance. Hate was my constant companion. It eased some
when I left Maria, but I still had to feel the horror and fear of my prey.

“It began to be too much.

“The depression got worse, and I wandered away from Peter and Charlotte. Civilized as they were, they
didn ’t feel the same aversion I was beginning to feel. They only wanted peace from the fight. I was so
wearied by killing — killing anyone, even mere humans.

“Yet I had to keep killing. What choice did I have? I tried to kill less often, but I would get too thirsty
and I would give in. After a century of instant gratification, I found self-discipline . . . challenging. I still
haven ’t perfected that. ”

Jasper was lost in the story, as was I. It surprised me when his desolate expression smoothed into a
peaceful smile.

“I was in Philadelphia. There was a storm, and I was out during the day — something I was not
completely comfortable with yet. I knew standing in the rain would attract attention, so I ducked into a
little half-empty diner. My eyes were dark enough that no one would notice them, though this meant I
was thirsty, and that worried me a little.

“She was there — expecting me, naturally. ” He chuckled once. “She hopped down from the high stool at
the counter as soon as I walked in and came directly toward me.

“It shocked me. I was not sure if she meant to attack. That ’s the only interpretation of her behavior my
past had to offer. But she was smiling. And the emotions that were emanating from her were like nothing
I’d ever felt before.

“‘You’ve kept me waiting a long time, ’ she said. ”

I didn ’t realize Alice had come to stand behind me again.

“And you ducked your head, like a good Southern gentleman, and said, ‘I’m sorry, ma ’am.’” Alice
laughed at the memory.

Jasper smiled down at her. “You held out your hand, and I took it without stopping to make sense of
what I was doing. For the first time in almost a century, I felt hope. ”

Jasper took Alice ’s hand as he spoke.

Alice grinned. “I was just relieved. I thought you were never going to show up. ”

They smiled at each other for a long moment, and then Jasper looked back to me, the soft expression
lingering.

“Alice told me what she ’d seen of Carlisle and his family. I could hardly believe that such an existence
was possible. But Alice made me optimistic. So we went to find them. ”




“Scared the hell out of them, too, ” Edward said, rolling his eyes at Jasper before turning to me to
explain. “Emmett and I were away hunting. Jasper shows up, covered in battle scars, towing this little
freak” — he nudged Alice playfully — “who greets them all by name, knows everything about them, and
wants to know which room she can move into. ”

Alice and Jasper laughed in harmony, soprano and bass.

“When I got home, all my things were in the garage, ” Edward continued.

Alice shrugged. “Your room had the best view. ”

They all laughed together now.

“That ’s a nice story, ” I said.

Three pairs of eyes questioned my sanity.

“I mean the last part, ” I defended myself. “The happy ending with Alice. ”

“Alice has made all the difference, ” Jasper agreed. “This is a climate I enjoy. ”

But the momentary pause in the stress couldn ’t last.

“An army, ” Alice whispered. “Why didn ’t you tell me? ”

The others were intent again, their eyes locked on Jasper ’s face.

“I thought I must be interpreting the signs incorrectly. Because where is the motive? Why would someone
create an army in Seattle? There is no history there, no vendetta. It makes no sense from a conquest
standpoint, either; no one claims it. Nomads pass through, but there ’s no one to fight for it. No one to
defend it from.

“But I ’ve seen this before, and there ’s no other explanation. There is an army of newborn vampires in
Seattle. Fewer than twenty, I ’d guess. The difficult part is that they are totally untrained. Whoever made
them just set them loose. It will only get worse, and it won ’t be much longer till the Volturi step in.
Actually, I ’m surprised they ’ve let this go on so long. ”

“What can we do? ” Carlisle asked.

“If we want to avoid the Volturi ’s involvement, we will have to destroy the newborns, and we will have
to do it very soon. ” Jasper’s face was hard. Knowing his story now, I could guess how this evaluation
must disturb him. “I can teach you how. It won ’t be easy in the city. The young ones aren ’t concerned
about secrecy, but we will have to be. It will limit us in ways that they are not. Maybe we can lure them
out.”

“Maybe we won ’t have to. ” Edward’s voice was bleak. “Does it occur to anyone else that the only
possible threat in the area that would call for the creation of an army is . . . us? ”

Jasper’s eyes narrowed; Carlisle ’s widened, shocked.

“Tanya ’s family is also near, ” Esme said slowly, unwilling to accept Edward ’s words.

“The newborns aren ’t ravaging Anchorage, Esme. I think we have to consider the idea that we are the
targets. ”




“They ’re not coming after us, ” Alice insisted, and then paused. “Or . . . they don ’t know that they are.
Not yet.”

“What is that? ” Edward asked, curious and tense. “What are you remembering? ”

“Flickers, ” Alice said. “I can’t see a clear picture when I try to see what ’s going on, nothing concrete.
But I ’ve been getting these strange flashes. Not enough to make sense of. It ’s as if someone ’s changing
their mind, moving from one course of action to another so quickly that I can ’t get a good view. . . . ”

“Indecision? ” Jasper asked in disbelief.

“I don’t know. . . .”

“Not indecision, ” Edward growled. “Knowledge. Someone who knows you can ’t see anything until the
decision is made. Someone who is hiding from us. Playing with the holes in your vision. ”

“Who would know that? ” Alice whispered.

Edward’s eyes were hard as ice. “Aro knows you as well as you know yourself. ”

“But I would see if they ’d decided to come. . . . ”

“Unless they didn ’t want to get their hands dirty. ”

“A favor, ” Rosalie suggested, speaking for the first time. “Someone in the South . . . someone who
already had trouble with the rules. Someone who should have been destroyed is offered a second
chance — if they take care of this one small problem. . . . That would explain the Volturi ’s sluggish
response.”

“Why? ” Carlisle asked, still shocked. “There ’s no reason for the Volturi —”

“It was there, ” Edward disagreed quietly. “I’m surprised it ’s come to this so soon, because the other
thoughts were stronger. In Aro ’s head he saw me at his one side and Alice at his other. The present and
the future, virtual omniscience. The power of the idea intoxicated him. I would have thought it would take
him much longer to give up on that plan — he wanted it too much. But there was also the thought of you,
Carlisle, of our family, growing stronger and larger. The jealousy and the fear: you having . . . not more
than he had, but still, things that he wanted. He tried not to think about it, but he couldn ’t hide it
completely. The idea of rooting out the competition was there; besides their own, ours is the largest
coven they ’ve ever found. . . . ”

I stared at his face in horror. He ’d never told me this, but I guessed I knew why. I could see it in my
head now, Aro ’s dream. Edward and Alice in black, flowing robes, drifting along at Aro ’s side with their
eyes cold and blood-red. . . .

Carlisle interrupted my waking nightmare. “They ’re too committed to their mission. They would never
break the rules themselves. It goes against everything they ’ve worked for. ”

“They ’ll clean up afterward. A double betrayal, ” Edward said in a grim voice. “No harm done. ”

Jasper leaned forward, shaking his head. “No, Carlisle is right. The Volturi do not break rules. Besides, it
’s much too sloppy. This . . . person, this threat — they have no idea what they ’re doing. A first-timer, I ’
d swear to it. I cannot believe the Volturi are involved. But they will be. ”

They all stared at each other, frozen with stress.




“Then let ’s go,” Emmett almost roared. “What are we waiting for? ”

Carlisle and Edward exchanged a long glance. Edward nodded once.

“We’ll need you to teach us, Jasper, ” Carlisle finally said. “How to destroy them. ” Carlisle ’s jaw was
hard, but I could see the pain in his eyes as he said the words. No one hated violence more than Carlisle.

There was something bothering me, and I couldn ’t put my finger on it. I was numb, horrified, deathly
afraid. And yet, under that, I could feel that I was missing something important. Something that would
make some sense out of the chaos. That would explain it.

“We’re going to need help, ” Jasper said. “Do you think Tanya ’s family would be willing . . . ? Another
five mature vampires would make an enormous difference. And then Kate and Eleazar would be
especially advantageous on our side. It would be almost easy, with their aid. ”

“We’ll ask, ” Carlisle answered.

Jasper held out a cell phone. “We need to hurry. ”

I’d never seen Carlisle ’s innate calm so shaken. He took the phone, and paced toward the windows. He
dialed a number, held the phone to his ear, and laid the other hand against the glass. He stared out into
the foggy morning with a pained and ambivalent expression.

Edward took my hand and pulled me to the white loveseat. I sat beside him, staring at his face while he
stared at Carlisle.

Carlisle ’s voice was low and quick, difficult to hear. I heard him greet Tanya, and then he raced through
the situation too fast for me to understand much, though I could tell that the Alaskan vampires were not
ignorant of what was going on in Seattle.

Then something changed in Carlisle ’s voice.

“Oh,” he said, his voice sharper in surprise. “We didn ’t realize . . . that Irina felt that way. ”

Edward groaned at my side and closed his eyes. “Damn it. Damn Laurent to the deepest pit of hell where
he belongs. ”

“Laurent? ” I whispered, the blood emptying from my face, but Edward didn ’t respond, focused on
Carlisle ’s thoughts.

My short encounter with Laurent early this spring was not something that had faded or dimmed in my
mind. I still remembered every word he ’d said before Jacob and his pack had interrupted.

I actually came here as a favor to her. . . .

Victoria. Laurent had been her first maneuver — she’d sent him to observe, to see how hard it might be
to get to me. He hadn ’t survived the wolves to report back.

Though he ’d kept up his old ties with Victoria after James ’s death, he ’d also formed new ties and new
relationships. He ’d gone to live with Tanya ’s family in Alaska — Tanya the strawberry blonde — the
closest friends the Cullens had in the vampire world, practically extended family. Laurent had been with
them for almost a year previous to his death.

Carlisle was still talking, his voice not quite pleading. Persuasive, but with an edge. Then the edge
abruptly won out over the persuasion.




“There ’s no question of that, ” Carlisle said in a stern voice. “We have a truce. They haven ’t broken it,
and neither will we. I ’m sorry to hear that. . . . Of course. We ’ll just have to do our best alone. ”

Carlisle shut the phone without waiting for an answer. He continued to stare out into the fog.

“What’s the problem? ” Emmett murmured to Edward.

“Irina was more involved with our friend Laurent than we knew. She ’s holding a grudge against the
wolves for destroying him to save Bella. She wants —” He paused, looking down at me.

“Go on,” I said as evenly as I could.

His eyes tightened. “She wants revenge. To take down the pack. They would trade their help for our
permission. ”

“No!” I gasped.

“Don’t worry, ” he told me in a flat voice. “Carlisle would never agree to it. ” He hesitated, then sighed. “
Nor would I. Laurent had it coming ” — this was almost a growl — “and I still owe the wolves for that. ”

“This isn ’t good,” Jasper said. “It’s too even a fight. We ’d have the upper hand in skill, but not numbers.
We’d win, but at what price? ” His tense eyes flashed to Alice ’s face and away.

I wanted to scream out loud as I grasped what Jasper meant.

We would win, but we would lose. Some wouldn ’t survive.

I looked around the room at their faces — Jasper, Alice, Emmett, Rose, Esme, Carlisle . . . Edward —
the faces of my family.



14. DECLARATION

“YOU CAN’T BE SERIOUS, ” I SAID WEDNESDAY AFTERnoon. “You’ve completely lost your
mind! ”

“Say whatever you like about me, ” Alice answered. “The party is still on. ”

I stared at her, my eyes so wide with disbelief it felt like they might fall out and land on my lunch tray.

“Oh, calm down, Bella! There ’s no reason not to go through with it. Besides, the invitations are already
sent.”

“But . . . the . . . you . . . I . . . insane! ” I spluttered.

“You’ve already bought my present, ” she reminded me. “You don ’t have to do anything but show up. ”

I made an effort to calm myself. “With everything that is going on right now, a party is hardly appropriate.
”

“Graduation is what ’s going on right now, and a party is so appropriate it ’s almost passé. ”

“Alice! ”




She sighed, and tried to be serious. “There are a few things we need to get in order now, and that ’s going
to take a little time. As long as we ’re sitting here waiting, we might as well commemorate the good stuff.
You’re only going to graduate from high school — for the first time — once. You don ’t get to be human
again, Bella. This is a once-in-a-lifetime shot. ”

Edward, silent through our little argument, flashed her a warning look. She stuck out her tongue at him.
She was right — her soft voice would never carry over the babble of the cafeteria. And no one would
understand the meaning behind her words in any case.

“What few things do we need to get in order? ” I asked, refusing to be sidetracked.

Edward answered in a low voice. “Jasper thinks we could use some help. Tanya ’s family isn ’t the only
choice we have. Carlisle ’s trying to track down a few old friends, and Jasper is looking up Peter and
Charlotte. He ’s considering talking to Maria . . . but no one really wants to involve the southerners. ”

Alice shuddered delicately.

“It shouldn ’t be too hard to convince them to help, ” he continued. “Nobody wants a visit from Italy. ”

“But these friends — they ’re not going to be . . . vegetarians, right? ” I protested, using the Cullens ’
tongue-in-cheek nickname for themselves.

“No,” Edward answered, suddenly expressionless.

“Here? In Forks? ”

“They ’re friends, ” Alice reassured me. “Everything ’s going to be fine. Don ’t worry. And then, Jasper has
to teach us a few courses on newborn elimination. . . . ”

Edward’s eyes brightened at that, and a brief smile flashed across his face. My stomach suddenly felt like
it was full of sharp little splinters of ice.

“When are you going? ” I asked in a hollow voice. I couldn ’t stand this — the idea that someone might
not come back. What if it was Emmett, so brave and thoughtless that he was never the least bit cautious?
Or Esme, so sweet and motherly that I couldn ’t even imagine her in a fight? Or Alice, so tiny, so
fragile-looking? Or . . . but I couldn ’t even think the name, consider the possibility.

“A week,” Edward said casually. “That ought to give us enough time. ”

The icy splinters twisted uncomfortably in my stomach. I was suddenly nauseated.

“You look kind of green, Bella, ” Alice commented.

Edward put his arm around me and pulled me tightly against his side. “It’s going to be fine, Bella. Trust
me.”

Sure, I thought to myself. Trust him. He wasn ’t the one who was going to have to sit behind and wonder
whether or not the core of his existence was going to come home.

And then it occurred to me. Maybe I didn ’t need to sit behind. A week was more than enough time.

“You’re looking for help, ” I said slowly.

“Yes.” Alice ’s head cocked to the side as she processed the change in my tone.




I looked only at her as I answered. My voice was just slightly louder than a whisper. “I could help. ”

Edward’s body was suddenly rigid, his arm too tight around me. He exhaled, and the sound was a hiss.

But it was Alice, still calm, who answered. “That really wouldn ’t be helpful.”

“Why not? ” I argued; I could hear the desperation in my voice. “Eight is better than seven. There ’s more
than enough time. ”

“There ’s not enough time to make you helpful, Bella, ” she disagreed coolly. “Do you remember how
Jasper described the young ones? You ’d be no good in a fight. You wouldn ’t be able to control your
instincts, and that would make you an easy target. And then Edward would get hurt trying to protect you.
” She folded her arms across her chest, pleased with her unassailable logic.

And I knew she was right, when she put it like that. I slumped in my seat, my sudden hope defeated.
Beside me, Edward relaxed.

He whispered the reminder in my ear. “Not because you ’re afraid. ”

“Oh,” Alice said, and a blank look crossed her face. Then her expression became surly. “I hate
last-minute cancellations. So that puts the party attendance list down to sixty-five. . . . ”

“Sixty-five!” My eyes bulged again. I didn ’t have that many friends. Did I even know that many people?

“Who canceled? ” Edward wondered, ignoring me.

“Renée.”

“What?” I gasped.

“She was going to surprise you for your graduation, but something went wrong. You ’ll have a message
when you get home. ”

For a moment, I just let myself enjoy the relief. Whatever it was that went wrong for my mother, I was
eternally grateful to it. If she had come to Forks now . . . I didn ’t want to think about it. My head would
explode.

The message light was flashing when I got home. My feeling of relief flared again as I listened to my
mother describe Phil ’s accident on the ball field — while demonstrating a slide, he ’d tangled up with the
catcher and broken his thigh bone; he was entirely dependent on her, and there was no way she could
leave him. My mom was still apologizing when the message cut off.

“Well, that ’s one,” I sighed.

“One what? ” Edward asked.

“One person I don ’t have to worry about getting killed this week. ”

He rolled his eyes.

“Why won ’t you and Alice take this seriously? ” I demanded. “This is serious.”

He smiled. “Confidence. ”

“Wonderful, ” I grumbled. I picked up the phone and dialed Renée ’s number. I knew it would be a long




conversation, but I also knew that I wouldn ’t have to contribute much.

I just listened, and reassured her every time I could get a word in: I wasn ’t disappointed, I wasn ’t mad, I
wasn’t hurt. She should concentrate on helping Phil get better. I passed on my “get well soon ” to Phil,
and promised to call her with every single detail from Forks High ’s generic graduation. Finally, I had to
use my desperate need to study for finals to get off the phone.

Edward’s patience was endless. He waited politely through the whole conversation, just playing with my
hair and smiling whenever I looked up. It was probably superficial to notice such things while I had so
many more important things to think about, but his smile still knocked the breath out of me. He was so
beautiful that it made it hard sometimes to think about anything else, hard to concentrate on Phil ’s
troubles or Renée ’s apologies or hostile vampire armies. I was only human.

As soon as I hung up, I stretched onto my tiptoes to kiss him. He put his hands around my waist and
lifted me onto the kitchen counter, so I wouldn ’t have to reach as far. That worked for me. I locked my
arms around his neck and melted against his cold chest.

Too soon, as usual, he pulled away.

I felt my face slip into a pout. He laughed at my expression as he extricated himself from my arms and
legs. He leaned against the counter next to me and put one arm lightly around my shoulders.

“I know you think that I have some kind of perfect, unyielding self-control, but that ’s not actually the
case.”

“I wish, ” I sighed.

And he sighed, too.

“After school tomorrow, ” he said, changing the subject, “I’m going hunting with Carlisle, Esme, and
Rosalie. Just for a few hours — we’ll stay close. Alice, Jasper, and Emmett should be able to keep you
safe.”

“Ugh, ” I grumbled. Tomorrow was the first day of finals, and it was only a half-day. I had Calculus and
History — the only two challenges in my line-up — so I’d have almost the whole day without him, and
nothing to do but worry. “I hate being babysat. ”

“It’s temporary, ” he promised.

“Jasper will be bored. Emmett will make fun of me. ”

“They ’ll be on their best behavior. ”

“Right, ” I grumbled.

And then it occurred to me that I did have one option besides babysitters. “You know . . . I haven ’t been
to La Push since the bonfire. ”

I watched his face carefully for any change in expression. His eyes tightened the tiniest bit.

“I’d be safe enough there, ” I reminded him.

He thought about it for a few seconds. “You’re probably right. ”

His face was calm, but just a little too smooth. I almost asked if he ’d rather I stayed here, but then I




thought of the ribbing Emmett would no doubt dish out, and I changed the subject. “Are you thirsty
already? ” I asked, reaching up to stroke the light shadow beneath his eye. His irises were still a deep
gold.

“Not really. ” He seemed reluctant to answer, and that surprised me. I waited for an explanation.

“We want to be as strong as possible, ” he explained, still reluctant. “We’ll probably hunt again on the
way, looking for big game. ”

“That makes you stronger? ”

He searched my face for something, but there was nothing to find but curiosity.

“Yes,” he finally said. “Human blood makes us the strongest, though only fractionally. Jasper ’s been
thinking about cheating — adverse as he is to the idea, he ’s nothing if not practical — but he won ’t
suggest it. He knows what Carlisle will say. ”

“Would that help? ” I asked quietly.

“It doesn ’t matter. We aren ’t going to change who we are. ”

I frowned. If something helped even the odds . . . and then I shuddered, realizing I was willing to have a
stranger die to protect him. I was horrified at myself, but not entirely able to deny it, either.

He changed the subject again. “That ’s why they ’re so strong, of course. The newborns are full of human
blood — their own blood, reacting to the change. It lingers in the tissues and strengthens them. Their
bodies use it up slowly, like Jasper said, the strength starting to wane after about a year. ”

“How strong will I be?”

He grinned. “Stronger than I am. ”

“Stronger than Emmett? ”

The grin got bigger. “Yes. Do me a favor and challenge him to an arm-wrestling match. It would be a
good experience for him. ”

I laughed. It sounded so ridiculous.

Then I sighed and hopped down from the counter, because I really couldn ’t put it off any longer. I had to
cram, and cram hard. Luckily I had Edward ’s help, and Edward was an excellent tutor — since he knew
absolutely everything. I figured my biggest problem would be just focusing on the tests. If I didn ’t watch
myself, I might end up writing my History essay on the vampire wars of the South.

I took a break to call Jacob, and Edward seemed just as comfortable as he had when I was on the
phone with Renée. He played with my hair again.

Though it was the middle of the afternoon, my call woke Jacob up, and he was grouchy at first. He
cheered right up when I asked if I could visit the next day. The Quileute school was already out for the
summer, so he told me to come over as early as I could. I was pleased to have an option besides being
babysat. There was a tiny bit more dignity in spending the day with Jacob.

Some of that dignity was lost when Edward insisted again on delivering me to the border line like a child
being exchanged by custodial guardians.




“So how do you feel you did on your exams? ” Edward asked on the way, making small talk.

“History was easy, but I don ’t know about the Calculus. It seemed like it was making sense, so that
probably means I failed. ”

He laughed. “I’m sure you did fine. Or, if you ’re really worried, I could bribe Mr. Varner to give you an
A.”

“Er, thanks, but no thanks. ”

He laughed again, but suddenly stopped when we turned the last bend and saw the red car waiting. He
frowned in concentration, and then, as he parked the car, he sighed.

“What’s wrong? ” I asked, my hand on the door.

He shook his head. “Nothing. ” His eyes were narrowed as he stared through the windshield toward the
other car. I ’d seen that look before.

“You’re not listening to Jacob, are you? ” I accused.

“It’s not easy to ignore someone when he ’s shouting. ”

“Oh.” I thought about that for a second. “What’s he shouting? ” I whispered.

“I’m absolutely certain he ’ll mention it himself, ” Edward said in a wry tone.

I would have pressed the issue, but then Jacob honked his horn — two quick impatient honks.

“That ’s impolite, ” Edward growled.

“That ’s Jacob,” I sighed, and I hurried out before Jacob did something to really set Edward ’s teeth on
edge.

I waved to Edward before I got into the Rabbit and, from that distance, it looked like he was truly upset
about the honking thing . . . or whatever Jacob was thinking about. But my eyes were weak and made
mistakes all the time.

I wanted Edward to come to me. I wanted to make both of them get out of their cars and shake hands
and be friends — be Edward and Jacob rather than vampire and werewolf. It was as if I had those two
stubborn magnets in my hands again, and I was holding them together, trying to force nature to reverse
herself. . . .

I sighed, and climbed in Jacob ’s car.

“Hey, Bells. ” Jake’s tone was cheerful, but his voice dragged. I examined his face as he started down the
road, driving a little faster than I did, but slower than Edward, on his way back to La Push.

Jacob looked different, maybe even sick. His eyelids drooped and his face was drawn. His shaggy hair
stuck out in random directions; it was almost to his chin in some places.

“Are you all right, Jake? ”

“Just tired, ” he managed to get out before he was overcome by a massive yawn. When he finished, he
asked, “What do you want to do today? ”




I eyed him for a moment. “Let’s just hang out at your place for now, ” I suggested. He didn ’t look like he
was up for much more than that. “We can ride our bikes later. ”

“Sure, sure, ” he said, yawning again.

Jacob’s house was vacant, and that felt strange. I realized I thought of Billy as a nearly permanent fixture
there.

“Where’s your dad? ”

“Over at the Clearwaters ’. He’s been hanging out there a lot since Harry died. Sue gets lonely. ”

Jacob sat down on the old couch that was no bigger than a loveseat and squished himself to the side to
make room for me.

“Oh. That ’s nice. Poor Sue. ”

“Yeah . . . she ’s having some trouble. . . . ” He hesitated. “With her kids. ”

“Sure, it ’s got to be hard on Seth and Leah, losing their dad. . . . ”

“Uh-huh, ” he agreed, lost in thought. He picked up the remote and flipped on the TV without seeming to
think about it. He yawned.

“What’s with you, Jake? You ’re like a zombie. ”

“I got about two hours of sleep last night, and four the night before, ” he told me. He stretched his long
arms slowly, and I could hear the joints crack as he flexed. He settled his left arm along the back of the
sofa behind me, and slumped back to rest his head against the wall. “I’m exhausted. ”

“Why aren ’t you sleeping? ” I asked.

He made a face. “Sam’s being difficult. He doesn ’t trust your bloodsuckers. I ’ve been running double
shifts for two weeks and nobody ’s touched me yet, but he still doesn ’t buy it. So I ’m on my own for
now.”

“Double shifts? Is this because you ’re trying to watch out for me? Jake, that ’s wrong! You need to
sleep. I ’ll be fine. ”

“It’s no big deal. ” His eyes were abruptly more alert. “Hey, did you ever find out who was in your room?
Is there anything new? ”

I ignored the second question. “No, we didn ’t find anything out about my, um, visitor. ”

“Then I ’ll be around, ” he said as his eyes slid closed.

“Jake . . . ,” I started to whine.

“Hey, it ’s the least I can do — I offered eternal servitude, remember. I ’m your slave for life. ”

“I don’t want a slave! ”

His eyes didn ’t open. “What do you want, Bella? ”

“I want my friend Jacob — and I don ’t want him half-dead, hurting himself in some misguided attempt
—”




He cut me off. “Look at it this way — I’m hoping I can track down a vampire I ’m allowed to kill, okay? ”

I didn ’t answer. He looked at me then, peeking at my reaction.

“Kidding, Bella. ”

I stared at the TV.

“So, any special plans next week? You ’re graduating. Wow. That ’s big. ” His voice turned flat, and his
face, already drawn, looked downright haggard as his eyes closed again — not in exhaustion this time,
but in denial. I realized that graduation still had a horrible significance for him, though my intentions were
now disrupted.

“No special plans, ” I said carefully, hoping he would hear the reassurance in my words without a more
detailed explanation. I didn ’t want to get into it now. For one thing, he didn ’t look up for any difficult
conversations. For another, I knew he would read too much into my qualms. “Well, I do have to go to a
graduation party. Mine. ” I made a disgusted sound. “Alice loves parties, and she ’s invited the whole
town to her place the night of. It ’s going to be horrible. ”

His eyes opened as I spoke, and a relieved smile made his face look less worn. “I didn ’t get an invitation.
I’m hurt, ” he teased.

“Consider yourself invited. It ’s supposedly my party, so I should be able to ask who I want. ”

“Thanks, ” he said sarcastically, his eyes slipping closed once more.

“I wish you would come, ” I said without any hope. “It would be more fun. For me, I mean. ”

“Sure, sure, ” he mumbled. “That would be very . . . wise . . . ” His voice trailed off.

A few seconds later, he was snoring.

Poor Jacob. I studied his dreaming face, and liked what I saw. While he slept, every trace of
defensiveness and bitterness disappeared and suddenly he was the boy who had been my very best
friend before all the werewolf nonsense had gotten in the way. He looked so much younger. He looked
like my Jacob.

I nestled into the couch to wait out his nap, hoping he would sleep for a while and make up some of what
he’d lost. I flipped through channels, but there wasn ’t much on. I settled for a cooking show, knowing, as
I watched, that I ’d never put that much effort into Charlie ’s dinner. Jacob continued to snore, getting
louder. I turned up the TV.

I was strangely relaxed, almost sleepy, too. This house felt safer than my own, probably because no one
had ever come looking for me here. I curled up on the sofa and thought about taking a nap myself.
Maybe I would have, but Jacob ’s snoring was impossible to tune out. So, instead of sleeping, I let my
mind wander.

Finals were done, and most of them had been a cakewalk. Calculus, the one exception, was behind me,
pass or fail. My high school education was over. And I didn ’t really know how I felt about that. I couldn ’
t look at it objectively, tied up as it was with my human life being over.

I wondered how long Edward planned to use this “not because you ’re scared” excuse. I was going to
have to put my foot down sometime.




If I were thinking practically, I knew it made more sense to ask Carlisle to change me the second I made
it through the graduation line. Forks was becoming nearly as dangerous as a war zone. No, Forks was a
war zone. Not to mention . . . it would be a good excuse to miss the graduation party. I smiled to myself
as I thought of that most trivial of reasons for changing. Silly . . . yet still compelling.

But Edward was right — I wasn ’t quite ready yet.

And I didn ’t want to be practical. I wanted Edward to be the one. It wasn ’t a rational desire. I was sure
that — about two seconds after someone actually bit me and the venom started burning through my
veins — I really wouldn ’t care anymore who had done it. So it shouldn ’t make a difference.

It was hard to define, even to myself, why it mattered. There was just something about him being the one
to make the choice — to want to keep me enough that he wouldn ’t just allow me to be changed, he
would act to keep me. It was childish, but I liked the idea that his lips would be the last good thing I
would feel. Even more embarrassingly, something I would never say aloud, I wanted his venom to poison
my system. It would make me belong to him in a tangible, quantifiable way.

But I knew he was going to stick to his marriage scheme like glue — because a delay was what he was
clearly after and it was working so far. I tried to imagine telling my parents that I was getting married this
summer. Telling Angela and Ben and Mike. I couldn ’t. I couldn ’t think of the words to say. It would be
easier to tell them I was becoming a vampire. And I was sure that at least my mother — were I to tell her
every detail of the truth — would be more strenuously opposed to me getting married than to me a
becoming vampire. I grimaced to myself as I imagined her horrified expression.

Then, for just a second, I saw that same odd vision of Edward and me on a porch swing, wearing clothes
from another kind of world. A world where it would surprise no one if I wore his ring on my finger. A
simpler place, where love was defined in simpler ways. One plus one equals two. . . .

Jacob snorted and rolled to his side. His arm swung off the back of the couch and pinned me against his
body.

Holy crow, but he was heavy! And hot. It was sweltering after just a few seconds.

I tried to slide out from under his arm without waking him, but I had to shove a little bit, and when his arm
fell off me, his eyes snapped open. He jumped to his feet, looking around anxiously.

“What? What? ” he asked, disoriented.

“It’s just me, Jake. Sorry I woke you. ”

He turned to look at me, blinking and confused. “Bella? ”

“Hey, sleepy. ”

“Oh, man! Did I fall asleep? I ’m sorry! How long was I out? ”

“A few Emerils. I lost count. ”

He flopped back on the couch next to me. “Wow. Sorry about that, really. ”

I patted his hair, trying to smooth the wild disarray. “Don’t feel bad. I ’m glad you got some sleep. ”

He yawned and stretched. “I’m useless these days. No wonder Billy ’s always gone. I ’m so boring. ”

“You’re fine, ” I assured him.




“Ugh, let ’s go outside. I need to walk around or I ’ll pass out again. ”

“Jake, go back to sleep. I ’m good. I ’ll call Edward to come pick me up. ” I patted my pockets as I
spoke, and realized they were empty. “Shoot, I’ll have to borrow your phone. I think I must have left his
in the car. ” I started to unfold myself.

“No!” Jacob insisted, grabbing my hand. “No, stay. You hardly ever make it down. I can ’t believe I
wasted all this time. ”

He pulled me off the couch as he spoke, and then led the way outside, ducking his head as he passed
under the doorframe. It had gotten much cooler while Jacob slept; the air was unseasonably cold —
there must be a storm on the way. It felt like February, not May.

The wintry air seemed to make Jacob more alert. He paced back and forth in front of the house for a
minute, dragging me along with him.

“I’m an idiot, ” he muttered to himself.

“What’s the matter, Jake? So you fell asleep. ” I shrugged.

“I wanted to talk to you. I can ’t believe this. ”

“Talk to me now, ” I said.

Jacob met my eyes for a second, and then looked away quickly toward the trees. It almost looked like
he was blushing, but it was hard to tell with his dark skin.

I suddenly remembered what Edward had said when he dropped me off — that Jacob would tell me
whatever he was shouting in his head. I started gnawing on my lip.

“Look,” Jacob said. “I was planning to do this a little bit differently. ” He laughed, and it sounded like he
was laughing at himself. “Smoother, ” he added. “I was going to work up to it, but ” — and he looked at
the clouds, dimmer as the afternoon progressed — “I’m out of time to work. ”

He laughed again, nervous. We were still pacing slowly.

“What are you talking about? ” I demanded.

He took a deep breath. “I want to tell you something. And you already know it . . . but I think I should
say it out loud anyway. Just so there ’s never any confusion on the subject. ”

I planted my feet, and he came to a stop. I took my hand away and folded my arms across my chest. I
was suddenly sure that I didn ’t want to know what he was building up to.

Jacob’s eyebrows pulled down, throwing his deep-set eyes into shadow. They were pitch black as they
bored into mine.

“I’m in love with you, Bella, ” Jacob said in a strong, sure voice. “Bella, I love you. And I want you to
pick me instead of him. I know you don ’t feel that way, but I need the truth out there so that you know
your options. I wouldn ’t want a miscommunication to stand in our way. ”




15. WAGER

I STARED AT HIM FOR A LONG MINUTE, SPEECHLESS. I could not think of one thing to say to
him.

As he watched my dumbfounded expression, the seriousness left his face.

“Okay,” he said, grinning. “That ’s all. ”

“Jake —” It felt like there was something big sticking in my throat. I tried to clear the obstruction. “I can’t
— I mean I don ’t . . . I have to go. ”

I turned, but he grabbed my shoulders and spun me around.

“No, wait. I know that, Bella. But, look, answer me this, all right? Do you want me to go away and
never see you again? Be honest. ”

It was hard to concentrate on his question, so it took a minute to answer. “No, I don’t want that, ” I
finally admitted.

Jacob grinned again. “See.”

“But I don ’t want you around for the same reason that you want me around, ” I objected.

“Tell me exactly why you want me around, then. ”

I thought carefully. “I miss you when you ’re not there. When you ’re happy, ” I qualified carefully, “it
makes me happy. But I could say the same thing about Charlie, Jacob. You ’re family. I love you, but I ’m
not in love with you. ”

He nodded, unruffled. “But you do want me around. ”

“Yes.” I sighed. He was impossible to discourage.

“Then I ’ll stick around. ”

“You’re a glutton for punishment, ” I grumbled.

“Yep.” He stroked the tips of his fingers across my right cheek. I slapped his hand away.

“Do you think you could behave yourself a little better, at least? ” I asked, irritated.

“No, I don’t. You decide, Bella. You can have me the way I am — bad behavior included — or not at
all. ”

I stared at him, frustrated. “That ’s mean. ”

“So are you. ”

That pulled me up short, and I took an involuntary step back. He was right. If I wasn ’t mean — and
greedy, too — I would tell him I didn ’t want to be friends and walk away. It was wrong to try to keep
my friend when that would hurt him. I didn ’t know what I was doing here, but I was suddenly sure that it
wasn’t good.

“You’re right, ” I whispered.




He laughed. “I forgive you. Just try not to get too mad at me. Because I recently decided that I ’m not
giving up. There really is something irresistible about a lost cause. ”

“Jacob.” I stared into his dark eyes, trying to make him take me seriously. “I love him, Jacob. He’s my
whole life. ”

“You love me, too, ” he reminded me. He held up his hand when I started to protest. “Not the same way,
I know. But he ’s not your whole life, either. Not anymore. Maybe he was once, but he left. And now he ’
s just going to have to deal with the consequence of that choice — me.”

I shook my head. “You’re impossible. ”

Suddenly, he was serious. He took my chin in his hand, holding it firmly so that I couldn ’t look away from
his intent gaze.

“Until your heart stops beating, Bella, ” he said. “I’ll be here — fighting. Don ’t forget that you have
options. ”

“I don’t want options, ” I disagreed, trying to yank my chin free unsuccessfully. “And my heartbeats are
numbered, Jacob. The time is almost gone. ”

His eyes narrowed. “All the more reason to fight — fight harder now, while I can, ” he whispered.

He still had my chin — his fingers holding too tight, till it hurt — and I saw the resolve form abruptly in his
eyes.

“N —” I started to object, but it was too late.

His lips crushed mine, stopping my protest. He kissed me angrily, roughly, his other hand gripping tight
around the back of my neck, making escape impossible. I shoved against his chest with all my strength,
but he didn ’t even seem to notice. His mouth was soft, despite the anger, his lips molding to mine in a
warm, unfamiliar way.

I grabbed at his face, trying to push it away, failing again. He seemed to notice this time, though, and it
aggravated him. His lips forced mine open, and I could feel his hot breath in my mouth.

Acting on instinct, I let my hands drop to my side, and shut down. I opened my eyes and didn ’t fight,
didn ’t feel . . . just waited for him to stop.

It worked. The anger seemed to evaporate, and he pulled back to look at me. He pressed his lips softly
to mine again, once, twice . . . a third time. I pretended I was a statue and waited.

Finally, he let go of my face and leaned away.

“Are you done now? ” I asked in an expressionless voice.

“Yes,” he sighed. He started to smile, closing his eyes.

I pulled my arm back and then let it snap forward, punching him in the mouth with as much power as I
could force out of my body.

There was a crunching sound.

“Ow! OW! ” I screamed, frantically hopping up and down in agony while I clutched my hand to my chest.
It was broken, I could feel it.




Jacob stared at me in shock. “Are you all right? ”

“No, dammit! You broke my hand!”

“Bella, you broke your hand. Now stop dancing around and let me look at it. ”

“Don’t touch me! I ’m going home right now! ”

“I’ll get my car, ” he said calmly. He wasn ’t even rubbing his jaw like they did in the movies. How
pathetic.

“No, thanks, ” I hissed. “I’d rather walk. ” I turned toward the road. It was only a few miles to the border.
As soon as I got away from him, Alice would see me. She ’d send somebody to pick me up.

“Just let me drive you home, ” Jacob insisted. Unbelievably, he had the nerve to wrap his arm around my
waist.

I jerked away from him.

“Fine! ” I growled. “Do! I can’t wait to see what Edward does to you! I hope he snaps your neck, you
pushy, obnoxious, moronic DOG! ”

Jacob rolled his eyes. He walked me to the passenger side of his car and helped me in. When he got in
the driver ’s side, he was whistling.

“Didn ’t I hurt you at all? ” I asked, furious and annoyed.

“Are you kidding? If you hadn ’t started screaming, I might not have figured out that you were trying to
punch me. I may not be made out of stone, but I ’m not that soft.”

“I hate you, Jacob Black. ”

“That ’s good. Hate is a passionate emotion. ”

“I’ll give you passionate, ” I muttered under my breath. “Murder, the ultimate crime of passion. ”

“Oh, c’mon, ” he said, all cheery and looking like he was about to start whistling again. “That had to be
better than kissing a rock. ”

“Not even remotely close, ” I told him coldly.

He pursed his lips. “You could just be saying that. ”

“But I ’m not. ”

That seemed to bother him for a second, but then he perked up. “You’re just mad. I don ’t have any
experience with this kind of thing, but I thought it was pretty incredible myself. ”

“Ugh, ” I groaned.

“You’re going to think about it tonight. When he thinks you ’re asleep, you ’ll be thinking about your
options. ”

“If I think about you tonight, it will be because I ’m having a nightmare.”

He slowed the car to a crawl, turning to stare at me with his dark eyes wide and earnest. “Just think




about how it could be, Bella, ” he urged in a soft, eager voice. “You wouldn ’t have to change anything for
me. You know Charlie would be happy if you picked me. I could protect you just as well as your
vampire can — maybe better. And I would make you happy, Bella. There ’s so much I could give you
that he can ’t. I’ll bet he couldn ’t even kiss you like that — because he would hurt you. I would never,
never hurt you, Bella. ”

I held up my injured hand.

He sighed. “That wasn ’t my fault. You should have known better. ”

“Jacob, I can’t be happy without him. ”

“You’ve never tried, ” he disagreed. “When he left, you spent all your energy holding on to him. You
could be happy if you let go. You could be happy with me. ”

“I don’t want to be happy with anyone but him, ” I insisted.

“You’ll never be able to be as sure of him as you are of me. He left you once, he could do it again. ”

“No, he will not, ” I said through my teeth. The pain of the memory bit into me like the lash of a whip. It
made me want to hurt him back. “You left me once, ” I reminded him in a cold voice, thinking of the
weeks he ’d hidden from me, the words he ’d said to me in the woods beside his home. . . .

“I never did, ” he argued hotly. “They told me I couldn ’t tell you — that it wasn ’t safe for you if we were
together. But I never left, never! I used to run around your house at night — like I do now. Just making
sure you were okay. ”

I wasn ’t about to let him make me feel bad for him now.

“Take me home. My hand hurts. ”

He sighed, and started driving at a normal speed, watching the road.

“Just think about it, Bella. ”

“No,” I said stubbornly.

“You will. Tonight. And I ’ll be thinking about you while you ’re thinking about me. ”

“Like I said, a nightmare. ”

He grinned over at me. “You kissed me back. ”

I gasped, unthinkingly balling my hands up into fists again, hissing when my broken hand reacted.

“Are you okay? ” he asked.

“I did not.”

“I think I can tell the difference. ”

“Obviously you can ’t — that was not kissing back, that was trying to get you the hell off of me, you
idiot.”

He laughed a low, throaty laugh. “Touchy. Almost overly defensive, I would say. ”




I took a deep breath. There was no point in arguing with him; he would twist anything I said. I
concentrated on my hand, trying to stretch out my fingers, to ascertain where the broken parts were.
Sharp pains stabbed along my knuckles. I groaned.

“I’m really sorry about your hand, ” Jacob said, sounding almost sincere. “Next time you want to hit me,
use a baseball bat or a crowbar, okay? ”

“Don’t think I ’ll forget that, ” I muttered.

I didn ’t realize where we were going until we were on my road.

“Why are you taking me here? ” I demanded.

He looked at me blankly. “I thought you said you were going home? ”

“Ugh. I guess you can ’t take me to Edward ’s house, can you? ” I ground my teeth in frustration.

Pain twisted across his face, and I could see that this affected him more than anything else I ’d said.

“This is your home, Bella, ” he said quietly.

“Yes, but do any doctors live here? ” I asked, holding up my hand again.

“Oh.” He thought about that for a minute. “I’ll take you to the hospital. Or Charlie can. ”

“I don’t want to go to the hospital. It ’s embarrassing and unnecessary. ”

He let the Rabbit idle in front of the house, deliberating with an unsure expression. Charlie ’s cruiser was
in the driveway.

I sighed. “Go home, Jacob. ”

I climbed out of the car awkwardly, heading for the house. The engine cut off behind me, and I was less
surprised than annoyed to find Jacob beside me again.

“What are you going to do? ” he asked.

“I am going to get some ice on my hand, and then I am going to call Edward and tell him to come and get
me and take me to Carlisle so that he can fix my hand. Then, if you ’re still here, I am going to go hunt up
a crowbar.”

He didn ’t answer. He opened the front door and held it for me.

We walked silently past the front room where Charlie was lying on the sofa.

“Hey, kids, ” he said, sitting forward. “Nice to see you here, Jake.”

“Hey, Charlie, ” Jacob answered casually, pausing. I stalked on to the kitchen.

“What’s wrong with her? ” Charlie wondered.

“She thinks she broke her hand, ” I heard Jacob tell him. I went to the freezer and pulled out a tray of ice
cubes.

“How did she do that? ” As my father, I thought Charlie ought to sound a bit less amused and a bit more
concerned.




Jacob laughed. “She hit me. ”

Charlie laughed, too, and I scowled while I beat the tray against the edge of the sink. The ice scattered
inside the basin, and I grabbed a handful with my good hand and wrapped the cubes in the dishcloth on
the counter.

“Why did she hit you? ”

“Because I kissed her, ” Jacob said, unashamed.

“Good for you, kid, ” Charlie congratulated him.

I ground my teeth and went for the phone. I dialed Edward ’s cell.

“Bella? ” he answered on the first ring. He sounded more than relieved — he was delighted. I could hear
the Volvo ’s engine in the background; he was already in the car — that was good. “You left the phone . .
. I’m sorry, did Jacob drive you home? ”

“Yes,” I grumbled. “Will you come and get me, please? ”

“I’m on my way, ” he said at once. “What’s wrong? ”

“I want Carlisle to look at my hand. I think it ’s broken.”

It had gone quiet in the front room, and I wondered when Jacob would bolt. I smiled a grim smile,
imagining his discomfort.

“What happened? ” Edward demanded, his voice going flat.

“I punched Jacob, ” I admitted.

“Good,” Edward said bleakly. “Though I ’m sorry you ’re hurt. ”

I laughed once, because he sounded as pleased as Charlie had.

“I wish I ’d hurt him.” I sighed in frustration. “I didn ’t do any damage at all. ”

“I can fix that, ” he offered.

“I was hoping you would say that. ”

There was a slight pause. “That doesn ’t sound like you, ” he said, wary now. “What did he do?”

“He kissed me, ” I growled.

All I heard on the other end of the line was the sound of an engine accelerating.

In the other room, Charlie spoke again. “Maybe you ought to take off, Jake, ” he suggested.

“I think I ’ll hang out here, if you don ’t mind. ”

“Your funeral, ” Charlie muttered.

“Is the dog still there? ” Edward finally spoke again.

“Yes.”




“I’m around the corner, ” he said darkly, and the line disconnected.

As I hung up the phone, smiling, I heard the sound of his car racing down the street. The brakes
protested loudly as he slammed to a stop out front. I went to get the door.

“How’s your hand? ” Charlie asked as I walked by. Charlie looked uncomfortable. Jacob lolled next to
him on the sofa, perfectly at ease.

I lifted the ice pack to show it off. “It’s swelling. ”

“Maybe you should pick on people your own size, ” Charlie suggested.

“Maybe,” I agreed. I walked on to open the door. Edward was waiting.

“Let me see, ” he murmured.

He examined my hand gently, so carefully that it caused me no pain at all. His hands were almost as cold
as the ice, and they felt good against my skin.

“I think you ’re right about the break, ” he said. “I’m proud of you. You must have put some force behind
this. ”

“As much as I have. ” I sighed. “Not enough, apparently. ”

He kissed my hand softly. “I’ll take care of it, ” he promised. And then he called, “Jacob,” his voice still
quiet and even.

“Now, now,” Charlie cautioned.

I heard Charlie heave himself off of the sofa. Jacob got to the hall first, and much more quietly, but
Charlie was not far behind him. Jacob ’s expression was alert and eager.

“I don’t want any fighting, do you understand? ” Charlie looked only at Edward when he spoke. “I can go
put my badge on if that makes my request more official. ”

“That won ’t be necessary, ” Edward said in a restrained tone.

“Why don ’t you arrest me, Dad? ” I suggested. “I’m the one throwing punches. ”

Charlie raised an eyebrow. “Do you want to press charges, Jake? ”

“No.” Jacob grinned, incorrigible. “I’ll take the trade any day. ”

Edward grimaced.

“Dad, don’t you have a baseball bat somewhere in your room? I want to borrow it for a minute. ”

Charlie looked at me evenly. “Enough, Bella. ”

“Let’s go have Carlisle look at your hand before you wind up in a jail cell, ” Edward said. He put his arm
around me and pulled me toward the door.

“Fine, ” I said, leaning against him. I wasn ’t so angry anymore, now that Edward was with me. I felt
comforted, and my hand didn ’t bother me as much.

We were walking down the sidewalk when I heard Charlie whispering anxiously behind me.




“What are you doing? Are you crazy? ”

“Give me a minute, Charlie, ” Jacob answered. “Don’t worry, I ’ll be right back. ”

I looked back and Jacob was following us, stopping to close the door in Charlie ’s surprised and uneasy
face.

Edward ignored him at first, leading me to the car. He helped me inside, shut the door, and then turned to
face Jacob on the sidewalk.

I leaned anxiously through the open window. Charlie was visible in the house, peeking through the drapes
in the front room.

Jacob’s stance was casual, his arms folded across his chest, but the muscles in his jaw were tight.

Edward spoke in a voice so peaceful and gentle that it made the words strangely more threatening. “I’m
not going to kill you now, because it would upset Bella. ”

“Hmph, ” I grumbled.

Edward turned slightly to throw me a quick smile. His face was still calm. “It would bother you in the
morning, ” he said, brushing his fingers across my cheek.

Then he turned back to Jacob. “But if you ever bring her back damaged again — and I don ’t care whose
fault it is; I don ’t care if she merely trips, or if a meteor falls out of the sky and hits her in the head — if
you return her to me in less than the perfect condition that I left her in, you will be running with three legs.
Do you understand that, mongrel? ”

Jacob rolled his eyes.

“Who’s going back? ” I muttered.

Edward continued as if he hadn ’t heard me. “And if you ever kiss her again, I will break your jaw for
her,” he promised, his voice still gentle and velvet and deadly.

“What if she wants me to? ” Jacob drawled, arrogant.

“Hah!” I snorted.

“If that ’s what she wants, then I won ’t object.” Edward shrugged, untroubled. “You might want to wait
for her to say it, rather than trust your interpretation of body language — but it ’s your face. ”

Jacob grinned.

“You wish, ” I grumbled.

“Yes, he does, ” Edward murmured.

“Well, if you ’re done rummaging through my head, ” Jacob said with a thick edge of annoyance, “why
don’t you go take care of her hand? ”

“One more thing, ” Edward said slowly. “I’ll be fighting for her, too. You should know that. I ’m not taking
anything for granted, and I ’ll be fighting twice as hard as you will. ”

“Good,” Jacob growled. “It’s no fun beating someone who forfeits. ”




“She is mine. ” Edward’s low voice was suddenly dark, not as composed as before. “I didn ’t say I would
fight fair. ”

“Neither did I. ”

“Best of luck. ”

Jacob nodded. “Yes, may the best man win. ”

“That sounds about right . . . pup. ”

Jacob grimaced briefly, then he composed his face and leaned around Edward to smile at me. I glowered
back.

“I hope your hand feels better soon. I ’m really sorry you ’re hurt. ”

Childishly, I turned my face away from him.

I didn ’t look up again as Edward walked around the car and climbed into the driver ’s side, so I didn ’t
know if Jacob went back into the house or continued to stand there, watching me.

“How do you feel? ” Edward asked as we drove away.

“Irritated. ”

He chuckled. “I meant your hand. ”

I shrugged. “I’ve had worse. ”

“True, ” he agreed, and frowned.

Edward drove around the house to the garage. Emmett and Rosalie were there, Rosalie ’s perfect legs,
recognizable even sheathed in jeans, were sticking out from under the bottom of Emmett ’s huge Jeep.
Emmett was sitting beside her, one hand reached under the Jeep toward her. It took me a moment to
realize that he was acting as the jack.

Emmett watched curiously as Edward helped me carefully out of the car. His eyes zeroed in on the hand
I cradled against my chest.

Emmett grinned. “Fall down again, Bella? ”

I glared at him fiercely. “No, Emmett. I punched a werewolf in the face. ”

Emmett blinked, and then burst into a roar of laughter.

As Edward led me past them, Rosalie spoke from under the car.

“Jasper’s going to win the bet, ” she said smugly.

Emmett ’s laughter stopped at once, and he studied me with appraising eyes.

“What bet? ” I demanded, pausing.

“Let’s get you to Carlisle, ” Edward urged. He was staring at Emmett. His head shook infinitesimally.

“What bet?” I insisted as I turned on him.




“Thanks, Rosalie, ” he muttered as he tightened his arm around my waist and pulled me toward the house.

“Edward . . . ,” I grumbled.

“It’s infantile, ” he shrugged. “Emmett and Jasper like to gamble. ”

“Emmett will tell me. ” I tried to turn, but his arm was like iron around me.

He sighed. “They ’re betting on how many times you . . . slip up in the first year. ”

“Oh.” I grimaced, trying to hide my sudden horror as I realized what he meant. “They have a bet about
how many people I ’ll kill? ”

“Yes,” he admitted unwillingly. “Rosalie thinks your temper will turn the odds in Jasper ’s favor. ”

I felt a little high. “Jasper’s betting high. ”

“It will make him feel better if you have a hard time adjusting. He ’s tired of being the weakest link. ”

“Sure. Of course it will. I guess I could throw in a few extra homicides, if it makes Jasper happy. Why
not?” I was babbling, my voice a blank monotone. In my head, I was seeing newspaper headlines, lists of
names.
He squeezed me. “You don ’t need to worry about it now. In fact, you don ’t have to worry about it ever,
if you don ’t want to. ”

I groaned, and Edward, thinking it was the pain in my hand that bothered me, pulled me faster toward the
house.

My hand was broken, but there wasn ’t any serious damage, just a tiny fissure in one knuckle. I didn ’t
want a cast, and Carlisle said I ’d be fine in a brace if I promised to keep it on. I promised.

Edward could tell I was out of it as Carlisle worked to fit a brace carefully to my hand. He worried aloud
a few times that I was in pain, but I assured him that that wasn ’t it.

As if I needed — or even had room for — one more thing to worry about.

All of Jasper ’s stories about newly created vampires had been percolating in my head since he ’d
explained his past. Now those stories jumped into sharp focus with the news of his and Emmett ’s wager.
I wondered randomly what they were betting. What was a motivating prize when you had everything?

I’d always known that I would be different. I hoped that I would be as strong as Edward said I would
be. Strong and fast and, most of all, beautiful. Someone who could stand next to Edward and feel like
she belonged there.

I’d been trying not to think too much about the other things that I would be. Wild. Bloodthirsty. Maybe I
would not be able to stop myself from killing people. Strangers, people who had never harmed me.
People like the growing number of victims in Seattle, who ’d had families and friends and futures. People
who’d had lives. And I could be the monster who took that away from them.

But, in truth, I could handle that part — because I trusted Edward, trusted him absolutely, to keep me
from doing anything I would regret. I knew he ’d take me to Antarctica and hunt penguins if I asked him
to. And I would do whatever it took to be a good person. A good vampire. That thought would have
made me giggle, if not for this new worry.




Because, if I really were somehow like that — like the nightmarish images of newborns that Jasper had
painted in my head — could I possibly be me? And if all I wanted was to kill people, what would
happen to the things I wanted now?

Edward was so obsessed with me not missing anything while I was human. Usually, it seemed kind of
silly. There weren ’t many human experiences that I worried about missing. As long as I got to be with
Edward, what else could I ask for?

I stared at his face while he watched Carlisle fix my hand. There was nothing in this world that I wanted
more than him. Would that, could that, change?

Was there a human experience that I was not willing to give up?



16. EPOCH

“I HAVE NOTHING TO WEAR! ” I MOANED TO MYSELF.

Every item of clothing I owned was strewn across my bed; my drawers and closets were bare. I stared
into the empty recesses, willing something suitable to appear.

My khaki skirt lay over the back of the rocking chair, waiting for me to discover something that went
with it just exactly right. Something that would make me look beautiful and grown up. Something that
said special occasion. I was coming up empty.

It was almost time to go, and I was still wearing my favorite old sweats. Unless I could find something
better here — and the odds weren ’t looking good at this point — I was going to graduate in them.

I scowled at the pile of clothes on my bed.

The kicker was that I knew exactly what I would have worn if it were still available — my kidnapped red
blouse. I punched the wall with my good hand.

“Stupid, thieving, annoying vampire! ” I growled.

“What did I do? ” Alice demanded.

She was leaning casually beside the open window as if she ’d been there the whole time.

“Knock, knock,” she added with a grin.

“Is it really so hard to wait for me to get the door? ”

She threw a flat, white box onto my bed. “I’m just passing through. I thought you might need something
to wear.”

I looked at the big package lying on top of my unsatisfying wardrobe and grimaced.

“Admit it, ” Alice said. “I’m a lifesaver. ”

“You’re a lifesaver, ” I muttered. “Thanks. ”

“Well, it ’s nice to get something right for a change. You don ’t know how irritating it is — missing things




the way I have been. I feel so useless. So . . . normal. ” She cringed in horror of the word.

“I can’t imagine how awful that must feel. Being normal? Ugh. ”

She laughed. “Well, at least this makes up for missing your annoying thief — now I just have to figure out
what I ’m not seeing in Seattle. ”

When she said the words that way — putting the two situations together in one sentence — right then it
clicked. The elusive something that had been bothering me for days, the important connection that I
couldn ’t quite put together, suddenly became clear. I stared at her, my face frozen with whatever
expression was already in place.

“Aren’t you going to open it? ” she asked. She sighed when I didn ’t move immediately, and tugged the
top of the box off herself. She pulled something out and held it up, but I couldn ’t concentrate on what it
was. “Pretty, don ’t you think? I picked blue, because I know it ’s Edward’s favorite on you. ”

I wasn ’t listening.

“It’s the same, ” I whispered.

“What is? ” she demanded. “You don ’t have anything like this. For crying out loud, you only own one
skirt! ”

“No, Alice! Forget the clothes, listen! ”

“You don ’t like it? ” Alice ’s face clouded with disappointment.

“Listen, Alice, don ’t you see? It ’s the same! The one who broke in and stole my things, and the new
vampires in Seattle. They ’re together! ”

The clothes slipped from her fingers and fell back into the box.

Alice focused now, her voice suddenly sharp. “Why do you think that? ”

“Remember what Edward said? About someone using the holes in your vision to keep you from seeing
the newborns? And then what you said before, about the timing being too perfect — how careful my thief
was to make no contact, as if he knew you would see that. I think you were right, Alice, I think he did
know. I think he was using those holes, too. And what are the odds that two different people not only
know enough about you to do that, but also decided to do it at exactly the same time? No way. It ’s one
person. The same one. The one who is making the army is the one who stole my scent. ”

Alice wasn ’t accustomed to being taking by surprise. She froze, and was still for so long that I started
counting in my head as I waited. She didn ’t move for two minutes straight. Then her eyes refocused on
me.

“You’re right, ” she said in a hollow tone. “Of course you ’re right. And when you put it that way. . . . ”

“Edward had it wrong, ” I whispered. “It was a test . . . to see if it would work. If he could get in and out
safely as long as he didn ’t do anything you would be watching out for. Like trying to kill me. . . . And he
didn ’t take my things to prove he ’d found me. He stole my scent . . . so that others could find me. ”

Her eyes were wide with shock. I was right, and I could see that she knew it, too.

“Oh, no,” she mouthed.




I was through expecting my emotions to make sense anymore. As I processed the fact that someone had
created an army of vampires — the army that had gruesomely murdered dozens of people in Seattle —
for the express purpose of destroying me, I felt a spasm of relief.

Part of it was finally solving that irritating feeling that I was missing something vital.

But the larger part was something else entirely.

“Well, ” I whispered, “everyone can relax. Nobody ’s trying to exterminate the Cullens after all. ”

“If you think that one thing has changed, you ’re absolutely wrong, ” Alice said through her teeth. “If
someone wants one of us, they ’re going to have to go through the rest of us to get to her. ”

“Thanks, Alice. But at least we know what they ’re really after. That has to help. ”

“Maybe,” she muttered. She started pacing back and forth across my room.

Thud, thud — a fist hammered against my door.

I jumped. Alice didn ’t seem to notice.

“Aren’t you ready yet? We ’re gonna be late! ” Charlie complained, sounding edgy. Charlie hated
occasions about as much as I did. In his case, a lot of the problem was having to dress up.

“Almost. Give me a minute, ” I said hoarsely.

He was quiet for half a second. “Are you crying? ”

“No. I’m nervous. Go away. ”

I heard him clump down the stairs.

“I have to go, ” Alice whispered.

“Why? ”

“Edward is coming. If he hears this . . . ”

“Go, go!” I urged immediately. Edward would go berserk when he knew. I couldn ’t keep it from him for
long, but maybe the graduation ceremony wasn ’t the best time for his reaction.

“Put it on, ” Alice commanded as she flitted out the window.

I did what she said, dressing in a daze.

I’d been planning to do something more sophisticated with my hair, but time was up, so it hung straight
and boring as on any other day. It didn ’t matter. I didn ’t bother to look in the mirror, so I had no idea
how Alice ’s sweater and skirt ensemble worked. That didn ’t matter, either. I threw the ugly yellow
polyester graduation robe over my arm and hurried down the stairs.

“You look nice, ” Charlie said, already gruff with suppressed emotion. “Is that new? ”

“Yeah,” I mumbled, trying to concentrate. “Alice gave it to me. Thanks. ”

Edward arrived just a few minutes after his sister left. It wasn ’t enough time for me to pull together a calm
façade. But, since we were riding in the cruiser with Charlie, he never had a chance to ask me what was




wrong.

Charlie had gotten stubborn last week when he ’d learned that I was intending to ride with Edward to the
graduation ceremony. And I could see his point — parents should have some rights come graduation
day. I’d conceded with good grace, and Edward had cheerfully suggested that we all go together. Since
Carlisle and Esme had no problem with this, Charlie couldn ’t come up with a compelling objection; he ’d
agreed with poor grace. And now Edward rode in the backseat of my father ’s police car, behind the
fiberglass divider, with an amused expression — probably due to my father ’s amused expression, and the
grin that widened every time Charlie stole a glance at Edward in his rearview mirror. Which almost
certainly meant that Charlie was imagining things that would get him in trouble with me if he said them out
loud.

“Are you all right? ” Edward whispered when he helped me from the front seat in the school parking lot.

“Nervous, ” I answered, and it wasn ’t even a lie.

“You are so beautiful, ” he said.

He looked like he wanted to say more, but Charlie, in an obvious maneuver that he meant to be subtle,
shrugged in between us and put his arm around my shoulders.

“Are you excited? ” he asked me.

“Not really, ” I admitted.

“Bella, this is a big deal. You ’re graduating from high school. It ’s the real world for you now. College.
Living on your own. . . . You ’re not my little girl anymore. ” Charlie choked up a bit at the end.

“Dad,” I moaned. “Please don ’t get all weepy on me. ”

“Who’s weepy? ” he growled. “Now, why aren ’t you excited? ”

“I don’t know, Dad. I guess it hasn ’t hit yet or something. ”

“It’s good that Alice is throwing this party. You need something to perk you up. ”

“Sure. A party ’s exactly what I need. ”

Charlie laughed at my tone and squeezed my shoulders. Edward looked at the clouds, his face thoughtful.

My father had to leave us at the back door of the gym and go around to the main entrance with the rest
of the parents.

It was pandemonium as Ms. Cope from the front office and Mr. Varner the math teacher tried to line
everyone up alphabetically.

“Up front, Mr. Cullen, ” Mr. Varner barked at Edward.

“Hey, Bella! ”

I looked up to see Jessica Stanley waving at me from the back of the line with a smile on her face.

Edward kissed me quickly, sighed, and went to go stand with the C ’s. Alice wasn ’t there. What was she
going to do? Skip graduation? What poor timing on my part. I should have waited to figure things out
until after this was over with.




“Down here, Bella! ” Jessica called again.

I walked down the line to take my place behind Jessica, mildly curious as to why she was suddenly so
friendly. As I got closer, I saw Angela five people back, watching Jessica with the same curiosity.

Jess was babbling before I was in earshot.

“. . . so amazing. I mean, it seems like we just met, and now we ’re graduating together, ” she gushed. “
Can you believe it ’s over? I feel like screaming! ”

“So do I,” I muttered.

“This is all just so incredible. Do you remember your first day here? We were friends, like, right away.
From the first time we saw each other. Amazing. And now I ’m off to California and you ’ll be in Alaska
and I’m going to miss you so much! You have to promise that we ’ll get together sometimes! I ’m so glad
you’re having a party. That ’s perfect. Because we really haven ’t spent much time together in a while and
now we ’re all leaving. . . . ”

She droned on and on, and I was sure the sudden return of our friendship was due to graduation
nostalgia and gratitude for the party invite, not that I ’d had anything to do with that. I paid attention as
well as I could while I shrugged into my robe. And I found that I was glad that things could end on a
good note with Jessica.

Because it was an ending, no matter what Eric, the valedictorian, had to say about commencement
meaning “beginning ” and all the rest of the trite nonsense. Maybe more for me than for the rest, but we
were all leaving something behind us today.

It went so quickly. I felt like I ’d hit the fast forward button. Were we supposed to march quite that fast?
And then Eric was speed talking in his nervousness, the words and phrases running together so they didn ’
t make sense anymore. Principal Greene started calling names, one after the other without a long enough
pause between; the front row in the gymnasium was rushing to catch up. Poor Ms. Cope was all thumbs
as she tried to give the principal the right diploma to hand to the right student.

I watched as Alice, suddenly appearing, danced across the stage to take hers, a look of deep
concentration on her face. Edward followed behind, his expression confused, but not upset. Only the two
of them could carry off the hideous yellow and still look the way they did. They stood out from the rest of
the crowd, their beauty and grace otherworldly. I wondered how I ’d ever fallen for their human farce. A
couple of angels, standing there with wings intact, would be less conspicuous.

I heard Mr. Greene call my name and I rose from my chair, waiting for the line in front of me to move. I
was conscious of cheering in the back of the gym, and I looked around to see Jacob pulling Charlie to his
feet, both of them hooting in encouragement. I could just make out the top of Billy ’s head beside Jake ’s
elbow. I managed to throw them an approximation of a smile.

Mr. Greene finished with the list of names, and then continued to hand out diplomas with a sheepish grin
as we filed past.

“Congratulations, Miss Stanley, ” he mumbled as Jess took hers.

“Congratulations, Miss Swan, ” he mumbled to me, pressing the diploma into my good hand.

“Thanks, ” I murmured.

And that was it.




I went to stand next to Jessica with the assembled graduates. Jess was all red around the eyes, and she
kept blotting her face with the sleeve of her robe. It took me a second to understand that she was crying.

Mr. Greene said something I didn ’t hear, and everyone around me shouted and screamed. Yellow hats
rained down. I pulled mine off, too late, and just let it fall to the ground.

“Oh, Bella! ” Jess blubbered over the sudden roar of conversation. “I can’t believe we ’re done.”

“I can’t believe it ’s all over, ” I mumbled.

She threw her arms around my neck. “You have to promise we won ’t lose touch. ”

I hugged her back, feeling a little awkward as I dodged her request. “I’m so glad I know you, Jessica. It
was a good two years. ”

“It was,” she sighed, and sniffed. Then she dropped her arms. “Lauren! ” she squealed, waving over her
head and pushing through the massed yellow gowns. Families were beginning to converge, pressing us
tighter together.

I caught sight of Angela and Ben, but they were surrounded by their families. I would congratulate them
later.

I craned my head, looking for Alice.

“Congratulations, ” Edward whispered in my ear, his arms winding around my waist. His voice was
subdued; he ’d been in no hurry for me to reach this particular milestone.

“Um, thanks. ”

“You don ’t look like you ’re over the nerves yet, ” he noted.

“Not quite yet. ”

“What’s left to worry about? The party? It won ’t be that horrible. ”

“You’re probably right. ”

“Who are you looking for? ”

My searching wasn ’t quite as subtle as I ’d thought. “Alice — where is she? ”

“She ran out as soon as she had her diploma. ”

His voice took on a new tone. I looked up to see his confused expression as he stared toward the back
door of the gym, and I made an impulse decision — the kind I really should think twice about, but rarely
did.

“Worrying about Alice? ” I asked.

“Er . . .” He didn ’t want to answer that.

“What was she thinking about, anyway? To keep you out, I mean. ”

His eyes flashed down to my face, and narrowed in suspicion. “She was translating the Battle Hymn of
the Republic into Arabic, actually. When she finished that, she moved on to Korean sign language. ”




I laughed nervously. “I suppose that would keep her head busy enough. ”

“You know what she ’s hiding from me, ” he accused.

“Sure.” I smiled a weak smile. “I’m the one who came up with it. ”

He waited, confused.

I looked around. Charlie would be on his way through the crowd now.

“Knowing Alice, ” I whispered in a rush, “she’ll probably try to keep this from you until after the party.
But since I ’m all for the party being canceled — well, don ’t go berserk, regardless, okay? It ’s always
better to know as much as possible. It has to help somehow. ”

“What are you talking about? ”

I saw Charlie ’s head bob up over the other heads as he searched for me. He spotted me and waved.

“Just stay calm, okay? ”

He nodded once, his mouth a grim line.

In hurried whispers I explained my reasoning to him. “I think you ’re wrong about things coming at us
from all sides. I think it ’s mostly coming at us from one side . . . and I think it ’s coming at me, really. It ’s
all connected, it has to be. It ’s just one person who ’s messing with Alice ’s visions. The stranger in my
room was a test, to see if someone could get around her. It ’s got to be the same one who keeps
changing his mind, and the newborns, and stealing my clothes — all of it goes together. My scent is for
them. ”

His face had turned so white that I had a hard time finishing.

“But no one ’s coming for you, don ’t you see? This is good — Esme and Alice and Carlisle, no one
wants to hurt them! ”

His eyes were huge, wide with panic, dazed and horrified. He could see that I was right, just as Alice
had.

I put my hand on his cheek. “Calm, ” I pleaded.

“Bella! ” Charlie crowed, pushing his way past the close-packed families around us.

“Congratulations, baby! ” He was still yelling, even though he was right at my ear now. He wrapped his
arms around me, ever so slyly shuffling Edward off to the side as he did so.

“Thanks, ” I muttered, preoccupied by the expression on Edward ’s face. He still hadn ’t gained control.
His hands were halfway extended toward me, like he was about to grab me and make a run for it. Only
slightly more in control of myself than he was, running didn ’t seem like such a terrible idea to me.

“Jacob and Billy had to take off — did you see that they were here? ” Charlie asked, taking a step back,
but keeping his hands on my shoulders. He had his back to Edward — probably an effort to exclude
him, but that was fine at the moment. Edward ’s mouth was hanging open, his eyes still wide with dread.

“Yeah,” I assured my father, trying to pay enough attention. “Heard them, too. ”

“It was nice of them to show up, ” Charlie said.




“Mm-hmm. ”

Okay, so telling Edward had been a really bad idea. Alice was right to keep her thoughts clouded. I
should have waited till we were alone somewhere, maybe with the rest of his family. And nothing
breakable close by — like windows . . . cars . . . school buildings. His face brought back all my fear and
then some. Though his expression was past the fear now — it was pure fury that was suddenly plain on
his features.

“So where do you want to go out for dinner? ” Charlie asked. “The sky ’s the limit. ”

“I can cook.”

“Don’t be silly. Do you want to go to the Lodge? ” he asked with an eager smile.

I did not particularly enjoy Charlie ’s favorite restaurant, but, at this point, what was the difference? I
wasn’t going to be able to eat anyway.

“Sure, the Lodge, cool, ” I said.

Charlie smiled wider, and then sighed. He turned his head halfway toward Edward, without really looking
at him.

“You coming, too, Edward? ”

I stared at him, my eyes beseeching. Edward pulled his expression together just before Charlie turned to
see why he hadn ’t gotten an answer.

“No, thank you, ” Edward said stiffly, his face hard and cold.

“Do you have plans with your parents? ” Charlie asked, a frown in his voice. Edward was always more
polite than Charlie deserved; the sudden hostility surprised him.

“Yes. If you ’ll excuse me. . . . ” Edward turned abruptly and stalked away through the dwindling crowd.
He moved just a little bit too fast, too upset to keep up his usually perfect charade.

“What did I say? ” Charlie asked with a guilty expression.

“Don’t worry about it, Dad, ” I reassured him. “I don’t think it ’s you. ”

“Are you two fighting again? ”

“Nobody’s fighting. Mind your own business. ”

“You are my business. ”

I rolled my eyes. “Let’s go eat.”

The Lodge was crowded. The place was, in my opinion, overpriced and tacky, but it was the only thing
close to a formal restaurant in town, so it was always popular for events. I stared morosely at a
depressed-looking stuffed elk head while Charlie ate prime rib and talked over the back of the seat to
Tyler Crowley ’s parents. It was noisy — everyone there had just come from graduation, and most were
chatting across the aisles and over the booth-tops like Charlie.

I had my back to the front windows, and I resisted the urge to turn around and search for the eyes I
could feel on me now. I knew I wouldn ’t be able to see anything. Just as I knew there was no chance




that he would leave me unguarded, even for a second. Not after this.

Dinner dragged. Charlie, busy socializing, ate too slowly. I picked at my burger, stuffing pieces of it into
my napkin when I was sure his attention was somewhere else. It all seemed to take a very long time, but
when I looked at the clock — which I did more often than necessary — the hands hadn ’t moved much.

Finally Charlie got his change back and put a tip on the table. I stood up.

“In a hurry? ” he asked me.

“I want to help Alice set things up, ” I claimed.

“Okay.” He turned away from me to say goodnight to everyone. I went out to wait by the cruiser.

I leaned against the passenger door, waiting for Charlie to drag himself away from the impromptu party.
It was almost dark in the parking lot, the clouds so thick that there was no telling if the sun had set or not.
The air felt heavy, like it was about to rain.

Something moved in the shadows.

My gasp turned into a sigh of relief as Edward appeared out of the gloom.

Without a word, he pulled me tightly against his chest. One cool hand found my chin, and pulled my face
up so that he could press his hard lips to mine. I could feel the tension in his jaw.

“How are you? ” I asked as soon as he let me breathe.

“Not so great, ” he murmured. “But I ’ve got a handle on myself. I ’m sorry that I lost it back there. ”

“My fault. I should have waited to tell you. ”

“No,” he disagreed. “This is something I needed to know. I can ’t believe I didn ’t see it! ”

“You’ve got a lot on your mind. ”

“And you don ’t?”

He suddenly kissed me again, not letting me answer. He pulled away after just a second. “Charlie ’s on
his way. ”

“I’ll have him drop me at your house. ”

“I’ll follow you there. ”

“That ’s not really necessary, ” I tried to say, but he was already gone.

“Bella? ” Charlie called from the doorway of the restaurant, squinting into the darkness.

“I’m out here. ”

Charlie sauntered out to the car, muttering about impatience.

“So, how do you feel? ” he asked me as we drove north along the highway. “It’s been a big day. ”

“I feel fine, ” I lied.




He laughed, seeing through me easily. “Worried about the party? ” he guessed.

“Yeah,” I lied again.

This time he didn ’t notice. “You were never one for the parties. ”

“Wonder where I got that from, ” I murmured.

Charlie chuckled. “Well, you look really nice. I wish I ’d thought to get you something. Sorry. ”

“Don’t be silly, Dad. ”

“It’s not silly. I feel like I don ’t always do everything for you that I should. ”

“That ’s ridiculous. You do a fantastic job. World ’s best dad. And . . . ” It wasn ’t easy to talk about
feelings with Charlie, but I persevered after clearing my throat. “And I’m really glad I came to live with
you, Dad. It was the best idea I ever had. So don ’t worry — you’re just experiencing post-graduation
pessimism. ”

He snorted. “Maybe. But I ’m sure I slipped up in a few places. I mean, look at your hand! ”

I stared down blankly at my hands. My left hand rested lightly on the dark brace I rarely thought about.
My broken knuckle didn ’t hurt much anymore.

“I never thought I needed to teach you how to throw a punch. Guess I was wrong about that. ”

“I thought you were on Jacob ’s side? ”

“No matter what side I ’m on, if someone kisses you without your permission, you should be able to
make your feelings clear without hurting yourself. You didn ’t keep your thumb inside your fist, did you? ”

“No, Dad. That ’s kind of sweet in a weird way, but I don ’t think lessons would have helped. Jacob ’s
head is really hard.”

Charlie laughed. “Hit him in the gut next time. ”

“Next time? ” I asked incredulously.

“Aw, don ’t be too hard on the kid. He ’s young. ”

“He’s obnoxious. ”

“He’s still your friend. ”

“I know.” I sighed. “I don’t really know what the right thing to do here is, Dad. ”

Charlie nodded slowly. “Yeah. The right thing isn ’t always real obvious. Sometimes the right thing for one
person is the wrong thing for someone else. So . . . good luck figuring that out. ”

“Thanks, ” I muttered dryly.

Charlie laughed again, and then frowned. “If this party gets too wild . . . , ” he began.

“Don’t worry about it, Dad. Carlisle and Esme are going to be there. I ’m sure you can come, too, if you
want. ”




Charlie grimaced as he squinted through the windshield into the night. Charlie enjoyed a good party just
about as much as I did.

“Where’s the turnoff, again? ” he asked. “They ought to clear out their drive — it’s impossible to find in
the dark.”

“Just around the next bend, I think. ” I pursed my lips. “You know, you ’re right — it is impossible to find.
Alice said she put a map in the invitation, but even so, maybe everyone will get lost. ” I cheered up slightly
at the idea.

“Maybe,” Charlie said as the road curved to the east. “Or maybe not. ”

The black velvet darkness was interrupted ahead, just where the Cullens ’ drive should be. Someone had
wrapped the trees on either side in thousands of twinkle lights, impossible to miss.

“Alice, ” I said sourly.

“Wow,” Charlie said as we turned onto the drive. The two trees at the entry weren ’t the only ones lit.
Every twenty feet or so, another shining beacon guided us toward the big white house. All the way — all
three miles of the way.

“She doesn ’t do things halfway, does she? ” Charlie mumbled in awe.

“Sure you don ’t want to come in? ”

“Extremely sure. Have fun, kid. ”

“Thanks so much, Dad. ”

He was laughing to himself as I got out and shut the door. I watched him drive away, still grinning. With a
sigh, I marched up the stairs to endure my party.



17. ALLIANCE

“BELLA? ”

Edward’s soft voice came from behind me. I turned to see him spring lightly up the porch steps, his hair
windblown from running. He pulled me into his arms at once, just like he had in the parking lot, and
kissed me again.

This kiss frightened me. There was too much tension, too strong an edge to the way his lips crushed
mine — like he was afraid we only had so much time left to us.

I couldn ’t let myself think about that. Not if I was going to have to act human for the next several hours. I
pulled away from him.

“Let’s get this stupid party over with, ” I mumbled, not meeting his eyes.

He put his hands on either side of my face, waiting until I looked up.

“I won’t let anything happen to you. ”




I touched his lips with the fingers of my good hand. “I’m not worried about myself so much. ”

“Why am I not surprised by that? ” he muttered to himself. He took a deep breath, and then he smiled
slightly. “Ready to celebrate? ” he asked.

I groaned.

He held the door for me, keeping his arm securely around my waist. I stood frozen there for a minute,
then I slowly shook my head.

“Unbelievable. ”

Edward shrugged. “Alice will be Alice. ”

The interior of the Cullens ’ home had been transformed into a nightclub — the kind that didn ’t often exist
in real life, only on TV.

“Edward! ” Alice called from beside a gigantic speaker. “I need your advice. ” She gestured toward a
towering stack of CDs. “Should we give them familiar and comforting? Or ” — she gestured to a different
pile — “educate their taste in music? ”

“Keep it comforting, ” Edward recommended. “You can only lead the horse to water. ”

Alice nodded seriously, and started throwing the educational CDs into a box. I noticed that she had
changed into a sequined tank top and red leather pants. Her bare skin reacted oddly to the pulsing red
and purple lights.

“I think I ’m underdressed. ”

“You’re perfect, ” Edward disagreed.

“You’ll do, ” Alice amended.

“Thanks. ” I sighed. “Do you really think people will come? ” Anyone could hear the hope in my voice.
Alice made a face at me.

“Everyone will come, ” Edward answered. “They ’re all dying to see the inside of the reclusive Cullens ’
mystery house. ”

“Fabulous, ” I moaned.

There wasn ’t anything I could do to help. I doubted that — even after I didn ’t need sleep and moved at
a much faster speed — I would ever be able to get things done the way Alice did.

Edward refused to let me go for a second, dragging me along with him as he hunted up Jasper and then
Carlisle to tell them of my epiphany. I listened with quiet horror as they discussed their attack on the army
in Seattle. I could tell that Jasper was not pleased with the way the numbers stood, but they ’d been
unable to contact anyone besides Tanya ’s unwilling family. Jasper didn ’t try to hide his desperation the
way Edward would have. It was easy to see that he didn ’t like gambling with stakes this high.

I couldn ’t stay behind, waiting and hoping for them to come home. I wouldn ’t. I would go mad.

The doorbell rang.

All at once, everything was surreally normal. A perfect smile, genuine and warm, replaced the stress on




Carlisle ’s face. Alice turned the volume of the music up, and then danced to get the door.

It was a Suburban-load of my friends, either too nervous or too intimidated to arrive on their own.
Jessica was the first one in the door, with Mike right behind her. Tyler, Conner, Austin, Lee, Samantha . .
. even Lauren trailing in last, her critical eyes alight with curiosity. They all were curious, and then
overwhelmed as they took in the huge room decked out like a chic rave. The room wasn ’t empty; all the
Cullens had taken their places, ready to put on their usual perfect human charade. Tonight I felt like I was
acting every bit as much as they were.

I went to greet Jess and Mike, hoping the edge in my voice sounded like the right kind of excitement.
Before I could get to anyone else, the bell rang again. I let Angela and Ben in, leaving the door wide,
because Eric and Katie were just reaching the steps.

I didn ’t get another chance to panic. I had to talk to everyone, concentrate on being upbeat, a hostess.
Though the party had been billed as a joint event for Alice, Edward, and me, there was no denying that I
was the most popular target for congratulations and thanks. Maybe because the Cullens looked just
slightly wrong under Alice ’s party lights. Maybe because those lights left the room dim and mysterious.
Not an atmosphere to make your average human feel relaxed when standing next to someone like
Emmett. I saw Emmett grin at Mike over the food table, the red lights gleaming off his teeth, and watched
Mike take an automatic step back.

Probably Alice had done this on purpose, to force me into the center of attention — a place she thought I
should enjoy more. She was forever trying to make me be human the way she thought humans should be.

The party was a clear success, despite the instinctive edginess cause by the Cullens ’ presence — or
maybe that simply added a thrill to the atmosphere. The music was infectious, the lights almost hypnotic.
From the way the food disappeared, that must have been good, too. The room was soon crowded,
though never claustrophobic. The entire senior class seemed to be there, along with most of the juniors.
Bodies swayed to the beat that rumbled under the soles of their feet, the party constantly on the edge of
breaking into a dance.

It wasn ’t as hard as I ’d thought it would be. I followed Alice ’s lead, mingling and chatting for a minute
with everyone. They seemed easy enough to please. I was sure this party was far cooler than anything the
town of Forks had experienced before. Alice was almost purring — no one here would forget this night.

I’d circled the room once, and was back to Jessica. She babbled excitedly, and it was not necessary to
pay strict attention, because the odds were she wouldn ’t need a response from me anytime soon.
Edward was at my side — still refusing to let go of me. He kept one hand securely at my waist, pulling
me closer now and then in response to thoughts I probably didn ’t want to hear.

So I was immediately suspicious when he dropped his arm and edged away from me.

“Stay here, ” he murmured in my ear. “I’ll be right back. ”

He passed gracefully through the crowd without seeming to touch any of the close-packed bodies, gone
too quickly for me to ask why he was leaving. I stared after him with narrowed eyes while Jessica
shouted over the music eagerly, hanging on to my elbow, oblivious to my distraction.

I watched him as he reached the dark shadow beside the kitchen doorway, where the lights only shone
intermittently. He was leaning over someone, but I couldn ’t see past all the heads between us.

I stretched up on my toes, craning my neck. Right then, a red light flashed across his back and glinted off
the red sequins of Alice ’s shirt. The light only touched her face for half a second, but it was enough.




“Excuse me for a minute, Jess, ” I mumbled, pulling my arm away. I didn ’t pause for her reaction, even to
see if I ’d hurt her feelings with my abruptness.

I ducked my way through the bodies, getting shoved around a bit. A few people were dancing now. I
hurried to the kitchen door.

Edward was gone, but Alice was still there in the dark, her face blank — the kind of expressionless look
you see on the face of someone who has just witnessed a horrible accident. One of her hands gripped the
door frame, like she needed the support.

“What, Alice, what? What did you see? ” My hands were clutched in front of me — begging.

She didn ’t look at me, she was staring away. I followed her gaze and watched as she caught Edward ’s
eye across the room. His face was empty as a stone. He turned and disappeared into the shadows under
the stair.

The doorbell rang just then, hours after the last time, and Alice looked up with a puzzled expression that
quickly turned into one of disgust.

“Who invited the werewolf? ” she griped at me.

I scowled. “Guilty. ”

I’d thought I ’d rescinded that invitation — not that I ’d ever dreamed Jacob would come here,
regardless.

“Well, you go take care of it, then. I have to talk to Carlisle. ”

“No, Alice, wait! ” I tried to reach for her arm, but she was gone and my hand clutched the empty air.

“Damn it! ” I grumbled.

I knew this was it. Alice had seen what she ’d been waiting for, and I honestly didn ’t feel I could stand the
suspense long enough to answer the door. The doorbell peeled again, too long, someone holding down
the button. I turned my back toward the door resolutely, and scanned the darkened room for Alice.

I couldn ’t see anything. I started pushing for the stairs.

“Hey, Bella! ”

Jacob’s deep voice caught a lull in the music, and I looked up in spite of myself at the sound of my name.

I made a face.

It wasn ’t just one werewolf, it was three. Jacob had let himself in, flanked on either side by Quil and
Embry. The two of them looked terribly tense, their eyes flickering around the room like they ’d just
walked into a haunted crypt. Embry ’s trembling hand still held the door, his body half-turned to run for it.

Jacob was waving at me, calmer than the others, though his nose was wrinkled in disgust. I waved back
— waved goodbye — and turned to look for Alice. I squeezed through a space between Conner ’s and
Lauren ’s backs.

He came out of nowhere, his hand on my shoulder pulling me back toward the shadow by the kitchen. I
ducked under his grip, but he grabbed my good wrist and yanked me from the crowd.




“Friendly reception, ” he noted.

I pulled my hand free and scowled at him. “What are you doing here?”

“You invited me, remember? ”

“In case my right hook was too subtle for you, let me translate: that was me uninviting you. ”

“Don’t be a poor sport. I brought you a graduation present and everything. ”

I folded my arms across my chest. I didn ’t want to fight with Jacob right now. I wanted to know what
Alice had seen and what Edward and Carlisle were saying about it. I craned my head around Jacob,
searching for them.

“Take it back to the store, Jake. I ’ve got to do something. . . . ”

He stepped into my line of sight, demanding my attention.

“I can’t take it back. I didn ’t get it from the store — I made it myself. Took a really long time, too. ”

I leaned around him again, but I couldn ’t see any of the Cullens. Where had they gone? My eyes scanned
the darkened room.

“Oh, c’mon, Bell. Don ’t pretend like I ’m not here! ”

“I’m not. ” I couldn ’t see them anywhere. “Look, Jake, I’ve got a lot on my mind right now. ”

He put his hand under my chin and pulled my face up. “Could I please have just a few seconds of your
undivided attention, Miss Swan? ”

I jerked away from his touch. “Keep your hands to yourself, Jacob, ” I hissed.

“Sorry!” he said at once, holding his hands up in surrender. “I really am sorry. About the other day, I
mean, too. I shouldn ’t have kissed you like that. It was wrong. I guess . . . well, I guess I deluded myself
into thinking you wanted me to. ”

“Deluded — what a perfect description! ”

“Be nice. You could accept my apology, you know. ”

“Fine. Apology accepted. Now, if you ’ll just excuse me for a moment . . . ”

“Okay,” he mumbled, and his voice was so different from before that I stoppd searching for Alice and
scrutinized his face. He was staring at the floor, hiding his eyes. His lower lip jutted out just a little bit.

“I guess you ’d rather be with your real friends, ” he said in the same defeated tone. “I get it. ”

I groaned. “Aw, Jake, you know that ’s not fair. ”

“Do I?”

“You should.” I leaned forward, peering up, trying to look into his eyes. He looked up then, over my
head, avoiding my gaze.

“Jake?”




He refused to look at me.

“Hey, you said you made me something, right? ” I asked. “Was that just talk? Where ’s my present? ” My
attempt to fake enthusiasm was pretty sad, but it worked. He rolled his eyes and then grimaced at me.

I kept up the lame pretense, holding my hand open in front of me. “I’m waiting. ”

“Right, ” he grumbled sarcastically. But he also reached into the back pocket of his jeans and pulled out a
small bag of a loose-woven, multi-colored fabric. It was tied shut with leather drawstrings. He set it on
my palm.

“Hey, that ’s pretty, Jake. Thanks! ”

He sighed. “The present is inside, Bella. ”

“Oh.”

I had some trouble with the strings. He sighed again and took it from me, sliding the ties open with one
easy tug of the right cord. I held my hand out for it, but he turned the bag upside down and shook
something silver into my hand. Metal links clinked quietly against each other.

“I didn ’t make the bracelet, ” he admitted. “Just the charm. ”

Fastened to one of the links of the silver bracelet was a tiny wooden carving. I held it between my fingers
to look at it closer. It was amazing the amount of detail involved in the little figurine — the miniature wolf
was utterly realistic. It was even carved out of some red-brown wood that matched the color of his skin.

“It’s beautiful, ” I whispered. “You made this? How? ”

He shrugged. “It’s something Billy taught me. He ’s better at it than I am. ”

“That ’s hard to believe, ” I murmured, turning the tiny wolf around and around in my fingers.

“Do you really like it? ”

“Yes! It’s unbelievable, Jake. ”

He smiled, happily at first, but then the expression soured. “Well, I figured that maybe it would make you
remember me once in a while. You know how it is, out of sight, out of mind. ”

I ignored the attitude. “Here, help me put it on. ”

I held out my left wrist, since the right was stuck in the brace. He fastened the catch easily, though it
looked too delicate for his big fingers to manage.

“You’ll wear it? ” he asked.

“Of course I will. ”

He grinned at me — it was the happy smile that I loved to see him wear.

I returned it for a moment, but then my eyes shot reflexively around the room again, anxiously scanning
the crowd for some sign of Edward or Alice.

“Why ’re you so distracted? ” Jacob wondered.




“It’s nothing, ” I lied, trying to concentrate. “Thanks for the present, really. I love it. ”

“Bella? ” His brows pulled together, throwing his eyes deep into their shadow. “Something ’s going on, isn
’t it? ”

“Jake, I . . . no, there ’s nothing. ”

“Don’t lie to me, you suck at lying. You should tell me what ’s going on. We want to know these things, ”
he said, slipping into the plural at the end.

He was probably right; the wolves would certainly be interested in what was happening. Only I wasn ’t
sure what that was yet. I wouldn ’t know for sure until I found Alice.

“Jacob, I will tell you. Just let me figure out what ’s happening, okay? I need to talk to Alice. ”

Understanding lit his expression. “The psychic saw something. ”

“Yes, just when you showed up. ”

“Is this about the bloodsucker in your room? ” he murmured, pitching his voice below the thrum of the
music.

“It’s related, ” I admitted.

He processed that for a minute, leaning his head to one side while he read my face. “You know
something you ’re not telling me . . . something big.”

What was the point in lying again? He knew me too well. “Yes.”

Jacob stared at me for one short moment, and then turned to catch his pack brothers ’ eyes where they
stood in the entry, awkward and uncomfortable. When they took in his expression, they started moving,
weaving their way agilely through the partiers, almost like they were dancing, too. In half a minute, they
stood on either side of Jacob, towering over me.

“Now. Explain, ” Jacob demanded.

Embry and Quil looked back and forth between our faces, confused and wary.

“Jacob, I don’t know everything. ” I kept searching the room, now for a rescue. They had me backed
into a corner in every sense.

“What you do know, then. ”

They all folded their arms across their chests at exactly the same moment. It was a little bit funny, but
mostly menacing.

And then I caught sight of Alice descending the stairs, her white skin glowing in the purple light.

“Alice! ” I squeaked in relief.

She looked right at me as soon as I called her name, despite the thudding bass that should have drowned
my voice. I waved eagerly, and watched her face as she took in the three werewolves leaning over me.
Her eyes narrowed.

But, before that reaction, her face was full of stress and fear. I bit my lip as she skipped to my side.




Jacob, Quil, and Embry all leaned away from her with uneasy expressions. She put her arm around my
waist.

“I need to talk to you, ” she murmured into my ear.

“Er, Jake, I’ll see you later . . . , ” I mumbled as we eased around them.

Jacob threw his long arm out to block our way, bracing his hand against the wall. “Hey, not so fast. ”

Alice stared up at him, eyes wide and incredulous. “Excuse me? ”

“Tell us what ’s going on, ” he demanded in a growl.

Jasper appeared quite literally out of nowhere. One second it was just Alice and me against the wall,
Jacob blocking our exit, and then Jasper was standing on the other side of Jake ’s arm, his expression
terrifying.

Jacob slowly pulled his arm back. It seemed like the best move, going with the assumption that he
wanted to keep that arm.

“We have a right to know, ” Jacob muttered, still glaring at Alice.

Jasper stepped in between them, and the three werewolves braced themselves.

“Hey, hey, ” I said, adding a slightly hysterical chuckle. “This is a party, remember? ”

Nobody paid any attention to me. Jacob glared at Alice while Jasper glowered at Jacob. Alice ’s face
was suddenly thoughtful.

“It’s okay, Jasper. He actually has a point. ”

Jasper did not relax his position.

I was sure the suspense was going to make my head explode in about one second. “What did you see,
Alice? ”

She stared at Jacob for one second, and then turned to me, evidently having chosen to let them hear.

“The decision ’s been made. ”

“You’re going to Seattle? ”

“No.”

I felt the color drain out of my face. My stomach lurched. “They ’re coming here, ” I choked out.

The Quileute boys watched silently, reading every unconscious play of emotion on our faces. They were
rooted in place, and yet not completely still. All three pairs of hands were trembling.

“Yes.”

“To Forks,” I whispered.

“Yes.”

“For?”




She nodded, understanding my question. “One carried your red shirt. ”

I tried to swallow.

Jasper’s expression was disapproving. I could tell he didn ’t like discussing this in front of the
werewolves, but he had something he needed to say. “We can’t let them come that far. There aren ’t
enough of us to protect the town. ”

“I know,” Alice said, her face suddenly desolate. “But it doesn ’t matter where we stop them. There still
won’t be enough of us, and some of them will come here to search. ”

“No!” I whispered.

The noise of the party overwhelmed the sound of my denial. All around us, my friends and neighbors and
petty enemies ate and laughed and swayed to the music, oblivious to the fact that they were about to face
horror, danger, maybe death. Because of me.

“Alice, ” I mouthed her name. “I have to go, I have to get away from here. ”

“That won ’t help. It ’s not like we ’re dealing with a tracker. They ’ll still come looking here first. ”

“Then I have to go to meet them! ” If my voice hadn ’t been so hoarse and strained, it might have been a
shriek. “If they find what they ’re looking for, maybe they ’ll go away and not hurt anyone else! ”

“Bella! ” Alice protested.

“Hold it, ” Jacob ordered in a low, forceful voice. “What is coming? ”

Alice turned her icy gaze on him. “Our kind. Lots of them. ”

“Why? ”

“For Bella. That ’s all we know. ”

“There are too many for you? ” he asked.

Jasper bridled. “We have a few advantages, dog. It will be an even fight. ”

“No,” Jacob said, and a strange, fierce half-smile spread across his face. “It won ’t be even.”

“Excellent! ” Alice hissed.

I stared, still frozen in horror, at Alice ’s new expression. Her face was alive with exultation, all the
despair wiped clean from her perfect features.

She grinned at Jacob, and he grinned back.

“Everything just disappeared, of course, ” she told him in a smug voice. “That ’s inconvenient, but, all
things considered, I ’ll take it. ”

“We’ll have to coordinate, ” Jacob said. “It won ’t be easy for us. Still, this is our job more than yours. ”

“I wouldn ’t go that far, but we need the help. We aren ’t going to be picky. ”

“Wait, wait, wait, wait, ” I interrupted them.




Alice was on her toes, Jacob leaning down toward her, both of their faces lit up with excitement, both of
their noses wrinkled against the smell. They looked at me impatiently.

“Coordinate? ” I repeated through my teeth.

“You didn ’t honestly think you were going to keep us out of this? ” Jacob asked.

“You are staying out of this! ”

“Your psychic doesn ’t think so. ”

“Alice — tell them no! ” I insisted. “They ’ll get killed! ”

Jacob, Quil, and Embry all laughed out loud.

“Bella, ” Alice said, her voice soothing, placating, “separately we all could get killed. Together —”

“It’ll be no problem, ” Jacob finished her sentence. Quil laughed again.

“How many? ” Quil asked eagerly.

“No!” I shouted.

Alice didn ’t even look at me. “It changes — twenty-one today, but the numbers are going down. ”

“Why? ” Jacob asked, curious.

“Long story, ” Alice said, suddenly looking around the room. “And this isn ’t the place for it. ”

“Later tonight? ” Jacob pushed.

“Yes,” Jasper answered him. “We were already planning a . . . strategic meeting. If you ’re going to fight
with us, you ’ll need some instruction. ”

The wolves all made a disgruntled face at the last part.

“No!” I moaned.

“This will be odd, ” Jasper said thoughtfully. “I never considered working together. This has to be a first. ”

“No doubt about that, ” Jacob agreed. He was in a hurry now. “We’ve got to get back to Sam. What
time? ”

“What’s too late for you? ”

All three rolled their eyes. “What time? ” Jacob repeated.

“Three o ’clock?”

“Where?”

“About ten miles due north of the Hoh Forest ranger station. Come at it from the west and you ’ll be able
to follow our scent in. ”

“We’ll be there. ”

They turned to leave.




“Wait, Jake! ” I called after him. “Please! Don’t do this! ”

He paused, turning back to grin at me, while Quil and Embry headed impatiently for the door. “Don’t be
ridiculous, Bells. You ’re giving me a much better gift than the one I gave you. ”

“No!” I shouted again. The sound of an electric guitar drowned my cry.

He didn ’t respond; he hurried to catch up with his friends, who were already gone. I watched helplessly
as Jacob disappeared.



18. INSTRUCTION

“THAT HAD TO BE THE LONGEST PARTY IN THE HISTORY of the world, ” I complained on the
way home.

Edward didn ’t seem to disagree. “It’s over now, ” he said, rubbing my arm soothingly.

Because I was the only one who needed soothing. Edward was fine now — all the Cullens were fine.

They ’d all reassured me; Alice reaching up to pat my head as I left, eyeing Jasper meaningfully until a
flood of peace swirled around me, Esme kissing my forehead and promising me everything was all right,
Emmett laughing boisterously and asking why I was the only one who was allowed to fight with
werewolves. . . . Jacob ’s solution had them all relaxed, almost euphoric after the long weeks of stress.
Doubt had been replaced with confidence. The party had ended on a note of true celebration.

Not for me.

Bad enough — horrible — that the Cullens would fight for me. It was already too much that I would
have to allow that. It already felt like more than I could bear.

Not Jacob, too. Not his foolish, eager brothers — most of them even younger than I was. They were just
oversized, over-muscled children, and they looked forward to this like it was picnic on the beach. I could
not have them in danger, too. My nerves felt frayed and exposed. I didn ’t know how much longer I could
restrain the urge to scream out loud.

I whispered now, to keep my voice under control. “You’re taking me with you tonight. ”

“Bella, you ’re worn out. ”

“You think I could sleep? ”

He frowned. “This is an experiment. I ’m not sure if it will be possible for us all to . . . cooperate. I don ’t
want you in the middle of that. ”

As if that didn ’t make me all the more anxious to go. “If you won ’t take me, then I ’ll call Jacob. ”

His eyes tightened. That was a low blow, and I knew it. But there was no way I was being left behind.

He didn ’t answer; we were at Charlie ’s house now. The front light was on.

“See you upstairs, ” I muttered.




I tiptoed in the front door. Charlie was asleep in the living room, overflowing the too-small sofa, and
snoring so loudly I could have ripped a chainsaw to life and it wouldn ’t have wakened him.

I shook his shoulder vigorously.

“Dad! Charlie! ”

He grumbled, eyes still closed.

“I’m home now — you’re going to hurt your back sleeping like that. C ’mon, time to move. ”

It took a few more shakes, and his eyes never did open all the way, but I managed to get him off the
couch. I helped him up to his bed, where he collapsed on top of the covers, fully dressed, and started
snoring again.

He wasn ’t going to be looking for me anytime soon.

Edward waited in my room while I washed my face and changed into jeans and a flannel shirt. He
watched me unhappily from the rocking chair as I hung the outfit Alice had given me in my closet.

“Come here, ” I said, taking his hand and pulling him to my bed.

I pushed him down on the bed and then curled up against his chest. Maybe he was right and I was tired
enough to sleep. I wasn ’t going to let him sneak off without me.

He tucked my quilt in around me, and then held me close.

“Please relax. ”

“Sure.”

“This is going to work, Bella. I can feel it. ”

My teeth locked together.

He was still radiating relief. Nobody but me cared if Jacob and his friends got hurt. Not even Jacob and
his friends. Especially not them.

He could tell I was about to lose it. “Listen to me, Bella. This is going to be easy. The newborns will be
completely taken by surprise. They ’ll have no more idea that werewolves even exist than you did. I ’ve
seen how they act in a group, the way Jasper remembers. I truly believe that the wolves ’ hunting
techniques will work flawlessly against them. And with them divided and confused, there won ’t be
enough for the rest of us to do. Someone may have to sit out, ” he teased.

“Piece of cake, ” I mumbled tonelessly against his chest.

“Shhh, ” he stroked my cheek. “You’ll see. Don ’t worry now. ”

He started humming my lullaby, but, for once, it didn ’t calm me.

People — well, vampires and werewolves really, but still — people I loved were going to get hurt. Hurt
because of me. Again. I wished my bad luck would focus a little more carefully. I felt like yelling up at the
empty sky: It’s me you want — over here! Just me!

I tried to think of a way that I could do exactly that — force my bad luck to focus on me. It wouldn ’t be




easy. I would have to wait, bide my time. . . .

I did not fall asleep. The minutes passed quickly, to my surprise, and I was still alert and tense when
Edward pulled us both up into a sitting position.

“Are you sure you don ’t want to stay and sleep? ”

I gave him a sour look.

He sighed, and scooped me up in his arms before he jumped from my window.

He raced through the black, quiet forest with me on his back, and even in his run I could feel the elation.
He ran the way he did when it was just us, just for enjoyment, just for the feel of the wind in his hair. It
was the kind of thing that, during less anxious times, would have made me happy.

When we got to the big open field, his family was there, talking casually, relaxed. Emmett ’s booming
laugh echoed through the wide space now and then. Edward set me down and we walked hand in hand
toward them.

It took me a minute, because it was so dark with the moon hidden behind the clouds, but I realized that
we were in the baseball clearing. It was the same place where, more than a year ago, that first
lighthearted evening with the Cullens had been interrupted by James and his coven. It felt strange to be
here again — as if this gathering wouldn ’t be complete until James and Laurent and Victoria joined us.
But James and Laurent were never coming back. That pattern wouldn ’t be repeated. Maybe all the
patterns were broken.

Yes, someone had broken out of their pattern. Was it possible that the Volturi were the flexible ones in
this equation?

I doubted it.

Victoria had always seemed like a force of nature to me — like a hurricane moving toward the coast in a
straight line — unavoidable, implacable, but predictable. Maybe it was wrong to limit her that way. She
had to be capable of adaptation.

“You know what I think? ” I asked Edward.

He laughed. “No.”

I almost smiled.

“What do you think? ”

“I think it ’s all connected. Not just the two, but all three. ”

“You’ve lost me. ”

“Three bad things have happened since you came back. ” I ticked them off on my fingers. “The newborns
in Seattle. The stranger in my room. And — first of all — Victoria came to look for me. ”

His eyes narrowed as he thought about it. “Why do you think so? ”

“Because I agree with Jasper — the Volturi love their rules. They would probably do a better job
anyway. ” And I’d be dead if they wanted me dead, I added mentally. “Remember when you were
tracking Victoria last year? ”




“Yes.” He frowned. “I wasn ’t very good at it. ”

“Alice said you were in Texas. Did you follow her there? ”

His eyebrows pulled together. “Yes. Hmm . . . ”

“See — she could have gotten the idea there. But she doesn ’t know what she ’s doing, so the newborns
are all out of control. ”

He started shaking his head. “Only Aro knows exactly how Alice ’s visions work. ”

“Aro would know best, but wouldn ’t Tanya and Irina and the rest of your friends in Denali know enough
? Laurent lived with them for so long. And if he was still friendly enough with Victoria to be doing favors
for her, why wouldn ’t he also tell her everything he knew? ”

Edward frowned. “It wasn ’t Victoria in your room. ”

“She can ’t make new friends? Think about it, Edward. If it is Victoria doing this in Seattle, she ’s made a
lot of new friends. She ’s created them. ”

He considered it, his forehead creased in concentration.

“Hmm, ” he finally said. “It’s possible. I still think the Volturi are most likely . . . But your theory — there’
s something there. Victoria ’s personality. Your theory suits her personality perfectly. She ’s shown a
remarkable gift for self-preservation from the start — maybe it ’s a talent of hers. In any case, this plot
would put her in no danger at all from us, if she sits safely behind and lets the newborns wreak their
havoc here. And maybe little danger from the Volturi, either. Perhaps she ’s counting on us to win, in the
end, though certainly not without heavy casualties of our own. But no survivors from her little army to
bear witness against her. In fact, ” he continued, thinking it through, “if there were survivors, I ’d bet she’d
be planning to destroy them herself. . . . Hmm. Still, she ’d have to have at least one friend who was a bit
more mature. No fresh-made newborn left your father alive. . . . ”

He frowned into space for a long moment, and then suddenly smiled at me, coming back from his
reverie. “Definitely possible. Regardless, we ’ve got to be prepared for anything until we know for sure.
You’re very perceptive today, ” he added. “It’s impressive. ”

I sighed. “Maybe I’m just reacting to this place. It makes me feel like she ’s close by . . . like she sees me
now.”

His jaw muscles tensed at the idea. “She’ll never touch you, Bella, ” he said.

In spite of his words, his eyes swept carefully across the dark trees. While he searched their shadows,
the strangest expression crossed his face. His lips pulled back over his teeth and his eyes shone with an
odd light — a wild, fierce kind of hope.

“Yet, what I wouldn ’t give to have her that close, ” he murmured. “Victoria, and anyone else who ’s ever
thought of hurting you. To have the chance to end this myself. To finish it with my own hands this time. ”

I shuddered at the ferocious longing in his voice, and clenched his fingers more tightly with mine, wishing I
was strong enough to lock our hands together permanently.

We were almost to his family, and I noticed for the first time that Alice did not look as optimistic as the
others. She stood a little aside, watching Jasper stretching his arms as if he were warming up to exercise,
her lips pushed out in a pout.




“Is something wrong with Alice? ” I whispered.

Edward chuckled, himself again. “The werewolves are on their way, so she can ’t see anything that will
happen now. It makes her uncomfortable to be blind. ”

Alice, though the farthest from us, heard his low voice. She looked up and stuck her tongue out at him.
He laughed again.

“Hey, Edward, ” Emmett greeted him. “Hey, Bella. Is he going to let you practice, too? ”

Edward groaned at his brother. “Please, Emmett, don ’t give her any ideas. ”

“When will our guests arrive? ” Carlisle asked Edward.

Edward concentrated for a moment, and then sighed. “A minute and a half. But I ’m going to have to
translate. They don ’t trust us enough to use their human forms. ”

Carlisle nodded. “This is hard for them. I ’m grateful they ’re coming at all. ”

I stared at Edward, my eyes stretched wide. “They ’re coming as wolves? ”

He nodded, cautious of my reaction. I swallowed once, remembering the two times I ’d seen Jacob in his
wolf form — the first time in the meadow with Laurent, the second time on the forest lane where Paul
had gotten angry at me. . . . They were both memories of terror.

A strange gleam came into Edward ’s eyes, as though something had just occurred to him, something that
was not altogether unpleasant. He turned away quickly, before I could see any more, back to Carlisle
and the others.

“Prepare yourselves — they ’ve been holding out on us. ”

“What do you mean? ” Alice demanded.

“Shh,” he cautioned, and stared past her into the darkness.

The Cullens ’ informal circle suddenly widened out into a loose line with Jasper and Emmett at the spear
point. From the way Edward leaned forward next to me, I could tell that he wished he was standing
beside them. I tightened my hand around his.

I squinted toward the forest, seeing nothing.

“Damn,” Emmett muttered under his breath. “Did you ever see anything like it? ”

Esme and Rosalie exchanged a wide-eyed glance.

“What is it? ” I whispered as quietly as I could. “I can’t see.”

“The pack has grown, ” Edward murmured into my ear.

Hadn’t I told him that Quil had joined the pack? I strained to see the six wolves in the gloom. Finally,
something glittered in the blackness — their eyes, higher up than they should be. I ’d forgotten how very
tall the wolves were. Like horses, only thick with muscle and fur — and teeth like knives, impossible to
overlook.

I could only see the eyes. And as I scanned, straining to see more, it occurred to me that there were




more than six pairs facing us. One, two, three . . . I counted the pairs swiftly in my head. Twice.

There were ten of them.

“Fascinating, ” Edward murmured almost silently.

Carlisle took a slow, deliberate step forward. It was a careful movement, designed to reassure.

“Welcome, ” he greeted the invisible wolves.

“Thank you, ” Edward responded in a strange, flat tone, and I realized at once that the words came from
Sam. I looked to the eyes shining in the center of the line, the highest up, the tallest of them all. It was
impossible to separate the shape of the big black wolf from the darkness.

Edward spoke again in the same detached voice, speaking Sam ’s words. “We will watch and listen, but
no more. That is the most we can ask of our self-control. ”

“That is more than enough, ” Carlisle answered. “My son Jasper ” — he gestured to where Jasper stood,
tensed and ready — “has experience in this area. He will teach us how they fight, how they are to be
defeated. I ’m sure you can apply this to your own hunting style. ”

“They are different from you? ” Edward asked for Sam.

Carlisle nodded. “They are all very new — only months old to this life. Children, in a way. They will have
no skill or strategy, only brute strength. Tonight their numbers stand at twenty. Ten for us, ten for you —
it shouldn ’t be difficult. The numbers may go down. The new ones fight amongst themselves. ”

A rumble passed down the shadowy line of wolves, a low growling mutter that somehow managed to
sound enthusiastic.

“We are willing to take more than our share, if necessary, ” Edward translated, his tone less indifferent
now.

Carlisle smiled. “We’ll see how it plays out. ”

“Do you know when and how they ’ll arrive? ”

“They ’ll come across the mountains in four days, in the late morning. As they approach, Alice will help us
intercept their path. ”

“Thank you for the information. We will watch. ”

With a sighing sound, the eyes sank closer to the ground one set at a time.

It was silent for two heartbeats, and then Jasper took a step into the empty space between the vampires
and the wolves. It wasn ’t hard for me to see him — his skin was as bright against the darkness as the
wolves ’ eyes. Jasper threw a wary glance toward Edward, who nodded, and then Jasper turned his back
to the werewolves. He sighed, clearly uncomfortable.

“Carlisle ’s right. ” Jasper spoke only to us; he seemed to be trying to ignore the audience behind him. “
They ’ll fight like children. The two most important things you ’ll need to remember are, first, don ’t let them
get their arms around you and, second, don ’t go for the obvious kill. That ’s all they ’ll be prepared for. As
long as you come at them from the side and keep moving, they ’ll be too confused to respond effectively.
Emmett? ”




Emmett stepped out of the line with a huge smile.

Jasper backed toward the north end of the opening between the allied enemies. He waved Emmett
forward.

“Okay, Emmett first. He ’s the best example of a newborn attack. ”

Emmett ’s eyes narrowed. “I’ll try not to break anything, ” he muttered.

Jasper grinned. “What I meant is that Emmett relies on his strength. He ’s very straightforward about the
attack. The newborns won ’t be trying anything subtle, either. Just go for the easy kill, Emmett. ”

Jasper backed up a few more paces, his body tensing.

“Okay, Emmett — try to catch me. ”

And I couldn ’t see Jasper anymore — he was a blur as Emmett charged him like a bear, grinning while
he snarled. Emmett was impossibly quick, too, but not like Jasper. It looked like Jasper had no more
substance than a ghost — any time it seemed Emmett ’s big hands had him for sure, Emmett ’s fingers
clenched around nothing but the air. Beside me, Edward leaned forward intently, his eyes locked on the
brawl. Then Emmett froze.

Jasper had him from behind, his teeth an inch from his throat.

Emmett cussed.

There was a muttered rumble of appreciation from the watching wolves.

“Again, ” Emmett insisted, his smile gone.

“It’s my turn, ” Edward protested. My fingers tensed around his.

“In a minute. ” Jasper grinned, stepping back. “I want to show Bella something first. ”

I watched with anxious eyes as he waved Alice forward.

“I know you worry about her, ” he explained to me as she danced blithely into the ring. “I want to show
you why that ’s not necessary. ”

Though I knew that Jasper would never allow any harm to come to Alice, it was still hard to watch as he
sank back into a crouch facing her. Alice stood motionlessly, looking tiny as a doll after Emmett, smiling
to herself. Jasper shifted forward, then slinked to her left.

Alice closed her eyes.

My heart thumped unevenly as Jasper stalked toward where Alice stood.

Jasper sprang, disappearing. Suddenly he was on the other side of Alice. She didn ’t appear to have
moved.

Jasper wheeled and launched himself at her again, only to land in a crouch behind her like the first time;
all the while Alice stood smiling with her eyes closed.

I watched Alice more carefully now.

She was moving — I’d just been missing it, distracted by Jasper ’s attacks. She took a small step




forward at the exact second that Jasper ’s body flew through the spot where she ’d just been standing.
She took another step, while Jasper ’s grasping hands whistled past where her waist had been.

Jasper closed in, and Alice began to move faster. She was dancing — spiraling and twisting and curling in
on herself. Jasper was her partner, lunging, reaching through her graceful patterns, never touching her,
like every movement was choreographed. Finally, Alice laughed.

Out of nowhere she was perched on Jasper ’s back, her lips at his neck.

“Gotcha, ” she said, and kissed his throat.

Jasper chuckled, shaking his head. “You truly are one frightening little monster. ”

The wolves muttered again. This time the sound was wary.

“It’s good for them to learn some respect, ” Edward murmured, amused. Then he spoke louder. “My
turn. ”

He squeezed my hand before he let it go.

Alice came to take his place beside me. “Cool, huh? ” she asked me smugly.

“Very,” I agreed, not looking away from Edward as he glided noiselessly toward Jasper, his movements
lithe and watchful as a jungle cat.

“I’ve got my eye on you, Bella, ” she whispered suddenly, her voice pitched so low that I could barely
hear, though her lips were at my ear.

My gaze flickered to her face and then back to Edward. He was intent on Jasper, both of them feinting
as he closed the distance.

Alice ’s expression was full of reproach.

“I’ll warn him if your plans get any more defined, ” she threatened in the same low murmur. “It doesn ’t
help anything for you to put yourself in danger. Do you think either of them would give up if you died?
They ’d still fight, we all would. You can ’t change anything, so just be good, okay? ”

I grimaced, trying to ignore her.

“I’m watching, ” she repeated.

Edward had closed on Jasper now, and this fight was more even than either of the others. Jasper had the
century of experience to guide him, and he tried to go on instinct alone as much as he could, but his
thoughts always gave him away a fraction of a second before he acted. Edward was slightly faster, but
the moves Jasper used were unfamiliar to him. They came at each other again and again, neither one able
to gain the advantage, instinctive snarls erupting constantly. It was hard to watch, but harder to look
away. They moved too fast for me to really understand what they were doing. Now and then the sharp
eyes of the wolves would catch my attention. I had a feeling the wolves were getting more out of this than
I was — maybe more than they should.

Eventually, Carlisle cleared his throat.

Jasper laughed, and took a step back. Edward straightened up and grinned at him.

“Back to work, ” Jasper consented. “We’ll call it a draw. ”




Everyone took turns, Carlisle, then Rosalie, Esme, and Emmett again. I squinted through my lashes,
cringing as Jasper attacked Esme. That one was the hardest to watch. Then he slowed down, still not
quite enough for me to understand his motions, and gave more instruction.

“You see what I ’m doing here? ” he would ask. “Yes, just like that, ” he encouraged. “Concentrate on the
sides. Don ’t forget where their target will be. Keep moving. ”

Edward was always focused, watching and also listening to what others couldn ’t see.

It got more difficult to follow as my eyes got heavier. I hadn ’t been sleeping well lately, anyway, and it
was approaching a solid twenty-four hours since the last time I ’d slept. I leaned against Edward ’s side,
and let my eyelids droop.

“We’re about finished, ” he whispered.

Jasper confirmed that, turning toward the wolves for the first time, his expression uncomfortable again. “
We’ll be doing this tomorrow. Please feel welcome to observe again. ”

“Yes,” Edward answered in Sam ’s cool voice. “We’ll be here. ”

Then Edward sighed, patted my arm, and stepped away from me. He turned to his family.

“The pack thinks it would be helpful to be familiar with each of our scents — so they don ’t make
mistakes later. If we could hold very still, it will make it easier for them. ”

“Certainly, ” Carlisle said to Sam. “Whatever you need. ”

There was a gloomy, throaty grumble from the wolf pack as they all rose to their feet.

My eyes were wide again, exhaustion forgotten.

The deep black of the night was just beginning to fade — the sun brightening the clouds, though it hadn ’t
cleared the horizon yet, far away on the other side of the mountains. As they approached, it was
suddenly possible to make out shapes . . . colors.

Sam was in the lead, of course. Unbelievably huge, black as midnight, a monster straight out of my
nightmares — literally; after the first time I ’d seen Sam and the others in the meadow, they ’d starred in
my bad dreams more than once.

Now that I could see them all, match the vastness with each pair of eyes, it looked like more than ten.
The pack was overwhelming.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw that Edward was watching me, carefully evaluating my reaction.

Sam approached Carlisle where he stood in the front, the huge pack right on his tail. Jasper stiffened, but
Emmett, on the other side of Carlisle, was grinning and relaxed.

Sam sniffed at Carlisle, seeming to wince slightly as he did. Then he moved on to Jasper.

My eyes ran down the wary brace of wolves. I was sure I could pick out a few of the new additions.
There was a light gray wolf that was much smaller than the others, the hackles on the back of his neck
raised in distaste. There was another, the color of desert sand, who seemed gangly and uncoordinated
beside the rest. A low whine broke through the sandy wolf ’s control when Sam ’s advance left him
isolated between Carlisle and Jasper.




I stopped at the wolf just behind Sam. His fur was reddish-brown and longer than the others, shaggy in
comparison. He was almost as tall as Sam, the second largest in the group. His stance was casual,
somehow exuding nonchalance over what the rest obviously considered an ordeal.

The enormous russet-colored wolf seemed to feel my gaze, and he looked up at me with familiar black
eyes.

I stared back at him, trying to believe what I already knew. I could feel the wonder and fascination on my
face.

The wolf ’s muzzle fell open, pulling back over his teeth. It would have been a frightening expression,
except that his tongue lolled out the side in a wolfy grin.

I giggled.

Jacob’s grin widened over his sharp teeth. He left his place in line, ignoring the eyes of his pack as they
followed him. He trotted past Edward and Alice to stand not two feet away from me. He stopped there,
his gaze flickering briefly toward Edward.

Edward stood motionless, a statue, his eyes still assessing my reaction.

Jacob crouched down on his front legs and dropped his head so that his face was no higher than mine,
staring at me, measuring my response just as much as Edward was.

“Jacob?” I breathed.

The answering rumble deep in his chest sounded like a chuckle.

I reached my hand out, my fingers trembling slightly, and touched the red-brown fur on the side of his
face.

The black eyes closed, and Jacob leaned his huge head into my hand. A thrumming hum resonated in this
throat.

The fur was both soft and rough, and warm against my skin. I ran my fingers through it curiously, learning
the texture, stroking his neck where the color deepened. I hadn ’t realized how close I ’d gotten; without
warning, Jacob suddenly licked my face from chin to hairline.

“Ew! Gross, Jake! ” I complained, jumping back and smacking at him, just as I would have if he were
human. He dodged out of the way, and the coughing bark that came through his teeth was obviously
laughter.

I wiped my face on the sleeve of my shirt, unable to keep from laughing with him.

It was at that point that I realized that everyone was watching us, the Cullens and the werewolves — the
Cullens with perplexed and somewhat disgusted expressions. It was hard to read the wolves ’ faces. I
thought Sam looked unhappy.

And then there was Edward, on edge and clearly disappointed. I realized he ’d been hoping for a different
reaction from me. Like screaming and running away in terror.

Jacob made the laughing sound again.

The other wolves were backing away now, not taking their eyes off the Cullens as they departed. Jacob
stood by my side, watching them go. Soon, they disappeared into the murky forest. Only two hesitated




by the trees, watching Jacob, their postures radiating anxiety.

Edward sighed, and — ignoring Jacob — came to stand on my other side, taking my hand.

“Ready to go? ” he asked me.

Before I could answer, he was staring over me at Jacob.

“I’ve not quite figured out all the details yet, ” he said, answering a question in Jacob ’s thoughts.

The Jacob-wolf grumbled sullenly.

“It’s more complicated than that, ” Edward said. “Don’t concern yourself; I ’ll make sure it ’s safe.”

“What are you talking about? ” I demanded.

“Just discussing strategy, ” Edward said.

Jacob’s head swiveled back and forth, looking at our faces. Then, suddenly, he bolted for the forest. As
he darted away, I noticed for the first time a square of folded black fabric secured to his back leg.

“Wait, ” I called, one hand stretching out automatically to reach after him. But he disappeared into the
trees in seconds, the other two wolves following.

“Why did he leave? ” I asked, hurt.

“He’s coming back, ” Edward said. He sighed. “He wants to be able to talk for himself. ”

I watched the edge of the forest where Jacob had vanished, leaning into Edward ’s side again. I was on
the point of collapse, but I was fighting it.

Jacob loped back into view, on two legs this time. His broad chest was bare, his hair tangled and shaggy.
He wore only a pair of black sweat pants, his feet bare to the cold ground. He was alone now, but I
suspected that his friends lingered in the trees, invisible.

It didn ’t take him long to cross the field, though he gave a wide berth to the Cullens, who stood talking
quietly in a loose circle.

“Okay, bloodsucker, ” Jacob said when he was a few feet from us, evidently continuing the conversation I
’d missed. “What’s so complicated about it? ”

“I have to consider every possibility, ” Edward said, unruffled. “What if someone gets by you? ”

Jacob snorted at that idea. “Okay, so leave her on the reservation. We ’re making Collin and Brady stay
behind anyway. She ’ll be safe there. ”

I scowled. “Are you talking about me? ”

“I just want to know what he plans to do with you during the fight, ” Jacob explained.

“Do with me? ”

“You can ’t stay in Forks, Bella. ” Edward’s voice was pacifying. “They know where to look for you
there. What if someone slipped by us? ”

My stomach dropped and the blood drained from my face. “Charlie? ” I gasped.




“He’ll be with Billy, ” Jacob assured me quickly. “If my dad has to commit a murder to get him there, he ’ll
do it. Probably it won ’t take that much. It ’s this Saturday, right? There ’s a game. ”

“This Saturday? ” I asked, my head spinning. I was too lightheaded to control my wildly random thoughts.
I frowned at Edward. “Well, crap! There goes your graduation present. ”

Edward laughed. “It’s the thought that counts, ” he reminded me. “You can give the tickets to someone
else.”

Inspiration came swiftly. “Angela and Ben, ” I decided at once. “At least that will get them out of town. ”

He touched my cheek. “You can ’t evacuate everyone, ” he said in a gentle voice. “Hiding you is just a
precaution. I told you — we’ll have no problem now. There won ’t be enough of them to keep us
entertained. ”

“But what about keeping her in La Push? ” Jacob interjected, impatient.

“She’s been back and forth too much, ” Edward said. “She’s left trails all over the place. Alice only sees
very young vampires coming on the hunt, but obviously someone created them. There is someone more
experienced behind this. Whoever he ” — Edward paused to look at me — “or she is, this could all be a
distraction. Alice will see if he decides to look himself, but we could be very busy at the time that
decision is made. Maybe someone is counting on that. I can ’t leave her somewhere she ’s been
frequently. She has to be hard to find, just in case. It ’s a very long shot, but I ’m not taking chances. ”

I stared at Edward as he explained, my forehead creasing. He patted my arm.

“Just being overcautious, ” he promised.

Jacob gestured to the deep forest east of us, to the vast expanse of the Olympic Mountains.

“So hide her here, ” he suggested. “There ’s a million possibilities — places either one of us could be in
just a few minutes if there ’s a need.”

Edward shook his head. “Her scent is too strong and, combined with mine, especially distinct. Even if I
carried her, it would leave a trail. Our trace is all over the range, but in conjunction with Bella ’s scent, it
would catch their attention. We ’re not sure exactly which path they ’ll take, because they don’t know yet.
If they crossed her scent before they found us . . . ”

Both of them grimaced at the same time, their eyebrows pulling together.

“You see the difficulties. ”

“There has to be a way to make it work, ” Jacob muttered. He glared toward the forest, pursing his lips.

I swayed on my feet. Edward put his arm around my waist, pulling me closer and supporting my weight.

“I need to get you home — you’re exhausted. And Charlie will be waking up soon. . . . ”

“Wait a sec, ” Jacob said, wheeling back to us, his eyes bright. “My scent disgusts you, right? ”

“Hmm, not bad. ” Edward was two steps ahead. “It’s possible. ” He turned toward his family. “Jasper?”
he called.

Jasper looked up curiously. He walked over with Alice a half step behind. Her face was frustrated again.




“Okay, Jacob.” Edward nodded at him.

Jacob turned toward me with a strange mixture of emotion on his face. He was clearly excited by
whatever this new plan of his was, but he was also still uneasy so close to his enemy allies. And then it
was my turn to be wary as he held his arms out toward me.

Edward took a deep breath.

“We’re going to see if I can confuse the scent enough to hide your trail, ” Jacob explained.

I stared at his open arms suspiciously.

“You’re going to have to let him carry you, Bella, ” Edward told me. His voice was calm, but I could hear
the subdued distaste.

I frowned.

Jacob rolled his eyes, impatient, and reached down to yank me up into his arms.

“Don’t be such a baby, ” he muttered.

But his eyes flickered to Edward, just like mine did. Edward ’s face was composed and smooth. He
spoke to Jasper.

“Bella ’s scent is so much more potent to me — I thought it would be a fairer test if someone else tried. ”

Jacob turned away from them and paced swiftly into the woods. I didn ’t say anything as the dark closed
around us. I was pouting, uncomfortable in Jacob ’s arms. It felt too intimate to me — surely he didn ’t
need to hold me quite so tightly — and I couldn ’t help but wonder what it felt like to him. It reminded me
of my last afternoon in La Push, and I didn ’t want to think about that. I folded my arms, annoyed when
the brace on my hand intensified the memory.

We didn ’t go far; he made a wide arc and came back into the clearing from a different direction, maybe
half a football field away from our original departure point. Edward was there alone and Jacob headed
toward him.

“You can put me down now. ”

“I don’t want to take a chance of messing up the experiment. ” His walk slowed and his arms tightened.

“You are so annoying, ” I muttered.

“Thanks. ”

Out of nowhere, Jasper and Alice stood beside Edward. Jacob took one more step, and then set me
down a half dozen feet from Edward. Without looking back at Jacob, I walked to Edward ’s side and
took his hand.

“Well? ” I asked.

“As long as you don ’t touch anything, Bella, I can ’t imagine someone sticking their nose close enough to
that trail to catch your scent, ” Jasper said, grimacing. “It was almost completely obscured. ”

“A definite success, ” Alice agreed, wrinkling her nose.




“And it gave me an idea. ”

“Which will work, ” Alice added confidently.

“Clever, ” Edward agreed.

“How do you stand that? ” Jacob muttered to me.

Edward ignored Jacob and looked at me while he explained. “We’re — well, you’re — going to leave a
false trail to the clearing, Bella. The newborns are hunting, your scent will excite them, and they ’ll come
exactly the way we want them to without being careful about it. Alice can already see that this will work.
When they catch our scent, they ’ll split up and try to come at us from two sides. Half will go through the
forest, where her vision suddenly disappears. . . . ”

“Yes!” Jacob hissed.

Edward smiled at him, a smile of true comradeship.

I felt sick. How could they be so eager for this? How could I stand having both of them in danger? I
couldn ’t.

I wouldn ’t.

“Not a chance, ” Edward said suddenly, his voice disgusted. It made me jump, worrying that he ’d
somehow heard my resolve, but his eyes were on Jasper.

“I know, I know, ” Jasper said quickly. “I didn ’t even consider it, not really. ”

Alice stepped on his foot.

“If Bella was actually there in the clearing, ” Jasper explained to her, “it would drive them insane. They
wouldn ’t be able to concentrate on anything but her. It would make picking them off truly easy. . . . ”

Edward’s glare had Jasper backtracking.

“Of course it ’s too dangerous for her. It was just an errant thought, ” he said quickly. But he looked at me
from the corner of his eyes, and the look was wistful.

“No,” Edward said. His voice rang with finality.

“You’re right, ” Jasper said. He took Alice ’s hand and started back to the others. “Best two out of three?
” I heard him ask her as they went to practice again.

Jacob stared after him in disgust.

“Jasper looks at things from a military perspective, ” Edward quietly defended his brother. “He looks at
all the options — it’s thoroughness, not callousness. ”

Jacob snorted.

He’d edged closer unconsciously, drawn by his absorption in the planning. He stood only three feet from
Edward now, and, standing there between them, I could feel the physical tension in the air. It was like
static, an uncomfortable charge.

Edward got back to business. “I’ll bring her here Friday afternoon to lay the false trail. You can meet us




afterward, and carry her to a place I know. Completely out of the way, and easily defensible, not that it
will come to that. I ’ll take another route there. ”

“And then what? Leave her with a cell phone? ” Jacob asked critically.

“You have a better idea? ”

Jacob was suddenly smug. “Actually, I do. ”

“Oh. . . . Again, dog, not bad at all. ”

Jacob turned to me quickly, as if determined to play the good guy by keeping me in the conversation. “
We tried to talk Seth into staying behind with the younger two. He ’s still too young, but he ’s stubborn
and he ’s resisting. So I thought of a new assignment for him — cell phone. ”

I tried to look like I got it. No one was fooled.

“As long as Seth Clearwater is in his wolf form, he ’ll be connected to the pack, ” Edward said. “Distance
isn ’t a problem? ” he added, turning to Jacob.

“Nope.”

“Three hundred miles? ” Edward asked. “That ’s impressive. ”

Jacob was the good guy again. “That ’s the farthest we ’ve ever gone to experiment, ” he told me. “Still
clear as a bell. ”

I nodded absently; I was reeling from the idea that little Seth Clearwater was already a werewolf, too,
and that made it difficult to concentrate. I could see his bright smile, so much like a younger Jacob, in my
head; he couldn ’t be more than fifteen, if he was that. His enthusiasm at the council meeting bonfire
suddenly took on new meaning. . . .

“It’s a good idea. ” Edward seemed reluctant to admit this. “I’ll feel better with Seth there, even without
the instantaneous communication. I don ’t know if I ’d be able to leave Bella there alone. To think it ’s
come to this, though! Trusting werewolves! ”

“Fighting with vampires instead of against them! ” Jacob mirrored Edward ’s tone of disgust.

“Well, you still get to fight against some of them, ” Edward said.

Jacob smiled. “That ’s the reason we ’re here.”



19. SELFISH

EDWARD CARRIED ME HOME IN HIS ARMS, EXPECTING that I wouldn ’t be able to hang on. I
must have fallen asleep on the way.

When I woke up, I was in my bed and the dull light coming through my windows slanted in from a
strange angle. Almost like it was afternoon.

I yawned and stretched, my fingers searching for him and coming up empty.




“Edward?” I mumbled.

My seeking fingers encountered something cool and smooth. His hand.

“Are you really awake this time? ” he murmured.

“Mmm, ” I sighed in assent. “Have there been a lot of false alarms? ”

“You’ve been very restless — talking all day. ”

“All day?” I blinked and looked at the windows again.

“You had a long night, ” he said reassuringly. “You’d earned a day in bed. ”

I sat up, and my head spun. The light was coming in my window from the west. “Wow.”

“Hungry? ” he guessed. “Do you want breakfast in bed? ”

“I’ll get it, ” I groaned, stretching again. “I need to get up and move around. ”

He held my hand on the way to the kitchen, eyeing me carefully, like I might fall over. Or maybe he
thought I was sleepwalking.

I kept it simple, throwing a couple of Pop-Tarts in the toaster. I caught a glimpse of myself in the
reflective chrome.

“Ugh, I ’m a mess. ”

“It was a long night, ” he said again. “You should have stayed here and slept. ”

“Right! And missed everything. You know, you need to start accepting the fact that I ’m part of the
family now. ”

He smiled. “I could probably get used to that idea. ”

I sat down with my breakfast, and he sat next to me. When I lifted the Pop-Tart to take the first bite, I
noticed him staring at my hand. I looked down, and saw that I was still wearing the gift that Jacob had
given me at the party.

“May I?” he asked, reaching for the tiny wooden wolf.

I swallowed noisily. “Um, sure. ”

He moved his hand under the charm bracelet and balanced the little figurine in his snowy palm. For a
fleeting moment, I was afraid. Just the slightest twist of his fingers could crush it into splinters.

But of course Edward wouldn ’t do that. I was embarrassed I ’d even had the thought. He only weighed
the wolf in his palm for a moment, and then let it fall. It swung lightly from my wrist.

I tried to read the expression in his eyes. All I could see was thoughtfulness; he kept everything else
hidden, if there was anything else.

“Jacob Black can give you presents. ”

It wasn ’t a question, or an accusation. Just a statement of fact. But I knew he was referring to my last
birthday and the fit I ’d thrown over gifts; I hadn ’t wanted any. Especially not from Edward. It wasn ’t




entirely logical, and, of course, everyone had ignored me anyway. . . .

“You’ve given me presents, ” I reminded him. “You know I like the homemade kind. ”

He pursed his lips for a second. “How about hand-me-downs? Are those acceptable? ”

“What do you mean? ”

“This bracelet. ” His finger traced a circle around my wrist. “You’ll be wearing this a lot? ”

I shrugged.

“Because you wouldn ’t want to hurt his feelings, ” he suggested shrewdly.

“Sure, I guess so. ”

“Don’t you think it ’s fair, then, ” he asked, looking down at my hand as he spoke. He turned it palm up,
and ran his finger along the veins in my wrist. “If I have a little representation? ”

“Representation? ”

“A charm — something to keep me on your mind. ”

“You’re in every thought I have. I don ’t need reminders. ”

“If I gave you something, would you wear it? ” he pressed.

“A hand-me-down? ” I checked.

“Yes, something I ’ve had for a while. ” He smiled his angel ’s smile.

If this was the only reaction to Jacob ’s gift, I would take it gladly. “Whatever makes you happy. ”

“Have you noticed the inequality? ” he asked, and his voice turned accusing. “Because I certainly have. ”

“What inequality? ”

His eyes narrowed. “Everyone else is able to get away with giving you things. Everyone but me. I would
have loved to get you a graduation present, but I didn ’t. I knew it would have upset you more than if
anyone else did. That ’s utterly unfair. How do you explain yourself? ”

“Easy. ” I shrugged. “You’re more important than everyone else. And you ’ve given me you. That ’s
already more than I deserve, and anything else you give me just throws us more out of balance. ”

He processed that for a moment, and then rolled his eyes. “The way you regard me is ludicrous. ”

I chewed my breakfast calmly. I knew he wouldn ’t listen if I told him that he had that backward.

Edward’s phone buzzed.

He looked at the number before he opened it. “What is it, Alice? ”

He listened, and I waited for his reaction, suddenly nervous. But whatever she said didn ’t surprise him.
He sighed a few times.

“I sort of guessed as much, ” he told her, staring into my eyes, a disapproving arch to his brow. “She was




talking in her sleep. ”

I flushed. What had I said now?

“I’ll take care of it, ” he promised.

He glared at me as he shut his phone. “Is there something you ’d like to talk to me about? ”

I deliberated for a moment. Given Alice ’s warning last night, I could guess why she ’d called. And then
remembering the troubled dreams I ’d had as I’d slept through the day — dreams where I chased after
Jasper, trying to follow him and find the clearing in the maze-like woods, knowing I would find Edward
there . . . Edward, and the monsters who wanted to kill me, but not caring about them because I ’d
already made my decision — I could also guess what Edward had overheard while I ’d slept.

I pursed my lips for a moment, not quite able to meet his gaze. He waited.

“I like Jasper ’s idea,” I finally said.

He groaned.

“I want to help. I have to do something,” I insisted.

“It wouldn ’t help to have you in danger. ”

“Jasper thinks it would. This is his area of expertise. ”

Edward glowered at me.

“You can ’t keep me away, ” I threatened. “I’m not going to hide out in the forest while you all take risks
for me. ”

Suddenly, he was fighting a smile. “Alice doesn ’t see you in the clearing, Bella. She sees you stumbling
around lost in the woods. You won ’t be able to find us; you ’ll just make it more time consuming for me
to find you afterward. ”

I tried to keep as cool as he was. “That ’s because Alice didn ’t factor in Seth Clearwater, ” I said
politely. “If she had, of course, she wouldn ’t have been able to see anything at all. But it sounds like Seth
wants to be there as much as I do. It shouldn ’t be too hard to persuade him to show me the way. ”

Anger flickered across his face, and then he took a deep breath and composed himself. “That might have
worked . . . if you hadn ’t told me. Now I ’ll just ask Sam to give Seth certain orders. Much as he might
want to, Seth won ’t be able to ignore that kind of injunction. ”

I kept my smile pleasant. “But why would Sam give those orders? If I tell him how it would help for me
to be there? I ’ll bet Sam would rather do me a favor than you. ”

He had to compose himself again. “Maybe you ’re right. But I ’m sure Jacob would be only too eager to
give those same orders. ”

I frowned. “Jacob?”

“Jacob is second in command. Did he never tell you that? His orders have to be followed, too. ”

He had me, and by his smile, he knew it. My forehead crumpled. Jacob would be on his side — in this
one instance — I was sure. And Jacob never had told me that.




Edward took advantage of the fact that I was momentarily stumped, continuing in a suspiciously smooth
and soothing voice.

“I got a fascinating look into the pack ’s mind last night. It was better than a soap opera. I had no idea
how complex the dynamic is with such a large pack. The pull of the individual against the plural psyche . .
. Absolutely fascinating. ”

He was obviously trying to distract me. I glared at him.

“Jacob’s been keeping a lot of secrets, ” he said with a grin.

I didn ’t answer, I just kept glaring, holding on to my argument and waiting for an opening.

“For instance, did you note the smaller gray wolf there last night? ”

I nodded one stiff nod.

He chuckled. “They take all of their legends so seriously. It turns out there are things that none of their
stories prepared them for. ”

I sighed. “Okay, I’ll bite. What are you talking about? ”

“They always accepted without question that it was only the direct grandsons of the original wolf who
had the power to transform. ”

“So someone changed who wasn ’t a direct descendant? ”

“No. She’s a direct descendant, all right. ”

I blinked, and my eyes widened. “She?”

He nodded. “She knows you. Her name is Leah Clearwater. ”

“Leah’s a werewolf! ” I shrieked. “What? For how long? Why didn ’t Jacob tell me? ”

“There are things he wasn ’t allowed to share — their numbers, for instance. Like I said before, when
Sam gives an order, the pack simply isn ’t able to ignore it. Jacob was very careful to think of other things
when he was near me. Of course, after last night that ’s all out the window. ”

“I can’t believe it. Leah Clearwater! ” Suddenly, I remembered Jacob speaking of Leah and Sam, and the
way he acted as if he ’d said too much — after he ’d said something about Sam having to look in Leah ’s
eyes every day and know that he ’d broken all his promises. . . . Leah on the cliff, a tear glistening on her
cheek when Old Quil had spoken of the burden and sacrifice the Quileute sons shared. . . . And Billy,
spending time with Sue because she was having trouble with her kids . . . and here the trouble actually
was that both of them were werewolves now!

I hadn ’t given much thought to Leah Clearwater, just to grieve for her loss when Harry had passed away,
and then to pity her again when Jacob had told her story, about how the strange imprinting between Sam
and her cousin Emily had broken Leah ’s heart.

And now she was part of Sam ’s pack, hearing his thoughts . . . and unable to hide her own.

I really hate that part, Jacob had said. Everything you’re ashamed of, laid out for everyone to see.

“Poor Leah, ” I whispered.




Edward snorted. “She’s making life exceedingly unpleasant for the rest of them. I ’m not sure she
deserves your sympathy. ”

“What do you mean? ”

“It’s hard enough for them, having to share all their thoughts. Most of them try to cooperate, make it
easier. When even one member is deliberately malicious, it ’s painful for everyone. ”

“She has reason enough, ” I mumbled, still on her side.

“Oh, I know, ” he said. “The imprinting compulsion is one of the strangest things I ’ve ever witnessed in
my life, and I ’ve seen some strange things. ” He shook his head wonderingly. “The way Sam is tied to his
Emily is impossible to describe — or I should say her Sam. Sam really had no choice. It reminds me of
A Midsummer Night’s Dream with all the chaos caused by the fairies ’ love spells . . . like magic. ” He
smiled. “It’s very nearly as strong as the way I feel about you. ”

“Poor Leah, ” I said again. “But what do you mean, malicious? ”

“She’s constantly bringing up things they ’d rather not think of, ” he explained. “For example, Embry. ”

“What’s with Embry? ” I asked, surprised.

“His mother moved down from the Makah reservation seventeen years ago, when she was pregnant with
him. She ’s not Quileute. Everyone assumed she ’d left his father behind with the Makahs. But then he
joined the pack. ”

“So?”

“So the prime candidates for his father are Quil Ateara Sr., Joshua Uley, or Billy Black, all of them
married at that point, of course. ”

“No!” I gasped. Edward was right — this was exactly like a soap opera.

“Now Sam, Jacob, and Quil all wonder which of them has a half-brother. They ’d all like to think it ’s
Sam, since his father was never much of a father. But the doubt is always there. Jacob ’s never been able
to ask Billy about that. ”

“Wow. How did you get so much in one night? ”

“The pack mind is mesmerizing. All thinking together and then separately at the same time. There ’s so
much to read! ”

He sounded faintly regretful, like someone who ’d had to put down a good book just before the climax. I
laughed.

“The pack is fascinating, ” I agreed. “Almost as fascinating as you are when you ’re trying to distract me. ”

His expression became polite again — a perfect poker face.

“I have to be in that clearing, Edward. ”

“No,” he said in a very final tone.

A certain path occurred to me at that moment.




It wasn ’t so much that I had to be in the clearing. I just had to be where Edward was.

Cruel, I accused myself. Selfish, selfish, selfish! Don ’t do it!

I ignored my better instincts. I couldn ’t look at him while I spoke, though. The guilt had my eyes glued to
the table.

“Okay, look, Edward, ” I whispered. “Here’s the thing . . . I ’ve already gone crazy once. I know what
my limits are. And I can’t stand it if you leave me again.”

I didn ’t look up to see his reaction, afraid to know how much pain I was inflicting. I did hear his sudden
intake of breath and the silence that followed. I stared at the dark wooden tabletop, wishing I could take
the words back. But knowing I probably wouldn ’t. Not if it worked.

Suddenly, his arms were around me, his hands stroking my face, my arms. He was comforting me. The
guilt went into spiral mode. But the survival instinct was stronger. There was no question that he was
fundamental to my survival.

“You know it ’s not like that, Bella, ” he murmured. “I won’t be far, and it will be over quickly. ”

“I can’t stand it, ” I insisted, still staring down. “Not knowing whether or not you ’ll come back. How do I
live through that, no matter how quickly it ’s over?”

He sighed. “It’s going to be easy, Bella. There ’s no reason for your fears. ”

“None at all? ”

“None.”

“And everybody will be fine? ”

“Everyone, ” he promised.

“So there’s no way at all that I need to be in the clearing? ”

“Of course not. Alice just told me that they ’re down to nineteen. We ’ll be able to handle it easily. ”

“That ’s right — you said it was so easy that someone could sit out, ” I repeated his words from last night.
“Did you really mean that? ”

“Yes.”

It felt too simple — he had to see it coming.

“So easy that you could sit out? ”

After a long moment of silence, I finally looked up at his expression.

The poker face was back.

I took a deep breath. “So it’s one way or the other. Either there is more danger than you want me to
know about, in which case it would be right for me to be there, to do what I can to help. Or . . . it ’s
going to be so easy that they ’ll get by without you. Which way is it? ”

He didn ’t speak.




I knew what he was thinking of — the same thing I was thinking of. Carlisle. Esme. Emmett. Rosalie.
Jasper. And . . . I forced myself to think the last name. And Alice.

I wondered if I was a monster. Not the kind that he thought he was, but the real kind. The kind that hurt
people. The kind that had no limits when it came to what they wanted.

What I wanted was to keep him safe, safe with me. Did I have a limit to what I would do, what I would
sacrifice for that? I wasn ’t sure.

“You ask me to let them fight without my help? ” he said in a quiet voice.

“Yes.” I was surprised I could keep my voice even, I felt so wretched inside. “Or to let me be there.
Either way, so long as we ’re together. ”

He took a deep breath, and then exhaled slowly. He moved his hands to place them on either side of my
face, forcing me to meet his gaze. He looked into my eyes for a long time. I wondered what he was
looking for, and what it was that he found. Was the guilt as thick on my face as it was in my stomach —
sickening me?

His eyes tightened against some emotion I couldn ’t read, and he dropped one hand to pull out his phone
again.

“Alice, ” he sighed. “Could you come babysit Bella for a bit? ” He raised one eyebrow, daring me to
object to the word. “I need to speak with Jasper. ”

She evidently agreed. He put the phone away and went back to staring at my face.

“What are you going to say to Jasper? ” I whispered.

“I’m going to discuss . . . me sitting out. ”

It was easy to read in his face how difficult the words were for him.

“I’m sorry. ”

I was sorry. I hated to make him do this. Not enough that I could fake a smile and tell him to go on
ahead without me. Definitely not that much.

“Don’t apologize, ” he said, smiling just a little. “Never be afraid to tell me how you feel, Bella. If this is
what you need . . . ” He shrugged. “You are my first priority. ”

“I didn ’t mean it that way — like you have to choose me over your family. ”

“I know that. Besides, that ’s not what you asked. You gave me two alternatives that you could live with,
and I chose the one that I could live with. That ’s how compromise is supposed to work. ”

I leaned forward and rested my forehead against his chest. “Thank you, ” I whispered.

“Anytime, ” he answered, kissing my hair. “Anything. ”

We didn ’t move for a long moment. I kept my face hidden, pressed against his shirt. Two voices
struggled inside me. One that wanted to be good and brave, and one that told the good one to keep her
mouth shut.

“Who’s the third wife? ” he asked me suddenly.




“Huh? ” I said, stalling. I didn ’t remember having had that dream again.

“You were mumbling something about ‘the third wife ’ last night. The rest made a little sense, but you lost
me there. ”

“Oh. Um, yeah. That was just one of the stories that I heard at the bonfire the other night. ” I shrugged. “I
guess it stuck with me. ”

Edward leaned away from me and cocked his head to the side, probably confused by the uncomfortable
edge to my voice.

Before he could ask, Alice appeared in the kitchen doorway with a sour expression.

“You’re going to miss all the fun, ” she grumbled.

“Hello, Alice, ” he greeted her. He put one finger under my chin and tilted my face up to kiss me
goodbye.

“I’ll be back later tonight, ” he promised me. “I’ll go work this out with the others, rearrange things. ”

“Okay.”

“There ’s not much to arrange, ” Alice said. “I already told them. Emmett is pleased. ”

Edward sighed. “Of course he is. ”

He walked out the door, leaving me to face Alice.

She glared at me.

“I’m sorry, ” I apologized again. “Do you think this will make it more dangerous for you? ”

She snorted. “You worry too much, Bella. You ’re going to go prematurely gray. ”

“Why are you upset, then? ”

“Edward is such a grouch when he doesn ’t get his way. I ’m just anticipating living with him for the next
few months. ” She made a face. “I suppose, if it keeps you sane, it ’s worth it. But I wish you could
control the pessimism, Bella. It ’s so unnecessary. ”

“Would you let Jasper go without you? ” I demanded.

Alice grimaced. “That ’s different. ”

“Sure it is. ”

“Go clean yourself up, ” she ordered me. “Charlie will be home in fifteen minutes, and if you look this
ragged he ’s not going to want to let you out again. ”

Wow, I’d really lost the whole day. It felt like such a waste. I was glad I wouldn ’t always have to
squander my time with sleeping.

I was entirely presentable when Charlie got home — fully dressed, hair decent, and in the kitchen putting
his dinner on the table. Alice sat in Edward ’s usual place, and this seemed to make Charlie ’s day.

“Howdy, Alice! How are you, hon? ”




“I’m fine, Charlie, thanks. ”

“I see you finally made it out of bed, sleepyhead, ” he said to me as I sat beside him, before turning back
to Alice. “Everyone ’s talking about that party your parents threw last night. I ’ll bet you ’ve got one heck
of a clean-up job ahead of you. ”

Alice shrugged. Knowing her, it was already done.

“It was worth it, ” she said. “It was a great party. ”

“Where’s Edward? ” Charlie asked, a little grudgingly. “Is he helping clean up? ”

Alice sighed and her face turned tragic. It was probably an act, but it was too perfect for me to be
positive. “No. He’s off planning the weekend with Emmett and Carlisle. ”

“Hiking again? ”

Alice nodded, her face suddenly forlorn. “Yes. They ’re all going, except me. We always go
backpacking at the end of the school year, sort of a celebration, but this year I decided I ’d rather shop
than hike, and not one of them will stay behind with me. I ’m abandoned. ”

Her face puckered, the expression so devastated that Charlie leaned toward her automatically, one hand
reaching out, looking for some way to help. I glared at her suspiciously. What was she doing?

“Alice, honey, why don ’t you come stay with us, ” Charlie offered. “I hate to think of you all alone in that
big house. ”

She sighed. Something squashed my foot under the table.

“Ow!” I protested.

Charlie turned to me. “What?”

Alice shot me a frustrated look. I could tell she thought that I was very slow tonight.

“Stubbed my toe, ” I muttered.

“Oh.” He looked back at Alice. “So, how ’bout it? ”

She stepped on my foot again, not quite so hard this time.

“Er, Dad, you know, we don ’t really have the best accommodations here. I bet Alice doesn ’t want to
sleep on my floor. . . . ”

Charlie pursed his lips. Alice pulled out the devastated expression again.

“Maybe Bella should stay up there with you, ” he suggested. “Just until your folks get back. ”

“Oh, would you, Bella? ” Alice smiled at me radiantly. “You don ’t mind shopping with me, right? ”

“Sure,” I agreed. “Shopping. Okay. ”

“When are they leaving? ” Charlie asked.

Alice made another face. “Tomorrow. ”




“When do you want me? ” I asked.

“After dinner, I guess, ” she said, and then put one finger to her chin, thoughtful. “You don ’t have anything
going on Saturday, do you? I want to get out of town to shop, and it will be an all-day thing. ”

“Not Seattle, ” Charlie interjected, his eyebrows pulling together.

“Of course not, ” Alice agreed at once, though we both knew Seattle would be plenty safe on Saturday. “
I was thinking Olympia, maybe. . . . ”

“You’ll like that, Bella. ” Charlie was cheerful with relief. “Go get your fill of the city. ”

“Yeah, Dad. It ’ll be great. ”

With one easy conversation, Alice had cleared my schedule for the battle.

Edward returned not much later. He accepted Charlie ’s wishes for a nice trip without surprise. He
claimed they were leaving early in the morning, and said goodnight before the usual time. Alice left with
him.

I excused myself soon after they left.

“You can ’t be tired, ” Charlie protested.

“A little, ” I lied.

“No wonder you like to skip the parties, ” he muttered. “It takes you so long to recover. ”

Upstairs, Edward was lying across my bed.

“What time are we meeting with the wolves? ” I murmured as I went to join him.

“In an hour. ”

“That ’s good. Jake and his friends need to get some sleep. ”

“They don ’t need as much as you do, ” he pointed out.

I moved to another topic, assuming he was about to try to talk me into staying home. “Did Alice tell you
that she ’s kidnapping me again? ”

He grinned. “Actually, she ’s not.”

I stared at him, confused, and he laughed quietly at my expression.

“I’m the only one who has permission to hold you hostage, remember? ” he said. “Alice is going hunting
with the rest of them. ” He sighed. “I guess I don ’t need to do that now. ”

“You’re kidnapping me? ”

He nodded.

I thought about that briefly. No Charlie listening downstairs, checking on me every so often. And no
houseful of wide-awake vampires with their intrusively sensitive hearing. . . . Just him and me — really
alone.




“Is that all right? ” he asked, concerned by my silence.

“Well . . . sure, except for one thing. ”

“What thing? ” His eyes were anxious. It was mind-boggling, but, somehow, he still seemed unsure of his
hold on me. Maybe I needed to make myself more clear.

“Why didn ’t Alice tell Charlie you were leaving tonight?” I asked.

He laughed, relieved.

I enjoyed the trip to the clearing more than I had last night. I still felt guilty, still afraid, but I wasn ’t
terrified anymore. I could function. I could see past what was coming, and almost believe that maybe it
would be okay. Edward was apparently fine with the idea of missing the fight . . . and that made it very
hard not to believe him when he said this would be easy. He wouldn ’t leave his family if he didn ’t believe
it himself. Maybe Alice was right, and I did worry too much.

We got to the clearing last.

Jasper and Emmett were already wrestling — just warming up from the sounds of their laughter. Alice
and Rosalie lounged on the hard ground, watching. Esme and Carlisle were talking a few yards away,
heads close together, fingers linked, not paying attention.

It was much brighter tonight, the moon shining through the thin clouds, and I could easily see the three
wolves that sat around the edge of the practice ring, spaced far apart to watch from different angles.

It was also easy to recognize Jacob; I would have known him at once, even if he hadn ’t looked up and
stared at the sound of our approach.

“Where are the rest of the wolves? ” I wondered.

“They don ’t all need to be here. One would do the job, but Sam didn ’t trust us enough to just send
Jacob, though Jacob was willing. Quil and Embry are his usual . . . I guess you could call them his
wingmen. ”

“Jacob trusts you. ”

Edward nodded. “He trusts us not to try to kill him. That ’s about it, though. ”

“Are you participating tonight? ” I asked, hesitant. I knew this was going to be almost as hard for him as
being left behind would have been for me. Maybe harder.

“I’ll help Jasper when he needs it. He wants to try some unequal groupings, teach them how to deal with
multiple attackers. ”

He shrugged.

And a fresh wave of panic shattered my brief sense of confidence.

They were still outnumbered. I was making that worse.

I stared at the field, trying to hide my reaction.

It was the wrong place to look, struggling as I was to lie to myself, to convince myself that everything
would work out as I needed it to. Because when I forced my eyes away from the Cullens — away from




the image of their play fighting that would be real and deadly in just a few days — Jacob caught my eyes
and smiled.

It was the same wolfy grin as before, his eyes scrunching the way they did when he was human.

It was hard to believe that, not so long ago, I ’d found the werewolves frightening — lost sleep to
nightmares about them.

I knew, without asking, which of the others was Embry and which was Quil. Because Embry was clearly
the thinner gray wolf with the dark spots on his back, who sat so patiently watching, while Quil — deep
chocolate brown, lighter over his face — twitched constantly, looking like he was dying to join in the
mock fight. They weren ’t monsters, even like this. They were friends.

Friends who didn ’t look nearly as indestructible as Emmett and Jasper did, moving faster than cobra
strikes while the moonlight glinted off their granite-hard skin. Friends who didn ’t seem to understand the
danger involved here. Friends who were still somewhat mortal, friends who could bleed, friends who
could die. . . .

Edward’s confidence was reassuring, because it was plain that he wasn ’t truly worried about his family.
But would it hurt him if something happened to the wolves? Was there any reason for him to be anxious,
if that possibility didn ’t bother him? Edward ’s confidence only applied to one set of my fears.

I tried to smile back at Jacob, swallowing against the lump in my throat. I didn ’t seem to get it right.

Jacob sprang lightly to his feet, his agility at odds with his sheer mass, and trotted over to where Edward
and I stood on the fringe of things.

“Jacob,” Edward greeted him politely.

Jacob ignored him, his dark eyes on me. He put his head down to my level, as he had yesterday, cocking
it to one side. A low whimper escaped his muzzle.

“I’m fine, ” I answered, not needing the translation that Edward was about to give. “Just worried, you
know.”

Jacob continued to stare at me.

“He wants to know why, ” Edward murmured.

Jacob growled — not a threatening sound, an annoyed sound — and Edward ’s lips twitched.

“What?” I asked.

“He thinks my translations leave something to be desired. What he actually thought was, ‘That ’s really
stupid. What is there to be worried about? ’ I edited, because I thought it was rude. ”

I halfway smiled, too anxious to really feel amused. “There ’s plenty to be worried about, ” I told Jacob. “
Like a bunch of really stupid wolves getting themselves hurt. ”

Jacob laughed his coughing bark.

Edward sighed. “Jasper wants help. You ’ll be okay without a translator? ”

“I’ll manage. ”




Edward looked at me wistfully for one minute, his expression hard to understand, then turned his back
and strode over to where Jasper waited.

I sat down where I was. The ground was cold and uncomfortable.

Jacob took a step forward, then looked back at me, and a low whine rose in his throat. He took another
half-step.

“Go on without me, ” I told him. “I don’t want to watch. ”

Jacob leaned his head to the side again for a moment, and then folded himself on to the ground beside me
with a rumbling sigh.

“Really, you can go ahead, ” I assured him. He didn ’t respond, he just put his head down on his paws.

I stared up at the bright silver clouds, not wanting to see the fight. My imagination had more than enough
fuel. A breeze blew through the clearing, and I shivered.

Jacob scooted himself closer to me, pressing his warm fur against my left side.

“Er, thanks, ” I muttered.

After a few minutes, I leaned against his wide shoulder. It was much more comfortable that way.

The clouds moved slowly across the sky, dimming and brightening as thick patches crossed the moon
and passed on.

Absently, I began pulling my fingers through the fur on his neck. That same strange humming sound that
he’d made yesterday rumbled in his throat. It was a homey kind of sound. Rougher, wilder than a cat ’s
purr, but conveying the same sense of contentment.

“You know, I never had a dog, ” I mused. “I always wanted one, but Renée ’s allergic. ”

Jacob laughed; his body shook under me.

“Aren’t you worried about Saturday at all? ” I asked.

He turned his enormous head toward me, so that I could see one of his eyes roll.

“I wish I could feel that positive. ”

He leaned his head against my leg and started humming again. And it did make me feel just a little bit
better.

“So we’ve got some hiking to do tomorrow, I guess. ”

He rumbled; the sound was enthusiastic.

“It might be a long hike, ” I warned him. “Edward doesn ’t judge distances the way a normal person does.
”

Jacob barked another laugh.

I settled deeper into his warm fur, resting my head against his neck.

It was strange. Even though he was in this bizarre form, this felt more like the way Jake and I used to be




— the easy, effortless friendship that was as natural as breathing in and out — than the last few times I ’d
been with Jacob while he was human. Odd that I should find that again here, when I ’d thought this wolf
thing was the cause of its loss.

The killing games continued in the clearing, and I stared at the hazy moon.



20. COMPROMISE

EVERYTHING WAS READY.

I was packed for my two-day visit with “Alice, ” and my bag waited for me on the passenger seat of my
truck. I ’d given the concert tickets to Angela, Ben, and Mike. Mike was going to take Jessica, which
was exactly as I ’d hoped. Billy had borrowed Old Quil Ateara ’s boat and invited Charlie down for some
open sea fishing before the afternoon game started. Collin and Brady, the two youngest werewolves,
were staying behind to protect La Push — though they were just children, both of them only thirteen.
Still, Charlie would be safer than anyone left in Forks.

I had done all that I could do. I tried to accept that, and put the things that were outside of my control out
of my head, for tonight at least. One way or another, this would all be over in forty-eight hours. The
thought was almost comforting.

Edward had requested that I relax, and I was going to do my best.

“For this one night, could we try to forget everything besides just you and me? ” he’d pleaded, unleashing
the full force of his eyes on me. “It seems like I can never get enough time like that. I need to be with you.
Just you. ”

That was not a hard request to agree to, though I knew that forgetting my fears would be much easier
said than done. Other matters were on my mind now, knowing that we had this night to be alone, and
that would help.

There were some things that had changed.

For instance, I was ready.

I was ready to join his family and his world. The fear and guilt and anguish I was feeling now had taught
me that much. I ’d had a chance to concentrate on this — as I’d gazed at the moon through the clouds
and rested against a werewolf — and I knew I would not panic again. The next time something came at
us, I would be ready. An asset, not a liability. He would never have to make the choice between me and
his family again. We would be partners, like Alice and Jasper. Next time, I would do my part.

I would wait for the sword to be removed from over my head, so that Edward would be satisfied. But it
wasn’t necessary. I was ready.

There was only one missing piece.

One piece, because there were some things that had not changed, and that included the desperate way I
loved him. I ’d had plenty of time to think through the ramifications of Jasper and Emmett ’s bet — to
figure out the things I was willing to lose with my humanity, and the part that I was not willing to give up. I
knew which human experience I was going to insist on before I became inhuman.




So we had some things to work out tonight. After everything I ’d seen in the past two years, I didn ’t
believe in the word impossible anymore. It was going to take more than that to stop me now.

Okay, well, honestly, it was probably going to be much more complicated than that. But I was going to
try.

As decided as I was, I wasn ’t surprised that I still felt nervous as I drove down the long path to his
house — I didn ’t know how to do what I was trying to do, and that guaranteed me some serious jitters.
He sat in the passenger seat, fighting a smile at my slow pace. I was surprised that he hadn ’t insisted on
taking the wheel, but tonight he seemed content to go at my speed.

It was after dark when we reached the house. In spite of that, the meadow was bright in the light shining
from every window.

As soon as I cut the engine he was at my door, opening it for me. He lifted me from the cab with one
arm, slinging my bag out of the truck bed and over his shoulder with the other. His lips found mine as I
heard him kick the truck ’s door shut behind me.

Without breaking the kiss, he swung me up so that I was cradled in his arms and carried me into the
house.

Was the front door already open? I didn ’t know. We were inside, though, and I was dizzy. I had to
remind myself to breathe.

This kissing did not frighten me. It wasn ’t like before when I could feel the fear and panic leaking through
his control. His lips were not anxious, but enthusiastic now — he seemed as thrilled as I was that we had
tonight to concentrate on being together. He continued to kiss me for several minutes, standing there in
the entry; he seemed less guarded than usual, his mouth cold and urgent on mine.

I began to feel cautiously optimistic. Perhaps getting what I wanted would not be as difficult as I ’d
expected it to be.

No, of course it was going to be just exactly that difficult.

With a low chuckle, he pulled me away, holding me at arm ’s length.

“Welcome home, ” he said, his eyes liquid and warm.

“That sounds nice, ” I said, breathless.

He set me gently on my feet. I wrapped both my arms around him, refusing to allow any space between
us.

“I have something for you, ” he said, his tone conversational.

“Oh?”

“Your hand-me-down, remember? You said that was allowable. ”

“Oh, that ’s right. I guess I did say that. ”

He chuckled at my reluctance.

“It’s up in my room. Shall I go get it? ”




His bedroom? “Sure,” I agreed, feeling quite devious as I wound my fingers through his. “Let’s go.”

He must have been eager to give me my non-present, because human velocity was not fast enough for
him. He scooped me up again and nearly flew up the stairs to his room. He set me down at the door, and
darted into his closet.

He was back before I ’d taken a step, but I ignored him and went to the huge gold bed, plopping down
on the edge and then sliding to the center. I curled up in a ball, my arms wrapped around my knees.

“Okay,” I grumbled. Now that I was where I wanted to be, I could afford a little reluctance. “Let me
have it. ”

Edward laughed.

He climbed onto the bed to sit next to me, and my heart thumped unevenly. Hopefully he would write
that off as some reaction to him giving me presents.

“A hand-me-down, ” he reminded me sternly. He pulled my left wrist away from my leg, and touched the
silver bracelet for just a moment. Then he gave me my arm back.

I examined it cautiously. On the opposite side of the chain from the wolf, there now hung a brilliant
heart-shaped crystal. It was cut in a million facets, so that even in the subdued light shining from the lamp,
it sparkled. I inhaled in a low gasp.

“It was my mother ’s.” He shrugged deprecatingly. “I inherited quite a few baubles like this. I ’ve given
some to Esme and Alice both. So, clearly, this is not a big deal in any way. ”

I smiled ruefully at his assurance.

“But I thought it was a good representation, ” he continued. “It’s hard and cold. ” He laughed. “And it
throws rainbows in the sunlight. ”

“You forgot the most important similarity, ” I murmured. “It’s beautiful. ”

“My heart is just as silent, ” he mused. “And it, too, is yours. ”

I twisted my wrist so the heart would glimmer. “Thank you. For both. ”

“No, thank you. It’s a relief to have you accept a gift so easily. Good practice for you, too. ” He grinned,
flashing his teeth.

I leaned into him, ducking my head under his arm and cuddling into his side. It probably felt similar to
snuggling with Michelangelo ’s David, except that this perfect marble creature wrapped his arms around
me to pull me closer.

It seemed like a good place to start.

“Can we discuss something? I ’d appreciate it if you could begin by being open-minded. ”

He hesitated for a moment. “I’ll give it my best effort, ” he agreed, cautious now.

“I’m not breaking any rules here, ” I promised. “This is strictly about you and me. ” I cleared my throat. “
So . . . I was impressed by how well we were able to compromise the other night. I was thinking I would
like to apply the same principle to a different situation. ” I wondered why I was being so formal. Must be
the nerves.




“What would you like to negotiate? ” he asked, a smile in his voice.

I struggled, trying to find exactly the right words to open with.

“Listen to your heart fly, ” he murmured. “It’s fluttering like a hummingbird ’s wings. Are you all right? ”

“I’m great. ”

“Please go on then, ” he encouraged.

“Well, I guess, first, I wanted to talk to you about that whole ridiculous marriage condition thing. ”

“It’s only ridiculous to you. What about it? ”

“I was wondering . . . is that open to negotiation? ”

Edward frowned, serious now. “I’ve already made the largest concession by far and away — I’ve
agreed to take your life away against my better judgment. And that ought to entitle me to a few
compromises on your part. ”

“No.” I shook my head, focusing on keeping my face composed. “That part ’s a done deal. We ’re not
discussing my . . . renovations right now. I want to hammer out some other details. ”

He looked at me suspiciously. “Which details do you mean exactly? ”

I hesitated. “Let’s clarify your prerequisites first. ”

“You know what I want. ”

“Matrimony.” I made it sound like a dirty word.

“Yes.” He smiled a wide smile. “To start with. ”

The shock spoiled my carefully composed expression. “There ’s more? ”

“Well, ” he said, and his face was calculating. “If you ’re my wife, then what ’s mine is yours . . . like tuition
money. So there would be no problem with Dartmouth. ”

“Anything else? While you ’re already being absurd? ”

“I wouldn ’t mind some time.”

“No. No time. That ’s a deal breaker right there. ”

He sighed longingly. “Just a year or two? ”

I shook my head, my lips set in a stubborn frown. “Move along to the next one. ”

“That ’s it. Unless you ’d like to talk cars . . . ”

He grinned widely when I grimaced, then took my hand and began playing with my fingers.

“I didn ’t realize there was anything else you wanted besides being transformed into a monster yourself. I ’
m extremely curious. ” His voice was low and soft. The slight edge would have been hard to detect if I
hadn ’t known it so well.




I paused, staring at his hand on mine. I still didn ’t know how to begin. I felt his eyes watching me and I
was afraid to look up. The blood began to burn in my face.

His cool fingers brushed my cheek. “You’re blushing? ” he asked in surprise. I kept my eyes down. “
Please, Bella, the suspense is painful. ”

I bit my lip.

“Bella. ” His tone reproached me now, reminded me that it was hard for him when I kept my thoughts to
myself.

“Well, I ’m a little worried . . . about after, ” I admitted, finally looking at him.

I felt his body tense, but his voice was gentle and velvet. “What has you worried? ”

“All of you just seem so convinced that the only thing I ’m going to be interested in, afterward, is
slaughtering everyone in town, ” I confessed, while he winced at my choice of words. “And I’m afraid I ’ll
be so preoccupied with the mayhem that I won ’t be me anymore . . . and that I won ’t . . . I won ’t want
you the same way I do now. ”

“Bella, that part doesn ’t last forever, ” he assured me.

He was missing the point.

“Edward,” I said, nervous, staring at a freckle on my wrist. “There ’s something that I want to do before I
’m not human anymore. ”

He waited for me to continue. I didn ’t. My face was all hot.

“Whatever you want, ” he encouraged, anxious and completely clueless.

“Do you promise? ” I muttered, knowing my attempt to trap him with his words was not going to work,
but unable to resist.

“Yes,” he said. I looked up to see that his eyes were earnest and confused. “Tell me what you want, and
you can have it. ”

I couldn ’t believe how awkward and idiotic I felt. I was too innocent — which was, of course, central to
the discussion. I didn ’t have the faintest idea how to be seductive. I would just have to settle for flushed
and self-conscious.

“You,” I mumbled almost incoherently.

“I’m yours. ” He smiled, still oblivious, trying to hold my gaze as I looked away again.

I took a deep breath and shifted forward so that I was kneeling on the bed. Then I wrapped my arms
around his neck and kissed him.

He kissed me back, bewildered but willing. His lips were gentle against mine, and I could tell his mind
was elsewhere — trying to figure out what was on my mind. I decided he needed a hint.

My hands were slightly shaky as I unlocked my arms from around his neck. My fingers slid down his
neck to the collar of his shirt. The trembling didn ’t help as I tried to hurry to undo the buttons before he
stopped me.




His lips froze, and I could almost hear the click in his head as he put together my words and my actions.

He pushed me away at once, his face heavily disapproving.

“Be reasonable, Bella. ”

“You promised — whatever I wanted, ” I reminded him without hope.

“We’re not having this discussion. ” He glared at me while he refastened the two buttons I ’d managed to
open.

My teeth clamped together.

“I say we are, ” I growled. I moved my hands to my blouse and yanked open the top button.

He grabbed my wrists and pinned them to my sides.

“I say we ’re not,” he said flatly.

We glowered at each other.

“You wanted to know, ” I pointed out.

“I thought it would be something faintly realistic. ”

“So you can ask for any stupid, ridiculous thing you want — like getting married — but I’m not allowed
to even discuss what I —”

While I was ranting, he pulled my hands together to restrain them in just one of his, and put his other hand
over my mouth.

“No.” His face was hard.

I took a deep breath to steady myself. And, as the anger began to fade, I felt something else.

It took me a minute to recognize why I was staring down again, the blush returning — why my stomach
felt uneasy, why there was too much moisture in my eyes, why I suddenly wanted to run from the room.

Rejection washed through me, instinctive and strong.

I knew it was irrational. He ’d been very clear on other occasions that my safety was the only factor. Yet
I’d never made myself quite so vulnerable before. I scowled at the golden comforter that matched his
eyes and tried to banish the reflex reaction that told me I was unwanted and unwantable.

Edward sighed. The hand over my mouth moved under my chin, and he pulled my face up until I had to
look at him.

“What now? ”

“Nothing, ” I mumbled.

He scrutinized my face for long moment while I tried unsuccessfully to twist away from his gaze. His
brow furrowed, and his expression became horrified.

“Did I hurt your feelings? ” he asked, shocked.




“No,” I lied.

So quickly that I wasn ’t even sure how it happened, I was in his arms, my face cradled between his
shoulder and his hand, while his thumb stroked reassuringly against my cheek.

“You know why I have to say no, ” he murmured. “You know that I want you, too. ”

“Do you? ” I whispered, my voice full of doubt.

“Of course I do, you silly, beautiful, oversensitive girl. ” He laughed once, and then his voice was bleak. “
Doesn’t everyone? I feel like there ’s a line behind me, jockeying for position, waiting for me to make a
big enough mistake. . . . You ’re too desirable for your own good. ”

“Who’s being silly now? ” I doubted if awkward, self-conscious, and inept added up to desirable in
anyone ’s book.

“Do I have to send a petition around to get you to believe? Shall I tell you whose names would be on the
top of the list? You know a few of them, but some might surprise you. ”

I shook my head against his chest, grimacing. “You’re just trying to distract me. Let ’s get back to the
subject. ”

He sighed.

“Tell me if I have anything wrong. ” I tried to sound detached. “Your demands are marriage ” — I couldn ’
t say the word without making a face — “paying my tuition, more time, and you wouldn ’t mind if my
vehicle went a little faster. ” I raised my eyebrows. “Did I get everything? That ’s a hefty list. ”

“Only the first is a demand. ” He seemed to be having a hard time keeping a straight face. “The others are
merely requests. ”

“And my lone, solitary little demand is —”

“Demand? ” he interrupted, suddenly serious again.

“Yes, demand. ”

His eyes narrowed.

“Getting married is a stretch for me. I ’m not giving in unless I get something in return. ”

He leaned down to whisper in my ear. “No,” he murmured silkily. “It’s not possible now. Later, when
you’re less breakable. Be patient, Bella. ”

I tried to keep my voice firm and reasonable. “But that ’s the problem. It won ’t be the same when I ’m
less breakable. I won ’t be the same! I don ’t know who I’ll be then. ”

“You’ll still be Bella, ” he promised.

I frowned. “If I’m so far gone that I ’d want to kill Charlie — that I ’d drink Jacob ’s blood or Angela ’s if I
got the chance — how can that be true? ”

“It will pass. And I doubt you ’ll want to drink the dog ’s blood.” He pretended to shudder at the thought.
“Even as a newborn, you ’ll have better taste than that. ”




I ignored his attempt to sidetrack me. “But that will always be what I want most, won ’t it? ” I challenged.
“Blood, blood, and more blood! ”

“The fact that you are still alive is proof that that is not true, ” he pointed out.

“Over eighty years later, ” I reminded him. “What I meant was physically, though. Intellectually, I know I
’ll be able to be myself . . . after a while. But just purely physically — I will always be thirsty, more than
anything else. ”

He didn ’t answer.

“So I will be different, ” I concluded unopposed. “Because right now, physically, there ’s nothing I want
more than you. More than food or water or oxygen. Intellectually, I have my priorities in a slightly more
sensible order. But physically . . . ”

I twisted my head to kiss the palm of his hand.

He took a deep breath. I was surprised that it sounded a little unsteady.

“Bella, I could kill you, ” he whispered.

“I don’t think you could. ”

Edward’s eyes tightened. He lifted his hand from my face and reached quickly behind himself for
something I couldn ’t see. There was a muffled snapping sound, and the bed quivered beneath us.

Something dark was in his hand; he held it up for my curious examination. It was a metal flower, one of
the roses that adorned the wrought iron posts and canopy of his bed frame. His hand closed for a brief
second, his fingers contracting gently, and then it opened again.

Without a word, he offered me the crushed, uneven lump of black metal. It was a cast of the inside of his
hand, like a piece of play dough squeezed in a child ’s fist. A half-second passed, and the shape crumbled
into black sand in his palm.

I glared. “That ’s not what I meant. I already know how strong you are. You didn ’t have to break the
furniture. ”

“What did you mean then? ” he asked in a dark voice, tossing the handful of iron sand to the corner of the
room; it hit the wall with a sound like rain.

His eyes were intent on my face as I struggled to explain.

“Obviously not that you aren ’t physically able hurt me, if you wanted to . . . More that, you don’t want to
hurt me . . . so much so that I don ’t think that you ever could. ”

He started shaking his head before I was done.

“It might not work like that, Bella. ”

“Might,” I scoffed. “You have no more idea what you ’re talking about than I do. ”

“Exactly. Do you imagine I would ever take that kind of risk with you? ”

I stared into his eyes for a long minute. There was no sign of compromise, no hint of indecision in them.




“Please,” I finally whispered, hopeless. “It’s all I want. Please. ” I closed my eyes in defeat, waiting for the
quick and final no.

But he didn ’t answer immediately. I hesitated in disbelief, stunned to hear that his breathing was uneven
again.

I opened my eyes, and his face was torn.

“Please?” I whispered again, my heartbeat picking up speed. My words tumbled out as I rushed to take
advantage of the sudden uncertainty in his eyes. “You don ’t have to make me any guarantees. If it doesn ’
t work out right, well, then that ’s that. Just let us try . . . only try. And I ’ll give you what you want, ” I
promised rashly. “I’ll marry you. I ’ll let you pay for Dartmouth, and I won ’t complain about the bribe to
get me in. You can even buy me a fast car if that makes you happy! Just . . . please.”

His icy arms tightened around me, and his lips were at my ear; his cool breath made me shiver. “This is
unbearable. So many things I ’ve wanted to give you — and this is what you decide to demand. Do you
have any idea how painful it is, trying to refuse you when you plead with me this way? ”

“Then don ’t refuse, ” I suggested breathlessly.

He didn ’t respond.

“Please,” I tried again.

“Bella . . . ” He shook his head slowly, but it didn ’t feel like a denial as his face, his lips, moved back and
forth across my throat. It felt more like surrender. My heart, racing already, spluttered frantically.

Again, I took what advantage I could. When his face turned toward mine with the slow movement of his
indecision, I twisted quickly in his arms till my lips reached his. His hands seized my face, and I thought
he was going to push me away again.

I was wrong.

His mouth was not gentle; there was a brand-new edge of conflict and desperation in the way his lips
moved. I locked my arms around his neck, and, to my suddenly overheated skin, his body felt colder
than ever. I trembled, but it was not from the chill.

He didn ’t stop kissing me. I was the one who had to break away, gasping for air. Even then his lips did
not leave my skin, they just moved to my throat. The thrill of victory was a strange high; it made me feel
powerful. Brave. My hands weren ’t unsteady now; I got through with the buttons on his shirt this time
easily, and my fingers traced the perfect planes of his icy chest. He was too beautiful. What was the word
he’d used just now? Unbearable — that was it. His beauty was too much to bear. . . .

I pulled his mouth back to mine, and he seemed just as eager as I was. One of his hands still cupped my
face, his other arm was tight around my waist, straining me closer to him. It made it slightly more difficult
as I tried to reach the front of my shirt, but not impossible.

Cold iron fetters locked around my wrists, and pulled my hands above my head, which was suddenly on
a pillow.

His lips were at my ear again. “Bella, ” he murmured, his voice warm and velvet. “Would you please stop
trying to take your clothes off? ”

“Do you want to do that part? ” I asked, confused.




“Not tonight, ” he answered softly. His lips were slower now against my cheek and jaw, all the urgency
gone.

“Edward, don ’t —,” I started to argue.

“I’m not saying no, ” he reassured me. “I’m just saying not tonight.”

I thought about that while my breathing slowed.

“Give me one good reason why tonight is not as good as any other night. ” I was still breathless; it made
the frustration in my voice less impressive.

“I wasn ’t born yesterday. ” He chuckled in my ear. “Out of the two of us, which do you think is more
unwilling to give the other what they want? You just promised to marry me before you do any changing,
but if I give in tonight, what guarantee do I have that you won ’t go running off to Carlisle in the morning? I
am — clearly — much less reluctant to give you what you want. Therefore . . . you first. ”

I exhaled with a loud huff. “I have to marry you first? ” I asked in disbelief.

“That ’s the deal — take it or leave it. Compromise, remember? ”

His arms wrapped around me, and he began kissing me in a way that should be illegal. Too persuasive
— it was duress, coercion. I tried to keep a clear head . . . and failed quickly and absolutely.

“I think that ’s a really bad idea, ” I gasped when he let me breathe.

“I’m not surprised you feel that way. ” He smirked. “You have a one-track mind. ”

“How did this happen? ” I grumbled. “I thought I was holding my own tonight — for once — and now, all
of a sudden —”

“You’re engaged, ” he finished.

“Ew! Please don’t say that out loud. ”

“Are you going back on your word? ” he demanded. He pulled away to read my face. His expression
was entertained. He was having fun.

I glared at him, trying to ignore the way his smile made my heart react.

“Are you? ” he pressed.

“Ugh! ” I groaned. “No. I’m not. Are you happy now? ”

His smile was blinding. “Exceptionally. ”

I groaned again.

“Aren’t you happy at all? ”

He kissed me again before I could answer. Another too-persuasive kiss.

“A little bit, ” I admitted when I could speak. “But not about getting married. ”

He kissed me another time. “Do you get the feeling that everything is backward? ” he laughed in my ear. “
Traditionally, shouldn ’t you be arguing my side, and I yours? ”




“There isn ’t much that ’s traditional about you and me. ”

“True. ”

He kissed me again, and kept going until my heart was racing and my skin was flushed.

“Look, Edward, ” I murmured, my voice wheedling, when he paused to kiss the palm of my hand. “I said
I would marry you, and I will. I promise. I swear. If you want, I ’ll sign a contract in my own blood. ”

“Not funny, ” he murmured against the inside of my wrist.

“What I’m saying is this — I’m not going to trick you or anything. You know me better than that. So
there’s really no reason to wait. We ’re completely alone — how often does that happen? — and you ’ve
provided this very large and comfortable bed. . . . ”

“Not tonight, ” he said again.

“Don’t you trust me? ”

“Of course I do. ”

Using the hand that he was still kissing, I pulled his face back up to where I could see his expression.

“Then what ’s the problem? It ’s not like you didn ’t know you were going to win in the end. ” I frowned
and muttered, “You always win. ”

“Just hedging my bets, ” he said calmly.

“There ’s something else, ” I guessed, my eyes narrowing. There was a defensiveness about his face, a
faint hint of some secret motive he was trying to hide behind his casual manner. “Are you planning to go
back on your word? ”

“No,” he promised solemnly. “I swear to you, we will try. After you marry me. ”

I shook my head, and laughed glumly. “You make me feel like a villain in a melodrama — twirling my
mustache while I try to steal some poor girl ’s virtue. ”

His eyes were wary as they flashed across my face, then he quickly ducked down to press his lips against
my collarbone.

“That ’s it, isn ’t it? ” The short laugh that escaped me was more shocked than amused. “You’re trying to
protect your virtue! ” I covered my mouth with my hand to muffle the giggle that followed. The words
were so . . . old-fashioned.

“No, silly girl, ” he muttered against my shoulder. “I’m trying to protect yours. And you ’re making it
shockingly difficult. ”

“Of all the ridiculous —”

“Let me ask you something, ” he interrupted quickly. “We’ve had this discussion before, but humor me.
How many people in this room have a soul? A shot at heaven, or whatever there is after this life? ”

“Two,” I answered immediately, my voice fierce.

“All right. Maybe that ’s true. Now, there ’s a world full of dissension about this, but the vast majority




seem to think that there are some rules that have to be followed. ”

“Vampire rules aren ’t enough for you? You want to worry about the human ones too? ”

“It couldn ’t hurt. ” He shrugged. “Just in case. ”

I glared at him through narrowed eyes.

“Now, of course, it might be too late for me, even if you are right about my soul. ”

“No, it isn ’t,” I argued angrily.

“‘Thou shalt not kill ’ is commonly accepted by most major belief systems. And I ’ve killed a lot of
people, Bella. ”

“Only the bad ones. ”

He shrugged. “Maybe that counts, maybe it doesn ’t. But you haven ’t killed anyone —”

“That you know about, ” I muttered.

He smiled, but otherwise ignored the interruption. “And I’m going to do my best to keep you out of
temptation ’s way.”

“Okay. But we weren ’t fighting over committing murder, ” I reminded him.

“The same principle applies — the only difference is that this is the one area in which I ’m just as spotless
as you are. Can ’t I leave one rule unbroken? ”

“One?”

“You know that I ’ve stolen, I ’ve lied, I ’ve coveted . . . my virtue is all I have left. ” He grinned crookedly.

“I lie all the time. ”

“Yes, but you ’re such a bad liar that it doesn ’t really count. Nobody believes you. ”

“I really hope you ’re wrong about that — because otherwise Charlie is about to burst through the door
with a loaded gun. ”

“Charlie is happier when he pretends to swallow your stories. He ’d rather lie to himself than look too
closely. ” He grinned at me.

“But what did you ever covet? ” I asked doubtfully. “You have everything. ”

“I coveted you. ” His smile darkened. “I had no right to want you — but I reached out and took you
anyway. And now look what ’s become of you! Trying to seduce a vampire. ” He shook his head in mock
horror.

“You can covet what ’s already yours, ” I informed him. “Besides, I thought it was my virtue you were
worried about. ”

“It is. If it ’s too late for me . . . Well, I ’ll be damned — no pun intended — if I ’ll let them keep you out,
too.”

“You can ’t make me go somewhere you won ’t be,” I vowed. “That ’s my definition of hell. Anyway, I




have an easy solution to all this: let ’s never die, all right? ”

“Sounds simple enough. Why didn ’t I think of that? ”

He smiled at me until I gave up with an angry humph. “So that’s it. You won ’t sleep with me until we ’re
married.”

“Technically, I can ’t ever sleep with you. ”

I rolled my eyes. “Very mature, Edward. ”

“But, other than that detail, yes, you ’ve got it right. ”

“I think you have an ulterior motive. ”

His eyes widened innocently. “Another one? ”

“You know this will speed things up, ” I accused.

He tried not to smile. “There is only one thing I want to speed up, and the rest can wait forever . . . but
for that, it ’s true, your impatient human hormones are my most powerful ally at this point. ”

“I can’t believe I ’m going along with this. When I think of Charlie . . . and Renée! Can you imagine what
Angela will think? Or Jessica? Ugh. I can hear the gossip now. ”

He raised one eyebrow at me, and I knew why. What did it matter what they said about me when I
leaving soon and not coming back? Was I really so oversensitive that I couldn ’t bear a few weeks of
sidelong glances and leading questions?

Maybe it wouldn ’t bug me so much if I didn ’t know that I would probably be gossiping just as
condescendingly as the rest of them if it was someone else getting married this summer.

Gah. Married this summer! I shuddered.

And then, maybe it wouldn ’t bug me so much if I hadn ’t been raised to shudder at the thought of
marriage.

Edward interrupted my fretting. “It doesn ’t have to be a big production. I don ’t need any fanfare. You
won’t have to tell anyone or make any changes. We ’ll go to Vegas — you can wear old jeans and we ’ll
go to the chapel with the drive-through window. I just want it to be official — that you belong to me and
no one else.”

“It couldn ’t be any more official than it already is, ” I grumbled. But his description didn ’t sound that bad.
Only Alice would be disappointed.

“We’ll see about that. ” He smiled complacently. “I suppose you don ’t want your ring now? ”

I had to swallow before I could speak. “You suppose correctly. ”

He laughed at my expression. “That ’s fine. I ’ll get it on your finger soon enough. ”

I glared at him. “You talk like you already have one. ”

“I do,” he said, unashamed. “Ready to force upon you at the first sign of weakness. ”

“You’re unbelievable. ”




“Do you want to see it? ” he asked. His liquid topaz eyes were suddenly shining with excitement.

“No!” I almost shouted, a reflex reaction. I regretted it at once. His face fell ever so slightly. “Unless you
really want to show it to me, ” I amended. I gritted my teeth together to keep my illogical terror from
showing.

“That ’s all right, ” he shrugged. “It can wait. ”

I sighed. “Show me the damn ring, Edward. ”

He shook his head. “No.”

I studied his expression for a long minute.

“Please?” I asked quietly, experimenting with my newly discovered weapon. I touched his face lightly
with the tips of my fingers. “Please can I see it? ”

His eyes narrowed. “You are the most dangerous creature I ’ve ever met, ” he muttered. But he got up
and moved with unconscious grace to kneel next to the small bedside table. He was back on the bed
with me in an instant, sitting beside me with one arm around my shoulder. In his other hand was a little
black box. He balanced it on my left knee.

“Go ahead and look, then, ” he said brusquely.

It was harder than it should have been to pick up the inoffensive little box, but I didn ’t want to hurt him
again, so I tried to keep my hand from shaking. The surface was smooth with black satin. I brushed my
fingers over it, hesitating.

“You didn ’t spend a lot of money, did you? Lie to me, if you did. ”

“I didn ’t spend anything, ” he assured me. “It’s just another hand-me-down. This is the ring my father
gave to my mother. ”

“Oh.” Surprise colored my voice. I pinched the lid between my thumb and forefinger, but didn ’t open it.

“I supposed it ’s a little outdated. ” His tone was playfully apologetic. “Old-fashioned, just like me. I can
get you something more modern. Something from Tiffany ’s?”

“I like old-fashioned things, ” I mumbled as I hesitantly lifted the lid.

Nestled into the black satin, Elizabeth Masen ’s ring sparkled in the dim light. The face was a long oval,
set with slanting rows of glittering round stones. The band was gold — delicate and narrow. The gold
made a fragile web around the diamonds. I ’d never seen anything like it.

Unthinkingly, I stroked the shimmering gems.

“It’s so pretty,” I murmured to myself, surprised.

“Do you like it? ”

“It’s beautiful. ” I shrugged, feigning a lack of interest. “What’s not to like? ”

He chuckled. “See if it fits. ”

My left hand clenched into a fist.




“Bella, ” he sighed. “I’m not going to solder it to your finger. Just try it on so I can see if it needs to be
sized. Then you can take it right off. ”

“Fine, ” I grumbled.

I reached for the ring, but his long fingers beat me there. He took my left hand in his, and slid the ring into
place on my third finger. He held my hand out, and we both examined the oval sparkling against my skin.
It wasn ’t quite as awful as I ’d feared, having it there.

“A perfect fit, ” he said indifferently. “That ’s nice — saves me a trip to the jeweler ’s.”

I could hear some strong emotion burning under the casual tone of his voice, and I stared up at his face.
It was there in his eyes, too, visible despite the careful nonchalance of his expression.

“You like that, don ’t you? ” I asked suspiciously, fluttering my fingers and thinking that it was really too
bad that I had not broken my left hand.

He shrugged his shoulders. “Sure,” he said, still casual. “It looks very nice on you. ”

I stared into his eyes, trying to decipher the emotion that smoldered just under the surface. He gazed
back, and the casual pretense suddenly slipped away. He was glowing — his angel ’s face brilliant with
joy and victory. He was so glorious that it knocked me breathless.

Before I could catch that breath, he was kissing me, his lips exultant. I was lightheaded when he moved
his mouth to whisper in my ear — but his breathing was just as ragged as mine.

“Yes, I like it. You have no idea.”

I laughed, gasping a little. “I believe you. ”

“Do you mind if I do something? ” he murmured, his arms tightening around me.

“Anything you want. ”

But he let me go and slid away.

“Anything but that, ” I complained.

He ignored me, taking my hand and pulling me off the bed, too. He stood in front of me, hands on my
shoulders, face serious.

“Now, I want to do this right. Please, please, keep in mind that you ’ve already agreed to this, and don ’t
ruin it for me. ”

“Oh, no,” I gasped as he slid down onto one knee.

“Be nice, ” he muttered.

I took a deep breath.

“Isabella Swan? ” He looked up at me through his impossibly long lashes, his golden eyes soft but,
somehow, still scorching. “I promise to love you forever — every single day of forever. Will you marry
me?”

There were many things I wanted to say, some of them not nice at all, and others more disgustingly gooey




and romantic than he probably dreamed I was capable of. Rather than embarrass myself with either, I
whispered, “Yes.”

“Thank you, ” he said simply. He took my left hand and kissed each of my fingertips before he kissed the
ring that was now mine.



21. TRAILS

I HATED TO WASTE ANY PART OF THE NIGHT IN SLEEP, but that was inevitable. The sun was
bright outside the window-wall when I woke, with small clouds scuttling too quickly across the sky. The
wind rocked the treetops till the whole forest looked as if it was going to shake apart.

He left me alone to get dressed, and I appreciated the chance to think. Somehow, my plan for last night
had gone horribly awry, and I needed come to grips with the consequences. Though I ’d given back the
hand-me-down ring as soon as I could do it without hurting his feelings, my left hand felt heavier, like it
was still in place, just invisible.

This shouldn ’t bother me, I reasoned. It was no big thing — a road trip to Vegas. I would go one better
than old jeans — I would wear old sweats. The ceremony certainly couldn ’t take very long; no more
than fifteen minutes at the most, right? So I could handle that.

And then, when it was over, he ’d have to fulfill his side of the bargain. I would concentrate on that, and
forget the rest.

He said I didn ’t have to tell anyone, and I was planning to hold him to that. Of course, it was very stupid
of me not to think of Alice.

The Cullens got home around noon. There was a new, businesslike feel to the atmosphere around them,
and it pulled me back into the enormity of what was coming.

Alice seemed to be in an unusually bad mood. I chalked it up to her frustration with feeling normal,
because her first words to Edward were a complaint about working with the wolves.

“I think” — she made a face as she used the uncertain word — “that you ’re going to want to pack for
cold weather, Edward. I can ’t see where you are exactly, because you ’re taking off with that dog this
afternoon. But the storm that ’s coming seems particularly bad in that general area. ”

Edward nodded.

“It’s going to snow on the mountains, ” she warned him.

“Ew, snow, ” I muttered to myself. It was June, for crying out loud.

“Wear a jacket,” Alice told me. Her voice was unfriendly, and that surprised me. I tried to read her face,
but she turned away.

I looked at Edward, and he was smiling; whatever was bugging Alice amused him.

Edward had more than enough camping gear to choose from — props in the human charade; the Cullens
were good customers at the Newton ’s store. He grabbed a down sleeping bag, a small tent, and several
packets of dehydrated food — grinning when I made a face at them — and stuffed them all in a




backpack.

Alice wandered into the garage while we were there, watching Edward ’s preparations without a word.
He ignored her.

When he was done packing, Edward handed me his phone. “Why don ’t you call Jacob and tell him we ’ll
be ready for him in an hour or so. He knows where to meet us. ”

Jacob wasn ’t home, but Billy promised to call around until he could find an available werewolf to pass
the news to.

“Don’t you worry about Charlie, Bella, ” Billy said. “I’ve got my part of this under control. ”

“Yeah, I know Charlie ’ll be fine. ” I didn ’t feel so confident about his son ’s safety, but I didn ’t add that.

“I wish I could be with the rest of them tomorrow. ” Billy chuckled regretfully. “Being an old man is a
hardship, Bella. ”

The urge to fight must be a defining characteristic of the Y chromosome. They were all the same.

“Have fun with Charlie. ”

“Good luck, Bella, ” he answered. “And . . . pass that along to the, er, Cullens for me. ”

“I will, ” I promised, surprised by the gesture.

As I gave the phone back to Edward, I saw that he and Alice were having some kind of silent discussion.
She was staring at him, pleading in her eyes. He was frowning back, unhappy with whatever she wanted.

“Billy said to tell you ‘good luck. ’”

“That was generous of him, ” Edward said, breaking away from her.

“Bella, could I please speak to you alone? ” Alice asked swiftly.

“You’re about to make my life harder than it needs to be, Alice, ” Edward warned her through his teeth. “
I’d really rather you didn ’t.”

“This isn ’t about you, Edward, ” she shot back.

He laughed. Something about her response was funny to him.

“It’s not,” Alice insisted. “This is a female thing. ”

He frowned.

“Let her talk to me, ” I told him. I was curious.

“You asked for it, ” he muttered. He laughed again — half angry, half amused — and strode out of the
garage.

I turned to Alice, worried now, but she didn ’t look at me. Her bad mood hadn ’t passed yet.

She went to sit on the hood of her Porsche, her face dejected. I followed, and leaned against the bumper
beside her.




“Bella? ” Alice asked in a sad voice, shifting over and curling up against my side. Her voice sounded so
miserable that I wrapped my arms around her shoulders in comfort.

“What’s wrong, Alice? ”

“Don’t you love me? ” she asked in that same sad tone.

“Of course I do. You know that. ”

“Then why do I see you sneaking off to Vegas to get married without inviting me? ”

“Oh,” I muttered, my cheeks turning pink. I could see that I had seriously hurt her feelings, and I hurried
to defend myself. “You know how I hate to make a big deal out of things. It was Edward ’s idea,
anyway. ”

“I don’t care whose idea it was. How could you do this to me? I expect that kind of thing from Edward,
but not from you. I love you like you were my own sister. ”

“To me, Alice, you are my sister. ”

“Words!” she growled.

“Fine, you can come. There won ’t be much to see. ”

She was still grimacing.

“What?” I demanded.

“How much do you love me, Bella? ”

“Why? ”

She stared at me with pleading eyes, her long black eyebrows slanting up in the middle and pulling
together, her lips trembling at the corners. It was a heart-breaking expression.

“Please, please, please, ” she whispered. “Please, Bella, please — if you really love me . . . Please let me
do your wedding. ”

“Aw, Alice! ” I groaned, pulling away and standing up. “No! Don’t do this to me. ”

“If you really, truly love me, Bella. ”

I folded my arms across my chest. “That is so unfair. And Edward kind of already used that one on me. ”

“I’ll bet Edward would like it better if you did this traditionally, though he ’d never tell you that. And
Esme — think what it would mean to her! ”

I groaned. “I’d rather face the newborns alone. ”

“I’ll owe you for a decade. ”

“You’d owe me for a century! ”

Her eyes glowed. “Is that a yes? ”

“No! I don’t want to do this! ”




“You won ’t have to do anything but walk a few yards and then repeat after the minister. ”

“Ugh! Ugh, ugh! ”

“Please?” She started bouncing in place. “Please, please, please, please, please? ”

“I’ll never, never ever forgive you for this, Alice. ”

“Yay!” she squealed, clapping her hands together.

“That ’s not a yes!”

“But it will be, ” she sang.

“Edward! ” I yelled, stalking out of the garage. “I know you ’re listening. Get over here. ” Alice was right
behind me, still clapping.

“Thanks so much, Alice, ” Edward said acidly, coming from behind me. I turned to let him have it, but his
expression was so worried and upset that I couldn ’t speak my complaints. I threw my arms around him
instead, hiding my face, just in case the angry moisture in my eyes made it look like I was crying.

“Vegas,” Edward promised in my ear.

“Not a chance, ” Alice gloated. “Bella would never do that to me. You know, Edward, as a brother, you
are sometimes a disappointment. ”

“Don’t be mean, ” I grumbled at her. “He’s trying to make me happy, unlike you. ”

“I’m trying to make you happy, too, Bella. It ’s just that I know better what will make you happy . . . in
the long run. You ’ll thank me for this. Maybe not for fifty years, but definitely someday. ”

“I never thought I ’d see the day where I ’d be willing to take a bet against you, Alice, but it has arrived. ”

She laughed her silvery laugh. “So, are you going to show me the ring? ”

I grimaced in horror as she grabbed my left hand and then dropped it just as quickly.

“Huh. I saw him put it on you. . . . Did I miss something? ” she asked. She concentrated for half a second,
furrowing her brow, before she answered her own questions. “No. Wedding ’s still on. ”

“Bella has issues with jewelry, ” Edward explained.

“What’s one more diamond? Well, I guess the ring has lots of diamonds, but my point is that he ’s already
got one on —”

“Enough, Alice! ” Edward cut her off suddenly. The way he glared at her . . . he looked like a vampire
again. “We’re in a hurry. ”

“I don’t understand. What ’s that about diamonds? ” I asked.

“We’ll talk about it later, ” Alice said. “Edward is right — you’d better get going. You ’ve got to set a trap
and make camp before the storm comes. ” She frowned, and her expression was anxious, almost
nervous. “Don’t forget your coat, Bella. It seems . . . unseasonably cold. ”

“I’ve already got it, ” Edward assured her.




“Have a nice night, ” she told us in farewell.

It was twice as far to the clearing as usual; Edward took a long detour, making sure my scent would be
nowhere near the trail Jacob would hide later. He carried me in his arms, the bulky backpack in my usual
spot.

He stopped at the farthest end of the clearing and set me on my feet.

“All right. Just walk north for a ways, touching as much as you can. Alice gave me a clear picture of their
path, and it won ’t take long for us to intersect it. ”

“North?”

He smiled and pointed out the right direction.

I wandered into the woods, leaving the clear yellow light of the strangely sunny day in the clearing behind
me. Maybe Alice ’s blurred sight would be wrong about the snow. I hoped so. The sky was mostly clear,
though the wind whipped furiously through the open spaces. In the trees it was calmer, but much too cold
for June — even in a long-sleeved shirt with a thick sweater over the top, there were goose bumps on
my arms. I walked slowly, trailing my fingers over anything close enough: the rough tree bark, the wet
ferns, the moss-covered rocks.

Edward stayed with me, walking a parallel line about twenty yards away.

“Am I doing this right? ” I called.

“Perfectly. ”

I had an idea. “Will this help? ” I asked as I ran my fingers through my hair and caught a few loose
strands. I draped them over the ferns.

“Yes, that does make the trail stronger. But you don ’t need to pull your hair out, Bella. It will be fine. ”

“I’ve got a few extras I can spare. ”

It was gloomy under the trees, and I wished I could walk closer to Edward and hold his hand.

I wedged another hair into a broken branch that cut through my path.

“You don ’t need to let Alice have her way, you know, ” Edward said.

“Don’t worry about it, Edward. I ’m not going to leave you at the altar, regardless. ” I had a sinking feeling
that Alice was going to get her way, mostly because she was totally unscrupulous when there was
something she wanted, and also because I was a sucker for guilt trips.

“That ’s not what I ’m worried about. I want this to be what you want it to be. ”

I repressed a sigh. It would hurt his feelings if I told the truth — that it didn ’t really matter, because it was
all just varying degrees of awful anyway.

“Well, even if she does get her way, we can keep it small. Just us. Emmett can get a clerical license off
the Internet. ”

I giggled. “That does sound better. ” It wouldn ’t feel very official if Emmett read the vows, which was a
plus. But I ’d have a hard time keeping a straight face.




“See,” he said with a smile. “There ’s always a compromise. ”

It took a while for me to reach the spot where the newborn army would be certain to cross my trail, but
Edward never got impatient with my pace.

He had to lead a bit more on the way back, to keep me on the same path. It all looked alike to me.

We were almost to the clearing when I fell. I could see the wide opening ahead, and that ’s probably why
I got too eager and forgot to watch my feet. I caught myself before my head bashed into the nearest tree,
but a small branch snapped off under my left hand and gouged into my palm.

“Ouch! Oh, fabulous, ” I muttered.

“Are you all right? ”

“I’m fine. Stay where you are. I ’m bleeding. It will stop in a minute. ”

He ignored me. He was right there before I could finish.

“I’ve got a first aid kit, ” he said, pulling off the backpack. “I had a feeling I might need it. ”

“It’s not bad. I can take care of it — you don ’t have to make yourself uncomfortable. ”

“I’m not uncomfortable, ” he said calmly. “Here — let me clean it. ”

“Wait a second, I just got another idea. ”

Without looking at the blood and breathing through my mouth, just in case my stomach might react, I
pressed my hand against a rock within my reach.

“What are you doing? ”

“Jasper will love this, ” I muttered to myself. I started for the clearing again, pressing my palm against
everything in my path. “I’ll bet this really gets them going. ”

Edward sighed.

“Hold your breath, ” I told him.

“I’m fine. I just think you ’re going overboard. ”

“This is all I get to do. I want to do a good job. ”

We broke through the last of the trees as I spoke. I let my injured hand graze across the ferns.

“Well, you have, ” Edward assured me. “The newborns will be frantic, and Jasper will be very impressed
with your dedication. Now let me treat your hand — you’ve gotten the cut dirty. ”

“Let me do it, please. ”

He took my hand and smiled as he examined it. “This doesn ’t bother me anymore. ”

I watched him carefully as he cleaned the gash, looking for some sign of distress. He continued to breathe
evenly in and out, the same small smile on his lips.

“Why not? ” I finally asked as he smoothed a bandage across my palm.




He shrugged. “I got over it. ”

“You . . . got over it? When? How? ” I tried to remember the last time he ’d held his breath around me.
All I could think of was my wretched birthday party last September.

Edward pursed his lips, seeming to search for the words. “I lived through an entire twenty-four hours
thinking that you were dead, Bella. That changed the way I look at a lot of things. ”

“Did it change the way I smell to you? ”

“Not at all. But . . . having experienced the way it feels to think I ’ve lost you . . . my reactions have
changed. My entire being shies away from any course that could inspire that kind of pain again. ”

I didn ’t know what to say to that.

He smiled at my expression. “I guess that you could call it a very educational experience. ”

The wind tore through the clearing then, lashing my hair around my face and making me shiver.

“All right, ” he said, reaching into his pack again. “You’ve done your part. ” He pulled out my heavy winter
jacket and held it out for me to slide my arms in. “Now it’s out of our hands. Let ’s go camping! ”

I laughed at the mock enthusiasm in his voice.

He took my bandaged hand — the other was in worse shape, still in the brace — and started toward the
other side of the clearing.

“Where are we meeting Jacob? ” I asked.

“Right here. ” He gestured to the trees in front of us just as Jacob stepped warily from their shadows.

It shouldn ’t have surprised me to see him human. I wasn ’t sure why I ’d been looking for the big
red-brown wolf.

Jacob seemed bigger again — no doubt a product of my expectations; I must have unconsciously been
hoping to see the smaller Jacob from my memory, the easygoing friend who hadn ’t made everything so
difficult. He had his arms folded across his bare chest, a jacket clutched in one fist. His face was
expressionless as he watched us.

Edward’s lips pulled down at the corners. “There had to have been a better way to do this. ”

“Too late now, ” I muttered glumly.

He sighed.

“Hey, Jake, ” I greeted him when we got closer.

“Hi, Bella. ”

“Hello, Jacob, ” Edward said.

Jacob ignored the pleasantry, all business. “Where do I take her? ”

Edward pulled a map from a side pocket on the pack and offered it to him. Jacob unfolded it.

“We’re here now, ” Edward said, reaching over to touch the right spot. Jacob recoiled from his hand




automatically, and then steadied himself. Edward pretended not to notice.

“And you ’re taking her up here, ” Edward continued, tracing a serpentine pattern around the elevation
lines on the paper. “Roughly nine miles. ”

Jacob nodded once.

“When you ’re about a mile away, you should cross my path. That will lead you in. Do you need the
map?”

“No, thanks. I know this area pretty well. I think I know where I ’m going. ”

Jacob seemed to have to work harder than Edward to keep the tone polite.

“I’ll take a longer route, ” Edward said. “And I’ll see you in a few hours. ”

Edward stared at me unhappily. He didn ’t like this part of the plan.

“See you, ” I murmured.

Edward faded into the trees, heading in the opposite direction.

As soon as he was gone, Jacob turned cheerful.

“What’s up, Bella? ” he asked with a big grin.

I rolled my eyes. “Same old, same old. ”

“Yeah,” he agreed. “Bunch of vampires trying to kill you. The usual. ”

“The usual. ”

“Well, ” he said as he shrugged into his jacket to free his arms. “Let’s get going. ”

Making a face, I took a small step closer to him.

He bent down and swept his arm behind my knees, knocking them out from under me. His other arm
caught me before my head hit the ground.

“Jerk,” I muttered.

Jacob chuckled, already running through the trees. He kept a steady pace, a brisk jog that a fit human
could keep up with . . . across a level plane . . . if they weren ’t burdened with a hundred-plus pounds as
he was.

“You don ’t have to run. You ’ll get tired. ”

“Running doesn ’t make me tired, ” he said. His breathing was even — like the fixed tempo of a
marathoner. “Besides, it will be colder soon. I hope he gets the camp set up before we get there. ”

I tapped my finger against the thick padding of his parka. “I thought you didn ’t get cold now. ”

“I don’t. I brought this for you, just in case you weren ’t prepared.” He looked at my jacket, almost as if
he were disappointed that I was. “I don’t like the way the weather feels. It ’s making me edgy. Notice
how we haven ’t seen any animals? ”




“Um, not really. ”

“I guess you wouldn ’t. Your senses are too dull. ”

I let that pass. “Alice was worried about the storm, too. ”

“It takes a lot to silence the forest this way. You picked a hell of a night for a camping trip. ”

“It wasn ’t entirely my idea. ”

The pathless way he took began to climb more and more steeply, but it didn ’t slow him down. He leapt
easily from rock to rock, not seeming to need his hands at all. His perfect balance reminded me of a
mountain goat.

“What’s with the addition to your bracelet? ” he asked.

I looked down, and realized that the crystal heart was facing up on my wrist.

I shrugged guiltily. “Another graduation present. ”

He snorted. “A rock. Figures. ”

A rock? I was suddenly reminded of Alice ’s unfinished sentence outside the garage. I stared at the bright
white crystal and tried to remember what Alice had been saying before . . . about diamonds. Could she
have been trying to say he’s already got one on you? As in, I was already wearing one diamond from
Edward? No, that was impossible. The heart would have to be five carats or something crazy like that!
Edward wouldn ’t —

“So it’s been a while since you came down to La Push, ” Jacob said, interrupting my disturbing
conjectures.

“I’ve been busy, ” I told him. “And . . . I probably wouldn ’t have visited, anyway. ”

He grimaced. “I thought you were supposed to be the forgiving one, and I was the grudge-holder. ”

I shrugged.

“Been thinking about that last time a lot, have you? ”

“Nope.”

He laughed. “Either you ’re lying, or you are the stubbornest person alive. ”

“I don’t know about the second part, but I ’m not lying. ”

I didn ’t like having this conversation under the present conditions — with his too-warm arms wrapped
tightly around me and nothing at all I could do about it. His face was closer than I wanted it to be. I
wished I could take a step back.

“A smart person looks at all sides of a decision. ”

“I have, ” I retorted.

“If you haven ’t thought at all about our . . . er, conversation the last time you came over, then that ’s not
true.”




“That conversation isn ’t relevant to my decision. ”

“Some people will go to any lengths to delude themselves. ”

“I’ve noticed that werewolves in particular are prone to that mistake — do you think it ’s a genetic thing? ”

“Does that mean that he ’s a better kisser that I am? ” Jacob asked, suddenly glum.

“I really couldn ’t say, Jake. Edward is the only person I ’ve ever kissed. ”

“Besides me. ”

“But I don ’t count that as a kiss, Jacob. I think of it more as an assault. ”

“Ouch! That ’s cold.”

I shrugged. I wasn ’t going to take it back.

“I did apologize about that, ” he reminded me.

“And I forgave you . . . mostly. It doesn ’t change the way I remember it. ”

He muttered something unintelligible.

It was quiet then for a while; there was just the sound of his measured breathing and the wind roaring high
above us in the treetops. A cliff face rose sheer beside us, bare, rough gray stone. We followed the base
as it curved upward out of the forest.

“I still think it ’s pretty irresponsible, ” Jacob suddenly said.

“Whatever you ’re talking about, you ’re wrong. ”

“Think about it, Bella. According to you, you ’ve kissed just one person — who isn ’t even really a
person — in your whole life, and you ’re calling it quits? How do you know that ’s what you want?
Shouldn ’t you play the field a little? ”

I kept my voice cool. “I know exactly what I want. ”

“Then it couldn ’t hurt to double check. Maybe you should try kissing someone else — just for
comparison ’s sake . . . since what happened the other day doesn ’t count. You could kiss me, for
example. I don ’t mind if you want to use me to experiment. ”

He pulled me tighter against his chest, so that my face was closer to his. He was smiling at his joke, but I
wasn’t taking any chances.

“Don’t mess with me, Jake. I swear I won ’t stop him if he wants to break your jaw. ”

The panicky edge to my voice made him smile wider. “If you ask me to kiss you, he won ’t have any
reason to get upset. He said that was fine. ”

“Don’t hold your breath, Jake — no, wait, I changed my mind. Go right ahead. Just hold your breath
until I ask you to kiss me. ”

“You’re in a bad mood today. ”

“I wonder why? ”




“Sometimes I think you like me better as a wolf. ”

“Sometimes I do. It probably has something to do with the way you can’t talk.”

He pursed his broad lips thoughtfully. “No, I don’t think that ’s it. I think it ’s easier for you to be near me
when I ’m not human, because you don ’t have to pretend that you ’re not attracted to me. ”

My mouth fell open with a little popping sound. I snapped it shut at once, grinding my teeth together.

He heard that. His lips pulled tightly across his face in a triumphant smile.

I took a slow breath before I spoke. “No. I’m pretty sure it ’s because you can ’t talk. ”

He sighed. “Do you ever get tired of lying to yourself? You have to know how aware you are of me.
Physically, I mean. ”

“How could anyone not be aware of you physically, Jacob? ” I demanded. “You’re an enormous
monster who refuses to respect anyone else ’s personal space. ”

“I make you nervous. But only when I ’m human. When I ’m a wolf, you ’re more comfortable around me.
”

“Nervousness and irritation are not the same thing. ”

He stared at me for a minute, slowing to a walk, the amusement draining from his face. His eyes
narrowed, turned black in the shadow of his brows. His breathing, so regular as he ran, started to
accelerate. Slowly, he leaned his face closer to mine.

I stared him down, knowing exactly what he was trying to do.

“It’s your face, ” I reminded him.

He laughed loudly and started jogging again. “I don’t really want to fight with your vampire tonight — I
mean, any other night, sure. But we both have a job to do tomorrow, and I wouldn ’t want to leave the
Cullens one short. ”

The sudden, unexpected swell of shame distorted my expression.

“I know, I know, ” he responded, not understanding. “You think he could take me. ”

I couldn ’t speak. I was leaving them one short. What if someone got hurt because I was so weak? But
what if I was brave and Edward . . . I couldn ’t even think it.

“What’s the matter with you, Bella? ” The joking bravado vanished from his face, revealing my Jacob
underneath, like pulling a mask away. “If something I said upset you, you know I was only kidding. I didn
’t mean anything — hey, are you okay? Don ’t cry, Bella, ” he pled.

I tried to pull myself together. “I’m not going to cry. ”

“What did I say? ”

“It’s nothing you said. It ’s just, well, it ’s me. I did something . . . bad. ”

He stared at me, his eyes wide with confusion.

“Edward isn ’t going to fight tomorrow, ” I whispered the explanation. “I’m making him stay with me. I am




a huge coward. ”

He frowned. “You think this isn ’t going to work? That they ’ll find you here? Do you know something I
don’t know? ”

“No, no. I’m not afraid of that. I just . . . I can’t let him go. If he didn ’t come back . . . ” I shuddered,
closing my eyes to escape the thought.

Jacob was quiet.

I kept whispering, my eyes shut. “If anyone gets hurt, it will always be my fault. And even if no one does .
. . I was horrible. I had to be, to convince him to stay with me. He won’t hold it against me, but I ’ll
always know what I ’m capable of. ” I felt just a tiny bit better, getting this off my chest. Even if I could
only confess it to Jacob.

He snorted. My eyes opened slowly, and I was sad to see that the hard mask was back.

“I can’t believe he let you talk him out of going. I wouldn ’t miss this for anything. ”

I sighed. “I know.”

“That doesn ’t mean anything, though. ” He was suddenly backtracking. “That doesn ’t mean that he loves
you more than I do. ”

“But you wouldn ’t stay with me, even if I begged. ”

He pursed his lips for a moment, and I wondered if he would try to deny it. We both knew the truth. “
That ’s only because I know you better, ” he said at last. “Everything ’s going to go without a hitch. Even if
you’d asked and I’d said no, you wouldn ’t be mad at me afterwards. ”

“If everything does go without a hitch, you ’re probably right. I wouldn ’t be mad. But the whole time you ’
re gone, I ’ll be sick with worry, Jake. Crazy with it. ”

“Why? ” he asked gruffly. “Why does it matter to you if something happens to me? ”

“Don’t say that. You know how much you mean to me. I ’m sorry it ’s not in the way you want, but that ’s
just how it is. You ’re my best friend. At least, you used to be. And still sometimes are . . . when you let
your guard down. ”

He smiled the old smile that I loved. “I’m always that, ” he promised. “Even when I don ’t . . . behave as
well as I should. Underneath, I ’m always in here. ”

“I know. Why else would I put up with all of your crap? ”

He laughed with me, and then his eyes were sad. “When are you finally going to figure out that you ’re in
love with me, too? ”

“Leave it to you to ruin the moment. ”

“I’m not saying you don ’t love him. I ’m not stupid. But it ’s possible to love more than one person at a
time, Bella. I ’ve seen it in action. ”

“I’m not some freaky werewolf, Jacob. ”

He wrinkled his nose, and I was about to apologize for that last jab, but he changed the subject.




“We’re not far now, I can smell him. ”

I sighed in relief.

He misinterpreted my meaning. “I’d happily slow down, Bella, but you ’re going to want to be under
shelter before that hits. ”

We both looked up at the sky.

A solid wall of purple-black cloud was racing in from the west, blackening the forest beneath it as it
came.

“Wow,” I muttered. “You’d better hurry, Jake. You ’ll want to get home before it gets here. ”

“I’m not going home. ”

I glared at him, exasperated. “You’re not camping with us. ”

“Not technically — as in, sharing your tent or anything. I prefer the storm to the smell. But I ’m sure your
bloodsucker will want to keep in touch with the pack for coordination purposes, and so I will graciously
provide that service. ”

“I thought that was Seth ’s job.”

“He’ll take over tomorrow, during the fight. ”

The reminder silenced me for a second. I stared at him, worry springing up again with sudden fierceness.

“I don’t suppose there ’s any way you ’d just stay since you ’re already here? ” I suggested. “If I did beg?
Or trade back the lifetime of servitude or something? ”

“Tempting, but no. Then again, the begging might be interesting to see. You can give it a go if you like. ”

“There ’s really nothing, nothing at all I can say? ”

“Nope. Not unless you can promise me a better fight. Anyway, Sam ’s calling the shots, not me. ”

That reminded me.

“Edward told me something the other day . . . about you. ”

He bristled. “It’s probably a lie. ”

“Oh, really? You aren ’t second in command of the pack, then? ”

He blinked, his face going blank with surprise. “Oh. That. ”

“How come you never told me that? ”

“Why would I? It ’s no big thing. ”

“I don’t know. Why not? It ’s interesting. So, how does that work? How did Sam end up as the Alpha,
and you as the . . . the Beta? ”

Jacob chuckled at my invented term. “Sam was the first, the oldest. It made sense for him to take charge.
”




I frowned. “But shouldn ’t Jared or Paul be second, then? They were the next to change. ”

“Well . . . it ’s hard to explain, ” Jacob said evasively.

“Try. ”

He sighed. “It’s more about the lineage, you know? Sort of old-fashioned. Why should it matter who
your grandpa was, right? ”

I remembered something Jacob had told me a long time ago, before either of us had known anything
about werewolves.

“Didn ’t you say that Ephraim Black was the last chief the Quileutes had? ”

“Yeah, that ’s right. Because he was the Alpha. Did you know that, technically, Sam ’s the chief of the
whole tribe now? ” He laughed. “Crazy traditions. ”

I thought about that for a second, trying to make all the pieces fit. “But you also said that people listened
to your dad more than anyone else on the council, because he was Ephraim ’s grandson? ”

“What about it? ”

“Well, if it ’s about the lineage . . . shouldn ’t you be the chief, then? ”

Jacob didn ’t answer me. He stared into the darkening forest, as if he suddenly needed to concentrate on
where he was going.

“Jake?”

“No. That’s Sam’s job.” He kept his eyes on our pathless course.

“Why? His great-granddad was Levi Uley, right? Was Levi an Alpha, too? ”

“There ’s only one Alpha, ” he answered automatically.

“So what was Levi? ”

“Sort of a Beta, I guess. ” He snorted at my term. “Like me. ”

“That doesn ’t make sense. ”

“It doesn ’t matter. ”

“I just want to understand. ”

Jacob finally met my confused gaze, and then sighed. “Yeah. I was supposed to be the Alpha. ”

My eyebrows pulled together. “Sam didn ’t want to step down? ”

“Hardly. I didn ’t want to step up. ”

“Why not? ”

He frowned, uncomfortable with my questions. Well, it was his turn to feel uncomfortable.

“I didn ’t want any of it, Bella. I didn ’t want anything to change. I didn ’t want to be some legendary chief.




I didn ’t want to be part of a pack of werewolves, let alone their leader. I wouldn ’t take it when Sam
offered. ”

I thought about this for a long moment. Jacob didn ’t interrupt. He stared into the forest again.

“But I thought you were happier. That you were okay with this, ” I finally whispered.

Jacob smiled down at me reassuringly. “Yeah. It ’s really not so bad. Exciting sometimes, like with this
thing tomorrow. But at first it sort of felt like being drafted into a war you didn ’t know existed. There was
no choice, you know? And it was so final. ” He shrugged. “Anyway, I guess I ’m glad now. It has to be
done, and could I trust someone else to get it right? It ’s better to make sure myself. ”

I stared at him, feeling an unexpected kind of awe for my friend. He was more of a grown-up than I ’d
ever given him credit for. Like with Billy the other night at the bonfire, there was a majesty here that I ’d
never suspected.

“Chief Jacob, ” I whispered, smiling at the way the words sounded together.

He rolled his eyes.

Just then, the wind shook more fiercely through the trees around us, and it felt like it was blowing straight
off a glacier. The sharp sound of wood cracking echoed off the mountain. Though the light was vanishing
as the grisly cloud covered the sky, I could still see the little white specks that fluttered past us.

Jacob stepped up the pace, keeping his eyes on the ground now as he flat out sprinted. I curled more
willingly against his chest, recoiling from the unwelcome snow.

It was only minutes later that he dashed around to the lee side of the stony peak and we could see the
little tent nestled up against the sheltering face. More flurries were falling around us, but the wind was too
fierce to let them settle anywhere.

“Bella! ” Edward called out in acute relief. We ’d caught him in the middle of pacing back and forth across
the little open space.

He flashed to my side, sort of blurring as he moved so swiftly. Jacob cringed, and then set me on my feet.
Edward ignored his reaction and caught me in a tight hug.

“Thank you, ” Edward said over my head. His tone was unmistakably sincere. “That was quicker than I
expected, and I truly appreciate it. ”

I twisted to see Jacob ’s response.

Jacob merely shrugged, all the friendliness wiped clean from his face. “Get her inside. This is going to be
bad — my hair ’s standing up on my scalp. Is that tent secure? ”

“I all but welded it to the rock. ”

“Good.”

Jacob looked up at the sky — now black with the storm, sprinkled with the swirling bits of snow. His
nostrils flared.

“I’m going to change, ” he said. “I want to know what ’s going on back home. ”

He hung his jacket on a low, stubby branch, and walked into the murky forest without a backward




glance.



22. FIRE AND ICE

THE WIND SHOOK THE TENT AGAIN, AND I SHOOK WITH IT.

The temperature was dropping. I could feel it through the down bag, through my jacket. I was fully
dressed, my hiking boots still laced into place. It didn ’t make any difference. How could it be so cold?
How could it keep getting colder? It had to bottom out sometime, didn ’t it?

“W-w-w-w-w-what t-t-t-t-time is it? ” I forced the words through my rattling teeth.

“Two,” Edward answered.

Edward sat as far from me as possible in the cramped space, afraid to even breathe on me when I was
already so cold. It was too dark to see his face, but his voice was wild with worry, indecision, and
frustration.

“Maybe . . .”

“No, I’m f-f-f-f-f-fine, r-r-r-really. I don ’t w-w-w-want to g-go outside. ”

He’d tried to talk me into making a run for it a dozen times already, but I was terrified of leaving my
shelter. If it was this cold in here, protected from the raging wind, I could imagine how bad it would be if
we were running through it.

And it would waste all our efforts this afternoon. Would we have enough time to reset ourselves when the
storm was over? What if it didn ’t end? It made no sense to move now. I could shiver my way through
one night.

I was worried that the trail I had laid would be lost, but he promised that it would still be plain to the
coming monsters.

“What can I do? ” he almost begged.

I just shook my head.

Out in the snow, Jacob whined unhappily.

“G-g-g-get out of h-h-h-ere, ” I ordered, again.

“He’s just worried about you, ” Edward translated. “He’s fine. His body is equipped to deal with this. ”

“H-h-h-h-h-h. ” I wanted to say that he should still leave, but I couldn ’t get it past my teeth. I nearly bit
my tongue off trying. At least Jacob did seem to be well equipped for the snow, better even than the
others in his pack with his thicker, longer, shaggy russet fur. I wondered why that was.

Jacob whimpered, a high-pitched, grating sound of complaint.

“What do you want me to do? ” Edward growled, too anxious to bother with politeness anymore. “Carry
her through that? I don’t see you making yourself useful. Why don ’t you go fetch a space heater or




something? ”

“I’m ok-k-k-k-k-k- kay,” I protested. Judging from Edward ’s groan and the muted growl outside the
tent, I hadn ’t convinced anyone. The wind rocked the tent roughly, and I shuddered in harmony with it.

A sudden howl ripped through the roar of the wind, and I covered my ears against the noise. Edward
scowled.

“That was hardly necessary, ” he muttered. “And that ’s the worst idea I ’ve ever heard, ” he called more
loudly.

“Better than anything you ’ve come up with, ” Jacob answered, his human voice startling me. “Go fetch a
space heater,” he grumbled. “I’m not a St. Bernard. ”

I heard the sound of the zipper around the tent door pulling swiftly down.

Jacob slid through the smallest opening he could manage, while the arctic air flowed in around him, a few
flecks of snow falling to the floor of the tent. I shivered so hard it was a convulsion.

“I don’t like this, ” Edward hissed as Jake zipped the tent door shut. “Just give her the coat and get out. ”

My eyes were adjusted enough to see shapes — Jacob was carrying the parka that had been hanging on
a tree next to the tent.

I tried to ask what they were talking about, but all that came out of my mouth was, “W-w-w-w-w-w,” as
the shivering made me stutter uncontrollably.

“The parka ’s for tomorrow — she’s too cold to warm it up by herself. It ’s frozen. ” He dropped it by the
door. “You said she needed a space heater, and here I am. ” Jacob held his arms as wide as the tent
allowed. As usual, when he ’d been running around as a wolf, he ’d only thrown on the bare essentials —
just a pair of sweats, no shirt, no shoes.

“J-J-J-J-Jake, you’ll f-f-f-freez-z-z-ze, ” I tried to complain.

“Not me,” he said cheerfully. “I run at a toasty one-oh-eight point nine these days. I ’ll have you sweating
in no time. ”

Edward snarled, but Jacob didn ’t even look at him. Instead, he crawled to my side and started unzipping
my sleeping bag.

Edward’s hand was suddenly hard on his shoulder, restraining, snow white against the dark skin. Jacob ’s
jaw clenched, his nostrils flaring, his body recoiling from the cold touch. The long muscles in his arms
flexed automatically.

“Get your hand off of me, ” he growled through his teeth.

“Keep your hands off of her, ” Edward answered blackly.

“D-d-d-don’t f-f-f-f-fight, ” I pleaded. Another tremor rocked through me. It felt like my teeth were going
to shatter, they were slamming together so hard.

“I’m sure she ’ll thank you for this when her toes turn black and drop off, ” Jacob snapped.

Edward hesitated, then his hand fell away and he slid back to his position in the corner.




His voice was flat and frightening. “Watch yourself. ”

Jacob chuckled.

“Scoot over, Bella, ” he said, zipping the sleeping bag open farther.

I stared at him in outrage. No wonder Edward was reacting this way.

“N-n-n-n-n,” I tried to protest.

“Don’t be stupid, ” he said, exasperated. “Don’t you like having ten toes? ”

He crammed his body into the nonexistent space, forcing the zipper up behind himself.

And then I couldn ’t object — I didn ’t want to anymore. He was so warm. His arms constricted around
me, holding me snugly against his bare chest. The heat was irresistible, like air after being underwater for
too long. He cringed when I pressed my icy fingers eagerly against his skin.

“Jeez, you ’re freezing, Bella, ” he complained.

“S-s-s-s-sorry,” I stuttered.

“Try to relax, ” he suggested as another shiver rippled through me violently. “You’ll be warm in a minute.
Of course, you ’d warm up faster if you took your clothes off. ”

Edward growled sharply.

“That ’s just a simple fact, ” Jacob defended himself. “Survival one-oh-one. ”

“C-c-cut it out, Jake, ” I said angrily, though my body refused to even try to pull away from him. “
N-n-n-nobody really n-n-n-n-needs all ten t-t-t-toes. ”

“Don’t worry about the bloodsucker, ” Jacob suggested, and his tone was smug. “He’s just jealous. ”

“Of course I am. ” Edward’s voice was velvet again, under control, a musical murmur in the darkness. “
You don ’t have the faintest idea how much I wish I could do what you ’re doing for her, mongrel. ”

“Those are the breaks, ” Jacob said lightly, but then his tone soured. “At least you know she wishes it was
you.”

“True, ” Edward agreed.

The shuddering slowed, became bearable while they wrangled.

“There, ” Jacob said, pleased. “Feeling better? ”

I was finally able to speak clearly. “Yes.”

“Your lips are still blue, ” he mused. “Want me to warm those up for you, too? You only have to ask. ”

Edward sighed heavily.

“Behave yourself, ” I muttered, pressing my face against his shoulder. He flinched again when my cold
skin touched his, and I smiled with slightly vindictive satisfaction.

It was already warm and snug inside the sleeping bag. Jacob ’s body heat seemed to radiate from every




side — maybe because there was so much of him. I kicked my boots off, and pushed my toes against
his legs. He jumped slightly, and then leaned his head down to press his hot cheek against my numb ear.

I noticed that Jacob ’s skin had a woodsy, musky scent — it fit the setting, here in the middle of the
forest. It was nice. I wondered if the Cullens and the Quileutes weren ’t just playing up that whole odor
issue because of their prejudices. Everyone smelled fine to me.

The storm howled like an animal attacking the tent, but it didn ’t worry me now. Jacob was out of the
cold, and so was I. Plus, I was simply too exhausted to worry about anything — tired from just staying
awake so late, and aching from the muscle spasms. My body relaxed slowly as I thawed, piece by frozen
piece, and then turned limp.

“Jake?” I mumbled sleepily. “Can I ask you something? I ’m not trying to be a jerk or anything, I ’m
honestly curious. ” They were the same words he ’d used in my kitchen . . . how long ago was it now?

“Sure,” he chuckled, remembering.

“Why are you so much furrier than your friends? You don ’t have to answer if I ’m being rude. ” I didn ’t
know the rules for etiquette as they applied to werewolf culture.

“Because my hair is longer, ” he said, amused — my question hadn ’t offended him, at least. He shook his
head so that his unkempt hair — grown out to his chin now — tickled my cheek.

“Oh.” I was surprised, but it made sense. So that was why they ’d all cropped their hair in the beginning,
when they joined the pack. “Then why don ’t you cut it? Do you like to be shaggy? ”

He didn ’t answer right away this time, and Edward laughed under his breath.

“Sorry,” I said, pausing to yawn. “I didn ’t mean to pry. You don ’t have to tell me. ”

Jacob made an annoyed sound. “Oh, he’ll tell you anyway, so I might as well. . . . I was growing my hair
out because . . . it seemed like you liked it better long. ”

“Oh.” I felt awkward. “I, er, like it both ways, Jake. You don ’t need to be . . . inconvenienced. ”

He shrugged. “Turns out it was very convenient tonight, so don ’t worry about it. ”

I didn ’t have anything else to say. As the silence lengthened, my eyelids drooped and shut, and my
breathing grew slower, more even.

“That ’s right, honey, go to sleep, ” Jacob whispered.

I sighed, content, already half-unconscious.

“Seth is here, ” Edward muttered to Jacob, and I suddenly understood the point of the howling.

“Perfect. Now you can keep an eye on everything else, while I take care of your girlfriend for you. ”

Edward didn ’t answer, but I groaned groggily. “Stop it, ” I muttered.

It was quiet then, inside at least. Outside, the wind shrieked insanely through the trees. The shimmying of
the tent made it hard to sleep. The poles would suddenly jerk and quiver, pulling me back from the edge
of unconsciousness each time I was close to slipping under. I felt so bad for the wolf, the boy that was
stuck outside in the snow.




My mind wandered as I waited for sleep to find me. This warm little space made me think of the early
days with Jacob, and I remembered how it used to be when he was my replacement sun, the warmth that
made my empty life livable. It had been a while since I ’d thought of Jake that way, but here he was,
warming me again.

“Please!” Edward hissed. “Do you mind!”

“What?” Jacob whispered back, his tone surprised.

“Do you think you could attempt to control your thoughts? ” Edward’s low whisper was furious.

“No one said you had to listen, ” Jacob muttered, defiant, yet still embarrassed. “Get out of my head. ”

“I wish I could. You have no idea how loud your little fantasies are. It ’s like you ’re shouting them at me. ”

“I’ll try to keep it down, ” Jacob whispered sarcastically.

There was a brief moment of silence.

“Yes,” Edward answered an unspoken thought in a murmur so low I barely made it out. “I’m jealous of
that, too. ”

“I figured it was like that, ” Jacob whispered smugly. “Sort of evens the playing field up a little, doesn ’t it?
”

Edward chuckled. “In your dreams. ”

“You know, she could still change her mind, ” Jacob taunted him. “Considering all the things I could do
with her that you can ’t. At least, not without killing her, that is. ”

“Go to sleep, Jacob, ” Edward murmured. “You’re starting to get on my nerves. ”

“I think I will. I ’m really very comfortable. ”

Edward didn ’t answer.

I was too far gone to ask them to stop talking about me like I wasn ’t there. The conversation had taken
on a dreamlike quality to me, and I wasn ’t sure I was really awake.

“Maybe I would, ” Edward said after a moment, answering a question I hadn ’t heard.

“But would you be honest? ”

“You can always ask and see. ” Edward’s tone made me wonder if I was missing out on a joke.

“Well, you see inside my head — let me see inside yours tonight, it ’s only fair, ” Jacob said.

“Your head is full of questions. Which one do you want me to answer? ”

“The jealousy . . . it has to be eating at you. You can ’t be as sure of yourself as you seem. Unless you
have no emotions at all. ”

“Of course it is, ” Edward agreed, no longer amused. “Right now it ’s so bad that I can barely control my
voice. Of course, it ’s even worse when she ’s away from me, with you, and I can ’t see her. ”

“Do you think about it all the time? ” Jacob whispered. “Does it make it hard to concentrate when she ’s




not with you? ”

“Yes and no, ” Edward said; he seemed determined to answer honestly. “My mind doesn ’t work quite
the same as yours. I can think of many more things at one time. Of course, that means that I ’m always
able to think of you, always able to wonder if that ’s where her mind is, when she ’s quiet and thoughtful. ”

They were both still for a minute.

“Yes, I would guess that she thinks about you often, ” Edward murmured in response to Jacob ’s
thoughts. “More often than I like. She worries that you ’re unhappy. Not that you don ’t know that. Not
that you don ’t use that.”

“I have to use whatever I can, ” Jacob muttered. “I’m not working with your advantages — advantages
like her knowing she ’s in love with you. ”

“That helps, ” Edward agreed in a mild tone.

Jacob was defiant. “She’s in love with me, too, you know. ”

Edward didn ’t answer.

Jacob sighed. “But she doesn’t know it. ”

“I can’t tell you if you ’re right. ”

“Does that bother you? Do you wish you could see what she ’s thinking, too? ”

“Yes . . . and no, again. She likes it better this way, and, though it sometimes drives me insane, I ’d rather
she was happy. ”

The wind ripped around the tent, shaking it like an earthquake. Jacob ’s arms tightened around me
protectively.

“Thank you, ” Edward whispered. “Odd as this might sound, I suppose I ’m glad you ’re here, Jacob. ”

“You mean, ‘as much as I ’d love to kill you, I ’m glad she ’s warm, ’ right? ”

“It’s an uncomfortable truce, isn ’t it? ”

Jacob’s whisper was suddenly smug. “I knew you were just as crazy jealous as I am. ”

“I’m not such a fool as to wear it on my sleeve like you do. It doesn ’t help your case, you know. ”

“You have more patience than I do. ”

“I should. I ’ve had a hundred years to gain it. A hundred years of waiting for her.”

“So . . . at what point did you decide to play the very patient good guy? ”

“When I saw how much it was hurting her to make her choose. It ’s not usually this difficult to control. I
can smother the . . . less civilized feelings I may have for you fairly easily most of the time. Sometimes I
think she sees through me, but I can ’t be sure. ”

“I think you were just worried that if you really forced her to choose, she might not choose you. ”

Edward didn ’t answer right away. “That was a part of it, ” he finally admitted. “But only a small part. We




all have our moments of doubt. Mostly I was worried that she ’d hurt herself trying to sneak away to see
you. After I ’d accepted that she was more or less safe with you — as safe as Bella ever is — it seemed
best to stop driving her to extremes. ”

Jacob sighed. “I’d tell her all of this, but she ’d never believe me. ”

“I know.” It sounded like Edward was smiling.

“You think you know everything, ” Jacob muttered.

“I don’t know the future, ” Edward said, his voice suddenly unsure.

There was a long pause.

“What would you do if she changed her mind? ” Jacob asked.

“I don’t know that either. ”

Jacob chuckled quietly. “Would you try to kill me? ” Sarcastic again, as if doubting Edward ’s ability to do
it.

“No.”

“Why not? ” Jacob’s tone was still jeering.

“Do you really think I would hurt her that way? ”

Jacob hesitated for a second, and then sighed. “Yeah, you ’re right. I know that ’s right. But sometimes . .
.”

“Sometimes it ’s an intriguing idea. ”

Jacob pressed his face into the sleeping bag to muffle his laugher. “Exactly, ” he eventually agreed.

What a strange dream this was. I wondered if it was the relentless wind that made me imagine all the
whispering. Only the wind was screaming rather than whispering . . .

“What is it like? Losing her? ” Jacob asked after a quiet moment, and there was no hint of humor in his
suddenly hoarse voice. “When you thought that you ’d lost her forever? How did you . . . cope? ”

“That ’s very difficult for me to talk about. ”

Jacob waited.

“There were two different times that I thought that. ” Edward spoke each word just a little slower than
normal. “The first time, when I thought I could leave her . . . that was . . . almost bearable. Because I
thought she would forget me and it would be like I hadn ’t touched her life. For over six months I was
able to stay away, to keep my promise that I wouldn ’t interfere again. It was getting close — I was
fighting but I knew I wasn ’t going to win; I would have come back . . . just to check on her. That ’s what
I would have told myself, anyway. And if I ’d found her reasonably happy . . . I like to think that I could
have gone away again.

“But she wasn ’t happy. And I would have stayed. That ’s how she convinced me to stay with her
tomorrow, of course. You were wondering about that before, what could possibly motivate me . . . what
she was feeling so needlessly guilty about. She reminded me of what it did to her when I left — what it




still does to her when I leave. She feels horrible about bringing that up, but she ’s right. I ’ll never be able
to make up for that, but I ’ll never stop trying anyway. ”

Jacob didn ’t respond for a moment, listening to the storm or digesting what he ’d heard, I didn ’t know
which.

“And the other time — when you thought she was dead? ” Jacob whispered roughly.

“Yes.” Edward answered a different question. “It will probably feel like that to you, won ’t it? The way
you perceive us, you might not be able to see her as Bella anymore. But that ’s who she ’ll be. ”

“That ’s not what I asked. ”

Edward’s voice came back fast and hard. “I can’t tell you how it felt. There aren ’t words.”

Jacob’s arms flexed around me.

“But you left because you didn ’t want to make her a bloodsucker. You want her to be human. ”

Edward spoke slowly. “Jacob, from the second that I realized that I loved her, I knew there were only
four possibilities. The first alternative, the best one for Bella, would be if she didn ’t feel as strongly for
me — if she got over me and moved on. I would accept that, though it would never change the way I
felt. You think of me as a . . . living stone — hard and cold. That ’s true. We are set the way we are, and
it is very rare for us to experience a real change. When that happens, as when Bella entered my life, it is a
permanent change. There ’s no going back. . . .

“The second alternative, the one I ’d originally chosen, was to stay with her throughout her human life. It
wasn’t a good option for her, to waste her life with someone who couldn ’t be human with her, but it was
the alternative I could most easily face. Knowing all along that, when she died, I would find a way to die,
too. Sixty years, seventy years — it would seem like a very, very short time to me. . . . But then it proved
much too dangerous for her to live in such close proximity with my world. It seemed like everything that
could go wrong did. Or hung over us . . . waiting to go wrong. I was terrified that I wouldn ’t get those
sixty years if I stayed near her while she was human.

“So I chose option three. Which turned out to be the worst mistake of my very long life, as you know. I
chose to take myself out of her world, hoping to force her into the first alternative. It didn ’t work, and it
very nearly killed us both.

“What do I have left but the fourth option? It ’s what she wants — at least, she thinks she does. I ’ve been
trying to delay her, to give her time to find a reason to change her mind, but she ’s very . . . stubborn. You
know that. I’ll be lucky to stretch this out a few more months. She has a horror of getting older, and her
birthday is in September. . . . ”

“I like option one, ” Jacob muttered.

Edward didn ’t respond.

“You know exactly how much I hate to accept this, ” Jacob whispered slowly, “but I can see that you do
love her . . . in your way. I can ’t argue with that anymore.

“Given that, I don ’t think you should give up on the first alternative, not yet. I think there ’s a very good
chance that she would be okay. After time. You know, if she hadn ’t jumped off a cliff in March . . . and if
you’d waited another six months to check on her. . . . Well, you might have found her reasonably happy.
I had a game plan. ”




Edward chuckled. “Maybe it would have worked. It was a well thought-out plan. ”

“Yeah.” Jake sighed. “But . . . , ” suddenly he was whispering so fast the words got tangled, “give me a
year, bl — Edward. I really think I could make her happy. She ’s stubborn, no one knows that better
than I do, but she ’s capable of healing. She would have healed before. And she could be human, with
Charlie and Renée, and she could grow up, and have kids and . . . be Bella.

“You love her enough that you have to see the advantages of that plan. She thinks you ’re very unselfish .
. . are you really? Can you consider the idea that I might be better for her than you are? ”

“I have considered it, ” Edward answered quietly. “In some ways, you would be better suited for her
than another human. Bella takes some looking after, and you ’re strong enough that you could protect her
from herself, and from everything that conspires against her. You have done that already, and I ’ll owe
you for that for as long as I live — forever — whichever comes first. . . .

“I even asked Alice if she could see that — see if Bella would be better off with you. She couldn ’t, of
course. She can ’t see you, and then Bella ’s sure of her course, for now.

“But I ’m not stupid enough to make the same mistake I made before, Jacob. I won ’t try to force her into
that first option again. As long as she wants me, I ’m here. ”

“And if she were to decide that she wanted me? ” Jacob challenged. “Okay, it ’s a long shot, I ’ll give you
that.”

“I would let her go. ”

“Just like that? ”

“In the sense that I ’d never show her how hard it was for me, yes. But I would keep watch. You see,
Jacob, you might leave her someday. Like Sam and Emily, you wouldn ’t have a choice. I would always
be waiting in the wings, hoping for that to happen. ”

Jacob snorted quietly. “Well, you ’ve been much more honest than I had any right to expect . . . Edward.
Thanks for letting me in your head. ”

“As I said, I ’m feeling oddly grateful for your presence in her life tonight. It was the least I could do. . . .
You know, Jacob, if it weren ’t for the fact that we ’re natural enemies and that you ’re also trying to steal
away the reason for my existence, I might actually like you. ”

“Maybe . . . if you weren ’t a disgusting vampire who was planning to suck out the life of the girl I love . .
. well, no, not even then. ”

Edward chuckled.

“Can I ask you something? ” Edward said after a moment.

“Why would you have to ask? ”

“I can only hear if you think of it. It ’s just a story that Bella seemed reluctant to tell me about the other
day. Something about a third wife . . . ? ”

“What about it? ”

Edward didn ’t answer, listening to the story in Jacob ’s head. I heard his low hiss in the darkness.




“What?” Jacob demanded again.

“Of course, ” Edward seethed. “Of course! I rather wish your elders had kept that story to themselves,
Jacob.”

“You don ’t like the leeches being painted as the bad guys? ” Jacob mocked. “You know, they are. Then
and now.”

“I really couldn ’t care less about that part. Can ’t you guess which character Bella would identify with? ”

It took Jacob a minute. “Oh. Ugh. The third wife. Okay, I see your point. ”

“She wants to be there in the clearing. To do what little she can, as she puts it. ” He sighed. “That was the
secondary reason for my staying with her tomorrow. She ’s quite inventive when she wants something. ”

“You know, your military brother gave her the idea just as much as the story did. ”

“Neither side meant any harm, ” Edward whispered, peace-making now.

“And when does this little truce end? ” Jacob asked. “First light? Or do we wait until after the fight? ”

There was a pause as they both considered.

“First light, ” they whispered together, and then laughed quietly.

“Sleep well, Jacob, ” Edward murmured. “Enjoy the moment. ”

It was quiet again, and the tent held still for a few minutes. The wind seemed to have decided that it wasn
’t going to flatten us after all, and was giving up the fight.

Edward groaned softly. “I didn ’t mean that quite so literally. ”

“Sorry,” Jacob whispered. “You could leave, you know — give us a little privacy. ”

“Would you like me to help you sleep, Jacob? ” Edward offered.

“You could try, ” Jacob said, unconcerned. “It would be interesting to see who walked away, wouldn ’t
it?”

“Don’t tempt me too far, wolf. My patience isn ’t that perfect. ”

Jacob whispered a laugh. “I’d rather not move just now, if you don ’t mind. ”

Edward started humming to himself, louder than usual — trying to drown out Jacob ’s thoughts, I
assumed. But it was my lullaby he hummed, and, despite my growing discomfort with this whispered
dream, I sank deeper into unconsciousness . . . into other dreams that made better sense. . . .



23. MONSTER

WHEN I WOKE UP IN THE MORNING, IT WAS VERY bright — even inside the tent, the sunlight
hurt my eyes. And I was sweating, as Jacob had predicted. Jacob was snoring lightly in my ear, his arms
still wrapped around me.




I pulled my head away from his feverishly warm chest and felt the sting of the cold morning on my
clammy cheek. Jacob sighed in his sleep; his arms tightened unconsciously.

I squirmed, unable to loosen his hold, struggling to lift my head enough to see. . . .

Edward met my gaze evenly. His expression was calm, but the pain in his eyes was unconcealed.

“Is it any warmer out there? ” I whispered.

“Yes. I don ’t think the space heater will be necessary today. ”

I tried to get to the zipper, but I couldn ’t free my arms. I strained, fighting against Jacob ’s inert strength.
Jacob muttered, still fast asleep, his arms constricting again.

“Some help? ” I asked quietly.

Edward smiled. “Did you want me to take his arms all the way off? ”

“No, thank you. Just get me free. I ’m going to get heat stroke. ”

Edward unzipped the sleeping bag in a swift, abrupt movement. Jacob fell out, his bare back hitting the
icy floor of the tent.

“Hey!” he complained, his eyes flying open. Instinctively, he flinched away from the cold, rolling onto me.
I gasped as his weight knocked the breath out of me.

And then his weight was gone. I felt the impact as Jacob flew into one of the tent poles and the tent
shuddered.

The growling erupted from all around. Edward was crouching in front of me, and I couldn ’t see his face,
but the snarls were ripping angrily out of his chest. Jacob was half-crouched, too, his whole body
quivering, while growls rumbled through his clenched teeth. Outside the tent, Seth Clearwater ’s vicious
snarls echoed off the rocks.

“Stop it, stop it! ” I yelled, scrambling awkwardly to put myself between them. The space was so small
that I didn ’t have to stretch far to put one hand on each of their chests. Edward wrapped his hand around
my waist, ready to yank me out of the way.

“Stop it, now, ” I warned him.

Under my touch, Jacob began to calm himself. The shaking slowed, but his teeth were still bared, his
eyes furiously focused on Edward. Seth continued to growl, a long unbroken sound, a violent
background to the sudden silence in the tent.

“Jacob?” I asked, waiting until he finally dropped his glare to look at me. “Are you hurt? ”

“Of course not! ” he hissed.

I turned to Edward. He was looking at me, his expression hard and angry. “That wasn ’t nice. You should
say sorry. ”

His eyes widened in disgust. “You must be joking — he was crushing you! ”

“Because you dumped him on the floor! He didn ’t do it on purpose, and he didn ’t hurt me. ”




Edward groaned, revolted. Slowly, he looked up to glare at Jacob with hostile eyes. “My apologies, dog.
”

“No harm done, ” Jacob said, a taunting edge to his voice.

It was still cold, though not as cold as it had been. I curled my arms around my chest.

“Here,” Edward said, calm again. He took the parka off the floor and wrapped it over the top of my
coat.

“That ’s Jacob’s,” I objected.

“Jacob has a fur coat, ” Edward hinted.

“I’ll just use the sleeping bag again, if you don ’t mind. ” Jacob ignored him, climbing around us and sliding
into the down bag. “I wasn ’t quite ready to wake up. That wasn ’t the best night ’s sleep I ever had. ”

“It was your idea, ” Edward said impassively.

Jacob was curled up, his eyes already closed. He yawned. “I didn ’t say it wasn ’t the best night I ’ve ever
spent. Just that I didn ’t get a lot of sleep. I thought Bella was never going to shut up. ”

I winced, wondering what might have come out of my mouth in my sleep. The possibilities were
horrifying.

“I’m glad you enjoyed yourself, ” Edward murmured.

Jacob’s dark eyes fluttered open. “Didn ’t you have a nice night, then? ” he asked, smug.

“It wasn ’t the worst night of my life. ”

“Did it make the top ten? ” Jacob asked with perverse enjoyment.

“Possibly. ”

Jacob smiled and closed his eyes.

“But, ” Edward went on, “if I had been able to take your place last night, it would not have made the top
ten of the best nights of my life. Dream about that. ”

Jacob’s eyes opened into a glare. He sat up stiffly, his shoulders tense.

“You know what? I think it ’s too crowded in here. ”

“I couldn ’t agree more. ”

I elbowed Edward in the ribs — probably giving myself a bruise.

“Guess I ’ll catch up on my sleep later, then. ” Jacob made a face. “I need to talk to Sam anyway. ”

He rolled to his knees and grabbed the door ’s zipper.

Pain crackled down my spine and lodged in my stomach as I abruptly realized that this could be the last
time I would see him. He was going back to Sam, back to fight the horde of bloodthirsty newborn
vampires.




“Jake, wait —” I reached after him, my hand sliding down his arm.

He jerked his arm away before my fingers could find purchase.

“Please, Jake? Won ’t you stay? ”

“No.”

The word was hard and cold. I knew my face gave away my pain, because he exhaled and half a smile
softened his expression.

“Don’t worry about me, Bells. I ’ll be fine, just like I always am. ” He forced a laugh. “’Sides, you think I ’
m going to let Seth go in my place — have all the fun and steal all the glory? Right. ” He snorted.

“Be careful —”

He shoved out of the tent before I could finish.

“Give it a rest, Bella, ” I heard him mutter as he re-zipped the door.

I listened for the sound of his retreating footsteps, but it was perfectly still. No more wind. I could hear
morning birdsong far away on the mountain, and nothing else. Jacob moved in silence now.

I huddled in my coats, and leaned against Edward ’s shoulder. We were quiet for a long time.

“How much longer? ” I asked.

“Alice told Sam it should be an hour or so, ” Edward said, soft and bleak.

“We stay together. No matter what. ”

“No matter what, ” he agreed, his eyes tight.

“I know,” I said. “I’m terrified for them, too. ”

“They know how to handle themselves, ” Edward assured me, purposely making his voice light. “I just
hate missing the fun. ”

Again with the fun. My nostrils flared.

He put his arm around my shoulder. “Don’t worry, ” he urged, and then he kissed my forehead.

As if there was any way to avoid that. “Sure, sure. ”

“Do you want me to distract you? ” He breathed, running his cold fingers along my cheekbone.

I shivered involuntarily; the morning was still frosty.

“Maybe not right now, ” he answered himself, pulling his hand away.

“There are other ways to distract me. ”

“What would you like? ”

“You could tell me about your ten best nights, ” I suggested. “I’m curious. ”

He laughed. “Try to guess. ”




I shook my head. “There ’re too many nights I don ’t know about. A century of them. ”

“I’ll narrow it down for you. All of my best nights have happened since I met you. ”

“Really? ”

“Yes, really — and by quite a wide margin, too. ”

I thought for a minute. “I can only think of mine, ” I admitted.

“They might be the same, ” he encouraged.

“Well, there was the first night. The night you stayed. ”

“Yes, that ’s one of mine, too. Of course, you were unconscious for my favorite part. ”

“That ’s right, ” I remembered. “I was talking that night, too. ”

“Yes,” he agreed.

My face got hot as I wondered again what I might have said while sleeping in Jacob ’s arms. I couldn ’t
remember what I ’d dreamed about, or if I ’d dreamed at all, so that was no help.

“What did I say last night? ” I whispered more quietly than before.

He shrugged instead of answering, and I winced.

“That bad? ”

“Nothing too horrible, ” he sighed.

“Please tell me. ”

“Mostly you said my name, the same as usual. ”

“That ’s not bad,” I agreed cautiously.

“Near the end, though, you started mumbling some nonsense about ‘Jacob, my Jacob. ’” I could hear the
pain, even in the whisper. “Your Jacob enjoyed that quite a lot. ”

I stretched my neck up, straining to reach my lips to the edge of his jaw. I couldn ’t see into his eyes. He
was staring up at the ceiling of the tent.

“Sorry,” I murmured. “That ’s just the way I differentiate. ”

“Differentiate? ”

“Between Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Between the Jacob I like and the one who annoys the hell out of me,
” I explained.

“That makes sense. ” He sounded slightly mollified. “Tell me another favorite night. ”

“Flying home from Italy. ”

He frowned.

“Is that not one of yours? ” I wondered.




“No, it is one of mine, actually, but I ’m surprised it ’s on your list. Weren ’t you under the ludicrous
impression I was just acting from a guilty conscience, and I was going to bolt as soon as the plane doors
opened?”

“Yes.” I smiled. “But, still, you were there. ”

He kissed my hair. “You love me more than I deserve. ”

I laughed at the impossibility of that idea. “Next would be the night after Italy, ” I continued.

“Yes, that ’s on the list. You were so funny. ”

“Funny? ” I objected.

“I had no idea your dreams were so vivid. It took me forever to convince you that you were awake. ”

“I’m still not sure, ” I muttered. “You’ve always seemed more like a dream than reality. Tell me one of
yours, now. Did I guess your first place? ”

“No — that would be two nights ago, when you finally agreed to marry me. ”

I made a face.

“That doesn ’t make your list? ”

I thought about the way he ’d kissed me, the concession I ’d gained, and changed my mind. “Yes . . . it
does. But with reservations. I don ’t understand why it ’s so important to you. You already had me
forever. ”

“A hundred years from now, when you ’ve gained enough perspective to really appreciate the answer, I
will explain it to you. ”

“I’ll remind you to explain — in a hundred years. ”

“Are you warm enough? ” he asked suddenly.

“I’m fine, ” I assured him. “Why? ”

Before he could answer, the silence outside the tent was ripped apart by an earsplitting howl of pain. The
sound ricocheted off the bare rock face of the mountain and filled the air so that it seared from every
direction.

The howl tore through my mind like a tornado, both strange and familiar. Strange because I ’d never
heard such a tortured cry before. Familiar because I knew the voice at once — I recognized the sound
and understood the meaning as perfectly as if I ’d uttered it myself. It made no difference that Jacob was
not human when he cried out. I needed no translation.

Jacob was close. Jacob had heard every word we ’d said. Jacob was in agony.

The howl choked off into a peculiar gurgled sob, and then it was quiet again.

I did not hear his silent escape, but I could feel it — I could feel the absence I had wrongly assumed
before, the empty space he left behind.

“Because your space heater has reached his limit, ” Edward answered quietly. “Truce over, ” he added, so




low I couldn ’t be sure that was really what he ’d said.

“Jacob was listening, ” I whispered. It wasn ’t a question.

“Yes.”

“You knew. ”

“Yes.”

I stared at nothing, seeing nothing.

“I never promised to fight fair, ” he reminded me quietly. “And he deserves to know. ”

My head fell into my hands.

“Are you angry with me? ” he asked.

“Not you,” I whispered. “I’m horrified at me.”

“Don’t torment yourself, ” he pleaded.

“Yes,” I agreed bitterly. “I should save my energy to torment Jacob some more. I wouldn ’t want to leave
any part of him unharmed. ”

“He knew what he was doing. ”

“Do you think that matters? ” I was blinking back tears, and this was easy to hear in my voice. “Do you
think I care whether it ’s fair or whether he was adequately warned? I ’m hurting him. Every time I turn
around, I ’m hurting him again. ” My voice was getting louder, more hysterical. “I’m a hideous person. ”

He wrapped his arms tightly around me. “No, you’re not.”

“I am! What ’s wrong with me? ” I struggled against his arms, and he let them drop. “I have to go find him.
”

“Bella, he ’s already miles away, and it ’s cold.”

“I don’t care. I can ’t just sit here.” I shrugged off Jacob ’s parka, shoved my feet into my boots, and
crawled stiffly to the door; my legs felt numb. “I have to — I have to . . . ” I didn ’t know how to finish the
sentence, didn ’t know what there was to do, but I unzipped the door anyway, and climbed out into the
bright, icy morning.

There was less snow than I would have thought after the fury of last night ’s storm. Probably it had blown
away rather than melted in the sun that now shone low in the southeast, glancing off the snow that
lingered and stabbing at my unadjusted eyes. The air still had a bite to it, but it was dead calm and slowly
becoming more seasonable as the sun rose higher.

Seth Clearwater was curled up on a patch of dry pine needles in the shadow of a thick spruce, his head
on his paws. His sand-colored fur was almost invisible against the dead needles, but I could see the
bright snow reflect off his open eyes. He was staring at me with what I imagined was an accusation.

I knew Edward was following me as I stumbled toward the trees. I couldn ’t hear him, but the sun
reflected off his skin in glittering rainbows that danced ahead of me. He didn ’t reach out to stop me until I
was several paces into the forest shadows.




His hand caught my left wrist. He ignored it when I tried to yank myself free.

“You can ’t go after him. Not today. It ’s almost time. And getting yourself lost wouldn ’t help anyone,
regardless. ”

I twisted my wrist, pulling uselessly.

“I’m sorry, Bella, ” he whispered. “I’m sorry I did that. ”

“You didn ’t do anything. It ’s my fault. I did this. I did everything wrong. I could have . . . When he . . . I
shouldn ’t have . . . I . . . I . . . ” I was sobbing.

“Bella, Bella. ”

His arms folded around me, and my tears soaked into his shirt.

“I should have — told him — I should — have said —” What? What could have made this right? “He
shouldn ’t have — found out like this. ”

“Do you want me to see if I can bring him back, so that you can talk to him? There ’s still a little time, ”
Edward murmured, hushed agony in his voice.

I nodded into his chest, afraid to see his face.

“Stay by the tent. I ’ll be back soon. ”

His arms disappeared. He left so quickly that, in the second it took me to look up, he was already gone.
I was alone.

A new sob broke from my chest. I was hurting everyone today. Was there anything I touched that didn ’t
get spoiled?

I didn ’t know why it was hitting me so hard now. It wasn ’t like I hadn ’t known this was coming all along.
But Jacob had never reacted so strongly — lost his bold overconfidence and shown the intensity of his
pain. The sound of his agony still cut at me, somewhere deep in my chest. Right beside it was the other
pain. Pain for feeling pain over Jacob. Pain for hurting Edward, too. For not being able to watch Jacob
go with composure, knowing that it was the right thing, the only way.

I was selfish, I was hurtful. I tortured the ones I loved.

I was like Cathy, like Wuthering Heights, only my options were so much better than hers, neither one
evil, neither one weak. And here I sat, crying about it, not doing anything productive to make it right. Just
like Cathy.

I couldn ’t allow what hurt me to influence my decisions anymore. It was too little, much too late, but I
had to do what was right now. Maybe it was already done for me. Maybe Edward would not be able to
bring him back. And then I would accept that and get on with my life. Edward would never see me shed
another tear for Jacob Black. There would be no more tears. I wiped the last of them away with cold
fingers now.

But if Edward did return with Jacob, that was it. I had to tell him to go away and never come back.

Why was that so hard? So very much more difficult than saying goodbye to my other friends, to Angela,
to Mike? Why did that hurt? It wasn ’t right. That shouldn ’t be able to hurt me. I had what I wanted. I
couldn ’t have them both, because Jacob could not be just my friend. It was time to give up wishing for




that. How ridiculously greedy could any one person be?

I had to get over this irrational feeling that Jacob belonged in my life. He couldn ’t belong with me, could
not be my Jacob, when I belonged to someone else.

I walked slowly back to the little clearing, my feet dragging. When I broke into the open space, blinking
against the sharp light, I threw one quick glance toward Seth — he hadn ’t moved from his bed of pine
needles — and then looked away, avoiding his eyes.

I could feel that my hair was wild, twisted into clumps like Medusa ’s snakes. I yanked through it with my
fingers, and then gave up quickly. Who cared what I looked like, anyway?

I grabbed the canteen hanging beside the tent door and shook it. It sloshed wetly, so I unscrewed the lid
and took a swig to rinse my mouth with the ice water. There was food somewhere nearby, but I didn ’t
feel hungry enough to look for it. I started pacing across the bright little space, feeling Seth ’s eyes on me
the whole time. Because I wouldn ’t look at him, in my head he became the boy again, rather than the
gigantic wolf. So much like a younger Jacob.

I wanted to ask Seth to bark or give some other sign if Jacob was coming back, but I stopped myself. It
didn ’t matter if Jacob came back. It might be easier if he didn ’t. I wished I had some way to call
Edward.

Seth whined at that moment, and got to his feet.

“What is it? ” I asked him stupidly.

He ignored me, trotting to the edge of the trees, and pointing his nose toward the west. He began
whimpering.

“Is it the others, Seth? ” I demanded. “In the clearing? ”

He looked at me and yelped softly once, and then turned his nose alertly back to the west. His ears laid
back and he whined again.

Why was I such a fool? What was I thinking, sending Edward away? How was I supposed to know
what was going on? I didn ’t speak wolf.

A cold trickle of fear began to ooze down my spine. What if the time had run out? What if Jacob and
Edward got too close? What if Edward decided to join in the fight?

The icy fear pooled in my stomach. What if Seth ’s distress had nothing to do with the clearing, and his
yelp had been a denial? What if Jacob and Edward were fighting with each other, far away somewhere in
the forest? They wouldn ’t do that, would they?

With sudden, chilling certainty I realized that they would — if the wrong words were said. I thought of
the tense standoff in the tent this morning, and I wondered if I ’d underestimated how close it had come to
a fight.

It would be no more than I deserved if I somehow lost them both.

The ice locked around my heart.

Before I could collapse with fear, Seth grumbled slightly, deep in his chest, and then turned away from his
watch and sauntered back toward his resting place. It calmed me, but irritated me. Couldn ’t he scratch a




message in the dirt or something?

The pacing was starting to make me sweat under all my layers. I threw my jacket into the tent, and then I
went back to wearing a path across the center of the tiny break in the trees.

Seth jumped to his feet again suddenly, the hackles on the back of his neck standing up stiffly. I looked
around, but saw nothing. If Seth didn ’t cut it out, I was going to throw a pinecone at him.

He growled, a low warning sound, slinking back toward the western rim, and I rethought my impatience.

“It’s just us, Seth, ” Jacob called from a distance.

I tried to explain to myself why my heart kicked into fourth gear when I heard him. It was just fear of
what I was going to have to do now, that was all. I could not allow myself to be relieved that he ’d come
back. That would be the opposite of helpful.

Edward walked into view first, his face blank and smooth. When he stepped out from the shadows, the
sun shimmered on his skin like it did on the snow. Seth went to greet him, looking intently into his eyes.
Edward nodded slowly, and worry creased his forehead.

“Yes, that ’s all we need, ” he muttered to himself before addressing the big wolf. “I suppose we shouldn ’t
be surprised. But the timing is going to be very close. Please have Sam ask Alice to try to nail the
schedule down better. ”

Seth dipped his head once, and I wished I was able to growl. Sure, he could nod now. I turned my head,
annoyed, and realized that Jacob was there.

He had his back to me, facing the way he ’d come. I waited warily for him to turn around.

“Bella, ” Edward murmured, suddenly right beside me. He stared down at me with nothing but concern
showing in his eyes. There was no end to his generosity. I deserved him now less than I ever had.

“There ’s a bit of a complication, ” he told me, his voice carefully unworried. “I’m going to take Seth a
little ways away and try to straighten it out. I won ’t go far, but I won ’t listen, either. I know you don ’t
want an audience, no matter which way you decide to go. ”

Only at the very end did the pain break into his voice.

I had to never hurt him again. That would be my mission in life. Never again would I be the reason for
this look to come into his eyes.

I was too upset to even ask him what the new problem was. I didn ’t need anything else right now.

“Hurry back, ” I whispered.

He kissed me lightly on the lips, and then disappeared into the forest with Seth at his side.

Jacob was still in the shadow of the trees; I couldn ’t see his expression clearly.

“I’m in a hurry, Bella, ” he said in a dull voice. “Why don ’t you get it over with? ”

I swallowed, my throat suddenly so dry I wasn ’t sure if I could make sound come out.

“Just say the words, and be done with it. ”




I took a deep breath.

“I’m sorry I ’m such a rotten person, ” I whispered. “I’m sorry I ’ve been so selfish. I wish I ’d never met
you, so I couldn ’t hurt you the way I have. I won ’t do it anymore, I promise. I ’ll stay far away from you.
I’ll move out of the state. You won ’t have to look at me ever again. ”

“That ’s not much of an apology, ” he said bitterly.

I couldn ’t make my voice louder than a whisper. “Tell me how to do it right. ”

“What if I don ’t want you to go away? What if I ’d rather you stayed, selfish or not? Don ’t I get any say,
if you ’re trying to make things up to me? ”

“That won ’t help anything, Jake. It was wrong to stay with you when we wanted such different things. It ’
s not going to get better. I ’ll just keep hurting you. I don ’t want to hurt you anymore. I hate it. ” My voice
broke.

He sighed. “Stop. You don ’t have to say anything else. I understand. ”

I wanted to tell him how much I would miss him, but I bit my tongue. That would not help anything,
either.

He stood quietly for a moment, staring at the ground, and I fought against the urge to go and put my arms
around him. To comfort him.

And then his head snapped up.

“Well, you ’re not the only one capable of self-sacrifice, ” he said, his voice stronger. “Two can play at
that game. ”

“What?”

“I’ve behaved pretty badly myself. I ’ve made this much harder for you than I needed to. I could have
given up with good grace in the beginning. But I hurt you, too. ”

“This is my fault. ”

“I won’t let you claim all the blame here, Bella. Or all the glory either. I know how to redeem myself. ”

“What are you talking about? ” I demanded. The sudden, frenzied light in his eyes frightened me.

He glanced up at the sun and then smiled at me. “There ’s a pretty serious fight brewing down there. I don
’t think it will be that difficult to take myself out of the picture. ”

His words sank into my brain, slowly, one by one, and I couldn ’t breathe. Despite all my intentions to cut
Jacob out of my life completely, I didn ’t realize until that precise second exactly how deep the knife
would have to go to do it.

“Oh, no, Jake! No, no no no, ” I choked out in horror. “No, Jake, no. Please, no. ” My knees began to
tremble.

“What’s the difference, Bella? This will only make it more convenient for everyone. You won ’t even have
to move. ”

“No!” My voice got louder. “No, Jacob! I won ’t let you! ”




“How will you stop me? ” he taunted lightly, smiling to take the sting out of his tone.

“Jacob, I’m begging you. Stay with me. ” I would have fallen to my knees, if I could have moved at all.

“For fifteen minutes while I miss a good brawl? So that you can run away from me as soon as you think I
’m safe again? You ’ve got to be kidding. ”

“I won’t run away. I ’ve changed my mind. We ’ll work something out, Jacob. There ’s always a
compromise. Don ’t go!”

“You’re lying. ”

“I’m not. You know what a terrible liar I am. Look in my eyes. I ’ll stay if you do. ”

His face hardened. “And I can be your best man at the wedding? ”

It was a moment before I could speak, and still the only answer I could give him was, “Please.”

“That ’s what I thought, ” he said, his face going calm again, but for the turbulent light in his eyes.

“I love you, Bella, ” he murmured.

“I love you, Jacob, ” I whispered brokenly.

He smiled. “I know that better than you do. ”

He turned to walk away.

“Anything, ” I called after him in a strangled voice. “Anything you want, Jacob. Just don ’t do this! ”

He paused, turning slowly.

“I don’t really think you mean that. ”

“Stay,” I begged.

He shook his head. “No, I’m going. ” He paused, as if deciding something. “But I could leave it to fate. ”

“What do you mean? ” I choked out.

“I don’t have to do anything deliberate — I could just do my best for my pack and let what happens
happen. ” He shrugged. “If you could convince me you really did want me to come back — more than
you wanted to do the selfless thing. ”

“How?” I asked.

“You could ask me, ” he suggested.

“Come back,” I whispered. How could he doubt that I meant it?

He shook his head, smiling again. “That ’s not what I ’m talking about. ”

It took me a second to grasp what he was saying, and all the while he was looking at me with this
superior expression — so sure of my reaction. As soon as the realization hit, though, I blurted out the
words without stopping to count the cost.




“Will you kiss me, Jacob? ”

His eyes widened in surprise, then narrowed suspiciously. “You’re bluffing. ”

“Kiss me, Jacob. Kiss me, and then come back. ”

He hesitated in the shadow, warring with himself. He half-turned again to the west, his torso twisting
away from me while his feet stayed planted where they were. Still looking away, he took one uncertain
step in my direction, and then another. He swung his face around to look at me, his eyes doubtful.

I stared back. I had no idea what expression was on my face.

Jacob rocked back on his heels, and then lurched forward, closing the distance between us in three long
strides.

I knew he would take advantage of the situation. I expected it. I held very still — my eyes closed, my
fingers curled into fists at my sides — as his hands caught my face and his lips found mine with an
eagerness that was not far from violence.

I could feel his anger as his mouth discovered my passive resistance. One hand moved to the nape of my
neck, twisting into a fist around the roots of my hair. The other hand grabbed roughly at my shoulder,
shaking me, then dragging me to him. His hand continued down my arm, finding my wrist and pulling my
arm up around his neck. I left it there, my hand still tightly balled up, unsure how far I could go in my
desperation to keep him alive. All the while his lips, disconcertingly soft and warm, tried to force a
response out of mine.

As soon as he was sure I wouldn ’t drop my arm, he freed my wrist, his hand feeling its way down to my
waist. His burning hand found the skin at the small of my back, and he yanked me forward, bowing my
body against his.

His lips gave up on mine for a moment, but I knew he was nowhere close to finished. His mouth followed
the line of my jaw, and then explored the length of my neck. He freed my hair, reaching for my other arm
to draw it around his neck like the first.

Then both of his arms were constricted around my waist, and his lips found my ear.

“You can do better than this, Bella, ” he whispered huskily. “You’re overthinking it. ”

I shivered as I felt his teeth graze my earlobe.

“That ’s right, ” he murmured. “For once, just let yourself feel what you feel. ”

I shook my head mechanically until one of his hands wound back into my hair and stopped me.

His voice turned acidic. “Are you sure you want me to come back? Or did you really want me to die? ”

Anger rocked through me like the whiplash after a heavy punch. That was too much — he wasn ’t fighting
fair.

My arms were already around his neck, so I grabbed two fistfuls of his hair — ignoring the stabbing pain
in my right hand — and fought back, struggling to pull my face away from his.

And Jacob misunderstood.

He was too strong to recognize that my hands, trying to yank his hair out by the roots, meant to cause




him pain. Instead of anger, he imagined passion. He thought I was finally responding to him.

With a wild gasp, he brought his mouth back to mine, his fingers clutching frantically against the skin at
my waist.

The jolt of anger unbalanced my tenuous hold on self-control; his unexpected, ecstatic response
overthrew it entirely. If there had been only triumph, I might have been able to resist him. But the utter
defenselessness of his sudden joy cracked my determination, disabled it. My brain disconnected from my
body, and I was kissing him back. Against all reason, my lips were moving with his in strange, confusing
ways they ’d never moved before — because I didn ’t have to be careful with Jacob, and he certainly
wasn’t being careful with me.

My fingers tightened in his hair, but I was pulling him closer now.

He was everywhere. The piercing sunlight turned my eyelids red, and the color fit, matched the heat. The
heat was everywhere. I couldn ’t see or hear or feel anything that wasn ’t Jacob.


The tiny piece of my brain that retained sanity screamed questions at me.

Why wasn ’t I stopping this? Worse than that, why couldn ’t I find in myself even the desire to want to
stop? What did it mean that I didn ’t want him to stop? That my hands clung to his shoulders, and liked
that they were wide and strong? That his hands pulled me too tight against his body, and yet it was not
tight enough for me?

The questions were stupid, because I knew the answer: I ’d been lying to myself.

Jacob was right. He ’d been right all along. He was more than just my friend. That ’s why it was so
impossible to tell him goodbye — because I was in love with him. Too. I loved him, much more than I
should, and yet, still nowhere near enough. I was in love with him, but it was not enough to change
anything; it was only enough to hurt us both more. To hurt him worse than I ever had.

I didn ’t care about more than that — than his pain. I more than deserved whatever pain this caused me. I
hoped it was bad. I hoped I would really suffer.

In this moment, it felt as though we were the same person. His pain had always been and would always
be my pain — now his joy was my joy. I felt joy, too, and yet his happiness was somehow also pain.
Almost tangible — it burned against my skin like acid, a slow torture.

For one brief, never-ending second, an entirely different path expanded behind the lids of my tear-wet
eyes. As if I were looking through the filter of Jacob ’s thoughts, I could see exactly what I was going to
give up, exactly what this new self-knowledge would not save me from losing. I could see Charlie and
Renée mixed into a strange collage with Billy and Sam and La Push. I could see years passing, and
meaning something as they passed, changing me. I could see the enormous red-brown wolf that I loved,
always standing as protector if I needed him. For the tiniest fragment of that second, I saw the bobbing
heads of two small, black-haired children, running away from me into the familiar forest. When they
disappeared, they took the rest of the vision with them.

And then, quite distinctly, I felt the splintering along the fissure line in my heart as the smaller part
wrenched itself away from the whole.

Jacob’s lips were still before mine were. I opened my eyes and he was staring at me with wonder and
elation.

“I have to leave, ” he whispered.




“No.”

He smiled, pleased by my response. “I won’t be long, ” he promised. “But one thing first . . . ”

He bent to kiss me again, and there was no reason to resist. What would be the point?

This time was different. His hands were soft on my face and his warm lips were gentle, unexpectedly
hesitant. It was brief, and very, very sweet.

His arms curled around me, and he hugged me securely while he whispered in my ear.

“That should have been our first kiss. Better late than never. ”

Against his chest, where he couldn ’t see, the tears welled up and spilled over.



24. SNAP DECISION

I LAY FACEDOWN ACROSS THE SLEEPING BAG, WAITING for justice to find me. Maybe an
avalanche would bury me here. I wished it would. I never wanted to have to see my face in the mirror
again.

There was no sound to warn me. Out of nowhere, Edward ’s cold hand stroked against my knotted hair.
I shuddered guiltily at his touch.

“Are you all right? ” he murmured, his voice anxious.

“No. I want to die. ”

“That will never happen. I won ’t allow it. ”

I groaned and then whispered, “You might change your mind about that. ”

“Where’s Jacob?”

“He went to fight, ” I mumbled into the floor.

Jacob had left the little camp joyfully — with a cheerful “I’ll be right back ” — running full tilt for the
clearing, already quivering as he prepared to shift to his other self. By now the whole pack knew
everything. Seth Clearwater, pacing outside the tent, was an intimate witness to my disgrace.

Edward was silent for a long moment. “Oh,” he finally said.

The tone of his voice worried me that my avalanche wasn ’t coming fast enough. I peeked up at him and,
sure enough, his eyes were unfocused as he listened to something I ’d rather die than have him hear. I
dropped my face back to the floor.

It stunned me when Edward chuckled reluctantly.

“And I thought I fought dirty, ” he said with grudging admiration. “He makes me look like the patron saint
of ethics. ” His hand brushed against the part of my cheek that was exposed. “I’m not mad at you, love.
Jacob’s more cunning than I gave him credit for. I do wish you hadn ’t asked him, though. ”




“Edward,” I whispered to the rough nylon. “I . . . I . . . I’m —”

“Shh,” he hushed me, his fingers soothing against my cheek. “That ’s not what I meant. It ’s just that he
would have kissed you anyway — even if you hadn ’t fallen for it — and now I don ’t have an excuse to
break his face. I would have really enjoyed that, too. ”

“Fallen for it? ” I mumbled almost incomprehensibly.

“Bella, did you really believe he was that noble? That he would go out in a flame of glory just to clear the
way for me? ”

I raised my head slowly to meet his patient gaze. His expression was soft; his eyes were full of
understanding rather than the revulsion I deserved to see.

“Yes, I did believe that, ” I muttered, and then looked away. But I didn ’t feel any anger at Jacob for
tricking me. There wasn ’t enough room in my body to contain anything besides the hatred I felt toward
myself.

Edward laughed softly again. “You’re such a bad liar, you ’ll believe anyone who has the least bit of skill. ”

“Why aren ’t you angry with me? ” I whispered. “Why don ’t you hate me? Or haven ’t you heard the
whole story yet? ”

“I think I got a fairly comprehensive look, ” he said in a light, easy voice. “Jacob makes vivid mental
pictures. I feel almost as bad for his pack as I do for myself. Poor Seth was getting nauseated. But Sam
is making Jacob focus now. ”

I closed my eyes and shook my head in agony. The sharp nylon fibers of the tent floor scraped against
my skin.

“You’re only human, ” he whispered, stroking my hair again.

“That ’s the most miserable defense I ’ve ever heard. ”

“But you are human, Bella. And, as much as I might wish otherwise, so is he. . . . There are holes in your
life that I can ’t fill. I understand that. ”

“But that ’s not true. That ’s what makes me so horrible. There are no holes. ”

“You love him, ” he murmured gently.

Every cell in my body ached to deny it.

“I love you more, ” I said. It was the best I could do.

“Yes, I know that, too. But . . . when I left you, Bella, I left you bleeding. Jacob was the one to stitch you
back up again. That was bound to leave its mark — on both of you. I ’m not sure those kinds of stitches
dissolve on their own. I can ’t blame either of you for something I made necessary. I may gain
forgiveness, but that doesn ’t let me escape the consequences. ”

“I should have known you ’d find some way to blame yourself. Please stop. I can ’t stand it. ”

“What would you like me to say? ”

“I want you to call me every bad name you can think of, in every language you know. I want you to tell




me that you ’re disgusted with me and that you ’re going to leave so that I can beg and grovel on my knees
for you to stay. ”

“I’m sorry. ” He sighed. “I can’t do that. ”

“At least stop trying to make me feel better. Let me suffer. I deserve it. ”

“No,” he murmured.

I nodded slowly. “You’re right. Keep on being too understanding. That ’s probably worse. ”

He was silent for a moment, and I sensed a charge in the atmosphere, a new urgency.

“It’s getting close, ” I stated.

“Yes, a few more minutes now. Just enough time to say one more thing. . . . ”

I waited. When he finally spoke again, he was whispering. “I can be noble, Bella. I ’m not going to make
you choose between us. Just be happy, and you can have whatever part of me you want, or none at all, if
that’s better. Don ’t let any debt you feel you owe me influence your decision. ”

I pushed off the floor, shoving myself up onto my knees.

“Dammit, stop that! ” I shouted at him.

His eyes widened in surprise. “No — you don ’t understand. I ’m not just trying to make you feel better,
Bella, I really mean it. ”

“I know you do,” I groaned. “What happened to fighting back? Don ’t start with the noble self-sacrifice
now! Fight! ”

“How?” he asked, and his eyes were ancient with their sadness.

I scrambled into his lap, throwing my arms around him.

“I don’t care that it ’s cold here. I don ’t care that I stink like a dog right now. Make me forget how awful
I am. Make me forget him. Make me forget my own name. Fight back! ”

I didn ’t wait for him to decide — or to have the chance to tell me he wasn ’t interested in a cruel, faithless
monster like me. I pulled myself against him and crushed my mouth to his snow-cold lips.

“Careful, love, ” he murmured under my urgent kiss.

“No,” I growled.

He gently pushed my face a few inches back. “You don ’t have to prove anything to me. ”

“I’m not trying to prove something. You said I could have any part of you I wanted. I want this part. I
want every part.” I wrapped my arms around his neck and strained to reach his lips. He bent his head to
kiss me back, but his cool mouth was hesitant as my impatience grew more pronounced. My body was
making my intentions clear, giving me away. Inevitably, his hands moved to restrain me.

“Perhaps this isn ’t the best moment for that, ” he suggested, too calm for my liking.

“Why not? ” I grumbled. There was no point in fighting if he was going to be rational; I dropped my arms.




“Firstly, because it is cold.” He reached out to pull the sleeping bag off the floor; he wrapped it around
me like a blanket.

“Wrong, ” I said. “First, because you are bizarrely moral for a vampire. ”

He chuckled. “All right, I ’ll give you that. The cold is second. And thirdly . . . well, you do actually stink,
love. ”

He wrinkled his nose.

I sighed.

“Fourthly, ” he murmured, dropping his face so that he was whispering in my ear. “We will try, Bella. I ’ll
make good on my promise. But I ’d much rather it wasn ’t in reaction to Jacob Black. ”

I cringed, and buried my face against his shoulder.

“And fifthly . . . ”

“This is a very long list, ” I muttered.

He laughed. “Yes, but did you want to listen to the fight or not? ”

As he spoke, Seth howled stridently outside the tent.

My body stiffened to the sound. I didn ’t realize my left hand was clenched into a fist, nails biting into my
bandaged palm, until Edward took it and gently smoothed my fingers out.

“It’s going to be fine, Bella, ” he promised. “We’ve got skill, training, and surprise on our side. It will be
over very soon. If I didn ’t truly believe that, I would be down there now — and you ’d be here, chained
to a tree or something along those lines. ”

“Alice is so small, ” I moaned.

He chuckled. “That might be a problem . . . if it were possible for someone to catch her. ”

Seth started to whimper.

“What’s wrong? ” I demanded.

“He’s just angry that he ’s stuck here with us. He knows the pack kept him out of the action to protect
him. He ’s salivating to join them. ”

I scowled in Seth ’s general direction.

“The newborns have reached the end of the trail — it worked like a charm, Jasper ’s a genius — and
they ’ve caught the scent of the ones in the meadow, so they ’re splitting into two groups now, as Alice
said,” Edward murmured, his eyes focused on something far away. “Sam’s taking us around to head off
the ambush party. ” He was so intent on what he was hearing that he used the pack plural.

Suddenly he looked down at me. “Breathe, Bella. ”

I struggled to do what he asked. I could hear Seth ’s heavy panting just outside the tent wall, and I tried
to keep my lungs on the same even pace, so that I wouldn ’t hyperventilate.

“The first group is in the clearing. We can hear the fighting. ”




My teeth locked together.

He laughed once. “We can hear Emmett — he’s enjoying himself. ”

I made myself take another breath with Seth.

“The second group is getting ready — they aren ’t paying attention, they haven ’t heard us yet. ”

Edward growled.

“What?” I gasped.

“They ’re talking about you. ” His teeth clenched together. “They ’re supposed to make sure you don ’t
escape. . . . Nice move, Leah! Mmm, she ’s quite fast, ” he murmured in approval. “One of the newborns
caught our scent, and Leah took him down before he could even turn. Sam ’s helping her finish him off.
Paul and Jacob got another one, but the others are on the defensive now. They have no idea what to
make of us. Both sides are feinting. . . . No, let Sam lead. Stay out of the way, ” he muttered. “Separate
them — don’t let them protect each other ’s backs.”

Seth whined.

“That ’s better, drive them toward the clearing, ” Edward approved. His body was shifting unconsciously
as he watched, tensing for moves he would have made. His hands still held mine; I twisted my fingers
through his. At least he wasn ’t down there.

The sudden absence of sound was the only warning.

The deep rush of Seth ’s breathing cut off, and — as I’d paced my breaths with his — I noticed.

I stopped breathing, too — too frightened to even make my lungs work as I realized that Edward had
frozen into a block of ice beside me.

Oh, no. No. No.

Who had been lost? Theirs or ours? Mine, all mine. What was my loss?

So quickly that I wasn ’t exactly sure how it happened, I was on my feet and the tent was collapsing in
ragged shreds around me. Had Edward ripped our way out? Why?

I blinked, shocked, into the brilliant light. Seth was all I could see, right beside us, his face only six inches
from Edward ’s. They stared at each other with absolute concentration for one infinite second. The sun
shattered off Edward ’s skin and sent sparkles dancing across Seth ’s fur.

And then Edward whispered urgently, “Go, Seth! ”

The huge wolf wheeled and disappeared into the forest shadows.

Had two entire seconds passed? It felt like hours. I was terrified to the point of nausea by the knowledge
that something horrible had gone awry in the clearing. I opened my mouth to demand that Edward take
me there, and do it now. They needed him, and they needed me. If I had to bleed to save them, I would
do it. I would die to do it, like the third wife. I had no silver dagger in my hand, but I would find a way —

Before I could get the first syllable out, I felt as if I was being flung through the air. But Edward ’s hands
never let go of me — I was only being moved, so quickly that the sensation was like falling sideways.




I found myself with my back pressed against the sheer cliff face. Edward stood in front of me, holding a
posture that I knew at once.

Relief washed through my mind at the same time that my stomach dropped through the soles of my feet.

I’d misunderstood.

Relief — nothing had gone wrong in the clearing.

Horror — the crisis was here.

Edward held a defensive position — half-crouched, his arms extended slightly — that I recognized with
sickening certainty. The rock at my back could have been the ancient brick walls of the Italian alley
where he had stood between me and the black-cloaked Volturi warriors.

Something was coming for us.

“Who?” I whispered.

The words came through his teeth in a snarl that was louder than I expected. Too loud. It meant that it
was far too late to hide. We were trapped, and it didn ’t matter who heard his answer.

“Victoria, ” he said, spitting the word, making it a curse. “She’s not alone. She crossed my scent,
following the newborns in to watch — she never meant to fight with them. She made a
spur-of-the-moment decision to find me, guessing that you would be wherever I was. She was right. You
were right. It was always Victoria. ”

She was close enough that he could hear her thoughts.

Relief again. If it had been the Volturi, we were both dead. But with Victoria, it didn ’t have to be both.
Edward could survive this. He was a good fighter, as good as Jasper. If she didn ’t bring too many others,
he could fight his way out, back to his family. Edward was faster than anyone. He could make it.

I was so glad he ’d sent Seth away. Of course, there was no one Seth could run to for help. Victoria had
timed her decision perfectly. But at least Seth was safe; I couldn ’t see the huge sandy wolf in my head
when I thought his name — just the gangly fifteen-year-old boy.

Edward’s body shifted — only infinitesimally, but it told me where to look. I stared at the black shadows
of the forest.

It was like having my nightmares walk forward to greet me.

Two vampires edged slowly into the small opening of our camp, eyes intent, missing nothing. They
glistened like diamonds in the sun.

I could barely look at the blond boy — yes, he was just a boy, though he was muscular and tall, maybe
my age when he was changed. His eyes — a more vivid red than I had ever seen before — could not
hold mine. Though he was closest to Edward, the nearest danger, I could not watch him.

Because, a few feet to the side and a few feet back, Victoria was staring at me.

Her orange hair was brighter than I ’d remembered, more like a flame. There was no wind here, but the
fire around her face seemed to shimmer slightly, as if it were alive.

Her eyes were black with thirst. She did not smile, as she always had in my nightmares — her lips were




pressed into a tight line. There was a striking feline quality to the way she held her coiled body, a lioness
waiting for an opening to spring. Her restless, wild gaze flickered between Edward and me, but never
rested on him for more than a half-second. She could not keep her eyes from my face any more than I
could keep mine from hers.

Tension rolled off of her, nearly visible in the air. I could feel the desire, the all-consuming passion that
held her in its grip. Almost as if I could hear her thoughts, too, I knew what she was thinking.

She was so close to what she wanted — the focus of her whole existence for more than a year now was
just so close.

My death.

Her plan was as obvious as it was practical. The big blond boy would attack Edward. As soon as
Edward was sufficiently distracted, Victoria would finish me.

It would be quick — she had no time for games here — but it would be thorough. Something that it
would be impossible to recover from. Something that even vampire venom could not repair.

She’d have to stop my heart. Perhaps a hand shoved through my chest, crushing it. Something along
those lines.

My heart beat furiously, loudly, as if to make her target more obvious.

An immense distance away, from far across the black forest, a wolf ’s howl echoed in the still air. With
Seth gone, there was no way to interpret the sound.

The blond boy looked at Victoria from the corner of his eye, waiting on her command.

He was young in more ways than one. I guessed from his brilliant crimson irises that he couldn ’t have
been a vampire for very long. He would be strong, but inept. Edward would know how to fight him.
Edward would survive.

Victoria jerked her chin toward Edward, wordlessly ordering the boy forward.

“Riley, ” Edward said in a soft, pleading voice.

The blond boy froze, his red eyes widening.

“She’s lying to you, Riley, ” Edward told him. “Listen to me. She ’s lying to you just like she lied to the
others who are dying now in the clearing. You know that she ’s lied to them, that she had you lie to them,
that neither of you were ever going to help them. Is it so hard to believe that she ’s lied to you, too? ”

Confusion swept across Riley ’s face.

Edward shifted a few inches to the side, and Riley automatically compensated with an adjustment of his
own.

“She doesn ’t love you, Riley. ” Edward’s soft voice was compelling, almost hypnotic. “She never has.
She loved someone named James, and you ’re no more than a tool to her. ”

When he said James ’s name, Victoria ’s lips pulled back in a teeth-baring grimace. Her eyes stayed
locked on me.

Riley cast a frantic glance in her direction.




“Riley? ” Edward said.

Riley automatically refocused on Edward.

“She knows that I will kill you, Riley. She wants you to die so that she doesn ’t have to keep up the
pretense anymore. Yes — you’ve seen that, haven ’t you? You ’ve read the reluctance in her eyes,
suspected a false note in her promises. You were right. She ’s never wanted you. Every kiss, every touch
was a lie. ”

Edward moved again, moved a few inches toward the boy, a few inches away from me.

Victoria ’s gaze zeroed in on the gap between us. It would take her less than a second to kill me — she
only needed the tiniest margin of opportunity.

Slower this time, Riley repositioned himself.

“You don ’t have to die, ” Edward promised, his eyes holding the boy ’s. “There are other ways to live
than the way she ’s shown you. It ’s not all lies and blood, Riley. You can walk away right now. You don ’
t have to die for her lies. ”

Edward slid his feet forward and to the side. There was a foot of space between us now. Riley circled
too far, overcompensating this time. Victoria leaned forward onto the balls of her feet.

“Last chance, Riley, ” Edward whispered.

Riley ’s face was desperate as he looked to Victoria for answers.

“He’s the liar, Riley, ” Victoria said, and my mouth fell open in shock at the sound of her voice. “I told
you about their mind tricks. You know I love only you. ”

Her voice was not the strong, wild, catlike growl I would have put with her face and stance. It was soft, it
was high — a babyish, soprano tinkling. The kind of voice that went with blond curls and pink bubble
gum. It made no sense coming through her bared, glistening teeth.

Riley ’s jaw tightened, and he squared his shoulders. His eyes emptied — there was no more confusion,
no more suspicion. There was no thought at all. He tensed himself to attack.

Victoria ’s body seemed to be trembling, she was so tightly wound. Her fingers were ready claws, waiting
for Edward to move just one more inch away from me.

The snarl came from none of them.

A mammoth tan shape flew through the center of the opening, throwing Riley to the ground.

“No!” Victoria cried, her baby voice shrill with disbelief.

A yard and a half in front of me, the huge wolf ripped and tore at the blond vampire beneath him.
Something white and hard smacked into the rocks by my feet. I cringed away from it.

Victoria did not spare one glance for the boy she ’d just pledged her love to. Her eyes were still on me,
filled with a disappointment so ferocious that she looked deranged.

“No,” she said again, through her teeth, as Edward started to move toward her, blocking her path to me.

Riley was on his feet again, looking misshapen and haggard, but he was able to fling a vicious kick into




Seth’s shoulder. I heard the bone crunch. Seth backed off and started to circle, limping. Riley had his
arms out, ready, though he seemed to be missing part of one hand. . . .

Only a few yards away from that fight, Edward and Victoria were dancing.

Not quite circling, because Edward was not allowing her to position herself closer to me. She sashayed
back, moving from side to side, trying to find a hole in his defense. He shadowed her footwork lithely,
stalking her with perfect concentration. He began to move just a fraction of a second before she moved,
reading her intentions in her thoughts.

Seth lunged at Riley from the side, and something tore with a hideous, grating screech. Another heavy
white chunk flew into the forest with a thud. Riley roared in fury, and Seth skipped back — amazingly
light on his feet for his size — as Riley took a swipe at him with one mangled hand.

Victoria was weaving through the tree trunks at the far end of the little opening now. She was torn, her
feet pulling her toward safety while her eyes yearned toward me as if I were a magnet, reeling her in. I
could see the burning desire to kill warring with her survival instinct.

Edward could see that, too.

“Don’t go, Victoria, ” he murmured in that same hypnotic tone as before. “You’ll never get another
chance like this. ”

She showed her teeth and hissed at him, but she seemed unable to move farther away from me.

“You can always run later, ” Edward purred. “Plenty of time for that. It ’s what you do, isn ’t it? It ’s why
James kept you around. Useful, if you like to play deadly games. A partner with an uncanny instinct for
escaping. He shouldn ’t have left you — he could have used your skills when we caught up to him in
Phoenix. ”

A snarl ripped from between her lips.

“That ’s all you ever were to him, though. Silly to waste so much energy avenging someone who had less
affection for you than a hunter for his mount. You were never more than a convenience to him. I would
know.”

Edward’s lips pulled up on one side as he tapped his temple.

With a strangled screech, Victoria darted out of the trees again, feinting to the side. Edward responded,
and the dance began again.

Just then, Riley ’s fist caught Seth ’s flank, and a low yelp coughed out of Seth ’s throat. Seth backed
away, his shoulders twitching as if he were trying to shake off the pain.

Please, I wanted to plead with Riley, but I couldn ’t find the muscles to make my mouth open, to pull the
air up from my lungs. Please, he’s just a child!

Why hadn ’t Seth run away? Why didn ’t he run now?

Riley was closing the distance between them again, driving Seth toward the cliff face beside me. Victoria
was suddenly interested in her partner ’s fate. I could see her, from the corner of her eyes, judge the
distance between Riley and me. Seth snapped at Riley, forcing him back again, and Victoria hissed.

Seth wasn ’t limping anymore. His circling took him within inches of Edward; his tail brushed Edward ’s




back, and Victoria ’s eyes bulged.

“No, he won ’t turn on me, ” Edward said, answering the question in Victoria ’s head. He used her
distraction to slide closer. “You provided us with a common enemy. You allied us. ”

She clenched her teeth, trying to keep her focus on Edward alone.

“Look more closely, Victoria, ” he murmured, pulling at the threads of her concentration. “Is he really so
much like the monster James tracked across Siberia? ”

Her eyes popped wide open, and then began flickering wildly from Edward to Seth to me, around and
around. “Not the same? ” she snarled in her little girl ’s soprano. “Impossible! ”

“Nothing is impossible, ” Edward murmured, voice velvet soft as he moved another inch closer to her. “
Except what you want. You ’ll never touch her. ”

She shook her head, fast and jerky, fighting his diversions, and tried to duck around him, but he was in
place to block her as soon as she ’d thought of the plan. Her face contorted in frustration, and then she
shifted lower into her crouch, a lioness again, and stalked deliberately forward.

Victoria was no inexperienced, instinct-driven newborn. She was lethal. Even I could tell the difference
between her and Riley, and I knew that Seth wouldn ’t have lasted so long if he ’d been fighting this
vampire.

Edward shifted, too, as they closed on each other, and it was lion versus lioness.

The dance increased in tempo.

It was like Alice and Jasper in the meadow, a blurred spiraling of movement, only this dance was not as
perfectly choreographed. Sharp crunches and crackings reverberated off the cliff face whenever
someone slipped in their formation. But they were moving too fast for me to see who was making the
mistakes. . . .

Riley was distracted by the violent ballet, his eyes anxious for his partner. Seth struck, crunching off
another small piece of the vampire. Riley bellowed and launched a massive backhanded blow that caught
Seth full in his broad chest. Seth ’s huge body soared ten feet and crashed into the rocky wall over my
head with a force that seemed to shake the whole peak. I heard the breath whoosh from his lungs, and I
ducked out of the way as he rebounded off the stone and collapsed on the ground a few feet in front of
me.

A low whimper escaped through Seth ’s teeth.

Sharp fragments of gray stone showered down on my head, scratching my exposed skin. A jagged spike
of rock rolled down my right arm and I caught it reflexively. My fingers clenched around the long shard
as my own survival instincts kicked in; since there was no chance of flight, my body — not caring how
ineffectual the gesture was — prepared for a fight.

Adrenaline jolted through my veins. I knew the brace was cutting into my palm. I knew the crack in my
knuckle was protesting. I knew it, but I could not feel the pain.

Behind Riley, all I could see was the twisting flame of Victoria ’s hair and a blur of white. The increasingly
frequent metallic snaps and tears, the gasps and shocked hissings, made it clear that the dance was
turning deadly for someone.




But which someone?

Riley lurched toward me, his red eyes brilliant with fury. He glared at the limp mountain of sand-colored
fur between us, and his hands — mangled, broken hands — curled into talons. His mouth opened,
widened, his teeth glistening, as he prepared to rip out Seth ’s throat.

A second kick of adrenaline hit like an electric shock, and everything was suddenly very clear.

Both fights were too close. Seth was about to lose his, and I had no idea if Edward was winning or
losing. They needed help. A distraction. Something to give them an edge.

My hand gripped the stone spike so tightly that a support in the brace snapped.

Was I strong enough? Was I brave enough? How hard could I shove the rough stone into my body?
Would this buy Seth enough time to get back on his feet? Would he heal fast enough for my sacrifice to
do him any good?

I raked the point of the shard up my arm, yanking my thick sweater back to expose the skin, and then
pressed the sharp tip to the crease at my elbow. I already had a long scar there from my last birthday.
That night, my flowing blood had been enough to catch every vampire ’s attention, to freeze them all in
place for an instant. I prayed it would work that way again. I steeled myself and sucked in one deep
breath.

Victoria was distracted by the sound of my gasp. Her eyes, holding still for one tiny portion of a second,
met mine. Fury and curiosity mingled strangely in her expression.

I wasn ’t sure how I heard the low sound with all the other noises echoing off the stone wall and
hammering inside my head. My own heartbeat should have been enough to drown it out. But, in the split
second that I stared into Victoria ’s eyes, I thought I heard a familiar, exasperated sigh.

In that same short second, the dance broke violently apart. It happened so quickly that it was over
before I could follow the sequence of events. I tried to catch up in my head.

Victoria had flown out of the blurred formation and smashed into a tall spruce about halfway up the tree.
She dropped back to the earth already crouched to spring.

Simultaneously, Edward — all but invisible with speed — had twisted backward and caught the
unsuspecting Riley by the arm. It had looked like Edward planted his foot against Riley ’s back, and
heaved —

The little campsite was filled with Riley ’s piercing shriek of agony.

At the same time, Seth leaped to his feet, cutting off most of my view.

But I could still see Victoria. And, though she looked oddly deformed — as if she were unable to
straighten up completely — I could see the smile I ’d been dreaming of flash across her wild face.

She coiled and sprang.

Something small and white whistled through the air and collided with her mid-flight. The impact sounded
like an explosion, and it threw her against another tree — this one snapped in half. She landed on her feet
again, crouched and ready, but Edward was already in place. Relief swelled in my heart when I saw that
he stood straight and perfect.




Victoria kicked something aside with a flick of her bare foot — the missile that had crippled her attack. It
rolled toward me, and I realized what it was.

My stomach lurched.

The fingers were still twitching; grasping at blades of grass, Riley ’s arm began to drag itself mindlessly
across the ground.

Seth was circling Riley again, and now Riley was retreating. He backed away from the advancing
werewolf, his face rigid with pain. He raised his one arm defensively.

Seth rushed Riley, and the vampire was clearly off-balance. I saw Seth sink his teeth into Riley ’s shoulder
and tear, jumping back again.

With an earsplitting metallic screech, Riley lost his other arm.

Seth shook his head, flinging the arm into the woods. The broken hissing noise that came through Seth ’s
teeth sounded like snickering.

Riley screamed out a tortured plea. “Victoria! ”

Victoria did not even flinch to the sound of her name. Her eyes did not flicker once toward her partner.

Seth launched himself forward with the force of a wrecking ball. The thrust carried both Seth and Riley
into the trees, where the metallic screeching was matched by Riley ’s screams. Screams that abruptly cut
off, while the sounds of rock being ripped to shreds continued.

Though she spared Riley no farewell glance, Victoria seemed to realize that she was on her own. She
began to back away from Edward, frenzied disappointment blazing in her eyes. She threw me one short,
agonized stare of longing, and then she started to retreat faster.

“No,” Edward crooned, his voice seductive. “Stay just a little longer. ”

She wheeled and flew toward the refuge of the forest like an arrow from a bow.

But Edward was faster — a bullet from a gun.

He caught her unprotected back at the edge of the trees and, with one last, simple step, the dance was
over.

Edward’s mouth brushed once across her neck, like a caress. The squealing clamor coming from Seth ’s
efforts covered every other noise, so there was no discernible sound to make the image one of violence.
He could have been kissing her.

And then the fiery tangle of hair was no longer connected to the rest of her body. The shivering orange
waves fell to the ground, and bounced once before rolling toward the trees.



25. MIRROR

I FORCED MY EYES — FROZEN WIDE OPEN WITH SHOCK — to move, so that I could not
examine too closely the oval object wrapped in tendrils of shivering, fiery hair.




Edward was in motion again. Swift and coolly businesslike, he dismembered the headless corpse.

I could not go to him — I could not make my feet respond; they were bolted to the stone beneath them.
But I scrutinized his every action minutely, looking for any evidence that he had been harmed. My heart
slowed to a healthier rhythm when I found nothing. He was lithe and graceful as ever. I couldn ’t even see
a tear in his clothes.

He did not look at me — where I stood frozen to the cliff wall, horrified — while he piled the quivering,
twitching limbs and then covered them with dry pine needles. He still did not meet my shocked gaze as he
darted into the forest after Seth.

I didn ’t have time to recover before both he and Seth were back, Edward with his arms full of Riley.
Seth was carrying a large chunk — the torso — in his mouth. They added their burden to the pile, and
Edward pulled a silver rectangle from his pocket. He flipped open the butane lighter and held the flame to
the dry tinder. It caught at once; long tongues of orange fire licked rapidly across the pyre.

“Get every piece, ” Edward said in a low aside to Seth.

Together, the vampire and the werewolf scoured the campsite, occasionally tossing small lumps of white
stone into the blaze. Seth handled the pieces with his teeth. My brain wasn ’t working well enough for me
to understand why he didn ’t change back to a form with hands.

Edward kept his eyes on his work.

And then they were done, and the raging fire was sending a pillar of choking purple toward the sky. The
thick smoke curled up slowly, looking more solid than it should; it smelled like burning incense, and the
scent was uncomfortable. It was heavy, too strong.

Seth made that snickering sound again, deep in his chest.

A smile flickered across Edward ’s tense face.

Edward stretched out his arm, his hand curled into a fist. Seth grinned, revealing the long row of dagger
teeth, and bumped his nose against Edward ’s hand.

“Nice teamwork, ” Edward murmured.

Seth coughed a laugh.

Then Edward took a deep breath, and turned slowly to face me.

I did not understand his expression. His eyes were as wary as if I were another enemy — more than
wary, they were afraid. Yet he ’d shown no fear at all when he ’d faced Victoria and Riley. . . . My mind
was stuck, stunned and useless as my body. I stared at him, bewildered.

“Bella, love, ” he said in his softest tone, walking toward me with exaggerated slowness, his hands held
up, palms forward. Dazed as I was, it reminded me oddly of a suspect approaching a policeman,
showing that he wasn ’t armed. . . .

“Bella, can you drop the rock, please? Carefully. Don ’t hurt yourself. ”

I’d forgotten all about my crude weapon, though I realized now that I was grasping it so hard that my
knuckle was screaming in protest. Was it rebroken? Carlisle would put me in a cast for sure this time.

Edward hesitated a few feet from me, his hands still in the air, his eyes still fearful.




It took me a few long seconds to remember how to move my fingers. Then the rock clattered to the
ground, while my hand stayed frozen in the same position.

Edward relaxed slightly when my hands were empty, but came no closer.

“You don ’t have to be afraid, Bella, ” Edward murmured. “You’re safe. I won ’t hurt you. ”

The mystifying promise only confused me further. I stared at him like an imbecile, trying to understand.

“It’s going to be all right, Bella. I know you ’re frightened now, but it ’s over. No one is going to hurt you.
I won’t touch you. I won ’t hurt you, ” he said again.

My eyes blinked furiously, and I found my voice. “Why do you keep saying that? ”

I took an unsteady step toward him, and he leaned away from my advance.

“What’s wrong? ” I whispered. “What do you mean? ”

“Are you . . . ” His golden eyes were suddenly as confused as I felt. “Aren’t you afraid of me? ”

“Afraid of you? Why?”

I staggered forward another step, and then tripped over something — my own feet probably. Edward
caught me, and I buried my face in his chest and started to sob.

“Bella, Bella, I ’m so sorry. It ’s over, it ’s over.”

“I’m fine, ” I gasped. “I’m okay. I ’m just. Freaking out. Give me. A minute. ”

His arms tightened around me. “I’m so sorry, ” he murmured again and again.

I clung to him until I could breathe, and then I was kissing him — his chest, his shoulder, his neck —
every part of him that I could reach. Slowly, my brain started to work again.

“Are you okay? ” I demanded between kisses. “Did she hurt you at all? ”

“I am absolutely fine, ” he promised, burying his face in my hair.

“Seth?”

Edward chuckled. “More than fine. Very pleased with himself, in fact. ”

“The others? Alice, Esme? The wolves?

“All fine. It ’s over there, too. It went just as smoothly as I promised. We got the worst of it here. ”

I let myself absorb that for a moment, let it sink in and settle in my head.

My family and my friends were safe. Victoria was never coming after me again. It was over.

We were all going to be fine.

But I couldn ’t completely take in the good news while I was still so confused.

“Tell me why, ” I insisted. “Why did you think I would be afraid of you? ”

“I’m sorry, ” he said, apologizing yet again — for what? I had no idea. “So sorry. I didn ’t want you to see




that. See me like that. I know I must have terrified you. ”

I had to think about that for another minute, about the hesitant way he ’d approached me, his hands in the
air. Like I was going to run if he moved too fast. . . .

“Seriously? ” I finally asked. “You . . . what? Thought you ’d scared me off? ” I snorted. Snorting was
good; a voice couldn ’t tremble or break during a snort. It sounded impressively offhand.

He put his hand under my chin and tilted my head back to read my face.

“Bella, I just ” — he hesitated and then forced the words out — “I just beheaded and dismembered a
sentient creature not twenty yards from you. That doesn ’t bother you? ”

He frowned at me.

I shrugged. Shrugging was good, too. Very blasé. “Not really. I was only afraid that you and Seth were
going to get hurt. I wanted to help, but there ’s only so much I can do. . . . ”

His suddenly livid expression made my voice fade out.

“Yes,” he said, his tone clipped. “Your little stunt with the rock. You know that you nearly gave me a
heart attack? Not the easiest thing to do, that. ”

His furious glower made it hard to answer.

“I wanted to help . . . Seth was hurt. . . . ”

“Seth was only feigning that he was hurt, Bella. It was a trick. And then you . . . ! ” He shook his head,
unable to finish. “Seth couldn ’t see what you were doing, so I had to step in. Seth ’s a bit disgruntled that
he can ’t claim a single-handed defeat now. ”

“Seth was . . . faking? ”

Edward nodded sternly.

“Oh.”

We both looked at Seth, who was studiously ignoring us, watching the flames. Smugness radiated from
every hair in his fur.

“Well, I didn ’t know that, ” I said, on the offense now. “And it ’s not easy being the only helpless person
around. Just you wait till I ’m a vampire! I ’m not going to be sitting on the sidelines next time. ”

A dozen emotions flitted across his face before he settled on being amused. “Next time? Did you
anticipate another war soon? ”

“With my luck? Who knows? ”

He rolled his eyes, but I could see that he was flying — the relief was making us both lightheaded. It was
over.

Or . . . was it?

“Hold on. Didn ’t you say something before — ?” I flinched, remembering what exactly it had been
before — what was I going to say to Jacob? My splintered heart throbbed out a painful, aching beat. It




was hard to believe, almost impossible, but the hardest part of this day was not behind me — and then I
soldiered on. “About a complication? And Alice, needing to nail down the schedule for Sam. You said it
was going to be close. What was going to be close? ”

Edward’s eyes flickered back to Seth, and they exchanged a loaded glance.

“Well? ” I asked.

“It’s nothing, really, ” Edward said quickly. “But we do need to be on our way. . . . ”

He started to pull me into place on his back, but I stiffened and drew away.

“Define nothing. ”

Edward took my face between his palms. “We only have a minute, so don ’t panic, all right? I told you
that you had no reason to be afraid. Trust me on that, please? ”

I nodded, trying to hide the sudden terror — how much more could I handle before I collapsed? “No
reason to be afraid. Got it. ”

He pursed his lips for a second, deciding what to say. And then he glanced abruptly at Seth, as if the wolf
had called him.

“What’s she doing? ” Edward asked.

Seth whined; it was an anxious, uneasy sound. It made the hair on the back of my neck rise.

Everything was dead silent for one endless second.

And then Edward gasped, “No!” and one of his hands flew out as if to grab something that I couldn ’t
see. “Don’t —!”

A spasm rocked through Seth ’s body, and a howl, blistering with agony, ripped from his lungs.

Edward fell to his knees at the exact same moment, gripping the sides of his head with two hands, his
face furrowed in pain.

I screamed once in bewildered terror, and dropped to my knees beside him. Stupidly, I tried to pull his
hands from his face; my palms, clammy with sweat, slid off his marble skin.

“Edward! Edward! ”

His eyes focused on me; with obvious effort, he pulled his clenched teeth apart.

“It’s okay. We’re going to be fine. It ’s —” He broke off, and winced again.

“What’s happening? ” I cried out while Seth howled in anguish.

“We’re fine. We ’re going to be okay, ” Edward gasped. “Sam — help him —”

And I realized in that instant, when he said Sam ’s name, that he was not speaking of himself and Seth.
No unseen force was attacking them. This time, the crisis was not here.

He was using the pack plural.

I’d burned through all my adrenaline. My body had nothing left. I sagged, and Edward caught me before




I could hit the rocks. He sprang to his feet, me in his arms.

“Seth!” Edward shouted.

Seth was crouched, still tensed in agony, looking as if he meant to launch himself into the forest.

“No!” Edward ordered. “You go straight home. Now. As fast as you can! ”

Seth whimpered, shaking his great head from side to side.

“Seth. Trust me. ”

The huge wolf stared into Edward ’s agonized eyes for one long second, and then he straightened up and
flew into the trees, disappearing like a ghost.

Edward cradled me tightly against his chest, and then we were also hurtling through the shadowy forest,
taking a different path than the wolf.

“Edward.” I fought to force the words through my constricted throat. “What happened, Edward? What
happened to Sam? Where are we going? What ’s happening? ”

“We have to go back to the clearing, ” he told me in a low voice. “We knew there was a good probability
of this happening. Earlier this morning, Alice saw it and passed it through Sam to Seth. The Volturi
decided it was time to intercede. ”

The Volturi.

Too much. My mind refused to make sense of the words, pretended it couldn ’t understand.

The trees jolted past us. He was running downhill so fast that it felt as if we were plummeting, falling out
of control.

“Don’t panic. They aren ’t coming for us. It ’s just the normal contingent of the guard that usually cleans up
this kind of mess. Nothing momentous, they ’re merely doing their job. Of course, they seem to have
timed their arrival very carefully. Which leads me to believe that no one in Italy would mourn if these
newborns had reduced the size of the Cullen family. ” The words came through his teeth, hard and bleak.
“I’ll know for sure what they were thinking when they get to the clearing. ”

“Is that why we ’re going back? ” I whispered. Could I handle this? Images of flowing black robes crept
into my unwilling mind, and I flinched away from them. I was close to a breaking point.

“It’s part of the reason. Mostly, it will be safer for us to present a united front at this point. They have no
reason to harass us, but . . . Jane ’s with them. If she thought we were alone somewhere away from the
others, it might tempt her. Like Victoria, Jane will probably guess that I ’m with you. Demetri, of course,
is with her. He could find me, if Jane asked him to. ”

I didn ’t want to think that name. I didn ’t want to see that blindingly exquisite, childlike face in my head. A
strange sound came out of my throat.

“Shh, Bella, shh. It ’s all going to be fine. Alice can see that. ”

Alice could see? But . . . then where were the wolves? Where was the pack?

“The pack? ”




“They had to leave quickly. The Volturi do not honor truces with werewolves. ”

I could hear my breathing get faster, but I couldn ’t control it. I started to gasp.

“I swear they will be fine, ” Edward promised me. “The Volturi won ’t recognize the scent — they won ’t
realize the wolves are here; this isn ’t a species they are familiar with. The pack will be fine. ”

I couldn ’t process his explanation. My concentration was ripped to shreds by my fears. We’re going to
be fine, he had said before . . . and Seth, howling in agony . . . Edward had avoided my first question,
distracted me with the Volturi. . . .

I was very close to the edge — just clinging by my fingertips.

The trees were a racing blur that flowed around him like jade waters.

“What happened? ” I whispered again. “Before. When Seth was howling? When you were hurt? ”

Edward hesitated.

“Edward! Tell me! ”

“It was all over, ” he whispered. I could barely hear him over the wind his speed created. “The wolves
didn ’t count their half . . . they thought they had them all. Of course, Alice couldn ’t see. . . .”

“What happened?! ”

“One of the newborns was hiding. . . . Leah found him — she was being stupid, cocky, trying to prove
something. She engaged him alone. . . . ”

“Leah,” I repeated, and I was too weak to feel shame for the relief that flooded through me. “Is she going
to be okay?”

“Leah wasn ’t hurt, ” Edward mumbled.

I stared at him for a long second.

Sam — help him — Edward had gasped. Him, not her.

“We’re almost there, ” Edward said, and he stared at a fixed point in the sky.

Automatically, my eyes followed his. There was a dark purple cloud hanging low over the trees. A
cloud? But it was so abnormally sunny. . . . No, not a cloud — I recognized the thick column of smoke,
just like the one at our campsite.

“Edward,” I said, my voice nearly inaudible. “Edward, someone got hurt. ”

I’d heard Seth ’s agony, seen the torture in Edward ’s face.

“Yes,” he whispered.

“Who?” I asked, though, of course, I already knew the answer.

Of course I did. Of course.

The trees were slowing around us as we came to our destination.




It took him a long moment to answer me.

“Jacob,” he said.

I was able to nod once.

“Of course, ” I whispered.

And then I slipped off the edge I was clinging to inside my head.

Everything went black.

I was first aware of the cool hands touching me. More than one pair of hands. Arms holding me, a palm
curved to fit my cheek, fingers stroking my forehead, and more fingers pressed lightly into my wrist.

Then I was aware of the voices. They were just a humming at first, and then they grew in volume and
clarity like someone was turning up a radio.

“Carlisle — it’s been five minutes. ” Edward’s voice, anxious.

“She’ll come around when she ’s ready, Edward. ” Carlisle ’s voice, always calm and sure. “She’s had too
much to deal with today. Let her mind protect itself. ”

But my mind was not protected. It was trapped in the knowledge that had not left me, even in
unconsciousness — the pain that was part of the blackness.

I felt totally disconnected from my body. Like I was caged in some small corner of my head, no longer at
the controls. But I couldn ’t do anything about it. I couldn ’t think. The agony was too strong for that.
There was no escape from it.

Jacob.

Jacob.

No, no, no, no, no . . .

“Alice, how long do we have? ” Edward demanded, his voice still tense; Carlisle ’s soothing words had
not helped.

From farther away, Alice ’s voice. It was brightly chipper. “Another five minutes. And Bella will open her
eyes in thirty-seven seconds. I wouldn ’t doubt that she can hear us now. ”

“Bella, honey? ” This was Esme ’s soft, comforting voice. “Can you hear me? You ’re safe now, dear. ”

Yes, I was safe. Did that really matter?

Then cool lips were at my ear, and Edward was speaking the words that allowed me to escape from the
torture that had me caged inside my own head.

“He’s going to live, Bella. Jacob Black is healing as I speak. He ’ll be fine. ”

As the pain and dread eased, I found my way back to my body. My eyelids fluttered.

“Oh, Bella, ” Edward sighed in relief, and his lips touched mine.

“Edward,” I whispered.




“Yes, I’m here. ”

I got my lids to open, and I stared into warm gold.

“Jacob is okay? ” I asked.

“Yes,” he promised.

I watched his eyes carefully for some sign that he was placating me, but they were perfectly clear.

“I examined him myself, ” Carlisle said then; I turned my head to find his face, only a few feet away.
Carlisle ’s expression was serious and reassuring at the same time. It was impossible to doubt him. “His
life is not in any danger. He was healing at an incredible rate, though his injuries were extensive enough
that it will still be a few days before he is back to normal, even if the rate of repair holds steady. As soon
as we’re done here, I will do what I can to help him. Sam is trying to get him to phase back to his human
form. That will make treating him easier. ” Carlisle smiled slightly. “I’ve never been to veterinarian school. ”

“What happened to him? ” I whispered. “How bad are his injuries? ”

Carlisle ’s face was serious again. “Another wolf was in trouble —”

“Leah,” I breathed.

“Yes. He knocked her out of the way, but he didn ’t have time to defend himself. The newborn got his
arms around him. Most of the bones on the right half of his body were shattered. ”

I flinched.

“Sam and Paul got there in time. He was already improving when they took him back to La Push. ”

“He’ll be back to normal? ” I asked.

“Yes, Bella. He won ’t have any permanent damage. ”

I took a deep breath.

“Three minutes, ” Alice said quietly.

I struggled, trying to get vertical. Edward realized what I was doing and helped me to my feet.

I stared at the scene in front of me.

The Cullens stood in a loose semicircle around the bonfire. There were hardly any flames visible, just the
thick, purple-black smoke, hovering like a disease against the bright grass. Jasper stood closest to the
solid-seeming haze, in its shadow so that his skin did not glitter brilliantly in the sun the way the others
did. He had his back to me, his shoulders tense, his arms slightly extended. There was something there, in
his shadow. Something he crouched over with wary intensity. . . .

I was too numb to feel more than a mild shock when I realized what it was.

There were eight vampires in the clearing.

The girl was curled into a small ball beside the flames, her arms wrapped around her legs. She was very
young. Younger than me — she looked maybe fifteen, dark-haired and slight. Her eyes were focused on
me, and the irises were a shocking, brilliant red. Much brighter than Riley ’s, almost glowing. They




wheeled wildly, out of control.

Edward saw my bewildered expression.

“She surrendered, ” he told me quietly. “That ’s one I’ve never seen before. Only Carlisle would think of
offering. Jasper doesn ’t approve.”

I couldn ’t tear my gaze away from the scene beside the fire. Jasper was rubbing absently at his left
forearm.

“Is Jasper all right? ” I whispered.

“He’s fine. The venom stings. ”

“He was bitten? ” I asked, horrified.

“He was trying to be everywhere at once. Trying to make sure Alice had nothing to do, actually. ”
Edward shook his head. “Alice doesn ’t need anyone ’s help. ”

Alice grimaced toward her true love. “Overprotective fool. ”


The young female suddenly threw her head back like an animal and wailed shrilly.

Jasper growled at her and she cringed back, but her fingers dug into the ground like claws and her head
whipped back and forth in anguish. Jasper took a step toward her, slipping deeper into his crouch.
Edward moved with overdone casualness, turning our bodies so that he was between the girl and me. I
peeked around his arm to watch the thrashing girl and Jasper.

Carlisle was at Jasper ’s side in an instant. He put a restraining hand on his most recent son ’s arm.

“Have you changed your mind, young one? ” Carlisle asked, calm as ever. “We don’t want to destroy
you, but we will if you can ’t control yourself. ”

“How can you stand it? ” the girl groaned in a high, clear voice. “I want her.” Her bright crimson irises
focused on Edward, through him, beyond him to me, and her nails ripped through the hard soil again.

“You must stand it, ” Carlisle told her gravely. “You must exercise control. It is possible, and it is the only
thing that will save you now. ”

The girl clutched her dirt-encrusted hands around her head, yowling quietly.

“Shouldn ’t we move away from her? ” I whispered, tugging on Edward ’s arm. The girl ’s lips pulled back
over her teeth when she heard my voice, her expression one of torment.

“We have to stay here, ” Edward murmured. “They are coming to the north end of the clearing now. ”

My heart burst into a sprint as I scanned the clearing, but I couldn ’t see anything past the thick pall of
smoke.

After a second of fruitless searching, my gaze crept back to the young female vampire. She was still
watching me, her eyes half-mad.

I met the girl ’s stare for a long moment. Chin-length dark hair framed her face, which was alabaster pale.
It was hard to tell if her features were beautiful, twisted as they were by rage and thirst. The feral red
eyes were dominant — hard to look away from. She glared at me viciously, shuddering and writhing




every few seconds.

I stared at her, mesmerized, wondering if I were looking into a mirror of my future.

Then Carlisle and Jasper began to back toward the rest of us. Emmett, Rosalie, and Esme all converged
hastily around where Edward stood with Alice and me. A united front, as Edward had said, with me at
the heart, in the safest place.

I tore my attention away from the wild girl to search for the approaching monsters.

There was still nothing to see. I glanced at Edward, and his eyes were locked straight ahead. I tried to
follow his gaze, but there was only the smoke — dense, oily smoke twisting low to the ground, rising
lazily, undulating against the grass.

It billowed forward, darker in the middle.

“Hmm, ” a dead voice murmured from the mist. I recognized the apathy at once.

“Welcome, Jane. ” Edward’s tone was coolly courteous.

The dark shapes came closer, separating themselves from the haze, solidifying. I knew it would be Jane
in the front — the darkest cloak, almost black, and the smallest figure by more than two feet. I could just
barely make out Jane ’s angelic features in the shade of the cowl.

The four gray-shrouded figures hulking behind her were also somewhat familiar. I was sure I recognized
the biggest one, and while I stared, trying to confirm my suspicion, Felix looked up. He let his hood fall
back slightly so that I could see him wink at me and smile. Edward was very still at my side, tightly in
control.

Jane’s gaze moved slowly across the luminous faces of the Cullens and then touched on the newborn girl
beside the fire; the newborn had her head in her hands again.

“I don’t understand. ” Jane’s voice was toneless, but not quite as uninterested as before.

“She has surrendered, ” Edward explained, answering the confusion in her mind.

Jane’s dark eyes flashed to his face. “Surrendered? ”

Felix and another shadow exchanged a quick glance.

Edward shrugged. “Carlisle gave her the option. ”

“There are no options for those who break the rules, ” Jane said flatly.

Carlisle spoke then, his voice mild. “That ’s in your hands. As long as she was willing to halt her attack on

us, I saw no need to destroy her. She was never taught. ”

“That is irrelevant, ” Jane insisted.

“As you wish. ”

Jane stared at Carlisle in consternation. She shook her head infinitesimally, and then composed her
features.

“Aro hoped that we would get far enough west to see you, Carlisle. He sends his regards. ”




Carlisle nodded. “I would appreciate it if you would convey mine to him. ”

“Of course. ” Jane smiled. Her face was almost too lovely when it was animated. She looked back
toward the smoke. “It appears that you ’ve done our work for us today . . . for the most part. ” Her eyes
flickered to the hostage. “Just out of professional curiosity, how many were there? They left quite a wake
of destruction in Seattle. ”

“Eighteen, including this one, ” Carlisle answered.

Jane’s eyes widened, and she looked at the fire again, seeming to reassess the size of it. Felix and the
other shadow exchanged a longer glance.

“Eighteen? ” she repeated, her voice sounding unsure for the first time.

“All brand-new, ” Carlisle said dismissively. “They were unskilled. ”

“All? ” Her voice turned sharp. “Then who was their creator? ”

“Her name was Victoria, ” Edward answered, no emotion in his voice.

“Was?” Jane asked.

Edward inclined his head toward the eastern forest. Jane ’s eyes snapped up and focused on something
far in the distance. The other pillar of smoke? I didn ’t look away to check.

Jane stared to the east for a long moment, and then examined the closer bonfire again.

“This Victoria — she was in addition to the eighteen here? ”

“Yes. She had only one other with her. He was not as young as this one here, but no older than a year. ”

“Twenty, ” Jane breathed. “Who dealt with the creator? ”

“I did,” Edward told her.

Jane’s eyes narrowed, and she turned to the girl beside the fire.

“You there, ” she said, her dead voice harsher than before. “Your name. ”

The newborn shot a baleful glare at Jane, her lips pressed tightly together.

Jane smiled back angelically.

The newborn girl ’s answering scream was ear-piercing; her body arched stiffly into a distorted, unnatural
position. I looked away, fighting the urge to cover my ears. I gritted my teeth, hoping to control my
stomach. The screaming intensified. I tried to concentrate on Edward ’s face, smooth and unemotional,
but that made me remember when it had been Edward under Jane ’s torturing gaze, and I felt sicker. I
looked at Alice instead, and Esme next to her. Their faces were as empty as his.

Finally, it was quiet.

“Your name, ” Jane said again, her voice inflectionless.

“Bree,” the girl gasped.

Jane smiled, and the girl shrieked again. I held my breath until the sound of her agony stopped.




“She’ll tell you anything you want to know, ” Edward said through his teeth. “You don ’t have to do that. ”

Jane looked up, sudden humor in her usually dead eyes. “Oh, I know, ” she said to Edward, grinning at
him before she turned back to the young vampire, Bree.

“Bree,” Jane said, her voice cold again. “Is his story true? Were there twenty of you? ”

The girl lay panting, the side of her face pressed against the earth. She spoke quickly. “Nineteen or
twenty, maybe more, I don ’t know! ” She cringed, terrified that her ignorance might bring on another
round of torture. “Sara and the one whose name I don ’t know got in a fight on the way. . . . ”

“And this Victoria — did she create you? ”

“I don’t know,” she said, flinching again. “Riley never said her name. I didn ’t see that night . . . it was so
dark, and it hurt. . . . ” Bree shuddered. “He didn ’t want us to be able to think of her. He said that our
thoughts weren ’t safe. . . . ”

Jane’s eyes flickered to Edward, and then back to the girl.

Victoria had planned this well. If she hadn ’t followed Edward, there would have been no way to know
for certain that she was involved. . . .

“Tell me about Riley, ” Jane said. “Why did he bring you here? ”

“Riley told us that we had to destroy the strange yellow-eyes here, ” Bree babbled quickly and willingly. “
He said it would be easy. He said that the city was theirs, and they were coming to get us. He said once
they were gone, all the blood would be ours. He gave us her scent. ” Bree lifted one hand and stabbed a
finger in my direction. “He said we would know that we had the right coven, because she would be with
them. He said whoever got to her first could have her. ”

I heard Edward ’s jaw flex beside me.

“It looks like Riley was wrong about the easy part, ” Jane noted.

Bree nodded, seeming relieved that the conversation had taken this non-painful course. She sat up
carefully. “I don’t know what happened. We split up, but the others never came. And Riley left us, and
he didn ’t come to help like he promised. And then it was so confusing, and everybody was in pieces. ”
She shuddered again. “I was afraid. I wanted to run away. That one ” — she looked at Carlisle — “said
they wouldn ’t hurt me if I stopped fighting. ”

“Ah, but that wasn ’t his gift to offer, young one, ” Jane murmured, her voice oddly gentle now. “Broken
rules demand a consequence. ”

Bree stared at her, not comprehending.

Jane looked at Carlisle. “Are you sure you got all of them? The other half that split off? ”

Carlisle ’s face was very smooth as he nodded. “We split up, too. ”

Jane half-smiled. “I can’t deny that I ’m impressed. ” The big shadows behind her murmured in
agreement. “I’ve never seen a coven escape this magnitude of offensive intact. Do you know what was
behind it? It seems like extreme behavior, considering the way you live here. And why was the girl the
key?” Her eyes rested unwilling on me for one short second.

I shivered.




“Victoria held a grudge against Bella, ” Edward told her, his voice impassive.

Jane laughed — the sound was golden, the bubbling laugh of a happy child. “This one seems to bring out
bizarrely strong reactions in our kind, ” she observed, smiling directly at me, her face beatific.

Edward stiffened. I looked at him in time to see his face turning away, back to Jane.

“Would you please not do that? ” he asked in a tight voice.

Jane laughed again lightly. “Just checking. No harm done, apparently. ”

I shivered, deeply grateful that the strange glitch in my system — which had protected me from Jane the
last time we ’d met — was still in effect. Edward ’s arm tightened around me.

“Well, it appears that there ’s not much left for us to do. Odd, ” Jane said, apathy creeping back into her
voice. “We’re not used to being rendered unnecessary. It ’s too bad we missed the fight. It sounds like it
would have been entertaining to watch. ”

“Yes,” Edward answered her quickly, his voice sharp. “And you were so close. It ’s a shame you didn ’t
arrive just a half hour earlier. Perhaps then you could have fulfilled your purpose here. ”

Jane met Edward ’s glare with unwavering eyes. “Yes. Quite a pity how things turned out, isn ’t it? ”

Edward nodded once to himself, his suspicions confirmed.

Jane turned to look at the newborn Bree again, her face completely bored. “Felix? ” she drawled.

“Wait, ” Edward interjected.

Jane raised one eyebrow, but Edward was staring at Carlisle while he spoke in an urgent voice. “We
could explain the rules to the young one. She doesn ’t seem unwilling to learn. She didn ’t know what she
was doing. ”

“Of course, ” Carlisle answered. “We would certainly be prepared to take responsibility for Bree. ”

Jane’s expression was torn between amusement and disbelief.

“We don’t make exceptions, ” she said. “And we don ’t give second chances. It ’s bad for our reputation.
Which reminds me . . . ” Suddenly, her eyes were on me again, and her cherubic face dimpled. “Caius will
be so interested to hear that you ’re still human, Bella. Perhaps he ’ll decide to visit. ”

“The date is set, ” Alice told Jane, speaking for the first time. “Perhaps we ’ll come to visit you in a few
months. ”

Jane’s smile faded, and she shrugged indifferently, never looking at Alice. She turned to face Carlisle. “It
was nice to meet you, Carlisle — I’d thought Aro was exaggerating. Well, until we meet again . . . ”

Carlisle nodded, his expression pained.

“Take care of that, Felix, ” Jane said, nodding toward Bree, her voice dripping boredom. “I want to go
home. ”

“Don’t watch, ” Edward whispered in my ear.

I was only too eager to follow his instruction. I ’d seen more than enough for one day — more than




enough for one lifetime. I squeezed my eyes tightly together and turned my face into Edward ’s chest.

But I could still hear.

There was a deep, rumbling growl, and then a high-pitched keen that was horribly familiar. That sound
cut off quickly, and then the only sound was a sickening crunching and snapping.

Edward’s hand rubbed anxiously against my shoulders.

“Come,” Jane said, and I looked up in time to see the backs of the tall gray cloaks drifting away toward
the curling smoke. The incense smell was strong again — fresh.

The gray cloaks disappeared into the thick mist.



26. ETHICS

THE COUNTER IN ALICE ’S BATHROOM WAS COVERED WITH a thousand different products,
all claiming to beautify a person ’s surface. Since everyone in this house was both perfect and
impermeable, I could only assume that she ’d bought most of these things with me in mind. I read the
labels numbly, struck by the waste.

I was careful never to look in the long mirror.

Alice combed through my hair with a slow, rhythmic motion.

“That ’s enough, Alice, ” I said tonelessly. “I want to go back to La Push. ”

How many hours had I waited for Charlie to finally leave Billy ’s house so that I could see Jacob? Each
minute, not knowing if Jacob was still breathing or not, had seemed like ten lifetimes. And then, when at
last I ’d been allowed to go, to see for myself that Jacob was alive, the time had gone so quickly. I felt
like I ’d barely caught my breath before Alice was calling Edward, insisting that I keep up this ridiculous
sleepover façade. It seemed so insignificant. . . .

“Jacob’s still unconscious, ” Alice answered. “Carlisle or Edward will call when he ’s awake. Anyway,
you need to go see Charlie. He was there at Billy ’s house, he saw that Carlisle and Edward are back in
from their trip, and he ’s bound to be suspicious when you get home. ”

I already had my story memorized and corroborated. “I don’t care. I want to be there when Jacob
wakes up.”

“You need to think of Charlie now. You ’ve had a long day — sorry, I know that doesn ’t begin to cover
it — but that doesn ’t mean that you can shirk your responsibilities. ” Her voice was serious, almost
chiding. “It’s more important now than ever that Charlie stays safely in the dark. Play your role first,
Bella, and then you can do what you want second. Part of being a Cullen is being meticulously
responsible. ”

Of course she was right. And if not for this same reason — a reason that was more powerful than all my
fear and pain and guilt — Carlisle would never have been able to talk me into leaving Jacob ’s side,
unconscious or not.

“Go home, ” Alice ordered. “Talk to Charlie. Flesh out your alibi. Keep him safe. ”




I stood, and the blood flowed down to my feet, stinging like the pricks of a thousand needles. I ’d been
sitting still for a long time.

“That dress is adorable on you, ” Alice cooed.

“Huh? Oh. Er — thanks again for the clothes, ” I mumbled out of courtesy rather than real gratitude.

“You need the evidence, ” Alice said, her eyes innocent and wide. “What’s a shopping trip without a new
outfit? It ’s very flattering, if I do say so myself. ”

I blinked, unable to remember what she ’d dressed me in. I couldn ’t keep my thoughts from skittering
away every few seconds, insects running from the light. . . .

“Jacob is fine, Bella, ” Alice said, easily interpreting my preoccupation. “There ’s no hurry. If you realized
how much extra morphine Carlisle had to give him — what with his temperature burning it off so quickly
— you would know that he ’s going to be out for a while. ”

At least he wasn ’t in any pain. Not yet.

“Is there anything you want to talk about before you leave? ” Alice asked sympathetically. “You must be
more than a little traumatized. ”

I knew what she was curious about. But I had other questions.

“Will I be like that? ” I asked her, my voice subdued. “Like that girl Bree in the meadow? ”

There were many things I needed to think of, but I couldn ’t seem to get her out of my head, the newborn
whose other life was now — abruptly — over. Her face, twisted with desire for my blood, lingered
behind my eyelids.

Alice stroked my arm. “Everyone is different. But something like that, yes. ”

I was very still, trying to imagine.

“It passes,” she promised.

“How soon? ”

She shrugged. “A few years, maybe less. It might be different for you. I ’ve never seen anyone go through
this who ’s chosen it beforehand. It should be interesting to see how that affects you. ”

“Interesting, ” I repeated.

“We’ll keep you out of trouble. ”

“I know that. I trust you. ” My voice was monotone, dead.

Alice ’s forehead puckered. “If you ’re worried about Carlisle and Edward, I ’m sure they ’ll be fine. I
believe Sam is beginning to trust us . . . well, to trust Carlisle, at least. It ’s a good thing, too. I imagine the
atmosphere got a little tense when Carlisle had to rebreak the fractures —”

“Please, Alice. ”

“Sorry.”

I took a deep breath to steady myself. Jacob had begun healing too quickly, and some of his bones had




set wrong. He ’d been out cold for the process, but it was still hard to think about.

“Alice, can I ask you a question? About the future? ”

She was suddenly wary. “You know I don ’t see everything. ”

“It’s not that, exactly. But you do see my future, sometimes. Why is that, do you think, when nothing else
works on me? Not what Jane can do, or Edward or Aro . . . ” My sentence trailed off with my interest
level. My curiosity on this point was fleeting, heavily overshadowed by more pressing emotions.

Alice, however, found the question very interesting. “Jasper, too, Bella — his talent works on your body
just as well as it does on anyone else ’s. That ’s the difference, do you see it? Jasper ’s abilities affect the
body physically. He really does calm your system down, or excite it. It ’s not an illusion. And I see visions
of outcomes, not the reasons and thoughts behind the decisions that create them. It ’s outside the mind,
not an illusion, either; reality, or at least one version of it. But Jane and Edward and Aro and Demetri —
they work inside the mind. Jane only creates an illusion of pain. She doesn ’t really hurt your body, you
only think you feel it. You see, Bella? You are safe inside your mind. No one can reach you there. It ’s no
wonder that Aro was so curious about your future abilities. ”

She watched my face to see if I was following her logic. In truth, her words had all started to run
together, the syllables and sounds losing their meaning. I couldn ’t concentrate on them. Still, I nodded.
Trying to look like I got it.

She wasn ’t fooled. She stroked my cheek and murmured, “He’s going to be okay, Bella. I don ’t need a
vision to know that. Are you ready to go? ”

“One more thing. Can I ask you another question about the future? I don ’t want specifics, just an
overview. ”

“I’ll do my best, ” she said, doubtful again.

“Can you still see me becoming a vampire? ”

“Oh, that ’s easy. Sure, I do. ”

I nodded slowly.

She examined my face, her eyes unfathomable. “Don’t you know your own mind, Bella? ”

“I do. I just wanted to be sure. ”

“I’m only as sure as you are, Bella. You know that. If you were to change your mind, what I see would
change . . . or disappear, in your case. ”

I sighed. “That isn ’t going to happen, though. ”

She put her arms around me. “I’m sorry. I can ’t really empathize. My first memory is of seeing Jasper ’s
face in my future; I always knew that he was where my life was headed. But I can sympathize. I’m so
sorry you have to choose between two good things. ”

I shook off her arms. “Don’t feel sorry for me. ” There were people who deserved sympathy. I wasn ’t
one of them. And there wasn ’t any choice to make — there was just breaking a good heart to attend to
now. “I’ll go deal with Charlie. ”

I drove my truck home, where Charlie was waiting just as suspiciously as Alice had expected.




“Hey, Bella. How was your shopping trip? ” he greeted me when I walked into the kitchen. He had his
arms folded over his chest, his eyes on my face.

“Long, ” I said dully. “We just got back. ”

Charlie assessed my mood. “I guess you already heard about Jake, then? ”

“Yes. The rest of the Cullens beat us home. Esme told us where Carlisle and Edward were. ”

“Are you okay? ”

“Worried about Jake. As soon as I make dinner, I ’m going down to La Push. ”

“I told you those motorcycles were dangerous. I hope this makes you realize that I wasn ’t kidding
around. ”

I nodded as I started pulling things out of the fridge. Charlie settled himself in at the table. He seemed to
be in a more talkative mood than usual.

“I don’t think you need to worry about Jake too much. Anyone who can cuss with that kind of energy is
going to recover. ”

“Jake was awake when you saw him? ” I asked, spinning to look at him.

“Oh, yeah, he was awake. You should have heard him — actually, it ’s better you didn ’t. I don’t think
there was anyone in La Push who couldn’t hear him. I don ’t know where he picked up that vocabulary,
but I hope he hasn ’t been using that kind of language around you. ”

“He had a pretty good excuse today. How did he look? ”

“Messed up. His friends carried him in. Good thing they ’re big boys, ’cause that kid ’s an armful. Carlisle
said his right leg is broken, and his right arm. Pretty much the whole right side of his body got crushed
when he wrecked that damn bike. ” Charlie shook his head. “If I ever hear of you riding again, Bella —”

“No problem there, Dad. You won ’t. Do you really think Jake ’s okay?”

“Sure, Bella, don ’t worry. He was himself enough to tease me. ”

“Tease you? ” I echoed in shock.


“Yeah — in between insulting somebody ’s mother and taking the Lord ’s name in vain, he said, ‘Bet you ’
re glad she loves Cullen instead of me today, huh, Charlie? ’”

I turned back to the fridge so that he couldn ’t see my face.

“And I couldn ’t argue. Edward ’s more mature than Jacob when it comes to your safety, I ’ll give him that
much. ”

“Jacob’s plenty mature, ” I muttered defensively. “I’m sure this wasn ’t his fault. ”

“Weird day today, ” Charlie mused after a minute. “You know, I don ’t put much stock in that
superstitious crap, but it was odd. . . . It was like Billy knew something bad was going to happen to Jake.
He was nervous as a turkey on Thanksgiving all morning. I don ’t think he heard anything I said to him.

“And then, weirder than that — remember back in February and March when we had all that trouble




with the wolves? ”

I bent down to get a frying pan out of the cupboard, and hid there an extra second or two.

“Yeah,” I mumbled.

“I hope we ’re not going to have a problem with that again. This morning, we were out in the boat, and
Billy wasn ’t paying any attention to me or the fish, when all of a sudden, you could hear wolves yowling
in the woods. More than one, and, boy, was it loud. Sounded like they were right there in the village.
Weirdest part was, Billy turned the boat around and headed straight back to the harbor like they were
calling to him personally. Didn ’t even hear me ask what he was doing.

“The noise stopped before we got the boat docked. But all of a sudden Billy was in the biggest hurry not
to miss the game, though we had hours still. He was mumbling some nonsense about an earlier showing .
. . of a live game? I tell you, Bella, it was odd.

“Well, he found some game he said he wanted to watch, but then he just ignored it. He was on the phone
the whole time, calling Sue, and Emily, and your friend Quil ’s grandpa. Couldn ’t quite make out what he
was looking for — he just chatted real casual with them.

“Then the howling started again right outside the house. I ’ve never heard anything like it — I had goose
bumps on my arms. I asked Billy — had to shout over the noise — if he ’d been setting traps in his yard.
It sounded like the animal was in serious pain. ”

I winced, but Charlie was so caught up in his story that he didn ’t notice.

“’Course I forgot all about that till just this minute, ’cause that ’s when Jake made it home. One minute it
was that wolf yowling, and then you couldn ’t hear it anymore — Jake’s cussing drowned it right out. Got
a set of lungs on him, that boy does. ”

Charlie paused for a minute, his face thoughtful. “Funny that some good should come out of this mess. I
didn ’t think they were ever going to get over that fool prejudice they have against the Cullens down there.
But somebody called Carlisle, and Billy was real grateful when he showed up. I thought we should get
Jake up to the hospital, but Billy wanted to keep him home, and Carlisle agreed. I guess Carlisle knows
what ’s best. Generous of him to sign up for such a long stretch of house calls. ”

“And . . .” he paused, as if unwilling to say something. He sighed, and then continued. “And Edward was
really . . . nice. He seemed as worried about Jacob as you are — like that was his brother lying there.
The look in his eyes . . . ” Charlie shook his head. “He’s a decent guy, Bella. I ’ll try to remember that. No
promises, though. ” He grinned at me.

“I won’t hold you to it, ” I mumbled.

Charlie stretched his legs and groaned. “It’s nice to be home. You wouldn ’t believe how crowded Billy ’s
little place gets. Seven of Jake ’s friends all squished themselves into that little front room — I could
hardly breathe. Have you ever noticed how big those Quileute kids all are? ”

“Yeah, I have. ”

Charlie stared at me, his eyes abruptly more focused. “Really, Bella, Carlisle said Jake will be up and
around in no time. Said it looked a lot worse than it was. He ’s going to be fine. ”

I just nodded.




Jacob had looked so . . . strangely fragile when I ’d hurried down to see him as soon as Charlie had left.
He’d had braces everywhere — Carlisle said there was no point in plaster, as fast as he was healing. His
face had been pale and drawn, deeply unconscious though he was at the time. Breakable. Huge as he
was, he’d looked very breakable. Maybe that had just been my imagination, coupled with the knowledge
that I was going to have to break him.

If only I could be struck by lightning and be split in two. Preferably painfully. For the first time, giving up
being human felt like a true sacrifice. Like it might be too much to lose.

I put Charlie ’s dinner on the table next to his elbow and headed for the door.

“Er, Bella? Could you wait just a second? ”

“Did I forget something? ” I asked, eyeing his plate.

“No, no. I just . . . want to ask a favor. ” Charlie frowned and looked at the floor. “Have a seat — this
won’t take long. ”

I sat across from him, a little confused. I tried to focus. “What do you need, Dad? ”

“Here’s the gist of it, Bella. ” Charlie flushed. “Maybe I’m just feeling . . . superstitious after hanging out
with Billy while he was being so strange all day. But I have this . . . hunch. I feel like . . . I ’m going to lose
you soon. ”

“Don’t be silly, Dad, ” I mumbled guiltily. “You want me to go to school, don ’t you? ”

“Just promise me one thing. ”

I was hesitant, ready to rescind. “Okay . . .”

“Will you tell me before you do anything major? Before you run off with him or something? ”

“Dad . . . ,” I moaned.

“I’m serious. I won ’t kick up a fuss. Just give me some advance notice. Give me a chance to hug you
goodbye. ”

Cringing mentally, I held up my hand. “This is silly. But, if it makes you happy, . . . I promise. ”

“Thanks, Bella, ” he said. “I love you, kid. ”

“I love you, too, Dad. ” I touched his shoulder, and then shoved away from the table. “If you need
anything, I ’ll be at Billy ’s.”

I didn ’t look back as I ran out. This was just perfect, just what I needed right now. I grumbled to myself
all the way to La Push.

Carlisle ’s black Mercedes was not in front of Billy ’s house. That was both good and bad. Obviously, I
needed to talk to Jacob alone. Yet I still wished I could somehow hold Edward ’s hand, like I had before,
when Jacob was unconscious. Impossible. But I missed Edward — it had seemed like a very long
afternoon alone with Alice. I supposed that made my answer quite obvious. I already knew that I couldn ’
t live without Edward. That fact wasn ’t going to make this any less painful.

I tapped quietly on the front door.




“Come in, Bella, ” Billy said. The roar of my truck was easy to recognize.

I let myself in.

“Hey, Billy. Is he awake? ” I asked.

“He woke up about a half hour ago, just before the doctor left. Go on in. I think he ’s been waiting for
you.”

I flinched, and then took a deep breath. “Thanks. ”

I hesitated at the door to Jacob ’s room, not sure whether to knock. I decided to peek first, hoping —
coward that I was — that maybe he ’d gone back to sleep. I felt like I could use just a few more minutes.

I opened the door a crack and leaned hesitantly in.

Jacob was waiting for me, his face calm and smooth. The haggard, gaunt look was gone, but only a
careful blankness took its place. There was no animation in his dark eyes.

It was hard to look at his face, knowing that I loved him. It made more of a difference than I would have
thought. I wondered if it had always been this hard for him, all this time.

Thankfully, someone had covered him with a quilt. It was a relief not to have to see the extent of the
damage.

I stepped in and shut the door quietly behind me.

“Hi, Jake, ” I murmured.

He didn ’t answer at first. He looked at my face for a long moment. Then, with some effort, he rearranged
his expression into a slightly mocking smile.

“Yeah, I sort of thought it might be like that. ” He sighed. “Today has definitely taken a turn for the worse.
First I pick the wrong place, miss the best fight, and Seth gets all the glory. Then Leah has to be an idiot
trying to prove she ’s as tough as the rest of us and I have to be the idiot who saves her. And now this. ”
He waved his left hand toward me where I hesitated by the door.

“How are you feeling? ” I mumbled. What a stupid question.

“A little stoned. Dr. Fang isn ’t sure how much pain medication I need, so he ’s going with trial and error.
Think he overdid it. ”

“But you ’re not in pain. ”

“No. At least, I can ’t feel my injuries, ” he said, smiling mockingly again.

I bit my lip. I was never going to get through this. Why didn ’t anyone ever try to kill me when I wanted
to die?

The wry humor left his face, and his eyes warmed up. His forehead creased, like he was worried.

“How about you? ” he asked, sounding really concerned. “Are you okay? ”

“Me?” I stared at him. Maybe he had taken too many drugs. “Why?”

“Well, I mean, I was pretty sure that he wouldn ’t actually hurt you, but I wasn ’t sure how bad it was




going to be. I ’ve been going a little crazy with worrying about you ever since I woke up. I didn ’t know if
you were going to be allowed to visit or anything. The suspense was terrible. How did it go? Was he
mean to you? I ’m sorry if it was bad. I didn ’t mean for you to have to go through that alone. I was
thinking I ’d be there. . . . ”

It took me a minute to even understand. He babbled on, looking more and more awkward, until I got
what he was saying. Then I hurried to reassure him.

“No, no, Jake! I’m fine. Too fine, really. Of course he wasn ’t mean. I wish! ”

His eyes widened in what looked like horror. “What?”

“He wasn ’t even mad at me — he wasn ’t even mad at you! He’s so unselfish it makes me feel even
worse. I wish he would have yelled at me or something. It ’s not like I don ’t deserve . . . well, much
worse that getting yelled at. But he doesn ’t care. He just wants me to be happy.”

“He wasn ’t mad? ” Jacob asked, incredulous.

“No. He was . . . much too kind. ”

Jacob stared for another minute, and then he suddenly frowned. “Well, damn!” he growled.

“What’s wrong, Jake? Does it hurt? ” My hands fluttered uselessly as I looked around for his medication.

“No,” he grumbled in a disgusted tone. “I can’t believe this! He didn ’t give you an ultimatum or anything?
”

“Not even close — what ’s wrong with you? ”

He scowled and shook his head. “I was sort of counting on his reaction. Damn it all. He ’s better than I
thought. ”

The way he said it, though angrier, reminded me of Edward ’s tribute to Jacob ’s lack of ethics in the tent
this morning. Which meant that Jake was still hoping, still fighting. I winced as that stabbed deep.

“He’s not playing any game, Jake, ” I said quietly.

“You bet he is. He ’s playing every bit as hard as I am, only he knows what he ’s doing and I don ’t. Don’t
blame me because he ’s a better manipulator than I am — I haven ’t been around long enough to learn all
his tricks. ”

“He isn ’t manipulating me! ”

“Yes, he is! When are you going to wake up and realize that he ’s not a perfect as you think he is? ”

“At least he didn ’t threaten to kill himself to make me kiss him, ” I snapped. As soon as the words were
out, I flushed with chagrin. “Wait. Pretend that didn ’t slip out. I swore to myself that I wasn ’t going to say
anything about that. ”

He took a deep breath. When he spoke, he was calmer. “Why not? ”

“Because I didn ’t come here to blame you for anything. ”

“It’s true, though, ” he said evenly. “I did do that. ”




“I don’t care, Jake. I’m not mad. ”

He smiled. “I don’t care, either. I knew you ’d forgive me, and I ’m glad I did it. I ’d do it again. At least I
have that much. At least I made you see that you do love me. That ’s worth something. ”

“Is it? Is it really better than if I was still in the dark? ”

“Don’t you think you ought to know how you feel — just so that it doesn ’t take you by surprise someday
when it ’s too late and you ’re a married vampire? ”

I shook my head. “No — I didn ’t mean better for me. I meant better for you. Does it make things better
or worse for you, having me know that I ’m in love with you? When it doesn ’t make a difference either
way. Would it have been better, easier for you, if I never clued in? ”

He took my question as seriously as I ’d meant it, thinking carefully before he answered. “Yes, it ’s better
to have you know, ” he finally decided. “If you hadn ’t figured it out . . . I ’d have always wondered if your
decision would have been different if you had. Now I know. I did everything I could. ” He dragged in an
unsteady breath, and closed his eyes.

This time I did not — could not — resist the urge to comfort him. I crossed the small room and kneeled
by his head, afraid to sit on the bed in case I jostled it and hurt him, and leaned in to touch my forehead
to his cheek.

Jacob sighed, and put his hand on my hair, holding me there.

“I’m so sorry, Jake. ”

“I always knew this was a long shot. It ’s not your fault, Bella. ”

“Not you, too, ” I moaned. “Please.”

He pulled away to look at me. “What?”

“It is my fault. And I ’m so sick of being told it ’s not.”

He grinned. It didn ’t touch his eyes. “You want me to haul you over the coals? ”

“Actually . . . I think I do. ”

He pursed his lips as he measured how much I meant it. A smile flashed across his face briefly, and then
he twisted his expression into a fierce scowl.

“Kissing me back like that was inexcusable. ” He spit the words at me. “If you knew you were just going
to take it back, maybe you shouldn ’t have been quite so convincing about it. ”

I winced and nodded. “I’m so sorry. ”

“Sorry doesn ’t make anything better, Bella. What were you thinking? ”

“I wasn ’t,” I whispered.

“You should have told me to go die. That ’s what you want. ”

“No, Jacob,” I whimpered, fighting against the budding tears. “No! Never.”

“You’re not crying? ” he demanded, his voice suddenly back to its normal tone. He twitched impatiently




on the bed.

“Yeah,” I muttered, laughing weakly at myself through the tears that were suddenly sobs.

He shifted his weight, throwing his good leg off the bed as if he were going to try to stand.

“What are you doing? ” I demanded through the tears. “Lie down, you idiot, you ’ll hurt yourself! ” I
jumped to my feet and pushed his good shoulder down with two hands.

He surrendered, leaning back with a gasp of pain, but he grabbed me around my waist and pulled me
down on the bed, against his good side. I curled up there, trying to stifle the silly sobs against his hot skin.

“I can’t believe you ’re crying, ” he mumbled. “You know I just said those things because you wanted me
to. I didn ’t mean them. ” His hand rubbed against my shoulders.

“I know.” I took a deep, ragged breath, trying to control myself. How did I end up being the one crying
while he did the comforting? “It’s all still true, though. Thanks for saying it out loud. ”

“Do I get points for making you cry? ”

“Sure, Jake.” I tried to smile. “As many as you want. ”

“Don’t worry, Bella, honey. It ’s all going to work out. ”

“I don’t see how, ” I muttered.

He patted the top of my head. “I’m going to give in and be good. ”

“More games? ” I wondered, tilting my chin so that I could see his face.

“Maybe.” He laughed with a bit of effort, and then winced. “But I ’m going to try. ”

I frowned.

“Don’t be so pessimistic, ” he complained. “Give me a little credit. ”

“What do you mean by ‘be good’?”

“I’ll be your friend, Bella, ” he said quietly. “I won’t ask for more than that. ”

“I think it ’s too late for that, Jake. How can we be friends, when we love each other like this? ”

He looked at the ceiling, his stare intent, as if he were reading something that was written there. “Maybe .
. . it will have to be a long-distance friendship. ”

I clenched my teeth together, glad he wasn ’t looking at my face, fighting against the sobs that threatened
to overtake me again. I needed to be strong, and I had no idea how. . . .

“You know that story in the Bible? ” Jacob asked suddenly, still reading the blank ceiling. “The one with
the king and the two women fighting over the baby? ”

“Sure. King Solomon. ”

“That ’s right. King Solomon, ” he repeated. “And he said, cut the kid in half . . . but it was only a test.
Just to see who would give up their share to protect it. ”




“Yeah, I remember. ”

He looked back at my face. “I’m not going to cut you in half anymore, Bella. ”

I understood what he was saying. He was telling me that he loved me the most, that his surrender proved
it. I wanted to defend Edward, to tell Jacob how Edward would do the same thing if I wanted, if I would
let him. I was the one who wouldn ’t renounce my claim there. But there was no point in starting an
argument that would only hurt him more.

I closed my eyes, willing myself to control the pain. I couldn ’t impose that on him.

We were quiet for a moment. He seemed to be waiting for me to say something; I was trying to think of
something to say.

“Can I tell you what the worst part is? ” he asked hesitantly when I said nothing. “Do you mind? I am
going to be good. ”

“Will it help? ” I whispered.

“It might. It couldn ’t hurt. ”

“What’s the worst part, then? ”

“The worse part is knowing what would have been. ”

“What might have been. ” I sighed.

“No.” Jacob shook his head. “I’m exactly right for you, Bella. It would have been effortless for us —
comfortable, easy as breathing. I was the natural path your life would have taken. . . . ” He stared into
space for a moment, and I waited. “If the world was the way it was supposed to be, if there were no
monsters and no magic . . . ”

I could see what he saw, and I knew that he was right. If the world was the sane place it was supposed
to be, Jacob and I would have been together. And we would have been happy. He was my soul mate in
that world — would have been my soul mate still if his claim had not been overshadowed by something
stronger, something so strong that it could not exist in a rational world.

Was it out there for Jacob, too? Something that would trump a soul mate? I had to believe that it was.

Two futures, two soul mates . . . too much for any one person. And so unfair that I wouldn ’t be the only
one to pay for it. Jacob ’s pain seemed too high a price. Cringing at the thought of that price, I wondered
if I would have wavered, if I hadn ’t lost Edward once. If I didn ’t know what it was like to live without
him. I wasn ’t sure. That knowledge was so deep a part of me, I couldn ’t imagine how I would feel
without it.

“He’s like a drug for you, Bella. ” His voice was still gentle, not at all critical. “I see that you can ’t live
without him now. It ’s too late. But I would have been healthier for you. Not a drug; I would have been
the air, the sun. ”

The corner of my mouth turned up in a wistful half-smile. “I used to think of you that way, you know.
Like the sun. My personal sun. You balanced out the clouds nicely for me. ”

He sighed. “The clouds I can handle. But I can ’t fight with an eclipse. ”

I touched his face, laying my hand against his cheek. He exhaled at my touch and closed his eyes. It was




very quiet. For a minute I could hear the beating of his heart, slow and even.

“Tell me the worst part for you, ” he whispered.

“I think that might be a bad idea. ”

“Please.”

“I think it will hurt. ”

“Please.”

How could I deny him anything at this point?

“The worst part . . . ” I hesitated, and then let words spill out in a flood of truth. “The worst part is that I
saw the whole thing — our whole life. And I want it bad, Jake, I want it all. I want to stay right here and
never move. I want to love you and make you happy. And I can ’t, and it ’s killing me. It ’s like Sam and
Emily, Jake — I never had a choice. I always knew nothing would change. Maybe that ’s why I was
fighting against you so hard. ”

He seemed to be concentrating on breathing evenly.

“I knew I shouldn ’t have told you that. ”

He shook his head slowly. “No. I’m glad you did. Thank you. ” He kissed the top of my head, and then
he sighed. “I’ll be good now. ”

I looked up, and he was smiling.

“So you’re going to get married, huh? ”

“We don’t have to talk about that. ”

“I’d like to know some of the details. I don ’t know when I ’ll talk to you again. ”

I had to wait for a minute before I could speak. When I was pretty sure that my voice wouldn ’t break, I
answered his question.

“It’s not really my idea . . . but, yes. It means a lot to him. I figure, why not? ”

Jake nodded. “That ’s true. It ’s not such a big thing — in comparison. ”

His voice was very calm, very practical. I stared at him, curious about how he was managing, and that
ruined it. He met my eyes for a second, and then twisted his head away. I waited to speak until his
breathing was under control.

“Yes. In comparison, ” I agreed.

“How long do you have left? ”

“That depends on how long it takes Alice to pull a wedding together. ” I suppressed a groan, imagining
what Alice would do.

“Before or after? ” he asked quietly.

I knew what he meant. “After. ”




He nodded. This was a relief to him. I wondered how many sleepless nights the thought of my graduation
had given him.

“Are you scared? ” he whispered.

“Yes,” I whispered back.

“What are you afraid of? ” I could barely hear his voice now. He stared down at my hands.

“Lots of things. ” I worked to make my voice lighter, but I stayed honest. “I’ve never been much of a
masochist, so I ’m not looking forward to the pain. And I wish there was some way to keep him away —
I don’t want him to suffer with me, but I don ’t think there ’s any way around it. There ’s dealing with
Charlie, too, and Renée. . . . And then afterward, I hope I ’ll be able to control myself soon. Maybe I’ll
be such a menace that the pack will have to take me out. ”

He looked up with a disapproving expression. “I’d hamstring any one of my brothers who tried. ”

“Thanks. ”

He smiled halfheartedly. Then he frowned. “But isn ’t it more dangerous than that? In all of the stories,
they say it ’s too hard . . . they lose control . . . people die. . . . ” He gulped.

“No, I’m not afraid of that. Silly Jacob — don’t you know better than to believe vampire stories? ”

He obviously didn ’t appreciate my attempt at humor.

“Well, anyway, lots to worry about. But worth it, in the end. ”

He nodded unwillingly, and I knew that he in no way agreed with me.

I stretched my neck up to whisper in his ear, laying my cheek against his warm skin. “You know I love
you.”

“I know,” he breathed, his arm tightening automatically around my waist. “You know how much I wish it
was enough. ”

“Yes.”

“I’ll always be waiting in the wings, Bella, ” he promised, lightening his tone and loosening his arm. I pulled
away with a dull, dragging sense of loss, feeling the tearing separation as I left a part of me behind, there
on the bed next to him. “You’ll always have that spare option if you want it. ”

I made an effort to smile. “Until my heart stops beating. ”

He grinned back. “You know, I think maybe I ’d still take you — maybe. I guess that depends on how
much you stink. ”

“Should I come back to see you? Or would you rather I didn ’t?”

“I’ll think it through and get back to you, ” he said. “I might need the company to keep from going crazy.
The vampire surgeon extraordinaire says I can ’t phase until he gives the okay — it might mess up the
way the bones are set. ” Jacob made a face.

“Be good and do what Carlisle tells you to do. You ’ll get well faster. ”




“Sure, sure. ”

“I wonder when it will happen, ” I said. “When the right girl is going to catch your eye. ”

“Don’t get your hopes up, Bella. ” Jacob’s voice was abruptly sour. “Though I ’m sure it would be a relief
for you. ”

“Maybe, maybe not. I probably won ’t think she ’s good enough for you. I wonder how jealous I ’ll be. ”

“That part might be kind of fun, ” he admitted.

“Let me know if you want me to come back, and I ’ll be here, ” I promised.

With a sigh, he turned his cheek toward me.

I leaned in and kissed his face softly. “Love you, Jacob. ”

He laughed lightly. “Love you more. ”

He watched me walk out of his room with an unfathomable expression in his black eyes.



27. NEEDS

I DIDN’T GET VERY FAR BEFORE DRIVING BECAME IMPOSsible.

When I couldn ’t see anymore, I let my tires find the rough shoulder and rolled slowly to a stop. I slumped
over on the seat and allowed the weakness I ’d fought in Jacob ’s room crush me. It was worse that I ’d
thought — the force of it took me by surprise. Yes, I had been right to hide this from Jacob. No one
should ever see this.

But I wasn ’t alone for very long — just exactly long enough for Alice to see me here, and then the few
minutes it took him to arrive. The door creaked open, and he pulled me into his arms.

At first it was worse. Because there was that smaller part of me — smaller, but getting louder and angrier
every minute, screaming at the rest of me — that craved a different set of arms. So then there was fresh
guilt to season the pain.

He didn ’t say anything, he just let me sob until I began to blubber out Charlie ’s name.

“Are you really ready to go home? ” he asked doubtfully.

I managed to convey, after several attempts, that it wasn ’t going to get any better anytime soon. I needed
to get past Charlie before it got late enough for him to call Billy.

So he drove me home — for once not even getting close to my truck ’s internal speed limit — keeping
one arm wrapped tightly around me. The whole way, I fought for control. It seemed to be a doomed
effort at first, but I didn ’t give up. Just a few seconds, I told myself. Just time for a few excuses, or a few
lies, and then I could break down again. I had to be able to do that much. I scrambled around in my
head, searching desperately for a reserve of strength.

There was just enough for me to quiet the sobs — hold them back but not end them. The tears didn ’t




slow. I couldn ’t seem to find any handle to even begin to work with those.

“Wait for me upstairs, ” I mumbled when we were in front of the house.

He hugged me closer for one minute, and then he was gone.

Once inside, I headed straight for the stairs.

“Bella? ” Charlie called after me from his usual place on the sofa as I walked by.

I turned to look at him without speaking. His eyes bugged wide, and he lurched to his feet.

“What happened? Is Jacob . . . ? ” he demanded.

I shook my head furiously, trying to find my voice. “He’s fine, he ’s fine, ” I promised, my voice low and
husky. And Jacob was fine, physically, which is all Charlie was worried about at the moment.

“But what happened? ” He grabbed my shoulders, his eyes still anxious and wide. “What happened to
you? ”

I must look worse than I ’d imagined.

“Nothing, Dad. I . . . just had to talk to Jacob about . . . some things that were hard. I ’m fine. ”

The anxiety calmed, and was replaced by disapproval.

“Was this really the best time? ” he asked.

“Probably not, Dad, but I didn ’t have any alternatives — it just got to the point where I had to choose. . .
. Sometimes, there isn ’t any way to compromise. ”

He shook his head slowly. “How did he handle it? ”

I didn ’t answer.

He looked at my face for a minute, and then nodded. That must have been answer enough.

“I hope you didn ’t mess up his recovery. ”

“He’s a quick healer, ” I mumbled.

Charlie sighed.

I could feel the control slipping.

“I’ll be in my room, ” I told him, shrugging out from underneath his hands.

“’Kay,” Charlie agreed. He could probably see the waterworks starting to escalate. Nothing scared
Charlie worse than tears.

I made my way to my room, blind and stumbling.

Once inside, I fought with the clasp on my bracelet, trying to undo it with shaking fingers.

“No, Bella, ” Edward whispered, capturing my hands. “It’s part of who you are. ”

He pulled me into the cradle of his arms as the sobs broke free again.




This longest of days seemed to stretch on and on and on. I wondered if it would ever end.

But, though the night dragged relentlessly, it was not the worst night of my life. I took comfort from that.
And I was not alone. There was a great deal of comfort in that, too.

Charlie ’s fear of emotional outbursts kept him from checking on me, though I was not quiet — he
probably got no more sleep than I did.

My hindsight seemed unbearably clear tonight. I could see every mistake I ’d made, every bit of harm I ’d
done, the small things and the big things. Each pain I ’d caused Jacob, each wound I ’d given Edward,
stacked up into neat piles that I could not ignore or deny.

And I realized that I ’d been wrong all along about the magnets. It had not been Edward and Jacob that I ’
d been trying to force together, it was the two parts of myself, Edward ’s Bella and Jacob ’s Bella. But
they could not exist together, and I never should have tried.

I’d done so much damage.

At some point in the night, I remembered the promise I ’d made to myself early this morning — that I
would never make Edward see me shed another tear for Jacob Black. The thought brought on a round of
hysteria which frightened Edward more than the weeping. But it passed, too, when it had run its course.

Edward said little; he just held me on the bed and let me ruin his shirt, staining it with salt water.

It took longer than I thought it would for that smaller, broken part of me to cry herself out. It happened,
though, and I was eventually exhausted enough to sleep. Unconsciousness did not bring full relief from the
pain, just a numbing, dulling ease, like medicine. Made it more bearable. But it was still there; I was
aware of it, even asleep, and that helped me to make the adjustments I needed to make.

The morning brought with it, if not a brighter outlook, as least a measure of control, some acceptance.
Instinctively, I knew that the new tear in my heart would always ache. That was just going to be a part of
me now. Time would make it easier — that’s what everyone always said. But I didn ’t care if time healed
me or not, so long as Jacob could get better. Could be happy again.

When I woke up, there was no disorientation. I opened my eyes — finally dry — and met his anxious
gaze.

“Hey,” I said. My voice was hoarse. I cleared my throat.

He didn ’t answer. He watched me, waiting for it to start.

“No, I’m fine, ” I promised. “That won ’t happen again. ”

His eyes tightened at my words.

“I’m sorry that you had to see that, ” I said. “That wasn ’t fair to you. ”

He put his hands on either side of my face.

“Bella . . . are you sure? Did you make the right choice? I ’ve never seen you in so much pain —” His
voice broke on the last word.

But I had known worse pain.

I touched his lips. “Yes.”




“I don’t know. . . .” His brow creased. “If it hurts you so much, how can it possibly be the right thing for
you? ”

“Edward, I know who I can ’t live without. ”

“But . . . ”

I shook my head. “You don ’t understand. You may be brave enough or strong enough to live without
me, if that ’s what ’s best. But I could never be that self-sacrificing. I have to be with you. It ’s the only
way I can live. ”

He still looked dubious. I should never have let him stay with me last night. But I had needed him so
much. . . .

“Hand me that book, will you? ” I asked, pointing over his shoulder.

His eyebrows pulled together in confusion, but he gave it to me quickly.

“This again? ” he asked.

“I just wanted to find this one part I remembered . . . to see how she said it. . . . ” I flipped through the
book, finding the page I wanted easily. The corner was dog-eared from the many times I ’d stopped
here. “Cathy ’s a monster, but there were a few things she got right, ” I muttered. I read the lines quietly,
mostly to myself. “‘If all else perished, and he remained, I should still continue to be; and if all else
remained, and he were annihilated, the universe would turn to a mighty stranger. ’” I nodded, again to
myself. “I know exactly what she means. And I know who I can ’t live without. ”

Edward took the book from my hands and flipped it across the room — it landed with a light thud on my
desk. He wrapped his arms around my waist.

A small smile lit his perfect face, though worry still lined his forehead. “Heathcliff had his moments, too, ”
he said. He didn ’t need the book to get it word perfect. He pulled me closer and whispered in my ear, “‘
I cannot live without my life! I cannot live without my soul! ’”

“Yes,” I said quietly. “That ’s my point. ”

“Bella, I can ’t stand for you to be miserable. Maybe . . . ”

“No, Edward. I’ve made a real mess of things, and I ’m going to have to live with that. But I know what I
want and what I need . . . and what I ’m going to do now. ”

“What are we going to do now? ”

I smiled just a bit at his correction, and then I sighed. “We are going to go see Alice. ”

Alice was on the bottom porch step, too hyper to wait for us inside. She looked about to break into a
celebration dance, so excited was she about the news she knew I was there to deliver.

“Thank you, Bella! ” she sang as we got out of the truck.

“Hold it, Alice, ” I warned her, lifting a hand up to halt her glee. “I’ve got a few limitations for you. ”

“I know, I know, I know. I only have until August thirteenth at the latest, you have veto power on the
guest list, and if I go overboard on anything, you ’ll never speak to me again. ”




“Oh, okay. Well, yeah. You know the rules, then. ”

“Don’t worry, Bella, it will be perfect. Do you want to see your dress? ”

I had to take a few deep breaths. Whatever makes her happy, I said to myself.

“Sure.”

Alice ’s smile was smug.

“Um, Alice, ” I said, keeping the casual, unruffled tone in my voice. “When did you get me a dress? ”

It probably wasn ’t much of a show. Edward squeezed my hand.

Alice led the way inside, heading for the stairs. “These things take time, Bella, ” Alice explained. Her tone
seemed . . . evasive. “I mean, I wasn ’t sure things were going to turn out this way, but there was a
distinct possibility. . . . ”

“When? ” I asked again.

“Perrine Bruyere has a waiting list, you know, ” she said, defensive now. “Fabric masterpieces don ’t
happen overnight. If I hadn ’t thought ahead, you ’d be wearing something off the rack! ”

It didn ’t look like I was going to get a straight answer. “Per — who?”

“He’s not a major designer, Bella, so there ’s no need to throw a hissy fit. He ’s got promise, though, and
he specializes in what I needed. ”

“I’m not throwing a fit. ”

“No, you’re not.” She eyed my calm face suspiciously. Then, as we walked into her room, she turned on
Edward.

“You — out.”

“Why? ” I demanded.

“Bella, ” she groaned. “You know the rules. He ’s not supposed to see the dress till the day of. ”

I took another deep breath. “It doesn ’t matter to me. And you know he ’s already seen it in your head.
But if that ’s how you want it. . . . ”

She shoved Edward back out the door. He didn ’t even look at her — his eyes were on me, wary, afraid
to leave me alone.

I nodded, hoping my expression was tranquil enough to reassure him.

Alice shut the door in his face.

“All right! ” she muttered. “C’mon. ”

She grabbed my wrist and towed me to her closet — which was bigger than my bedroom — and then
dragged me to the back corner, where a long white garment bag had a rack all to itself.

She unzipped the bag in one sweeping movement, and then slipped it carefully off the hanger. She took a
step back, holding her hand out to the dress like she was a game show hostess.




“Well? ” she asked breathlessly.

I appraised it for a long moment, playing with her a bit. Her expression turned worried.

“Ah,” I said, and I smiled, letting her relax. “I see.”

“What do you think? ” she demanded.

It was my Anne of Green Gables vision all over again.

“It’s perfect, of course. Exactly right. You ’re a genius. ”

She grinned. “I know.”

“Nineteen-eighteen? ” I guessed.

“More or less, ” she said, nodding. “Some of it is my design, the train, the veil. . . . ” She touched the
white satin as she spoke. “The lace is vintage. Do you like it? ”

“It’s beautiful. It ’s just right for him. ”

“But is it just right for you? ” she insisted.

“Yes, I think it is, Alice. I think it ’s just what I need. I know you ’ll do a great job with this . . . if you can
keep yourself in check. ”

She beamed.

“Can I see your dress? ” I asked.

She blinked, her face blank.

“Didn ’t you order your bridesmaid dress at the same time? I wouldn ’t want my maid of honor to wear
something off the rack.” I pretended to wince in horror.

She threw her arms around my waist. “Thank you, Bella! ”

“How could you not see that one coming? ” I teased, kissing her spiky hair. “Some psychic you are! ”

Alice danced back, and her face was bright with fresh enthusiasm. “I’ve got so much to do! Go play with
Edward. I have to get to work. ”

She dashed out of the room, yelling, “Esme! ” as she disappeared.

I followed at my own pace. Edward was waiting for me in the hallway, leaning against the wood-paneled
wall.

“That was very, very nice of you, ” he told me.

“She seems happy, ” I agreed.

He touched my face; his eyes — too dark, it had been so long since he ’d left me — searched my
expression minutely.

“Let’s get out of here, ” he suddenly suggested. “Let’s go to our meadow. ”




It sounded very appealing. “I guess I don ’t have to hide out anymore, do I? ”

“No. The danger is behind us. ”

He was quiet, thoughtful, as he ran. The wind blew on my face, warmer now that the storm had really
passed. The clouds covered the sky, the way they usually did.

The meadow was a peaceful, happy place today. Patches of summer daisies interrupted the grass with
splashes of white and yellow. I lay back, ignoring the slight dampness of the ground, and looked for
pictures in the clouds. They were too even, too smooth. No pictures, just a soft, gray blanket.

Edward lay next to me and held my hand.

“August thirteenth? ” he asked casually after a few minutes of comfortable silence.

“That gives me a month till my birthday. I didn ’t want to cut it too close. ”

He sighed. “Esme is three years older than Carlisle — technically. Did you know that? ”

I shook my head.

“It hasn ’t made any difference to them. ”

My voice was serene, a counterpoint to his anxiety. “My age is not really that important. Edward, I ’m
ready. I’ve chosen my life — now I want to start living it. ”

He stroked my hair. “The guest list veto? ”

“I don’t care really, but I . . . ” I hesitated, not wanting to explain this one. Best to get it over with. “I’m
not sure if Alice would feel the need to invite . . . a few werewolves. I don ’t know if . . . Jake would feel
like . . . like he should come. Like that ’s the right thing to do, or that I ’d get my feelings hurt if he didn ’t.
He shouldn ’t have to go through that. ”

Edward was quiet for a minute. I stared at the tips of the treetops, almost black against the light gray of
the sky.

Suddenly, Edward grabbed me around the waist and pulled me onto his chest.

“Tell me why you ’re doing this, Bella. Why did you decide, now, to give Alice free reign? ”

I repeated for him the conversation I had with Charlie last night before I ’d gone to see Jacob.

“It wouldn ’t be fair to keep Charlie out of this, ” I concluded. “And that means Renée and Phil. I might as
well let Alice have her fun, too. Maybe it will make the whole thing easier for Charlie if he gets his proper
goodbye. Even if he thinks it ’s much too early, I wouldn ’t want to cheat him out of the chance to walk
me down the aisle. ” I grimaced at the words, then took another deep breath. “At least my mom and dad
and my friends will know the best part of my choice, the most I ’m allowed to tell them. They ’ll know I
chose you, and they ’ll know we ’re together. They ’ll know I ’m happy, wherever I am. I think that ’s the
best I can do for them. ”

Edward held my face, searching it for a brief time.

“Deal ’s off, ” he said abruptly.

“What?” I gasped. “You’re backing out? No! ”




“I’m not backing out, Bella. I ’ll still keep my side of the bargain. But you ’re off the hook. Whatever you
want, no strings attached. ”

“Why? ”

“Bella, I see what you ’re doing. You ’re trying to make everyone else happy. And I don ’t care about
anyone else ’s feelings. I only need you to be happy. Don ’t worry about breaking the news to Alice. I ’ll
take care of it. I promise she won ’t make you feel guilty. ”

“But I —”

“No. We’re doing this your way. Because my way doesn ’t work. I call you stubborn, but look at what I’
ve done. I’ve clung with such idiotic obstinacy to my idea of what ’s best for you, though it ’s only hurt
you. Hurt you so deeply, time and time again. I don ’t trust myself anymore. You can have happiness your
way. My way is always wrong. So. ” He shifted under me, squaring his shoulders. “We’re doing it your
way, Bella. Tonight. Today. The sooner the better. I ’ll speak to Carlisle. I was thinking that maybe if we
gave you enough morphine, it wouldn ’t be so bad. It’s worth a try. ” He gritted his teeth.

“Edward, no —”

He put his finger to my lips. “Don’t worry, Bella, love. I haven ’t forgotten the rest of your demands. ”

His hands were in my hair, his lips moving softly — but very seriously — against mine, before I realized
what he was saying. What he was doing.

There wasn ’t much time to act. If I waited too long, I wouldn ’t be able to remember why I needed to
stop him. Already, I couldn ’t breathe right. My hands were gripping his arms, pulling myself tighter to
him, my mouth glued to his and answering every unspoken question his asked.

I tried to clear my head, to find a way to speak.

He rolled gently, pressing me into the cool grass.

Oh, never mind! my less noble side exulted. My head was full of the sweetness of his breath.

No, no, no, I argued with myself. I shook my head, and his mouth moved to my neck, giving me a
chance to breathe.

“Stop, Edward. Wait. ” My voice was as weak as my will.

“Why? ” he whispered into the hollow of my throat.

I labored to put some resolve into my tone. “I don’t want to do this now. ”

“Don’t you? ” he asked, a smile in his voice. He moved his lips back to mine and made speaking
impossible. Heat coursed through my veins, burning where my skin touched his.

I made myself focus. It took a great deal of effort just to force my hands to free themselves from his hair,
to move them to his chest. But I did it. And then I shoved against him, trying to push him away. I could
not succeed alone, but he responded as I knew he would.

He pulled back a few inches to look at me, and his eyes did nothing to help my resolve. They were black
fire. They smoldered.

“Why? ” he asked again, his voice low and rough. “I love you. I want you. Right now. ”




The butterflies in my stomach flooded my throat. He took advantage of my speechlessness.

“Wait, wait, ” I tried to say around his lips.

“Not for me, ” he murmured in disagreement.

“Please?” I gasped.

He groaned, and pushed himself away from me, rolling onto his back again.

We both lay there for a minute, trying to slow our breathing.

“Tell me why not, Bella, ” he demanded. “This had better not be about me. ”

Everything in my world was about him. What a silly thing to expect.

“Edward, this is very important to me. I am going to do this right. ”

“Who’s definition of right? ”

“Mine. ”

He rolled onto his elbow and stared at me, his expression disapproving.

“How are you going to do this right? ”

I took a deep breath. “Responsibly. Everything in the right order. I will not leave Charlie and Renée
without the best resolution I can give them. I won ’t deny Alice her fun, if I ’m having a wedding anyway.
And I will tie myself to you in every human way, before I ask you to make me immortal. I ’m following all
the rules, Edward. Your soul is far, far too important to me to take chances with. You ’re not going to
budge me on this. ”

“I’ll bet I could,” he murmured, his eyes burning again.

“But you wouldn ’t,” I said, trying to keep my voice level. “Not knowing that this is what I really need. ”

“You don ’t fight fair, ” he accused.

I grinned at him. “Never said I did. ”

He smiled back, wistful. “If you change your mind . . . ”

“You’ll be the first to know, ” I promised.

The rain started to drip through the clouds just then, a few scattered drops that made faint thuds as they
struck the grass.

I glowered at the sky.

“I’ll get you home. ” He brushed the tiny beads of water from my cheeks.

“Rain ’s not the problem, ” I grumbled. “It just means that it ’s time to go do something that will be very
unpleasant and possibly even highly dangerous. ”

His eyes widened in alarm.




“It’s a good thing you ’re bulletproof. ” I sighed. “I’m going to need that ring. It ’s time to tell Charlie. ”

He laughed at the expression on my face. “Highly dangerous, ” he agreed. He laughed again and then
reached into the pocket of his jeans. “But as least there ’s no need for a side trip. ”

He once again slid my ring into place on the third finger of my left hand.

Where it would stay — conceivably for the rest of eternity.



EPILOGUE — CHOICE

JACOB BLACK

“Jacob, do you think this is going to take too much longer? ” Leah demanded. Impatient. Whiney.

My teeth clenched together.

Like anyone in the pack, Leah knew everything. She knew why I came here — to the very edge of the
earth and sky and sea. To be alone. She knew that this was all I wanted. Just to be alone.

But Leah was going to force her company on me, anyway.

Besides being crazy annoyed, I did feel smug for a brief second. Because I didn ’t even have to think
about controlling my temper. It was easy now, something I just did, natural. The red haze didn ’t wash
over my eyes. The heat didn ’t shiver down my spine. My voice was calm when I answered.

“Jump off a cliff, Leah. ” I pointed to the one at my feet.

“Really, kid. ” She ignored me, throwing herself into a sprawl on the ground next to me. “You have no
idea how hard this is for me. ”

“For you?” It took me a minute to believe she was serious. “You have to be the most self-absorbed
person alive, Leah. I ’d hate to shatter the dream world you live in — the one where the sun is orbiting the
place where you stand — so I won ’t tell you how little I care what your problem is. Go. Away.”

“Just look at this from my perspective for a minute, okay? ” she continued as if I hadn ’t said anything.

If she was trying to break my mood, it worked. I started laughing. The sound hurt in strange ways.

“Stop snorting and pay attention, ” she snapped.

“If I pretend to listen, will you leave? ” I asked, glancing over at the permanent scowl on her face. I wasn ’
t sure if she had any other expressions anymore.

I remembered back to when I used to think that Leah was pretty, maybe even beautiful. That was a long
time ago. No one thought of her that way now. Except for Sam. He was never going to forgive himself.
Like it was his fault that she ’d turned into this bitter harpy.

Her scowl heated up, as if she could guess what I was thinking. Probably could.

“This is making me sick, Jacob. Can you imagine what this feels like to me? I don’t even like Bella
Swan. And you ’ve got me grieving over this leech-lover like I ’m in love with her, too. Can you see where




that might be a little confusing? I dreamed about kissing her last night! What the hell am I supposed to do
with that?”

“Do I care?”

“I can’t stand being in your head anymore! Get over her already! She ’s going to marry that thing. He ’s
going to try to change her into one of them! Time to move on, boy. ”

“Shut up,” I growled.

It would be wrong to strike back. I knew that. I was biting my tongue. But she ’d be sorry if she didn ’t
walk away. Now.

“He’ll probably just kill her anyway, ” Leah said. Sneering. “All the stories say that happens more often
than not. Maybe a funeral will be better closure than a wedding. Ha. ”

This time I had to work. I closed my eyes and fought the hot taste in my mouth. I pushed and shoved
against the slide of fire down my back, wrestling to keep my shape together while my body tried to shake
apart.

When I was in control again, I glowered at her. She was watching my hands as the tremors slowed.
Smiling.

Some joke.

“If you ’re upset about gender confusion, Leah . . . , ” I said. Slow, emphasizing each word. “How do you
think the rest of us like looking at Sam through your eyes? It ’s bad enough that Emily has to deal with
your fixation. She doesn ’t need us guys panting after him, too. ”

Pissed as I was, I still felt guilty when I watched the spasm of pain shoot across her face.

She scrambled to her feet — pausing only to spit in my direction — and ran for the trees, vibrating like a
tuning fork.

I laughed darkly. “You missed. ”

Sam was going to give me hell for that, but it was worth it. Leah wouldn ’t bug me anymore. And I ’d do it
again if I had the chance.

Because her words were still there, scratching themselves into my brain, the pain of it so strong that I
could hardly breathe.

It didn ’t matter so much that Bella ’d chosen someone else over me. That agony was nothing at all. That
agony I could live with for the rest of my stupid, too long, stretched-out life.

But it did matter that she was giving up everything — that she was letting her heart stop and her skin ice
over and her mind twist into some crystallized predator ’s head. A monster. A stranger.

I would have thought there was nothing worse than that, nothing more painful in the whole world.

But, if he killed her . . .

Again, I had to fight the rage. Maybe, if not for Leah, it would be good to let the heat change me into a
creature who could deal with it better. A creature with instincts so much stronger than human emotions.
An animal who couldn ’t feel pain in the same way. A different pain. Some variety, at least. But Leah was




running now, and I didn ’t want to share her thoughts. I cussed her under my breath for taking away that
escape, too.

My hands were shaking in spite of me. What shook them? Anger? Agony? I wasn ’t sure what I was
fighting now.

I had to believe that Bella would survive. But that required trust — a trust I didn ’t want to feel, a trust in
that bloodsucker ’s ability to keep her alive.

She would be different, and I wondered how that would affect me. Would it be the same as if she had
died, to see her standing there like a stone? Like ice? When her scent burned in my nostrils and triggered
the instinct to rip, to tear . . . How would that be? Could I want to kill her? Could I not want to kill one
of them?

I watched the swells roll toward the beach. They disappeared from sight under the edge of the cliff, but I
heard them beat against the sand. I watched them until it was late, long after dark.

Going home was probably a bad idea. But I was hungry, and I couldn ’t think of another plan.

I made a face as I pulled my arm through the retarded sling and grabbed my crutches. If only Charlie
hadn ’t seen me that day and spread the word of my “motorcycle accident. ” Stupid props. I hated them.

Going hungry started to look better when I walked in the house and got a look at my dad ’s face. He had
something on his mind. It was easy to tell — he always overdid it. Acted all casual.

He also talked too much. He was rambling about his day before I could get to the table. He never
jabbered like this unless there was something that he didn ’t want to say. I ignored him as best I could,
concentrating on the food. The faster I choked it down . . .

“. . . and Sue stopped by today. ” My dad’s voice was loud. Hard to ignore. As always. “Amazing
woman. She ’s tougher than grizzlies, that one. I don ’t know how she deals with that daughter of hers,
though. Now Sue, she would have made one hell of a wolf. Leah ’s more of a wolverine. ” He chuckled at
his own joke.

He waited briefly for my response, but didn ’t seem to see my blank, bored-out-of-my-mind expression.
Most days that bugged him. I wished he would shut up about Leah. I was trying not to think about her.

“Seth’s a lot easier. Of course, you were easier than your sisters, too, until . . . well, you have more to
deal with than they did. ”

I sighed, long and deep, and stared out the window.

Billy was quiet for a second too long. “We got a letter today. ”

I could tell that this was the subject he ’d been avoiding.

“A letter? ”

“A . . . wedding invitation. ”

Every muscle in my body locked into place. A feather of heat seemed to brush down my back. I held
onto the table to keep my hands steady.

Billy went on like he hadn ’t noticed. “There ’s a note inside that ’s addressed to you. I didn ’t read it. ”




He pulled a thick ivory envelope from where it was wedged between his leg and the side of his
wheelchair. He laid it on the table between us.

“You probably don ’t need to read it. Doesn ’t really matter what it says. ”

Stupid reverse psychology. I yanked the envelope off the table.

It was some heavy, stiff paper. Expensive. Too fancy for Forks. The card inside was the same, too
done-up and formal. Bella ’d had nothing to do with this. There was no sign of her personal taste in the
layers of see-through, petal-printed pages. I ’d bet she didn ’t like it at all. I didn ’t read the words, not
even to see the date. I didn ’t care.

There was a piece of the thick ivory paper folded in half with my name handwritten in black ink on the
back. I didn ’t recognize the handwriting, but it was as fancy as the rest of it. For half a second, I
wondered if the bloodsucker was into gloating.

I flipped it open.

Jacob,

I’m breaking the rules by sending you this. She was afraid of hurting you, and she didn ’t want to make
you feel obligated in any way. But I know that, if things had gone the other way, I would have wanted the
choice.

I promise I will take care of her, Jacob. Thank you — for her — for everything.

Edward

“Jake, we only have the one table, ” Billy said. He was staring at my left hand.

My fingers were clamped down on the wood hard enough that it really was in danger. I loosened them
one by one, concentrating on that action alone, and then clenched my hands together so I couldn ’t break
anything.

“Yeah, doesn ’t matter anyway, ” Billy muttered.

I got up from the table, shrugging out of my t-shirt as I stood. Hopefully Leah had gone home by now.

“Not too late, ” Billy mumbled as I punched the front door out of my way.

I was running before I hit the trees, my clothes strewn out behind me like a trail of crumbs — as if I
wanted to find my way back. It was almost too easy now to phase. I didn ’t have to think. My body
already knew where I was going and, before I asked it to, it gave me what I wanted.

I had four legs now, and I was flying.

The trees blurred into a sea of black flowing around me. My muscles bunched and released in an
effortless rhythm. I could run like this for days and I would not be tired. Maybe, this time, I wouldn ’t
stop.

But I wasn ’t alone.

So sorry, Embry whispered in my head.

I could see through his eyes. He was far away, to the north, but he had wheeled around and was racing




to join me. I growled and pushed myself faster.

Wait for us, Quil complained. He was closer, just starting out from the village.

Leave me alone, I snarled.

I could feel their worry in my head, try hard as I might to drown it in the sound of the wind and the forest.
This was what I hated most — seeing myself through their eyes, worse now that their eyes were full of
pity. They saw the hate, but they kept running after me.

A new voice sounded in my head.

Let him go. Sam’s thought was soft, but still an order. Embry and Quil slowed to a walk.

If only I could stop hearing, stop seeing what they saw. My head was so crowded, but the only way to
be alone again was to be human, and I couldn ’t stand the pain.

Phase back, Sam directed them. I’ll pick you up, Embry.

First one, then another awareness faded into silence. Only Sam was left.

Thank you, I managed to think.

Come home when you can. The words were faint, trailing off into blank emptiness as he left, too. And I
was alone.

So much better. Now I could hear the faint rustle of the matted leaves beneath my toenails, the whisper
of an owl ’s wings above me, the ocean — far, far in the west — moaning against the beach. Hear this,
and nothing more. Feel nothing but speed, nothing but the pull of muscle, sinew, and bone, working
together in harmony as the miles disappeared behind me.

If the silence in my head lasted, I would never go back. I wouldn ’t be the first one to choose this form
over the other. Maybe, if I ran far enough away, I would never have to hear again. . . .

I pushed my legs faster, letting Jacob Black disappear behind me.



Acknowledgments

I would be very remiss if I did not thank the many people who helped me survive the birthing of another
novel:

My parents have been my rock; I don ’t know how anyone does this without a dad ’s good advice and a
mom ’s shoulder to cry on.

My husband and sons have been incredibly long-suffering —anyone else would have had me committed
to an asylum long ago. Thanks for keeping me around, guys.

My Elizabeth —Elizabeth Eulberg, publicist extraordinaire —has made all the difference to my sanity both
on and off the road. Few people are lucky enough to work so closely with their BFF, and I am eternally
grateful for the wholesomeness of cheese-loving Midwestern girls.




Jodi Reamer continues to guide my career with genius and finesse. It is very comforting to know that I am
in such good hands.

It is also wonderful to have my manuscripts in the right hands. Thanks to Rebecca Davis for being so in
tune with the story in my head and helping me find the best ways to express it. Thanks to Megan Tingley,
first for your unwavering faith in my work, and second for polishing that work until it shines.

Everyone at Little, Brown and Company Books for Young Readers has taken such amazing care of my
creations. I can tell it is a true labor of love for you all, and I appreciate it more than you know. Thank
you Chris Murphy, Shawn Foster, Andrew Smith, Stephanie Voros, Gail Doobinin, Tina McIntyre,
Ames O’Neill, and the many others who have made the Twilight series a success.

I can’t believe how lucky I was to discover Lori Joffs, who somehow manages to be both the fastest and
the most meticulous reader at the same time. I am thrilled to have a friend and accomplice who is so
insightful, talented, and patient with my whining.

Lori Joffs again, along with Laura Cristiano, Michaela Child, and Ted Joffs, for creating and maintaining
the brightest star in the Twilight online universe, the Twilight Lexicon. I truly appreciate all the hard work
you put into providing a happy place for my fans to hang out. Thanks also to my international friends at
Crepusculo-es.com for a site so amazing it transcends the language barrier. Kudos as well to Brittany
Gardener ’s fabulous work on the Twilight and New Moon by Stephenie Meyer MySpace Group, a fan
site so large that the idea of keeping track of it boggles my mind; Brittany, you amaze me.

Katie and Audrey, Bella Penombra is a thing of beauty.

Heather, the Nexus rocks.

I can’t mention all the amazing sites and their creators here,

but thank you very much to each of you.

Many thanks to my cold readers, Laura Cristiano, Michelle Vieira,

Bridget Creviston, and Kimberlee Peterson, for their invaluable input

and encouraging enthusiasm.